The Greatest Television Ever: Seinfeld's "The Contest"

I was channel surfing yesterday after my kids were done resting, and I came across a 2 hour block of the show "Seinfeld". I'm a huge fan of the show. It is one of, if not the, greatest live action sitcoms of all time. Everything about the show is perfect. The writing, the directing, the acting, the jokes, the stories, everything is great. I happened upon the last episode of the 2 hour block, but boy was it a great, all time classic episode. The one I got to watch was "The Contest".

For fans, you all know what this episode is about. But, for the people that don't know, this episode is basically about the 4 main characters, Elaine, George, Kramer and Jerry, challenging each other to see how long they can go without, how do I put this lightly, giving themselves pleasure. This may be the greatest episode of "Seinfeld" that has ever been on TV. In fact, this may be one of the greatest 22 minute blocks of TV ever created. That includes all genres on all networks of all time. Everything about this episode is peak comedy and peak "Seinfeld".

The episode starts like almost every other episode. Kramer, Elaine and Jerry are hanging out at Monk's, having a conversation that is essentially about nothing. They are chit chatting, and then George walks in with a very disgusted face. They all ask what is wrong, and he goes into a story about his mom walking in on him, again how do I put this lightly, I'll just say pleasuring himself for the rest of the blog. He says that he was there to drop some stuff off, no one was home, and a "Glamour" magazine was on the table. George says he started to leaf through the magazine, and "one thing led to another", and his mom walked in on him doing that. She immediately crumpled to the ground screaming, "George! What are you doing!". George then says that his mom threw out his back, and when she went down, he said he had to decide between helping her, or zipping up. He chose to zip up, claiming, "I couldn't go over there the way I was". Everyone laughs at him, and George proclaims that he is never going to pleasure himself again, ever. They all laugh at him, and he claims that he could last longer than any of them. They all decide then and there to have a "contest" to see who can last the longest. Even Elaine wants in, but they try to explain how ladies can last longer. Jerry says that she needs to give them odds. Elaine balks at this, explaining that women have the same needs. She even says that she has to shave her legs, when shaving is brought up, and this makes Kramer exclaim, "not everyday". Hilarious line. The guys eventually cave, but Elaine has to give 50 extra dollars. Now, the contest begins.

The next scene has everyone hanging out at Jerry's house and Kramer bursts through the door. He has spotted a completely nude lady walking around her apartment across the street. Jerry, George and Kramer rush to the window to check it out. Elaine walks in, and is cocky that this will be a cake walk for her. Then, Kramer leaves without saying anything to anyone. Then, about a minute later, Kramer walks in, slams money on Jerry's kitchen counter and says, "I'm out". So, now there were three.

Later in the episode, Elaine is at her aerobics class, and she comes to find out that JFK Jr is in her class. She is smitten and taken aback by this news. She gets a spot right behind him in class and is in love. We later cut to the four main characters trying to sleep. George, Elaine and Jerry cannot sleep, but Kramer, he is sleeping like a baby. We go back to Monk's and Elaine is telling the guys about JFK Jr being in her class. Earlier in the scene, George and Jerry have claimed to be "masters of their domain", and they ask Elaine if she still is, and she says, "I'm Queen of the castle".

The episode cuts back to Jerry's apartment, and Jerry is on the phone with his mother and Kramer is watching the lady across the street. Jerry is watching cartoons, and after he gets off the phone with his mom, he is singing children's songs to keep his mind off the lady across the street. This tactic doesn't work because Kramer is singing the tune, but it is about the lady across the street having no clothes on. Elaine goes to her aerobics class the next day, all done up. Her hair is nice, she has makeup on, the whole nine basically. She comes to find out that JFK Jr won't be there, he was in an earlier class, but the lady behind the counter let her know that she made an impression on him. Then, it's another scene of the four of them sleeping. George and Jerry are still restless, but Kramer, and now Elaine are sleeping like babies. Elaine walks in Jerry's apartment the next day, and, after a great scene involving George and Jerry fighting with each other over little things out of pure frustration, she puts her money down on the counter and says, "I'm out". Shock and awe from George and Jerry's faces. They thought she would coast, but she explains that the JFK Jr news got to her. Now, there were 2.

George is growing more frustrated by the day. He goes to visit his mom, and we see that the hospital bed next to hers has a young patient and nurse that is giving her a sponge bath. This is driving George nuts. He makes extra visits to his mom just to see this. He looks to be caving. But, Jerry is equally frustrated. He is dating a virgin, and he cannot get past kissing her. She wants to take it slow. He, being the "good" guy that he is, agrees, but it is driving him crazy as well. Both George and Jerry are pent up and frustrated. The ending of the episode is classic. We already know that Elaine and Kramer are out. But, when we get our final sleeping scene, both George and Jerry are resting comfortably as well. They have clearly caved, but we don't know who won the contest. We do find out in the series finale, but the fact that they ended this episode on a cliff hanger, and don't divulge who won until very later on in the series, makes this ending that much better.

I'm so glad that I came across this episode of "Seinfeld" yesterday. It's a classic, and it still holds up very well. "Seinfeld" is great, and "The Contest" may be their finest half hour. Go back and check out this episode, it is so, so great.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He has been master of his domain for over 20 years, so he says. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

John McLaughlin was Always Right

I did not always agree with John McLaughlin, but I always knew that he was right.

Today we lost a legend. John McLaughlin was the host and moderator of the "McLaughlin Group" that would air on PBS every week. I never knew the day it would premier, I used to watch it on Tuesday nights, but it never mattered. The McLaughlin group was the only political gab fest worth watching. Eleanor Clift, Bob Novak (also RIP), Pat Buchanan, Mort Zuckerman, Clarence Page, and John McLaughin, these are the people who enhanced my political education through the 1980's, 1990's, and the early 21st century. I studied politics in college, and "The McLaughlin Group" was must watch tv. I worked in politics after college, "The McLaughlin Group" was required weekly viewing.  My wife is very politically aware, and she makes "The McLaughlin Group" appointment television. As our country was becoming more and more partisan, "The McLaughlin Group" was the intellectual oasis in the sea of political ignorance. John McLaughlin was the center of this great and influential political education.

John McLaughlin's politics were not my own, but I knew he was looking for the right answers. Eleanor Clift and Pat Buchanan would argue about something, and John McLaughlin would put them both in their place. His politics may have been conservative, but is ideals were American. John McLaughlin wanted to know what would be the best solution for everyone. During the George W Bush administration, "The McLaughlin Group" was the first place I saw discussion about the wrongness of the Iraq war. During the debate for the Affordable Care Act, "The McLaughlin Group" was the first place to question the actual problems with the law (the fact that the law is a transfer of tax dollars to private insurance corporations). Before Fox News, or MSNBC, or "The Daily Show", John McLaughlin and his panel were exposing the problems with the Washington D.C. machine. John McLaughlin invented the idea of being disappointing with the federal government.

The modern incarnation of political television debate started with "The McLaughlin Group". Bill Maher would have no blueprint for "Politically Incorrect" or "Real Time with Bill Maher" without John McLaughlin. Fox News idiotic panels are nothing more than the conservative side of John McLaughlin's PBS show. Pointing out the folly of Washington DC did not start with John Stewart or Stephen Colbert, it started with "The McLaughlin Group". His influence was so great, that one of the most famous Saturday Night Live Sketches lampooned his new take on tv political commentary. John McLaughlin may be gone, but his legacy is bigger than any of us really know.

I watched the last weeks episode of "The McLaughlin Group" because I heard that John was absent. My heart sank when I heard he passed away. I did not share John McLaughlin's politics, but I shared his excitement for the American experience. The world of political dialogue is better for John's involvement, we need to honor that. RIP great moderator.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Be the next great political voice by writing for SeedSing.  

Ty Watches Bar Rescue: The Wheel House Edition

The most recent episode of "Bar Rescue" was great, as they have all been this season. The latest adventure found John Taffer and his crew in a small town in California. I don't remember the name, but they said it was about 90 minutes outside of LA. I figured this would be some big time, hot shot place, but this city was almost at the poverty line. They said the median household income was 27,000 dollars a year. That's only $5,000 above being considered in poverty. So, this bar needed to have a niche. Their niche was, the bar was attached to a roller rink. Apparently, the guy who now owned the bar was an employee who climbed the ladder all the way up to upper management at the roller rink. They had an empty space next door, so he turned it into a bar. He didn't give it a name, but the roller rink was called The Wheel House, so he used it for both the rink and the bar.

At first, the owner of The Wheel House said that they were raking in the dough. They had so many customers, it was hard to maneuver for the bartenders. There was also a lineage of workers that went to the rink as kids, got to know the owner, he does a ton of community service, in fact, he's like a local legend, that were now bartenders. It was a "family" owned and run business. But, as of recently, the bar had fallen on hard times. The roller rink was also not immune to the downturn in business, it was also struggling financially.

The roller rink I get, those things are outdated, but why was the bar failing you ask? Well, the owner was very low key and he let his employees get away with pretty much everything. They took money from the tip jar, they drank behind the bar, they basically refused to make food when ordered. Did I mention that the kitchen was over 100 feet away from the bar? Well, it is. The bartenders also argued with and cursed out customers. It was rough and the owner did nothing about this.

When Taffer and crew arrived, they noticed the dysfunction immediately. They saw all the things I just mentioned. They had a spy go in the bar and had him ask why this bar was failing. They all said that the staff was mean and the owner was nice, but needed to be tougher. When Taffer and crew went in the bar, they immediately called out one bartender for complaining about making food. They told the owner all the nasty things she said about him, and they forced him to fire her, one of my favorite things on the show. He did it, and got little backlash. In fact, the remaining employees seemed to take him more seriously afterwards. They did the stress test, the bartenders didn't do great, they didn't know how to pour proper drinks, but they at least tried. The kitchen staff was also good, but there was no system. We had come to find out that the owner was holding everyone back. He agreed to this as well, and he let Taffer and crew do everything necessary to get his money and his bar back in order. They kept mentioning, and saying the word, community a lot during this episode too. This owner was big time in the community, so Taffer and Spike TV ran with the word and they must have said it 10,000 times. After Taffer did his upgrades, he gave the bar a name, calling it Derby's Bar and Grill, a decent effort, and had the roller rink closed to all adults. The bar was for adults, the rink for kids. Great choice by Taffer.

After the rescue, the bar sales went way up, about 60%, and the food sales were even higher, coming in at 75%. This was all due to adding new, and useful systems. Taffer did it again. He turned a failing bar into a moderately successful one. Another strong episode this season from "Bar Rescue". Come back next week for my newest review.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor of SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He visited a roller rink one time, he was there when it was bulldozed to make room for a Starbucks. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.
 

Ty Watches the Eric Andre Show: Season 4 Episode 2

This past Friday there was another new episode of the "Eric Andre Show", and I'm here today to review it. This episode started like the older episodes normally do. This time around, Andre, after his name was announced, proceeded to destroy his stage. He ran on camera, screaming. It was just like every other season. Andre ran on his desk and crushed it. He ran through the signs on set and destroyed those too. He did one of my old favorites, and tackled the drummer to his band, while the rest of the band continued playing with terrified looks on their faces. There was a guy dressed as Abraham Lincoln that proceeded to kick the crap out of Eric Andre. It was all familiar, and great.

After the destruction, Hannibal Burress was introduced and Andre went into his monologue. This time, Andre was just yelling random stuff at the screen while Burress sat back and harassed him the whole time. It was very funny.

They then introduced their first guest, Stacey Dash. Dash was in Clueless 20 years ago and today she is another hate merchant on Fox News. She is a horrible, horrible person. She has stupid and incoherent views on politics, and just life in general. Andre knows this, and he pushed her with questions. He asked her about abortion and showed her doctored pictures of President Obama. Andre was pushing her buttons, and it was all uncomfortable and hilarious. Then, the camera panned down and we saw three very big mice walking on the floor. One of the mice walked across Dash's foot and she freaked out. I was laughing very hard at this. She was so scared, she leapt on Burress' back. She then walked off stage, terrified.

Once Dash and her horribleness left, Andre cut to some more of his pre filmed segments that he does on every episode. One had him selling bites of Chinese food on a New York subway. This was awkward and weird and funny, as usual. Another segment was Andre doing his, "Eric Andre on the Street" interviews. He would try to interview people, but most of them physically pushed him away. This made the segment turn into something new called, "FU TV". During this, Andre went off and yelled at his camera men and kept telling them to stop filming him. He showered them with curse words and made them run very far with him, but he was doing all of this in front of people, to see how they'd react. They all acted as you would expect, with shock and awe. Andre brought a classic back for the third segment, the Brotendo guy. This is a douchey character that Andre plays, that talks to random strangers about very random and very weird things. He also wears a very bright green shirt, with the nipples cut out, and tells crazy stories to people on the street. He acts like he knows these people, but they have no clue, making this that much more funny. This is one of my favorite side characters that he plays on the show.

They then went to their second guest, Jack MacBrayer. He is friends with Andre, but even he seemed to be very confused by everything that was going on. He was hesitant to answer questions. He looked uncomfortable. He kept asking Andre if he was okay. Then, at one point, a stage hand brought out some gray colored food and Andre offered it as a snack. MacBrayer declined, but Andre indulged himself. They had a conversation about how it's not good to just eat food put in front of you, but to end it off, a guy painted completely white busted out of Andre's desk. This made MacBrayer jump out of his seat. The guy said some gibberish and took off. MacBrayer was utterly confused. He was about to leave the stage when another stage hand came on to check his microphone, but it was just another person sent to make MacBrayer squirm. The guy kept touching him, instead of checking his mic. MacBrayer had enough, and he walked off the stage. At this point, we see Stacey Dash again, this time pulling back a curtain and saying that she found some more mice.

To end the show, Andre had some of his rapper buddies play a game called "Rapper Ninja Warrior". He had three or four guys come out on stage, blindfolded, and made them freestyle to a beat he created while dodging soiled underwear, an inflatable ball, a guy dressed as an American Gladiator, and finally, an inflatable pool with real snakes in it. To top all this off, Andre also had an electrical shock stick, which he used on every rapper. This was, like everything else on the show, was weird, but funny. One of the rappers totally wiped out in the snake pit. Another rapper ran off the balance beam, this resulting in a shock from Andre. Another guy got knocked off by the gladiator. Just typical "Eric Andre Show" stuff.

This was another great way to spend 11 minutes. I love this show, and I will be back next Monday with the review of the newest episode coming this Friday.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Is there a show out there that Ty should watch and review? Tell us all about it. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

NBC Hates the Olympics and they Hate You

We gave up on the audience years ago

The Olympics still hold some magic. Here at SeedSing we have talked about the games on our X Millennial Man Podcast. Guest contributor Jon C wrote a piece talking about his excitement about certain sporting events every four years. The Olympics should be must watch television in the United States. Being an American, we can see our athletes compete in nearly every event, and many times will medal in these events. Shooting, cycling, fencing, rowing are all sports not usually associated with American dominance, yet all of them have seen Team USA get a medal. The 2016 Olympic Games in Rio de Janeiro seems to be an event of peace, understanding, and sports. It seems to be a really cool thing.

I have to say that the Rio Olympics seem like a cool thing because the only way someone living in the United States can watch the games is through the channels of the National Broadcasting Company. Since the Athens games in 2004, NBC has been using a number of their cable outlets ,and the internet, to produce nearly twenty four hours of coverage during the Olympic games. All those channels and full days coverage. There should be no need for only tape delayed events. The 2000 Sydney games were almost entirely tape delayed, but the coverage was only on NBC's main station and not on any cable outlets. With major time delays in Athens, and again Beijing in 2008, NBC has presented a tape delayed package of the marquee events, in spite of having more channels and internet streaming. Sports like gymnastics, track and field, and swimming were shown to the American audience exclusively in prime time. This practice continued with the 2012 London games due to the five hour or more time difference between Britain and the United States. The last time someone in the United States was able to watch the games big events live were during the 1996 Athens games that took place in the United States.

It has been twenty years since someone living in the most powerful nation in the world could watch their Women's Gymnastics team perform live. In 1996 the ability to stream video over the internet was not readily available, twenty years on and it is easy to see live video from one's phone. NBC has gone to great lengths to make sure an American spectator can only see the Olympics when NBC thinks you should see the Olympics. Thanks to the global community of social media, any result in Rio is reported live. US Gymnast Simone Biles dominant gold medal win in the all around was broadcast to most of the globe immediately. The American audience had to wait eight hours until they could see the history making performance. When the results were posted to twitter, anyone in the USA who wanted to watch the performance was greeted with a message that the video was blocked in their region. NBC has usurped the government of the United States and is having video blocked from the citizens of the most powerful nation on earth. That is not good.

What is particularly galling about the 2016 Olympic tape delay is that host city Rio de Janeiro is only one hour ahead of the US eastern time zone. During the 1996 Atlanta games, people in Chicago were one hour behind the games, and NBC still showed the events live. The practice of tape delaying the games has been around since the games have been televised. In the 1980 Lake Placid New York Winter Olympics, the famous Miracle on Ice game was played in the afternoon, but ABC did not show the game until prime time. The difference between 1980 and 2016 is the ease of seeing things live in today's world. NBC does recognize the will of the people by allowing one to watch many events live via the NBC Olympics website. You will use your probably capped bandwidth and be at the mercy of your internet connection. Also being that NBC is owned by cable giant Comcast, the only way to access this live stream is to be a cable subscriber. Sorry cord cutters, only tape delays for you.

Putting aside the access of watching the games, NBC's coverage of the Rio Olympics has been insulting and generally terrible. Starting with the Opening Ceremonies, NBC once again let out of touch Matt Lauer and Meridith Vieria, and new comer Hoda Kotb, emcee the events for American audiences. Never mind that Lauer and Vieria were widely panned by media critics for their insulting, mildly racist, and dumb commentary during the 2008 and 2012 opening ceremonies. The 2016 edition was even worse. The veiled racism was present when Vieria referred to the Portuguese conquest of Brazil as immigration, Lauer referring as the Cayman Islands as a good place to holiday, or Kotb's groan inducing joke about the country of Djibouti. The trio more than lived up to the idea of the ugly American by constantly referencing Team USA. The opening ceremonies are supposed to be about the world coming together for two weeks of peace and sports competition. NBC and their commentators were presenting one hour tape delayed footage of Americans in Ralph Lauren between their eight hundred commercial breaks.

The awfulness of Lauer, Vieria, and Kotb extended to the people employed by NBC to provide commentary during the actual events. Early in the games, NBC swimming analyst Dan Hicks loudly proclaimed the husband, and coach, of dominant Hungarian swimmer Katinka Hosszu was the "man responsible" for the swimmers world record victory. Social media rightfully shamed Hicks. Longtime Gymanastics announcer Al Trautwig felt like it was important to point out that the adoptive parents of multiple gold medalist Simone Biles are not her real parents. The coverage of out gay and lesbian athletes has been insulting in that NBC refuses to talk about it. British swimming medalist Tom Daley is engaged to Oscar winning writer Dustin Lance Black, yet no camera close ups and human interest stories from NBC. Brazilian Beach Volleyball player Larissa Franca embraced her wife after a win, and NBC commentator Chris Marlowe felt like he should point out that Franca was hugging her husband. It is 2016, and this is what NBC sports employees are saying.

NBC and their Olympic team does not care if the audience is being insulted. The opening ceremony coverage has been widely criticized, yet no response from NBC. Vieria and Lauer were already insulting to the world two times before, why would Comcast care if they are idiots a third time. Hick's "man responsible" remarks were defended until a day later, then NBC issued a weak apology. Since those remarks, every race Hosszu has competed in, her husband has been prominent in NBC's coverage. The only time we saw Michael Phelps "man responsible" coach was on the final night of swimming. Trautwig decided to dig in and defend his comments about Biles parents, until he was finally forced to apologize because of the large backlash. People have rightfully pointed out the poor coverage, and NBC has stood by their terrible announcers. Comcast has been on the side of their ignorant coverage more than they have been on the side of the audience. 

NBC does not care about the audience, in fact they are openly hostile to the American viewer. Their marketing team has already blamed women for the networks terrible coverage. NBC thinks people want a packaged story, and not the tales being told through the competition. In 2012, the network was so invested in American gymnast Jordyn Wieber that when she did not win the individual all around gold, the network still focused on her. The actual gold medal winner was fellow American Gabby Douglas, the first African-American woman to ever win the all around gymnastics gold. NBC was set on making Wieber focal point, and win or lose she was still the main attraction. The endless commercials prove that the the non people corporations mean so much more than the eyeballs of actual human-American.

The spirit of the Olympics itself is another part of the games being ruined by NBC. One of the best parts of the opening ceremonies is the march of nations. For almost two hours, half of which was commercials, Lauer, Vieria, and Kotb spent most of their focus only on Team USA. The parade of nations is a great time to learn about the culture and history of unknown parts of the world. NBC thinks this is a non marketable distraction. There is a team made up of refugees. NBC has devoted less than five minutes of coverage to this incredible team. One of their athletes, Yusra Mardini, helped push a boat filled with refugees across the Aegean Sea, that is an inspiring story. A North Korean and South Korean gymnast posed for a selfie together, no NBC coverage. Comedy site Cracked spent more time than Comcast on these brave young women. The spirit of the Olympics is strong, in spite of NBC's best efforts.

The Olympic games have many, many problems. With the corruption of the bidding process, the bankrupting of nations, the constant cheating, the games always have a dark cloud hanging over the events. The little hope and excitement that still exists in the games is being put to the side in order for NBC to please corporate sponsor, and the network's out of touch media personalities. Unfortunately, Comcast has the rights to the summer and winter games until 2032. The only way to escape the idiocy of NBC's coverage, and truly feel the spirit of the games is to watch the Olympics in another country. Who is up for a road trip to Canada in 2018 to watch the PyeongChang Winter Olympics in their pure, and not, stupid glory? I will hold a seat at the bar.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is going to need some money for his 2018 trip to Canada. Help him out by supporting SeedSing.

Ty's 2016 College Preview and Predicitions

For my final preseason football preview, I'm going to talk about my favorite sport, college football. I love college football. There is nothing better than waking up on Saturday's in the fall and wasting an entire day watching college football. It is my drug of choice. For my preview I will talk about the 5 major conferences, the Big Ten, the SEC, the ACC, the Big 12 and the Pac 12. I will also throw a few independents in there, and I may talk about a few other teams that might strike my fancy. Enough chit chat, let's get to it.

I will start with the SEC, because it is my least favorite conference of all. They get so much deserved, but also undeserved love from all major media outlets. Yeah, I realize the SEC is good because I have eyes of my own and I can see, I don't need Paul Finebaum's punk ass telling me how great it is every god damn week. That guy is a total waste of time. Anyway, it will be much of the same with the SEC this year. It's Alabama, most people's preseason number one pick and defending champs, then everyone else. I know Alabama has lost a lot of players, but Alabama doesn't rebuild, they reload. They will find a serviceable running back, just like they did when Mark Ingram, TJ Yeldon and now Derrick Henry left. They will also find a QB. I'm sure they have a couple of blue chips sitting on the bench, waiting their turn. They will also find some new wideouts. They have all this stuff, and then some, just waiting for their turn. And as far as their o line, they are the best in college football. The coaches, and officers of the law for that matter, don't care if the best lineman in college football steals guns, he won't miss one single second because all the charges were dropped. The rest of the o line is huge and dominant. Their defense is always good. Yeah, Kirby Smart left for Georgia, but that won't matter, they will field 11 blue chip recruits that will play just as good as their predecessors. Alabama is loaded from top to bottom.

A few teams that may challenge are LSU, Georgia, Tennessee and Auburn. I don't buy the hype on Tennessee. They were supposed to be great last year, and I believe they finished with 7 or 8 wins. Butch Jones is also a piece of human garbage. Georgia is good, but they have a lot of holes to fill, and they don't have the roster that Alabama has. I also feel like they let Mark Richt go too soon. I don't think Kirby Smart will consistently lead that team to double digit wins every year. Auburn is fine, but Gus Malzahn is not a top of the line head coach. He has had a ton of problems finding a good QB since Cam Newton left, and he doesn't take enough time working with the defense. Auburn lets much lesser opponents stay in games way too long. LSU has a great running back in Leonard Fournette, and they have a very good defense, but the college game may have passed Les Miles a few years ago, and who will play QB, and who will that QB throw to? This team may be a one trick pony, but that pony is incredible.

I know I didn't mention Florida or Ole Miss. Florida played way out of their heads last year, and they will regress, especially on offense. Ole Miss may have to forfeit a bunch of games for cheating, and they lost almost everyone of importance from that team the last two years. They are on the decline as well. Once again, it is Alabama as your SEC champs. They have the best roster, and their players can get away with anything, as long as they are good.

Next, I will go to the ACC. The ACC has only 2 really good teams, and then a few okay teams, but the bottom half is garbage. The two good teams are Clemson and Florida State. Clemson was in the title game last year, and they had a chance to win it. Deshaun Watson is back, and that team is loaded with players at the skill positions. They will be a very lethal offense. Which is good for their defense, because the defense is very middle of the road. Clemson could, and may well, go undefeated this year, and they could do it while averaging 45 to 50 points a game, but also giving up 25-30. Florida State is due to bounce back from a "down" year, where they only won 10 games. They have a great running back, very good wideouts and they will pick a good QB. They also have a stout defense, even though they lost Jalen Ramsey to the pros. Florida State is incredibly good on both sides of the ball, and they are so balanced, it's hard to pick a good defense to go with when playing them. FSU will be very good this year.

The teams that are lurking, but not there yet, are Miami and Virginia Tech. Frank Beamer left VT after a very stellar career, so it will take time to build that team back up, but they play tough no matter what. Miami hired Mark Richt, which is huge, and I think within a year or two, he will have them highly competitive again. These things just take time and he needs to recruit his type of guys, but he is an excellent coach, and he is back at his alma mater. The days of Duke and Georgia Tech and teams like them being hyper competitive are long gone. The ACC is a two team race, and I like Clemson.

The Pac 12 may be taking the biggest nose dive as a whole conference. This conference was once feared and adored, but they look to have fallen on hard times. Sure, Oregon, UCLA, USC, Stanford and Washington are good, but when was the last time they were great? Oregon was not the same team last year. They played little to no defense, and they never really found a rhythm on offense. The super up tempo play just didn't have its desired effect last year. They will be decent, but they are going the route of transfer QB again, and even though I think Brady Hoke has a good defensive mind, he is not the answer they need to shore up that unit. UCLA has a great QB, but other than that, there is not a ton of weapons. Josh Rosen is also a sophomore, so he is either going to be better, or he will have that slump. He started off last year on fire, but as UCLA played better teams, people figured him and their offense out, and they weren't putting up huge numbers anymore. Their defense is very ho hum. Every year I hear that this is the year USC turns it all around, but they still haven't been that dominant team that they were in the early 21st century. The QB's aren't as good, neither are the backs. They have had some good receivers, but otherwise on offense, they are very average. The defense is fine, but they spend a ton of time on the field, and that is no good for any defense. Washington is another team that people say is "just a year away", but I've been hearing that since Steve Sarkisian was the coach. How many more 7 win seasons will it take before people realize that that is all Washington is, an average college football team.

The cream of the Pac 12 crop is Stanford. They have probably the second best back in all of football in Christian McCaffery, but that is where the threat begins and ends. They need a new QB, some new receivers and some one else to spell McCaffery out of the backfield. They are a lot like LSU, except their coach is better, but their defense isn't as good. Stanford should easily win the Pac 12 this year, regardless of who they put in at QB and receiver.

The Big 12 is another conference that used to be really competitive, but if Oklahoma doesn't cruise, it will de a disappointment. Yeah, TCU is decent and they have a decent transfer QB in Kenny Hill, but they lost Josh Docston and Trevoyne Boykin to the pros. They will have a good defense, but it is not as good as it once was. Who in the hell knows with Oklahoma State. Last year they were supposed to regress, but they played pretty well. I assume they are supposed to be decent this year, but that means they will probably take a step back. West Virginia is not the threat they once were. KU is a laughing stock. Kansas State needs to rebuild. Texas still doesn't have the players they need to compete. And Baylor, with all the problems they have going on right now, they may get the death penalty from the NCAA. Oklahoma has the best players and the best team, by a wide margin, in the Big 12. They will win it with ease.

Finally, as far as major conferences go, I have my favorite, the Big 10. The Big 10 has turned a corner over the past couple of seasons. They aren't as big joke anymore. They field good, high scoring and well defending teams. The Big 10 is good again.

The Big 10 is not all great, they do have teams that are not good and some that sit in the middle. Teams like Maryland, a long way away from competing, Illinois, hired Lovie Smith, but still a VERY long way away from competing, Purdue, who just isn't good and Minnesota, they play tough but blow games, are not great. The middling teams are getting better. As much as I may dislike Northwestern, they are always a tough game for anyone they play. Those kids are smart and they play smart football, for the most part. Indiana, who doesn't play a lick of defense, has a great offense that is capable of putting up 50 points on any given night. Nebraska always fields a very tough team. I know they had a losing record last year, but they got beat in some gut wrenching ways, and they crushed UCLA in their bowl game. Penn State always has a good run game and a decent defense, but their coach is holding them back. And Wisconsin will have a great running game, but not much else. That will still be good enough for 8 wins though.

The upper level of the Big 10 is scary good. Iowa is a very solid football team that plays very well technique football. They do not make mistakes. They are well coached and run their offense and defense as it should be run. Last year was an anomaly, I think they only lost 1 game, but they will still be very good. Michigan State lost a lot of important players from their team, but they are a tough team no matter what. They are also very, very dirty. They will have some rebuilding to do, but East Lansing is a tough place to play, and they will win some games that they shouldn't. Ohio State lost a lot to the draft as well, but JT Barrett is back, and so is Urban Meyer. This team is like Alabama. They don't rebuild, they reload. I'm sure they have some players that have been waiting to bust out, and now is their time. I HATE this team, but you have to give respect where it is due.

Then, there is my Michigan Wolverines. They surprised everyone last year, me included, by winning 10 games, but now, there's expectations. This team returns 14 starters from last year. They have an incredible defense, led by their defensive line. Jabrill Peppers is one of the best playmakers in the game. They have great receivers and tight ends and running backs on offense. But, they need to pick a QB, and the o line still needs some work. They also have to travel to Iowa, Columbus and East Lansing this season. Those will be tough road games. Michigan is better, but I think they are 1 year away from being a playoff threat.

As far as who I think wins the Big 10, I am going to have to pick the much hated Buckeyes once again. JT Barrett is really good, and Michigan is a year away and Iowa played out of their minds last year, and MSU lost too much to the pros.

I can't do a college football preview without mentioning Notre Dame. People seem to think they will be great, but I just think they will be good. They have to settle on a QB, and they lost a lot of skill players to the pros. Their defense is very far from elite too. I could see them winning 9, maybe even 10 games, but they are no threat to make the playoff.

Outside of the major conferences and the big names, the one team to watch out for this year is Houston. They were awesome last year, they beat FSU in a New Year's 6 bowl game, and they have almost everyone back from that team. Houston has a very good football team once again. They are making Rodney Peete proud.

I guess what it all comes down to is, who do I think will be in the playoff and who will face off for the title. Well, I think the 4 playoff teams will be Alabama, Clemson, Oklahoma and Stanford. Alabama will find its way, they always do. Clemson will outscore everyone by 100 points to return. Oklahoma will cruise through the very weak Big 12, and I think an early season victory over Houston will help, and Stanford is going to be so much better than any team in the Pac 12, and I think they can go undefeated this year. My ranking of the teams, from 4 to 1 would be, Stanford, Alabama, Oklahoma and Clemson. So that means Clemson and Stanford would play each other, with Oklahoma and Alabama squaring off in the other matchup. I like Clemson and Oklahoma in those games. And, I'm going to go ahead and pick Clemson to win the 2017 National Title. They had their chance last year, but much like the Panthers in the NFL, I think they got better and will make up for what they missed out on last year.

As far as the Heisman goes, I think names will pop up all year. Guys like McCaffery, Fournette, Baker Mayfield, JT Barrett, Greg Ward, they will all get talked about, but I think Deshaun Watson will win it. He finished third last year, but I think he takes it home this season, both the Heisman and the title.

That does it for all of my football previews. I will check in at midseason on both, but for now, that is how I see things shaping up. Now please, bring on some real football games.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. What happens when Ty and RD stop being polite, and talk about reality television. Listen to the new X Millennial Man Podcast where reality television is given its time to shine. Download for free tomorrow. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik. 

The SeedSing 2016 NFL Predictions and Picks

Time to hand out a few game balls

To round out my NFL preview, today I will pick each division winner and who I think will be the two wild cards from each conference. I will also pick the Super Bowl teams and winner. As well as team picks, I will also pick the offensive and defensive players of the year, the offensive and defensive rookies of the year, the coach of the year and the overall MVP. This blog is going to be short and to the point. One sentence as to why I pick each team is all I'm giving myself. If you want to know other reasons I like these teams, you can read my 8 part preview that I finished yesterday.

Let's start with the AFC. The AFC East will be tricky because of Brady's suspension, but I still think the Patriots will win. Brady will come back on fire, and he will, on his own, will this team to the division title. The rest of the teams are either not ready, or not good enough to dethrone the juggernaut that is the Patriots. The AFC West will, most likely, be the toughest division in all of football, with three of the four teams finishing over .500, but I think the Broncos will win it. Their defense is just too good, and they won't give up a lot of points. If the offense averages 20, that would be absolutely huge for them. But, watch out for the Chiefs and the Raiders, they are both coming to dethrone the Broncos. The AFC North will also be a three team race, maybe 2, the Ravens aren't that good, but the Bengals and Steelers will fight it out all season. I see the Steelers winning because they have one of the best offenses in all of football, and their defense is pretty decent. The AFC South is still a joke, but it is getting better. Tennessee still stinks, but the Jaguars are putting together a competitive team. This all comes down to health and performance, and I think the Colts will rebound and win the division, but the Texans will be tough. As far as the wild cards go, I'm going to have to go with the Bengals and the Raiders. The Raiders are going to be good, and the Bengals have become mainstays, even if they cant get out of the first round.

For the NFC, let's start with the lowly NFC East. As I stated many times in my preview, a team with a losing record, like the Cowboys or Giants, could win this division, but I think Washington has the best players and the talent to easily repeat. They will get bounced after one round, but they will make a second straight playoff appearance. The NFC West is a two team race, between the Cardinals and the Seahawks, but the Cardinals are a much, much better team than the Seahawks. If the Cardinals don't win this division with ease, it should be deemed a disappointment. They have the best offense, and their defense is right there with Seattle. Arizona should cruise. With the NFC North, again, we have a two team race between the Packers and the Vikings. I just don't see, especially if they are at full health, how the Packers do not win this division. They have one of the best QB's in all of football, and they have a pretty good defense. Green Bay should win by 2 games. The NFC South is all about the Panthers. They are my best team in the NFL this year, and a lot of other writers agree with me. The Panthers could win their first 10 games and sew up the division with 6 weeks left. They are the cream of the crop. As far as the wild cards from the NFC, I have Minnesota and Seattle, but this may be a last shot for both teams.

I like the Patriots and the Broncos to meet again in the AFC Championship, this time the Patriots will come out on top. And for the NFC Championship, I like the Cardinals and the Panthers, another rematch, with Carolina winning.

That means Super Bowl 51 will be Carolina-New England. As much as I want to pick the Patriots, just so they can shove it in Goodell's stupid smug, arrogant face, I think the Panthers are too good, and they will learn from last season's disappointing loss in the Super Bowl. Carolina is my pick to win Super Bowl 51.

As far as awards go, I like Cam Newton as both, the offensive player of the year and MVP. His time is now, and he will not back down. He has gotten better every year, and I don't see any regression from him. He is awesome. As far as defensive player of the year, I like Luke Kuechly. He is the star defender of one of the better defenses in the NFL. That makes a clean sweep by Panthers in awards and titles. The offensive rookie of the year will probably be some 6th or 7th round pick that a lot of people are overlooking, or if they had the nerve to give it to a lineman, I'd pick Laremy Tunsil, but I think someone like Derrick Henry, who was a second round pick, and will get every opportunity to play for Tennessee or, more likely, Corey Coleman at Cleveland or Laquon Treadwell in Minnesota. Let's go with Treadwell since Minnesota is so much better than Cleveland. For defensive rookie of the year, it will be tough because there are a lot of good, young defenders, but I think I will go with Jalen Ramsey. He may get beat deep sometimes, but he will be a good corner from day one in the NFL. My coach of the year has got to be Jack Del Rio. I love what he has turned the Raiders into, and he will deservedly win this award this year if the Raiders live up to the hype I have put on them.

So that does it for my 2016 NFL preview. Let me know why I'm right or wrong, and football will be here before we know it, thank goodness. Come back tomorrow when I finish off my football previews with my college football preview.

Ty

Editor's Thoughts - I have no major differences with Ty on the playoff teams. I think Kansas City could be better than the Raiders and I do not believe in Seattle. It pains me to say that Tampa Bay could sneak into the playoff picture. Also, the Cincinnati should be called Harambes will win the AFC North. The Cincinnati squad will (FINALLY) win not one, but two playoff games to face Arizona in the Super Bowl. The Queen city will be overjoyed.

The Cardinals will destroy the Bengals by 30-40 points.

RD

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. RD Kulik is the Head Editor and frequent contributor to the X Millennial Man Podcast. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik and make RD happy by supporting SeedSing with straight cash.

Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: Perfectly Cooked Porterhouse Edition

Now, for the final four. I legitimately believe, nor would I be surprised, if any one of these teams won the Super Bowl. Hell, two of the final four may end up playing each other. These teams are the best of the best. They have the best players, the best offenses, the best defenses, they have it all. These the elite.

At number 4, I have the defending Super Bowl champs, the Denver Broncos. The Broncos defense is so incredibly good, but since I've started with offense the whole preview, I'm not going to change now. Sure, Peyton Manning retired, and sure, he is a first ballot hall of famer, but he was the not the reason the Broncos won the Super Bowl. He played very, very poorly last year. They won in spite of him. Now that he is gone, they do have a question at QB. They traded for Mark Sanchez, why would anyone do that, and they have Trevor Simien on the roster, but he wasn't even good enough to be the primary QB at Northwestern, but they did draft a QB, Paxton Lynch. I wasn't high on any of the QB's in this draft, but Lynch is one of the taller ones, he has an okay arm, and he can run. But, the Broncos don't need an all world QB, they just need a game manager. I'm sure Sanchez will start the season as QB 1, but I bet by week 4 or 5, Lynch will be in there. The Broncos running game was supposed to be good last year, but it was non existent. CJ Anderson and Ronnie Tillman were supposed to be a great 1-2 punch, but neither of them did much of anything. They were mediocre last year, but I expect some kind of bounce back. The Broncos do have great receivers. Emmanuel Sanders and Demaryius Thomas are both great, even though Thomas drops a lot of balls, but they don't have a good QB throwing to them. They will get open, but will the QB, whoever it is, get the ball to them. The o line is just fine at pass blocking, but their run blocking needs to get better. Now, where the Broncos shine is defense. They are one of the best defenses in the history of football. They absolutely stifled the Patriots and Panthers on their way to the title last year. Von Miller is probably the best linebacker in football. He is a great pass rusher, run stopper and can cover. He is the total package. They lost Danny Treveathan, but that won't hurt them that much. When Aqib Talib isn't getting into mysterious bar fights, he is a great shut down corner. He plays dirty, but he has found a way to get away with it. Bradley Roby is a ball hawk. If he has a chance at a pick or a fumble recovery, he will get there. He is always in the right place at the right time. DeMarcus Ware is a beast off the edge. He is unblockable, and the best thing for him was getting out of Dallas and going to Denver. And TJ Ward and Chris Harris are exceptional defensive backs. The Broncos defense is loaded, and they will once again carry the to a division title and a deep playoff run. I think they finish 12-4.

At number 3, I have the New England Patriots. I know that Tom Brady is suspended for 4 games, but they won when he got hurt and Matt Cassell was the QB. Jimmy Garrappolo is better than Matt Cassel. He will keep them afloat until Brady gets back, and when he does get back, Brady will be on a mission. Goodell poked the bear, and the rest of the NFL is going to suffer for it. The Patriots don't have much of a running game, which is their Achilles heel. Dion Lewis and Legarrette Blount are fine, but they are not even middle of the field in the NFL. But, the Patriots have receivers all over the field, and they have the best weapon in all of the NFL in Gronk. Yeah, Julian Edelman, Danny Amendola and Chris Hogan are fine. But, Gronk is the man. He catches everything, he is unguardable, he is the best red zone threat in all of the football and he is the biggest and fastest player to ever play his position. They also got Martellus Bennett to pair with him as well. That will be deadly. The Patriots o line needs work, but the speed that Brady gets the ball out of his hand, that neutralizes any deficiencies I think they have. The Patriots defense is serviceable. The can get stops when they need to and they can get pressure. I know Rob Ninkovich just got hurt, but he will be back by October. They did sign Chris Long this offseason. That was a huge, yet very quiet singing. Chris Long is awesome. They still have Malcolm Butler, and he is a very good corner. Jamie Collins and Dont'a Hightower are still roaming the linebacker duties, and they are both good. The Patriots, as they have been the entire 21st century are good. They may not miss Brady all that much for the first four games, and when he comes back, look out, he will be on a mission to destroy. I say they split the first four games, then win 11 of the next 12 and finish at 13-3.

At number 2, I have the Arizona Cardinals. This is the Cardinals last chance with this team to make a deep run, but they have the talent to do just that on both sides of the ball. Carson Palmer is a very good regular season QB. He puts up big numbers and plays very well, during the regular season. He is a perennial pro bowler and even pops up in the MVP conversation from time to time. But, in the post season, he is a different QB. He looks flustered and makes way too many mistakes. they got whipped in the NFC Championship, and I believe he had 6 turnovers in that game himself. Maybe this is the year he rights the ship. David Johnson proved to be a very good running back last year. He is like a bowling ball. He runs low to the ground, carries tacklers and gains the tough yards. They also have a resurgent Chris Johnson. He looked like his old self at times last year, and that should scare their opponents. The run game in Arizona is solid. Then, they have one of the greatest receivers of all time in Larry Fitzgerald. This guy has done everything and then some for this team. He is the consummate teammate and pro. There is not one bad thing I will say about Larry Fitzgerald, he is great. And if Michael Floyd can stay healthy, they have a great 1-2 punch with him and Fitzgerald. Floyd can stretch the defense with his speed and Fitzgerald does the dirty work. The Cardinals o line is very good. They do an excellent job of pass protecting and they open some huge holes for the run game. Arizona's defense is also very good. They have a great d line, led by Calais Campbell. They can stop the run and sack the QB. They have decent linebackers that are much better run stoppers than cover guys. But they have two of the best secondary players in football in Tyrann Mathieu and Patrick Peterson. I personally think Peterson is the best corner in the game. He always guards the other teams best receiver and he usually shuts them down. He is also an excellent return man. Mathieu is a ball hawk and an extremely hard hitter. He loves to tattoo guys, and he will get some pick sixes and fumble returns for TD's. Being a defender, he has a nose for the end zone. I'm a big Tyrann Mathieu fan. Arizona is the cream of the crop in their division, and I say they win it going away with a 13-3 record.

Now for number one. I have the Carolina Panthers as the best team in football this year. They were the best team last year, and they only got better this offseason. They have one of the best QB's and athletes in the NFL in Cam Newton. Newton is huge, he is fast, he is accurate, he has a rocket arm and he makes the right decision always. Cam Newton is rapidly becoming one of the best QB's in the game. He has no flaws, except for his ego, but that is not a big deal. Then, they have good running backs in Jonathan Stewart and Mike Tolbert. they are both similar in the fact that they are bigger running backs and that they crush would be tacklers. They are great compliments to Newton. Then, the way they got better this offseason, Kelvin Benjamin returns from injury. He is so big and so fast and has excellent hands. He gives Newton the threat he needs on the outside. But, let us not forget Ted Ginn Jr and Devin Funchess and Cory Brown. All these guys stepped up last year in Benjamin's absence, and they all played pretty well. Then, they have Greg Olsen at tight end. He is so good, so durable and so reliable. The dude just puts up numbers and I think he is Cam Newton's favorite target. He gets a lot of red zone attention. The Panthers o line is the best in the NFL. They protect Newton, they open holes, they do everything and they do it all exceptional. This team is lethal on offense. Then on defense, they have some damn good players. Luke Kuechly is one of the best linebackers in the game. He is a sack and tackling machine and he is a very good cover guy. They also have Thomas Davis out there at linebacker, and he is right there with Kuechly is talent. The d line is great. Kawann Short, Kony Ealy and Star Lotulelei wreak havoc in the backfield. The secondary did lose Josh Norman, but they have guys that can do the job. The ageless wonder Cortland Finnegan is back there. And Leonard Johnson and Tre Boston are good secondary players. They are not Josh Norman, but I don't think the Panthers will be too hurt without him. The Panthers are exceptional and they should have won the Super Bowl last year, they just got outplayed. This team may flirt with perfection again, but I say they finish 14-2 and they will have a fairly easy road back to the Super Bowl.

That is my countdown of all 32 NFL teams. Come back tomorrow when I will pick my Super Bowl winner and award winners. And come back Friday for my college football preview.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He remembers the days of ESPN arguing for Blaine Gabbert over Cam Newton as Carolina's number one pick. Those guys at ESPN sure are smart. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: Sleeping in on a Sunday Morning Edition

Then there were 8.

I'm down to the last 2 days of my countdown of the NFL. These are the good teams. They are not the best of the best, but a couple of things break their way, they could find themselves in the Super Bowl. These teams are nearly complete, and they are legit contenders. On with the countdown.

At number 8, I have the Minnesota Vikings. This team took a real big step forward last year. The offense is led by a child abuser, and all out human monster, Adrian Peterson. I know he is a very good running back, but that does not change the fact that he purposefully beat up his 4 year old and showed no remorse for it. Yes, he is good, but every time he gets hit on the field, I hope he gets injured. People who beat up children deserve the worst. At QB, I really want to like Teddy Bridgewater, and maybe this is the year he finally puts it all together. He checks down way too much, but they did draft Laquon Treadwell, who I think can be a good NFL player and he also has Kyle Rudolph at tight end. He is a machine at catching the ball. I also like Stefon Diggs, and he has a full year under his belt. Cordarelle Patterson hasn't put it together yet, and this year may be his last chance, but he can still be good. The Vikings o line is pretty decent as well. Where I think this team is underrated is their defense. They're very formidable. The defensive line is decent, anchored on each end by Danielle Hunter and Everson Griffen. The linebackers are very good, led by Chad Greenway and Anthony Barr. The secondary has very good players, namely Harrison Smith and Andrew Sandejo. They may not be the brightest names, but they are all very good players on a very good defense. Mike Zimmer has also proven to be a capable head coach. This Vikings team is getting better, and they will challenge Green Bay again. I say they finish the season 11-5.

At number 7, I have the Pittsburgh Steelers. Now, first off, I cannot stand this team. They are whiny babies, they complain about everything that doesn't go their way, they are basically the LA Clippers of the NFL. But, they are good. Their QB, another piece of human garbage, is Ben Roethlisberger. When he isn't out allegedly sexually assaulting young females, he is a good to great QB. He is such a terrible person, but he is durable, plays injured and makes throws, so he gets a pass from idiots like Roger Goodell and ESPN. The running game will miss LeVeon Bell after he skipped another drug test and got suspended for four games, but a guy like D'Angelo Williams or Fitz Toussaint will pick up the slack. I know Toussaint fumbled away the playoff game last year, but he is a good enough back that he will get over it, and probably put up decent numbers until Bell gets back. Williams, while older, still runs hard and gains yards. They still have old reliable, Heath Miller at tight end, so that position is still very good. At receiver, they have the wonderful and prolific Antonio Brown. I don't care what kind of stupid hair cut he has when he makes as many catches as he does, racks up as many yards as he does and scores as many TD's as he does. Antonio Brown is awesome. And he is not the only threat. They also have Markus Wheaton, who is very good. The Steelers offense could be lethal. They also have a pretty good defense as well. Guys like James Harrison, Ryan Shazier, Alvin Dupree, William Gay, Jarvis Jones and Shamarko Thomas are all very good at their jobs. They can pressure and cover. This team, as much as it pains me to say it, could very easily make their way, and possibly win, the Super Bowl this season. But, they do have questions. Can Roethlisberger stay healthy and out of trouble? Same for Bell? will Antonio Brown be tired from carrying this team last year? And when will Mike Tomlin make another bone headed decision, because we know it's coming. I think the Steelers will be good, if everything breaks their way. I have them at 12-4.

At number 6, I have the hometown team of our head editor, the Cincinnati Bengals (ed note: Go Bengals). First off, I hope they change their name to the Harambe's, because that would be absolutely incredible. Anyway, they still have Andy Dalton at QB. This guy has to be so frustrating to watch if you are a Bengals fan. He will look great one play, then do something that only Tony Romo does on the next play. He chucks way too may passes in the air as well. He is a complete wild card. But, he does have receivers that are willing and able to try and track down those errant throws. AJ Green is a highlight reel on almost every play. His catches are almost as spectacular as Odell Beckham's. Green is one of the upper echelon receivers in the NFL. Tyler Eiffert is about as reliable as they come. The Bengals need a first down, they go to him. They need 5 yards, they go to him. they need a jump ball in the endzone, it's Eiffert or Green. They also have Brandon LaFell, who I don't think is that bad. The Bengals running game is top notch. They have two awesome backs in Giovanni Bernard and Jeremy Hill. Hill is explosive and Bernard is the bruiser, They both could start on almost any team in the NFL, but they choose to split time, and they are an exceptional duo. The Bengals defense has kind of turned into the old version of the Raiders. They are good, but they are dirty. Look no further than their playoff game last year. Yeah. Vontaez Burfict and Adam Jones are very good, but they are selfish and get way, way too many personal foul penalties. Dre Kirkpatrick is a good corner, but he plays opposite Jones, so that is a no win situation for him. Carlos Dunlap is a good linebacker, but all anyone talks about is Burfict and the penalties. Same for Ray Meauluaga. Very good, but gets overlooked. Carlos Dunlap is a good defensive end too. This Bengals team is good, but can they get out of their own way. I think this may be the last real chance that they have, and they should, at the very least, make it to the second round of the playoffs. I say the Bengals finish 11-5.

At number 5, I have my team, the Green Bay Packers. This team got absolutely ravaged with injuries last year and still almost made the NFC championship game. Aaron Rodgers is solidly in the top 3 of the best QB's playing right now. He has a great arm, runs when needed, throws into minuscule windows and puts up huge numbers. He is the engine that runs this offense. Eddie Lacy, if he loses weight and doesn't get hurt, makes the Packers run game a threat. When he is in there, and running hard, he is tough to take down, and he puts up numbers. I am an Eddie Lacy fan, but he has to show me a good, full season. I do like James Starks as his backup though. He is tall, finds holes and gashes teams for big, big runs. At receiver, this is where is gets dicey. If Jordy Nelson comes back fully recovered, than at least the Packers have one elite wideout. Nelson is very good and they missed him a whole lot more than I though they would last year. Randall Cobb is also very good, but he gets hurt way too much on returns, and he takes a beating going over the middle. He is small, but he plays big. After those guys, it's thin. I do like Richard Rodgers at tight end, but the fact that they are trying out Kellen Winslow Jr tells me they don't have a lot of faith in him. The Packers o line is the weak point of the offense. /they don't protect that well, and they open up very few lanes. They need work. The defense is good, but I feel like it can be better. When you have guys like Julius Peppers, Clay Matthews, Jake Ryan, Mike Daniels, Ha-Ha Clinton-Dix and Sam Shields, you should be better than middle of the pack. They give up big plays way too often. I also want Peppers and Matthews to talk to the guys that accused them of PED's, so they can clear their names. The bottom line, as long as Aaron Rodgers is the QB, this team will be competitive. I see a better year from Lacy and having Nelson back will really help out. I also think the defense will, and should, play a lot better. I think the Packers reclaim their stop at the top of the division and they win 12 games doing that.

Come back tomorrow for the last four teams of my countdown.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is building an eternal flame in his backyard to remember the greatest ever, Harambe. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Ty Watches Bar Rescue: Champagne's Cafe' Edition

This past Sunday, Jon Taffer and crew headed to Taffer's hometown of Las Vegas to rescue a bar. What was weird about this episode, right off the bat, they had some old guy being interviewed that was not an owner, nor was he an employee at said bar. He came on, said some stuff about how people don't like change in Vegas, basically, it was just rambling. My wife and I were both very confused.

Once the weird intro ended the meat of the episode started, and we eventually met the owner of Champagne's Café. He seemed to be a mild mannered guy that just wanted to own a bar. He got the seed money from is mother, but after only a year or two, the bar started to lose money. They then cut back to that weird old guy from the beginning. He said some more stuff, but I was even more confused by this point. Then, they went back to the owner, and he was saying how this bar was another historical landmark. He said that the Rat Pack used to come in and hang out at the bar because it was far enough away from their rabid fans. He also said that the bar used to be a mobster hangout. Goodfellows would come in and, much like the Rat Pack, it was a place for them to get away. It was kind of a mobster hideout. Once the mob connection was presented we find out who this old man was that had been talking at us the whole episode. He claimed to have been a crony for the mob, and he vouched that the people he worked for did, in fact, hang out at Champagne's. So, the mystery of the old man was finally solved.

When we got back to the "rescuing" of the bar, we found out that the bar wasn't dingy or dirty. They still had a decent customer base. The drinks were good enough. No, the problem with this bar was the owner. He was a total pushover, and he did not have the skills to train the bartenders. On the first night, Taffer and his "expert" sat outside and watched as the owner allowed two of his employees to no call-no show and watched him poorly train the only bartender in the building. The recon spies asked for very simple drinks. One wanted a Manhattan and the other, a famous drink called the Bee's Knees. These drinks are supposed to be very simple, according to Taffer and the "expert", but the new bartender had no idea how to make them, and the owner, well, he was just as clueless. It got so bad that the "expert" went into the bar, ordered a drink, it was made incorrectly, so she went behind the bar and showed them how to make it properly. At this moment was when Taffer showed up inside the bar. He didn't yell or berate this guy, he just seemed disappointed in him. He gave him a hard time about poorly running a hospitality business in the hospitality capitol. The owner was a mess. He never raised his voice or got angry at the workers that skipped out on him and almost everything Taffer suggested, he obliged. The one thing he wasn't so happy about was the fact that Taffer may change the wallpaper in the bar. This dude had some weird obsession with wallpaper. He spoke of it as if it were his child. I think he may have been in love with the wallpaper.

Aside from the owner being a mess, the bartenders, when they did show up, they were actually pretty good. They knew how to make drinks and how to make them fast and correct. This was one of the first times that the employees, save for their disregard to schedules, seemed to be on top of things. They knew what they were doing. Instead of a stress test, Taffer had people come in and taste test the drinks made by the three bartenders. The winner would get the best shift. It was an interesting change from the beloved stress test.

After the taste testing and the crew working on the bar, we got the big reveal. When Taffer got to the number 3, the crew turned around, and very little had been changed. They kept the name, once again because of the history. And, aside from a new neon sign, the outside was only touched up with paint and made to look brighter. Then, they went inside. This was when the owner was at his most anxious because he thought that the wallpaper would be gone. But, much to his relief, the wallpaper was still there, and it was actually made to look a bit nicer. They didn't change too much inside either. The allure of this place was the old school-ness of it, so Taffer kept it that way. I thought the changes inside were nice. It looked like a hip, old school type bar.

This season of "Bar Rescue" has been very pleasing to watch so far. We've gotten a little bit of everything from each episode, and this was a particularly unique episode because the bar wasn't in disrepair, it was the owner that needed to shape up. By all accounts, Champagne's is doing pretty decent business, and the owner looks to be close to out of debt. He also has a tighter leash when it comes to schedule and he said he is not the pushover that he once was. Good for him, and his bar.

Come back next week for the review of the next episode.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Due to the fact that Ty does not drink, he appreciates the look of a bar. He especially likes well thought out wallpaper. Follow him on twitter @tykulik.

Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: Shirt Fresh Out of the Dryer Edition

It's a new week, so that means we are back to my NFL countdown. I started last week with the worst and worked my way all the way to 4 teams that have a legitimate shot at making the playoffs this year by the end of the week. Starting today, I have 12 total teams left, so we are near the cream of the crop of the NFL. Today, I even have some division winners. I also have a few surprise teams, based on where I have them ranked. This is the good part of the NFL. These last 12 teams are all hyper competitive, and they have full fledged stars, and up and coming super talents. Okay, on with the countdown.

Coming in at number 12, I have the Indianapolis Colts. This team was ravaged by injuries last year, namely to Andrew Luck. I really think Luck is a great NFL QB. He is going to take that next step to the upper level, and I think it will happen this season, if he stays healthy. He had a ruptured spleen last year, and you could tell just by watching that he was in some serious pain. The fact that he even played as many games as he did was remarkable. The problem with Luck though, he does take way too many chances and that causes costly errors. The Colts also don't really have a running game. Yeah, they signed Frank Gore last year, but he was past his prime a few years back. He is still serviceable, but not the threat he once was. He still grinds out tough yards, but he has no break away speed anymore, not that he ever really had any at all. Gore also doesn't have that great of a line to run behind either. They also don't protect Luck all that well, he was sacked a lot last season, when he played. What the Colts do have, besides Luck, is a decent group of wideouts. T.Y. Hilton has become a household name for NFL fans. He is a deep threat, but he is also a very good possession receiver. They also have Donte Moncrief, who is a taller version of Hilton, just not as polished yet. They also have the ageless wonder, Deion Branch at receiver. He is old, but he is still good. The Colts have names on defense, but the results are not there yet. The defense has guys like Robert Mathis, Vontae Davis and D'Qwell Jackson, who are all good, but they still give up a lot of points. If the defense can shore it up, they have the talent to be in the top 10 of the league. They do also have the best kicker, maybe in the history of the NFL, in Adam Vinateiri. He is as automatic as they come. The Colts should win their division. As I said last week, the Texans and Jaguars are coming, but the Colts still have Andrew Luck. I say they rebound from last year, go 11-5 and win the division.

At number 11, I have the Kansas City Chiefs. The Chiefs may be the most milquetoast team in all of football, but they win games. Andy Reid is a very good regular season head coach, so this team can always put together a very competitive team, they just don't win playoff games. Alex Smith may be the best game manager QB in the NFL. He makes the check down play a bit too much, but he usually makes the right throw. He very rarely gets picked off, which is huge for this team. Jamaal Charles, when he is healthy, is one of the best backs in the league. He's fast, he's shifty and when he is the open field, forget about trying to catch him, he's gone. But, he does get injured a ton. He has torn ACL's, suffered multiple concussions and gets nicks and bruises all the time. They have a good tight end in Travis Kelce, but he is a very poor man's version of Gronk. He doesn't have the size and speed or the hands of Gronk, but he is a reliable tight end. The Chiefs finally have a good receiver in Jeremy Maclin. He is very fast and has good hands. But, much like Charles, Maclin gets hurt a lot. He also alligator arms passes sometimes, leading me to believe that he doesn't like contact. But, he is still a very good receiver. Other than Maclin though, the Chiefs are thin at receiver. On the other side of the ball, the Chiefs are very stout. They have great players on defense with guys like Derrick Williams, Donatari Poe, Eric Berry, Justin Houston, Marcus Peters and Tamba Hali, amongst others. The Chiefs defense can get pressure, stop the run and cover the pass. The Chiefs are good, but they are the third best defense in their own conference, that's the problem. The Chiefs division is very, very good. I say they finish 10-6, but that will only good enough for third and they will miss out on the playoffs.

Coming in at number 10, I have my biggest mover from last season, the Oakland Raiders. Now, before you laugh this team off, they have gotten really good the past couple of seasons, and they have done most of it through the draft. First off, I think Derek Carr is a very serviceable QB right now, but I believe that he will become one of the better QB's in the league very soon. He has a great arm, makes good choices most of the time, and finally has some threats at the skill positions. Derek Carr is one of the better draft choices that the Raiders have made in a long, long time. Another great draft pick they made happened last year when they took Amari Cooper. Cooper proved in his rookie year that he was as advertised. He does the dirty work, i.e., going over the middle and jumping up for poorly thrown balls. Cooper also has speed, runs great routes and finds open spaces all over the field. Amari Cooper is awesome. They also have Michael Crabtree, who is still a very viable receiver, when he has a good QB. At running back, they looked thin, but Latavius Murray really showed up last year when they needed a good running back. He runs hard and grinds out yards. Their offensive line is also very, quietly, good. But, this Raiders defense is on the verge of being one of the top defenses in the NFL. They are so good, so fast, attack the other team, and they aren't dirty about it anymore. The defense is led by another great draft pick, Khalil Mack. Mack is so, so good. He is a dominant linebacker. He can tackle, he can cover and he is the leader of this unit when they are on the field, and he excels at all these things. They also signed Bruce Irvin this offseason away from Seattle, and now he is teaming up with Mack. Oof, that is a devastating duo at linebacker. They also have a good defensive line and secondary, but this defense is led by the linebackers, as defenses should be. I really like what the Raiders have done, I hope they don't move to Las Vegas, and they've done most of it through the draft. This team is good, and they should win 11 games this year, and compete for a playoff spot, but it will be from the wild card. I really enjoy this Raiders team.

At number 9, which is a fall for them, I have the Seattle Seahawks. I kind of feel that the shine is off this Seahawks team. They don't seem to be as dominant as they were 2 years ago. I feel that some people on their team, Russell Wilson, have let their ego get in the way of their game. Wilson was a fine game manager, but when he was the QB of a Super Bowl championship, I feel like he got way too much credit, and he let that get to his head. you could see it in his play last year. He tried to make throws that he can't possibly make. He also started to blame everyone else on the team for his short comings. Wilson is a slightly better version of Colin Kaepernick, he just happened to be on a team with one of the greatest defenses of all time. Then, they let Marshawn Lynch essentially walk away for nothing because he and Wilson couldn't coexist. They chose the QB over, at the time, the best running back in the league. I know Lynch was hurt a lot last year, but when he was in, he was great. Then, they struck gold with Thomas Rawls, who was a revelation, but he broke his ankle. The running back position is a big, big problem for this team, and they rely on the run more than any other NFL team. At receiver, they have just okay players. Tyler Lockett and Doug Baldwin are fine, but they are just kind of blah to me. They have Jimmy Graham, but they use him more for blocking than receiving, and that is not his strength. He is not a good blocker at all, but he is an all world receiver. They need to figure out how to use him properly. Their o line stinks as well. They simply cannot protect anyone. The defense is still good, but people have figured out how to neutralize their weapons. They lost Bruce Irvin, but they still have Bobby Wagner and KJ Wright. They are fine, but they are not Bruce Irvin. They do have a good d line, with guys like Michael Bennett and Cliff Avril. They can stop the run, but their days of pressuring the QB seem to be gone. The secondary is the best part of their defense, but it is not the "Legion of Boom"(what a stupid, self proclaimed nickname) anymore. Richard Sherman is great, but not like he was a few years ago. He gets beat deep more now, and he doesn't put fear in opposing QB's like he used to. Earl Thomas is a very good safety, but he also has lost a step or two over the past couple of years. Brandon Browner, in my opinion, has become a better over all cornerback than Richard Sherman, but no one talks about him. But, the cream of the crop in the secondary is Kam Chancellor. He is a great hitter and ball hawk. Chancellor may be one of the best secondary players in all the NFL. The Seahawks can still win this porous division, but they will probably only win 10 games. They still have a very stout defense, which will keep them in games, but the offense is not as good as some will lead you to believe, and they will continue to regress. Also, Pete Carroll is not as good a coach as some writers think he is.

Come back tomorrow for the next four teams.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. His dislike for the Seahawks is legendary, but he will still give credit where it is due. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Ty Watches the Eric Andre Show: Season Four Premier

I do watch other TV shows besides "Bar Rescue", and one of those shows is the "Eric Andre Show". The fourth season premiered this past Friday, and it was glorious, hilarious, weird, bizarre and everything I was hoping it would and could be. This show has always been weird, but I'm a big Eric Andre fan, so I expect as much. I got really into this show about a year ago, and I watched the first three seasons in a week. Each episode is only 11 minutes long, so it was easy. I also love the fact that Hannibal Burress is his co host, and he is the perfect foil for Eric Andre.

The fourth season premiere started a little different from most seasons. Each episode starts out with Andre destroying the set, sometimes beating the band members up along the way. This season started with Andre sitting in his chair, looking exhausted. Then, when the music started, he was flung around the studio, attached to wires, and proceeded to destroy the set that way. He was an unwilling participant in this destruction. I know that it was fake, but it was still funny. After they replaced all the things he broke, Burress appeared and did his usual deadpan stuff. Then, a newish wrinkle in the show, Andre did a monologue. But, this time around, he acted as if it wasn't his choice. It seemed that Adult Swim was forcing him to do it. He even got shocked by a shocker at one moment, then they cut away to happy pictures of Andre. I loved all the jokes that made it seem like Andre did not want to do this.

After the insanity of the intro, the show cut away with their usual still frame and the words " we will be right back...". After the little break, Andre introduced his first guest, the rapper T.I. The interview immediately went off the rails, as it is supposed to. Andre asked uncomfortable questions that T.I. did not want to answer. Then, Burress tried some rapping that was purposefully terrible. Then, Kraft Punk showed up, that is a Daft Punk impersonation, except the helmet is made of Kraft mac and cheese. Eric Andre and Burress berated Kraft Punk right in front of T.I., forcing him off the stage. Then, a guy dressed like a zombie appeared from the ground, and T.I. kicked him in the face.

Once this insanity was complete, they cut away to one of the many side segments they do during the show. The segments on this episode ranged from, Andre appearing to be very hurt, riding on roller blades, asking people if they knew where the Sprite headquarters were so he could become the pitchman. Andre also rode a bike through a glass window, pretending to be a Chinese food bike delivery man. One of the other segments was Andre and a friend dressed as a horse for a segment called "Horsin Around", where they interview people on the street as a horse, but the interview quickly turned to a fight after Andre accused the back half of the horse of trying to put a finger in his butt. All the segments were very weird and very funny.

Once T.I. had enough and left, it happens with all the guests, they had "Dance Moms" host, Abby Lee Miller. She is a monster, and when Andre asked her about being abusive, she quickly changed the subject, but they wouldn't stop there. They pushed her, and then the interview, once again, went off the rails. A drone flew in hot dogs for Andre to eat. Burress left the stage, destroying a shelf along the way. They ignored Miller, much to my delight. She eventually asked if she could leave.

To end the show, they had the band American Authors on. They played their hit song, "Best Day of My Life", but Andre made them perform it as a human centipede. It was weird and disgusting and just what I expect from "The Eric Andre Show".

I'm so pumped for this show being back on air. I will update each episode on Monday, so come back next week for the next update.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He used to destroy his laptop after every blog post, then he learned that laptops did not grow on trees. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: Cool Summer Breeze Edition

Welcome to day 5 of my NFL countdown. We are finally past the mediocre half of teams in the NFL, and we are now going to be getting to teams with real shots at making the playoffs, and advancing fairly far. For the most part, if not all of them, the rest of these teams will be .500, or much, much better. We are finally at some good teams. On with the countdown.

Coming in at number 16, I have the New York Jets. The Jets were almost going to be on the earlier part of my countdown, but they signed Ryan Fitzpatrick to a one year deal at the very last moment before I started my notes for this list. Now, Fitzpatrick is not an other worldly QB, but he is decent. He set Jets passing records last year, and he is a whole hell of a lot more liked and reliable than Geno Smith. You never hear of anyone punching Fitzpatrick so hard that they break his jaw. He goes in and does his job, and he has gotten better the longer he has been in the NFL. I think Fitzpatrick is a pretty decent QB to lead what could be a playoff bound Jets team. At receiver they have two very good targets in Eric Decker and the wonderful Brandon Marshall. Decker goes over the middle and makes the circus catches, but Brandon Marshall is the far superior pass catcher on this team. He catches everything that comes his way, he is tall and he is fast. Brandon Marshall is a great, great football player. They absolutely upgraded their running game by signing Matt Forte. He is going to make opponents respect the run game, and the pass game will benefit. He is also a very good pass catcher coming from the backfield. I like this addition a lot. The offensive is good too. The Jets also have a pretty good defense as well. Muhammed Wilkerson is a very good d lineman. Leonard Williams is a fast defensive end, who can wreak havoc in the backfield. David Harris is still one of the most steady linebackers in all of the NFL. And Darelle Revis is one of, if not the, best cover corners in all of football. The Jets are a team on the rise, and they could be a big factor this year. I think they will be pretty decent, but they will also blow games because that's what they do. The Jets will be 10-6 and may push their way into the playoffs.

At number 15, I have the Buffalo Bills. Is this the year that the Bills finally take that next step? Is this the year they win, or are near the top of their division? Is this the year they put it all together? They just might. I'm actually a pretty big fan of Tyrod Taylor at QB. He seems to almost always make the right decision. He uses his legs when necessary, throws the ball to the right receiver, and throws it away when the play breaks down. LeSean McCoy, when healthy, is a great running back. He is the focal point of the offense, and that is the way it should be. He is great at running the ball, and a very good receiver out of the backfield. Sammy Watkins is a star in the making at receiver, they just have to get him the ball more. He is so dynamic with the ball in his hands, and he is an awesome football player. The o line, while not great, is serviceable. Sure, they lost Mario William, but they have Shaq Lawson to replace him. They also have guys like Reggie Ragland, Stephon Gilmore and Marcell Dareus on their defense. The Bills may be the team that takes the most advantage of the Brady's four game suspension. They have the players that have the know how and the goods to come out of the gates hot and challenge the Patriots. This may be one of the better teams that Rex Ryan has had the ability to coach. But, Rex Ryan is what is holding this team back. He is just not that good of a head coach. Because of Ryan, I think the Bills will go 10-6, but they have the players to be 12-4, or even 13-3.

At number 14, I have the team from Washington. They are the only team in their god awful division that can win double digit games. They have Kirk Cousins back, who proved that he may be a decent NFL QB. He is another guy that doesn't try to make miracle plays, he usually makes the right play. He can check down to other receivers, he will throw the ball away, and he will run when called on to. I think he is making a big mistake by betting on himself and not signing a long term deal, but we will see. At running back, they have some good guys. I really like Matt Jones. He is a good, big and durable back. He is very competent. Then, they have a plethora of good receivers. Guys like Desean Jackson, stretches the field with his speed, Pierre Garcon, great possession receiver, Santana Moss, old, but reliable and rookie Josh Doctson, who won't be counted on as the top threat, but will make some plays. They also signed Vernon Davis this off season, and I like that a lot. He is a great safety blanket for all the QB's he's played for. Then, on defense, they have decent d lineman and linebackers, but they have D'Angelo Hall, and they signed Josh Norman, who may be the best defensive back in all of the NFL. That is huge for Washington, because they will play the Giants twice, and they now have a corner that can shutdown Odell Beckham JR. The Washington defense is good. This team has all the tools to repeat, and repeat as division winners with ease. I think they do that to the tune of 11-5. They will feast on the teams in their division. They may get 8 of their 11 wins from their division alone.

At number 13, I have the Houston Texans. Now, this team is all about their defense. I think their defense could win a lot of games for them this year. They will have a lot of games that will finish 10-7 or 14-10, and they will win those because their defense is so good. But, I will talk about the offense first. Sure, they signed Brock Osweiler away from Denver, but I don't think he is as good as others think he is. But, the caveat, he is playing with a defense that is almost, but not really, as good as Denver's. They have similar defenses, so Osweiler won't have to do to terribly much on offense. They also signed Lamar Miller after letting Arian Foster walk. Miller is a decent running back, and he will put up similar numbers to what Foster has done the past few years. At receiver they have the awesome DeAndre Hopkins. I know he is in a contract situation right now, but they will figure that out, he is too important to this team. But, outside of the excellence that is Hopkins, they are thin at wide out. Will Fuller is fine, but not a real big threat. They have an okay o line as well. But, this team is not about offense. Their defense is stout, led by JJ Watt. There is no denying  his greatness, he is going to go down as one of the best of all time. They also have Jadeveon Clowney, who is due to have a big year, and Vince Wilfork, who is one of the best nose guards that has ever played. They have some great linebackers, even though some have been suspended for using steroids. Brian Cushing is said steroid user, but he is a good linebacker. I also like Whitney Mercilus. He has gotten better every year in the pros. Charles James and Quintin Demps are pretty decent defensive backfield players, they just don't get shine because their d line is so great. Houston should take over that division away from the Colts, but I don't know if Bill O'Brien is the coach to do that. He has held this team back since he was picked to coach them. I still think they are above .500, but I don't think they will supplant the Colts just yet. I like this team a lot, but I think they will finish 9-7, but it will be the most competitive 9-7 in all of football.

Come back next week for the rest of my countdown.

Ty 

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Want to know what Ty has to say about the Olympics? Check out the new X Millennial Man Podcast premiering tomorrow. Ty has a twitter, go follow him @tykulik.

Another Great Show from Louis CK

The mic had some funny behind it last night

Last night I had the pleasure of seeing Louis CK live at the Scottrade Center here in Saint Louis. This review is going to be short and sweet because I don't want give away any of his bits, jokes or stories, because everyone needs to do themselves a favor and see him live in you ever have the chance. He owned the stage for over 90 minutes last night. The upper level was closed down, but the rest of the arena was filled, and he had us all in the palm of his hands for his whole set. His set was all fresh material as well. I'm a huge fan, he's my favorite comedian working right now, and I have seen every special, but last night, I hadn't heard one single joke. It was awesome. It's kind of like seeing a band two nights in a row, but the set list is completely different. That is always a treat, and so is the fact that CK does new material on every tour. He is an absolute genius. Like I said, I don't want to give away bits, but he had some great stories about trying the finest things in life, Matthew Mcconaughy, old people dying, his kids, public schools, all of it was just incredible. The way he moves on stage, the very little, but very necessary movements with bits, is second to none. He can play arenas and have the absolute attention of the entire audience. I didn't hear people talking around me. No one was on their cell phones. Very few people got up from their seats during his set. It was pure comedy gold.

The three openers, Joe List, Joe Machi and Rachel Feinstein were all very good as well, and they all only did about 10 minutes each. It was a great appetizer to what was a great meal of comedy. Everything about this show was just perfect last night.

I have seen CK before, but I brought my dad with me because he is getting into stand up much later in his life, and there were times that I looked at him and he was laughing harder than I was. Please do yourselves a favor and go see Louis CK live if you have the chance. If you are a lover of stand up comedy, you have to see him live. He is the best stand up working right now, and I don't see him slowing down any time soon. Thank you so much for such a great show last night Mr. CK, and I cannot wait until you come back. Epic show and a great night.

Go see Louis CK.

Ty 

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Will you be performing in St. Louis, tell us about it and Ty will come to your show. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: Cold Beer on a Warm Christmas Morning Edition

Day four of my NFL preview. We finally have, at least one team, that I think will be right at .500, or slightly above. These next four teams are either regressing or taking a big step forward. I have a feeling that one of the teams I mentioned today, a lot of the readers will think I'm nuts, but I have a lot of hope. We are finally getting to some decent teams. Okay, enough preamble, let's get to it.

At number 20, I have my biggest shocker, possibly in my whole countdown, the Jacksonville Jaguars. I don't know what it is about this team, but I think they are on their way to becoming hyper competitive. I have liked what they have done the past couple of years, and I know they had a chance to win their division last year, but that division was a joke. But, I have a feeling they could really become a threat in that division sooner rather than later. First off, I think Blake Bortles is on the verge of becoming an upper level QB. He is never going to be elite (ed note: like Joe Flacco), but he is becoming more than just a game manager. He is starting to throw the long ball, and instead of just managing the game, he is starting to look like he can win some games for this team. He was a huge fantasy pick up for me last year too. I wasted a fourth round pick on Peyton Manning, but I feel like I struck gold with my 12th round pick of Bortles. He is going to become very good this season. Bortles also has 2 up and coming receivers that really blew up last year, and I see more good things from them in the future. Allen Hurns and Allen Robinson are going to become pro bowlers and upper echelon NFL receivers. They are fast, have great hands, run excellent routes and get to the right spot almost every time. Then, if he can stay healthy, Julius Thomas is one of the better tight ends in the league. He's big, has good hands, and since he is a former college basketball player, he is good at "boxing" out defenders and getting to balls other tight ends usually have no chance at. At running back, they have one of the better Alabama products in TJ Yeldon. He has great patience, looks for open holes and runs fast, but more importantly, hard. He could be the one Alabama back that can turn into a formidable pro. Their offensive line in commendable as well. On defense, if they can get some of the young guys they have on the field, they could be halfway decent. The defense will still be the problem for a year or two, but when guys like Dante Fowler, Myles Jack and Jalen Ramsey get their feet wet, they could be very good. I really like what the Jaguars are doing, but they may still be a year or two away, but they are coming. I say they go 7-9 this year, and that would be huge for them. They are going to be highly competitive this season.

At number 19, I have the Baltimore Ravens. Talk about a team that could not catch a break last year. Injuries and poor QB play really did them in. They do have good players at the skill positions, but Joe Flacco is not that good (ed note: not elite?). He's too error prone and makes the worst mistakes at the worst time. But, they do have Steve Smith and Breshad Perriman at receiver. Those guys are both good, and Steve Smith, who is old, has seemed to only have gotten better with age. At running back, after the entire Ray Rice situation, he's a monster, they have Justin Forsett, who I think is very good. He can get to the holes and rack up yardage pretty quick. Dennis Pitta is still there at tight end, so they still have a reliable safety blanket. Their defense is still good, but they have suffered attrition. Terrell Suggs is still there, but he may be the lone holdover from their Super Bowl win on defense. CJ Moseley, Jimmy Smith and Elvis Dumervil are all very good, and they signed Eric Weddle for next to nothing after the Chargers let him walk. Baltimore is bound for a turnaround, they are too good of a team with a very good head coach, but they unfortunately are in a division with the Steelers and Bengals, who I will get to next week, and that will keep them in third place. But, they are my first .500 team, because I think they will finish 8-8.

At number 18, I have the New York Giants. The Giants are one of the most annoying teams in all of football, but they seem to be bad one year, then good the next. This season comes after a very mediocre season from them. Odell Beckham, right behind Julio Jones, may be the next best receiver in all of football. He makes some of the greatest catches in the game, and he is a very hard guy to cover. They also have Victor Cruz, who is still good, despite being hurt almost all of last season. Rashard Jennings is a decent running back, and so is Shane Vereen. The problem with the offense is Eli Manning. He is an interception machine, and he makes so many ill conceived throws. Yeah, he has 2 Super Bowl rings, but it wasn't because of him. Their defense has the ability to be good, but they do make a lot of mistakes. Jason Pierre-Paul is an excellent pass rusher, but he also blew half his hand off playing with fireworks, so who knows if he will ever be the same again. Olivier Vernon is pretty good, so maybe he will become the new and improved version of Pierre-Paul. The linebackers are okay, and the secondary is ho hum. Their d line is where it's at for them. They also mercifully let Tom Coughlin go, but their hire of Ben McaDoo is very uninspired. The Giants play in a terrible division, and they could conceivably win with a 8-8 record, but I think they will finish at 7-9. 

My final team today, coming in at number 17, is the team I dislike the most, the Dallas Cowboys. The Cowboys are so incredibly overrated, it's disgusting. They have a very good team on paper, but they have proven that stuff doesn't matter. Tony Romo is the most overrated QB of all time, hands down. No one has ever been given so much credit for doing nothing other than being the QB of the cowboys. He always chokes in the playoffs, he always makes crucial mistakes, he cannot stay healthy, why do people think he is elite? He is so far from elite, it's preposterous. I'd rather have Eli Manning, Joe Flaco, almost any QB on any team I've already mentioned on this countdown before I'd take Romo. Romo stinks. They do have a good receiver in Dez Bryant, but he is always fighting with coaches and teammates and he can't seem to stay away from trouble off the field. Jason Witten is good, but old, and kind of overrated himself. Their running game in virtually nonexistent since DeMarco Murray left. I also don't buy the Ezekial Elliot hype. He played in a spread offense in college, and those guys don't translate well to the NFL. He may also be a girlfriend abuser with the stories that came out a few weeks ago. The defense played out of their minds two years ago, but they returned to their mediocre form last year. Guys can't stay healthy or out of trouble. Sure, they released that monster Greg Hardy, but they still have head cases like Rolando McClain on their roster. They also have oft injured guys like Sean Lee in their linebacking corp. The Cowboys aren't very good, but they are in the same division as the Giants, Eagles and Washington, so a bad record could very easily win the division. I think the Cowboys will find their way, somehow, to 8-8.

Come back tomorrow for my next four teams and a review of the Louis CK show I'm going to tonight.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He just does not see the little things Romo does to make the Cowboys great. At least that is what the Head Editor thinks. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: Day Old Donuts Edition

On to day three of my NFL preview. The next four teams are much better than the previous 8, but these teams have, at best, a slight chance of finishing at or above .500. Some were great a few years ago, others have potential, and some, they just haven't been up to snuff. Anyway, on with the countdown.

Coming in at number 24, I have the Atlanta Falcons. Man, this team is so, so much better on paper than they actually perform on the field. They should be at, or near the top of their division every season, but they, one way or another, always find a way to shoot themselves in the feet. They throw crucial pick sixes, fumble at inopportune times, or can't get that last stop that they need. Let's look at the offense first. They have, since Calvin Johnson may actually be retired, the best receiver in all of football in Julio Jones. Jones catches everything gets open in the smallest of cracks, is faster than almost everyone on the field, and has been very durable. But, after Jones, it gets a little suspect. Sure, Devonta Freeman exploded on the scene last year, becoming one of the best fantasy pick ups ever, but he faded at the end of the year, and I wonder if he was a one season wonder. I hope he's good, because I really like his game, but time will tell. Outside of Julio Jones, they don't have much at receiver. Roddy White is gone, and to take is place are guys like Muhammed Sanu and Devin Fuller. Those guys aren't, and probably don't have the potential to be, household names. Then, there is the conundrum that is Matt Ryan. He should be a great QB, but he seems more average to mediocre. Sure, he has some big passing numbers, but that is because of Julio Jones, not Matt Ryan. And this whole "Matty Ice" nonsense needs to stop. Yeah, he may have kept his cool under pressure in college, but he is an interception machine in the pros. He tries to fit passes into windows that no QB can. This may be the last we see of the Matt Ryan experience in Atlanta, and that maybe for the best. He just hasn't figured it out yet, and I don't think he will. On defense, they have big name guys, but no results. They can throw a Vic Beasley or a Courtney Upshaw or Adrian Clayborn out there, but these guys are stopping anyone. The Falcons give up a ton of points. They just don't have the necessary guys to truly stop anyone. Unfortunately Falcons fans, I think this team is a 6 win team again, blowing a lot of games late.

At number 23, I have the Miami Dolphins. Now, first things first, they could make me look like an idiot by making noise and leading that division after the first four games due to Tom Brady's suspension, but will they? I don't know. That is what is so frustrating about the Dolphins. I legitimately want to like them, but they are so hard to get behind. They have really good to great players on both sides of the ball, but they have nothing to show for it. This is the make or break year for Ryan Tannehill. I know they paid him a bundle, but if he doesn't perform this season, they may look to move on. Tannehill can't beat the good teams, and he plays down to lesser opponents. It's maddening watching someone who could be great play so poorly. Then, they have excellent receivers like Jarvis Landry and Davante Parker, but they are both under sized, and they have Tannehill throwing them the ball. That does not make for a great combination. I feel really bad for Jarvis Landry because he is very, very good. They went out and signed Arian Foster, who is great, but he simply cannot stay healthy. The offensive line made the best pick in the draft, grabbing Laremy Tunsil, but he is a rookie and it is always tough sledding for rookies. Then, on defense, they have guys like Ndamakong Suh, Cameron Wake, Kiko Alonso, Dion Jordan and they signed Mario Williams. Williams and Suh are household names, but they were both very subpar last year. Cameron Wake was hurt all year, so we will see how he comes back. Alonso and Jordan are young and fast, but very unproven. They have the names, but no results. Like I said, I could be way off, but I just don't see them taking the four game advantage because of their QB and running back situations. My gut tells me they finish 7-9 this year.

At number 22, I have the LA Rams, the team ripped away from Saint Louis so that douchebag Stan Kroenke could bet another million or so bucks. I was very high on this Rams team last year. I thought they had the potential to sneak into the playoffs. But, they under performed once again. They could not get anything going on offense, no matter how great Todd Gurley was. I love Gurley. I think he has the potential to be a big, big star. But, the rest of the offense, not so great. They will be starting number one overall pick Jared Goff at QB this year. You all know how I feel about rookies in the NFL, and I think Goff is going to be a major bust. He was another guy, a la Jay Cutler, that didn't really win in college, but for some reason, NFL scouts love him. sure he's tall, but his arm isn't great, and it will take him awhile to learn and deal with the speed in the NFL. His receivers are all downright crummy. I thought Tavon Austin would be good, I was wrong. Wes Welker is there, but he is old and has been concussed far too much. Other than those 2, it's all rookies or guys looking to make a team. Their offensive line is so so. Their defense should be all world, but they haven't quite put it together yet. Aaron Donald is a stud though. That guy is great. They have some good defensive backs, guys like Trumaine Johnson and EJ Gaines, but they haven't put it all together yet. They have good linebackers too, but they just haven't shown up fully yet. The defense can still be great, as I said, I love Donald and Quinton Coples and Mark Barron, but they just aren't elite yet. The defense will keep them in some games, maybe even win a few for them, but that offense, when opponents stack the box with 8, 9 and sometimes 10 guys, will sputter out and be ineffective. They could go .500, but I see 6-10 or 7-9 as more likely.

My final team of the day, coming in at number 21, I have the New Orleans Saints. This team was once, not that long ago, a perennial Super Bowl contender. but, Drew Brees has only gotten older, more hurt and not as efficient as he once was. Brees is a sure fire hall of famer, and probably top 15 QB of all time, but his best days are behind him. Then, to make matters worse, they let Jimmy Graham go last year and now they released Marques Colston. Those two were his safety blankets. He could rely on them more than anyone else, and they almost always came through for the team. Now, Brees is throwing to guys like Brandin cooks and Michael Thomas. sure, they are good, but they are not Jimmy Graham or Marques Colston. Their running game is average. Mark Ingram is another in a long line of Alabama backs that don't produce much of anything in the pros. Then his backup, CJ Spiller, he was cut from the Bills last year, so that should tell you all you need to know. The offensive line is fine, but not great. The Saints defense is an absolute dumpster fire. This team gave up over 50 points at least twice last season. They cannot stop anyone, Eli Manning included. They have no one that is, or ever has been, competent on defense. That's the biggest issue, they have to try and outscore teams, and that is not a recipe for winning in the NFL. The Saints have become a bummer team to watch. They are getting older at skill positions, mainly QB, and their defense is utterly atrocious. They will be lucky to be 6-10 next year.

That's it for today, come back tomorrow for the next four teams.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He still wears his vintage Tony Banks St. Louis Rams jersey to remember the bad days. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: The Hot Garbage Edition

Okay, now that you have finished reading my "Bar Rescue" update, I'm back with day 2 of my NFL countdown. Let's get to some more teams that I don't think are going to be very good.

Coming in at number 28, I have the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. You may say, but they looked good on offense last year and they were in a ton of games until the very end last year, why so low? Well, I'll tell you why. Yes, they have a good offense and yes, Jameis Winston looked much better than I thought he would last year, but they still have no real running game, I don't care how good the Muscle Hamster was a few years ago, and their offensive line is not that good. They seem to have a decent enough QB in Winston, who should only get better the longer he is in the league, and they have very good receivers in Vincent Jackson and Mike Evans, but that is where the good stuff ends. They have no real threat at running back and the line cannot block for long enough. Their defense is not very good either. They, like all the teams I have mentioned thus far, cannot pressure the QB or stop the run. Their secondary is not very good either. Then, they inexplicably fired Lovie Smith after one season. They did not hire a coach that I think will be better than Smith, and a lot of people agree with me on this. Smith did not get a fair shot. He could have made the defense competent. He could have had them close to 8 wins this year. Unfortunately, that will not happen. While I like some parts of the offense, I dislike everything about their defense and front office. Looks like another 4-12 season is on the horizon for the Buccaneers.

At number 27, I have the Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles stink. They do not have a decent QB. They gave up on DeMarco Murray. They have no receiving threats. Their defense is no good. Their front office makes the Cowboys front office look competent. This team will not be good. Sam Bradford will probably start the year as QB 1, but he will either get hurt, or underperform, and then it will be the Carson Wentz show. Rookies do not do well in the NFL, and Wentz will be no exception. He has no one to throw to, and I don't think he is as good as some other people think he is. The Eagles reached big time on this pick. Their defense is very bad as well. They have no one, and I mean no one that is very good at all on that side of the ball. They will not be able to stop many teams, and much like the 49ers, they will not score too many points. This is a very tough time to be an Eagles fan because of what the now fired Chip Kelly did to this team. He traded away a ton of good players for some not as good players and the team has suffered, and will continue to for some time. I'd be shocked if they win 6 games, that is why I have them finishing 5-11.

At number 26, I have the Detroit Lions. This is kind of painful to me for a few reasons. When I was a kid, the Lions were my team. I loved Barry Sanders and Wayne Fontes and Hermann Moore. They were fun to root for. As I grew up, I realized the Packers were way better, but as I kid, I was a Lions fan. It's also a bummer because I have a lot of family members that are still Lions fans. Sorry, but the Lions just don't appear to be very good. First off, they lost their best offensive player since Barry Sanders this offseason in Calvin Johnson. He retired, but I still wont believe it until I do not see him out on the field. Without Johnson, their only receiving threat is Golden Tate. Yikes. The running backs aren't that good either. Reggie Bush is gone, so Ameer Abdullah will be the feature back. Again, yikes. He fumbles way too much and he can't take a hit. At QB, Matthew Stafford will prove how mediocre he truly is without Calvin Johnson. He will have to actually throw into tight windows and put the ball in his receivers hands. He doesn't have the luxury to just chuck the ball up and hope that Johnson comes down with it. The offense is going to take a big, big step back. The Lions are the first team on this list that I like on defense, but it won't matter. They will be on the field way too much because the offense will be going three and out 90 percent of the time. The defense will also continue to shoot itself in the foot with personal fouls and penalties in general. The Lions are going to take a huge step back. They will only win 4 or 5 games.

At number 25, we have the San Diego Chargers. Yeesh, this team is old and oft injured. Phillip Rivers has been in the league for what seems like one hundred years now, and he has very little to show for it. He is an okay QB, but he wouldn't be one of the first 10 to 12 QB's I'd take if I started a team today. He is way too erratic, and its only gotten worse the longer he has been in the league. His targets are old and hurt all the time now too. Antonio Gates was once great, but he seems to be a person that takes performance enhancing drugs, i.e., his suspension at the start of last year, and he gets hurt way too much. Stevie Jones is already out for the year after tearing his ACL yesterday. I don't know any other receivers on this team. At running back, they have Melvin Gordon Jr, a bust in the making, Ryan Matthews, cannot stay healthy, and Danny Woodhead, what good is he if he doesn't play for the Patriots. Not good choices. The offensive line is fine, but nothing to write home about. It also doesn't matter when Rivers is chucking passes to no one in particular. The defense isn't great either. They wouldn't resign Eric Weddle for some stupid reason, and other than him, they had no one that would set the NFL on fire. They will stop the teams worse than them, but the teams better, there's 25 of them, will score at will on this team. The Chargers are regressing, and they are doing it quickly. They are a lot like the Bears, in so, until they get rid of Rivers, they will continue to get worse. I'd be surprised if the Chargers did not go 5-11 this year.

That's it for today. Come back tomorrow for teams 24, 23, 22, 21. We are getting ever so close to some actual decent teams.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He has some hope, fantasy football hope, for a few players on the teams listed above. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Ty Watches Bar Rescue: Gallopin' Goose Edition

Tuesdays mean it's time to talk about last Sunday's Bar Rescue

This past Sunday, Jon Taffer and his crew visited another bar that they felt the responsibility to "rescue". The crew went to a bar in Arizona called the Gallopin' Goose. This is an actual historical landmark bar because it is the first place that country music legend, one of the few good country musicians in my opinion, Waylon Jennings, first performed live. This was a for real bar. I was kind of shocked that they did a rescue of a place that a lot of people know about.

As the episode wore on, we come to find out that it wasn't so much a "bar" rescue as it was a relationship rescue. Sure, Taffer's team had to replace the bar top, there was grime everywhere, the kitchen needed to be cleaned and the owner was losing a ton of money, but that was all standard stuff for any episode of "Bar Rescue". What Taffer quickly realized was that he was, not only going to have to rescue the bar, but rescue a broken relationship as well.

These are some of my favorite episodes. I love that Taffer thinks he is some kind of marriage counselor. He spouts off cliché line after cliché line to try and repair these marriages. This one was particularly tough because the guy that owned the bar, he very quickly married his first wife, they had a baby, she got pregnant with their second child, but while she was pregnant, this scumbag cheated on her with a bar patron and got that lady pregnant as well. This did not sit well with the people in this small town. This was when the bar started to lose it's customer base and money. This was when this guy, who I assume was already pretty trashy, became complete trash.

The owner of Gallopin' Goose is, as I stated earlier, a real scumbag. His ex wife moved away from him because of this, taking their 2 children with her. This also really tore the guy apart. He started drinking more heavily and stopped taking care of himself and the bar. His ex wife eventually moved back, but she then found herself raising this other child of his. They never said what happened to this kids real mom, but the owner's ex wife now had three kids she had to raise. When they got back to the original timeline, Taffer had the ex wife as his spy in the car, and while watching the bar being poorly run, we also saw the owner talking shit about his ex wife to the other employees. He was complaining that she was never there and that he had to do all the work. Never mind the fact that she was taking care of three kids, one of which was not biologically hers, but she also came to the bar whenever she could to help out. This lady was being very poorly treated by the owner. He was a real big dickhead.

When Taffer comes in to confront him, he immediately rips into to him. He calls him a failure and a lowlife, classic Taffer. He talks to him as if he is a child. He threatened to kick this dude's ass, and this guy was way, way bigger than Taffer. It was all classic Taffer, and it was all hilarious. The two of them eventually cooled off, and the owner started to take Taffer's advice. He was very willing to listen to all of his suggestions. He was even willing to take Taffer's "expert" advice in relationship counseling. It was all very calm and quiet after their first encounter.

The Gallopin' Goose switched over to a whiskey bar. This worked very well in their favor. They also became an all day breakfast food place. Apparently, they had a successful breakfast buffet on Sunday's, so they decided to do this 7 days a week. Then, in classic "Bar Rescue" fashion, Taffer had a sit down with the ex wife and the owner, explained to them why they needed to reconcile, full of clichés again, and of course, at the end, they seemed to be back together again. Taffer was thrilled by this.

There was a very weird moment late in the episode as well. Taffer turned the bar back into a live country music venue as well, he did not change the name because of the history, and he invited one of his favorite country bands to play at the reopening. I didn't catch the name of the band, but they sounded terrible. The best part was that at one point, the band was playing and the camera turned towards Taffer, and he was bobbing his head and very creepily smiling at the lead singer. It was all very weird, but also exactly what I would expect from "Bar Rescue".

This episode has been the highlight of the season so far. It was very good and everyone was very polite and kind, for the most part. Seek this episode out of you haven't seen it yet. Come back next week for my review of the next episode.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Sometimes when he needs a pick up, Ty blasts Waylon Jennings for all the neighbors to hear. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: The Dumpster Fire Edition

Football is right around the corner people. The preseason starts next Sunday, and the regular season is a little over a month away. For the next 8 days I will countdown the teams in the NFL, 4 teams a day, going from worst to best, in my opinion. On day nine, I will do my postseason picks, including the Super Bowl winner, and I will also pick all my award winners. I will stick to some of my other, regular blogs, i.e., the "Bar Rescue" updates and some greatest American band picks, but for the most part, the next two weeks will be NFL heavy. I will also do a college football preview at the end of next week. So, hopefully everyone is ready for some football talk, because I'm ready to watch some football. I will break down the teams to the best of my knowledge and tell you why I have them where I have them in my rankings. 

Okay, let's get to the countdown.

Coming in at number 32, the worst team in the league this season will be the Cleveland Browns. The Browns are an absolute dumpster fire. They did some good things this offseason. They fired their old coach, they dumped Johnny Manziel, finally, they hired what seems to be a decent head coach, but other than that, this team is not very good. Their defense is very, very below average. They have no one on that side of the ball that can strike fear in any opponent. Their defensive line gets no pressure, their linebackers are mediocre and their secondary is subpar. They will give up a ton of points. Unfortunately for their defense, their offense won't be able to put up too many points. They have an okay receiver in Josh Gordon, but he hangs out with Johnny Manziel, he's been suspended multiple times for violating the leagues drug rules and, when he is in there, he doesn't have a very good QB throwing him the ball. The only 2 QB's worth anything on their roster are Josh McCown and Robert Griffin. McCown is not good enough to be most teams third string QB and we all know about Robert Griffin. He's a prima donna that cannot stay healthy and forced his way out of Washington. He had a great rookie year, but he has been oft injured and, when he is healthy, he has been pretty awful. They don't have any good running backs, so the run won't scare anyone. Their offensive line is subpar at best as well. The Browns stink. If they win 3 games this year, I'd be shocked. Hue Jackson is a good coach, but it is going to take some time before the Browns are anything close to an 8 or 9 win team. I say they finish 2-14 this year.

Coming in at number 31, I have the San Francisco 49ers. You may see that and think, they were a contender only 2 years ago, well, a lot has changed in 2 years. They put all their eggs in the Colin Kaepernick basket and he has proven to not be that good. He has no accuracy, cannot throw the deep ball and abandons plays way too early and relies on his legs too much. Then, people may say, well they hired Chip Kelly, way can't he turn the 49ers and Kaepernick around. First off, Kelly is not a good NFL coach. His zone read does not work in the very fast paced NFL. Chip Kelly is a college coach that somehow got two NFL jobs. He is not a competent NFL coach. They just lost their best receiver, Anquan Boldin, and they have no running game, Carlos Hyde is not that good. They lost all their good defenders a year ago to, mostly, retirement. This team can't score and they can't stop anyone. They are only slightly, very slightly, better than the Browns. I think the 49ers will go 3-13 or 4-12. They are not very good and until they overhaul the whole team, and get a new head coach, they will continue to be bad.

Coming in at number 29, I have the Tennessee Titans. I have liked what they have done in the draft the past couple of years, but Mariota is still only a second year player and he has little to no weapons around him. The Titans receivers are good, but very young and very unproven. They still need a few years. The backs are mediocre, but they can get better. The offensive line is not very good, save for Taylor Lewan, but he still gets far too many personal foul penalties. They have decent tight ends, but when the QB has very little time to find them, it doesn't matter. The Titans defense is not very good. Even when they play bad teams, like the 49ers and Browns, they still give up 20 to 30 points. This team also tries to run some kind of hybrid read option/west coast offense that looks very bad at times. Mariota still needs another year or two before he reaches his possible potential, as do the receivers and the backs. The defense needs to get a whole lot better before they are competitive. They can get better through the draft, which seems to be the way Titans are rebuilding right now. The Titans may win 5 games, but anymore than that would be a huge surprise to pretty much everyone, Titans fans included. I will give them the benefit of the doubt and say they finish 5-11.

At number 28, I have Mike Wilbon's favorite team, the Chicago Bears. This may surprise some people, the fact that I have the Bears this far down on my list, but they are a very, very bad football team. They let their best offensive weapon walk last year, Matt Forte, to the Jets. They have no good receivers. I don't care that they have names like Alshon Jeffrey and Kevin White, neither are that good. Hell, Kevin White didn't play a single snap last year because he got injured in camp. They don't have Martellus Bennett anymore, so they have no tight end threat. They got rid of Forte, as I mentioned earlier, and their consolation prizes are Jacquizz Rodgers and Jeremy Langford. Then they have one of the worst, most overrated, most annoying, most self inflating assholes at QB in Jay Cutler. I don't understand why people think he is a good QB. He didn't win in college. He has been very subpar in the pros. In fact, the lone time he has been to the playoffs, he got "hurt" and missed most of the Bears loss to the Packers. Jay Cutler may be the most overrated, non deserving players in the entire NFL. As long as he is the Bears QB, they will continue to be very mediocre on offense, especially since Matt Forte is gone. The Bears defense is not very good either. Sure, they signed Danny Treveathan away from Denver, but he will not turn this unit around on his own. They have no defensive line, and don't listen to the nonsense that has been coming out of Kyle Long's mouth recently, he is out of his mind. They can't pressure the QB and they can't stop the run. The linebacking unit, save for Treveathan, is subpar. The secondary in not good at all. The Bears are bad. The only reason they are ahead of the three teams before is, they always find some way to miraculously win a game or 2 that they should have no shot. They will either go 4-12 or 5-11. The Bears stink and they need a new QB.

That's it for today. Come back tomorrow for teams 28, 27, 26 and 25 and a "Bar Rescue" update.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. The teams he listed above would cause him to change away from the NFL RedZone network. These are teams with nothing worth watching. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

The Day After: Democratic National Convention Edition

The halls are empty, beware your front door

History has been made. Hillary Clinton is like the 40th woman to ever run for President of the United States. She follows in the grand footsteps of Victoria Woodhall, Lenora Fulani, and Roseanne Barr. I know about all of these other women because my Republican leaning friends on social media want everyone to know that Hillary is not making history. Republicans need to find anything that will take the spotlight away from the Democratic party. Plus, they have been playing the hate Hillary Clinton game for over two decades. Sorry to say, but all the Republican apologists out there are wrong. Hillary Clinton is the first women to ever be the nominee for President by a major political party. The former First Lady, US Senator, and Secretary of State is the first women ever who has a chance at actually winning the election. The Republican voter can continue to try and deny progress. The fact is that history was made in Philadelphia this week. A woman has a legitimate chance of becoming President of the United States.

Once the unpleasant affair with Debbie Wasserman Schultz was swept away, he 2016 Democratic National Convention was everything the Republican National Convention was not. The star power was real, and not filled with c listers from 30 years ago. The speakers talked about the growth and greatness of America. The candidate was not a suprise usurper, but someone who has been working to this moment for almost a decade. The defeated rival gave a full endorsement to the nominee. The four days in Philadelphia saw the Democratic Party celebrating their recent past, and getting ready to create a new future.

The speakers of the 2016 Democratic National Convention were the exact opposite of what was seen in Cleveland and the best of the GOP. It is clear that the Democratic Party is currently blessed with a group of great orators. Former President Bill Clinton can give a speech to thousands of people, and make each every one of those people feel like Bill is talking only to them. Current President Obama can build excitement like no other politician. Vice Presidential nominee Tim Kaine did his duty by attacking the bluster of Donald Trump. Vice President Joe Biden talked of personal tragedy, and the need to be a servant to the people. First Lady Michelle Obama used her place in history to talk about the evolution of American society. Khizr Khan, whose son died in Iraq protecting his squad, showed the backward looking GOP what being a 21st century American is all about. It was the best speech of either convention.

Late last night, Hillary Clinton walked out to engrave her name into the history books. Dressed in a white pantsuit, a clothing style owned by former Secretary of State, she took the stage and gave the most important speech of her career. Last week I showed dissapointment in the overly long, and incredibly gloomy Donald Trump speech, Clinton exceeded expectations with her address. I was worried that she could not deliver on the same level as all the other DNC speakers. Clinton is not known for giving many speeches in public. Yet for nearly an hour, Hillary Clinton laid out her plan, and knocked down her opponent. The GOP's nominee used hate and fear. Clinton used the words of Ronald Reagan and FDR. Trump said America was failing. Clinton said our greatness is still growing. The thing I kept thinking is that if this was a high school student council election, Clinton is the candidate that actual cares about student government, and Trump just calls out the football team (San Dimas high school football RULES). The goody goody always wins the election over the meathead. 

The dark cloud hanging over the Democratic National Convention was that of the Bernie Sanders supporters. After Ted Cruz used is time to not endorse his party'e nominee last week, many feared the Vermont Senator would do the same thing. Sanders enthusiastically endorsed Clinton, even to the misguided boos of his supporters. As the week went on, anytime someone referenced Sanders, the tv cameras would cut to the runner up looking quite disgruntled. The inept media kept trying to make it look like the Democratic Party was fracturing, and unity was not going to happen. Outside of a few ego filled protesters chanting during big speeches, the Sanders revolution fizzled like the Never Trumpers. In order to have a story, the press need a split party, like that of the GOP. Poor Fox News, and even venerable PBS, could never get that fight going. Lord did they try.

The long grueling primary season is officially at an end. Trump v Clinton: Dawn of an Ugly Presidential Race is now upon us. Battleground states will be terrific, until their not. The endless narrative of the Clinton scandals will occupy our television sets. The only thing I know at the end of July is that Trump will somehow make America great again, and Hillary Clinton will try to be the liberal icon Democrats have been waiting for since Mario Cuomo. Oh I also learned that the White House was built by some well fed slaves. Thanks Bill O'Reilly, your idiocy is the thing that never changes with each Presidential Election.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He would be happy to go on The O'Reilly Factor and tell confront Bill on his lack of historical knowledge and his lack of human feeling. Come on tough guy, contact us.