John Hodgman doesn't do your Normal Comedy Show, and that is Good

Boats + Maine = Comedy

Last night I went with a friend of mine to see comedian, podcaster, and actor John Hodgman at the Ready Room in St.Louis.

I didn't know what to expect from Hodgman's standup show. I knew, prior to the show, who he is. He's been a correspondent on "The Daily Show" for years. He appears on a television show I enjoy quite a bit on FXX called "Married". He has his own podcast, "Judge John Hodgman" and he appears on many other podcasts as a guest. And yes, almost everyone knows him as the PC in the old Apple Computers commercials. But, he just started his own standup tour, and like I said before, I didn't know what to expect. Everything he's done before has been a mishmash of comedy, drama and total absurdity. He was straight forward as the PC. He's a married guy that's sex crazed on "Married". On his podcast, he simply judges things. People give him two topics and he picks a winner, simple as that. When he's a guest on other podcasts, he's usually a glorified version of himself. On "The Daily Show", he's a smart ass street reporter.

That's what I expected going into last night, "The Daily Show" version of John Hodgman. And, he did deliver on that version, but his show was so much more. I was very pleasantly surprised at all the stories within the two main stories he told. He seemed to be more a humorist than a standup. That made me happy. Yes, he was his character from "The Daily Show" except more vulnerable. He told the audience that every story was 100 percent true, and we all believed him. It was different from other standup shows I go to in it's structure. The majority of standup comics tell stories or they have jokes that come at you nonstop. The only time most comedians stop is to let the laughter stop and then bam, they hit you with another joke. That's what I'm used to. Well, last night, John Hodgman was on stage for almost 90 minutes and he told two total stories. I'd never seen anything like this before. What made it so enjoyable to me was the fact that I was never bored. You'd think that if you only heard two full stories in 90 minutes you'd get bored, but that wasn't the case last night. And yes, he'd tell little mini jokes in the stories. He's a comic, comics tell jokes. But, he's not your typical standup. Like I said before, he's a humorist, as pretentious as that may sound.

His first story was about his summer home in Massachusetts. He regaled us with stories about taking trash to a dump and having to make up stories due to his own insecurities. We learned that he has two children that are at the age where their parents are too old to hang out with. He and comedic musician John Coulton are long time friends. He told us how the both of them got super high, went swimming in a river and made cairns. The best part of this story was that college students slowly drove past them, turned a corner and came back to where they were, Hodgman extremely frightened at this point, and were shocked that the two of them were hanging out in their small town. The college students were huge fans of both of them. There were many other stories and bits attached to this first story, and they were all great.

The second story was about his other summer home in Maine. It was at this point where I heard one of the funniest things in standup that I've ever heard. After telling us that he had a second summer home, he said "welcome to a night of white privilege comedy"! That was hilarious! He knew that it wasn't relatable, but he managed to find a way to make it absolutely hilarious. We got stories during his second part of his show about how sad and gloomy Maine is. He told us about a tourist shop that has all the trappings of your typical tourist shop. You couldn't use the restroom there, there was aisle after aisle of crappy toys and souvenirs and, of course, they sold fudge. I was happy to hear that he doesn't care for fudge because, "it's disgusting and looks like shit". His exact words and I couldn't agree more. I hate fudge. My favorite part of this part of the show was him talking about buying a boat. Another unrelatable story that he made very funny. He told us all about the maker of the boat and how he was a famous guy in the town they have their summer home in. Apparently this guy was a huge asshole and he only made 107 of these "peapod" boats. He told his wife that, just to have fun, they'd bid on the opening bid. The boat was being sold at auction. He asked around and the townspeople told him that the last boat sold for over 10,000 dollars. So, he figured opening bid was enough and someone would eventually outbid them. Well, the opening bid came in at 3,500 dollars and his wife raised the placard. But, no one else was bidding, much to Hodgman's dismay. Finally someone pushed the bid to 3,600 dollars and he thought they were in the clear. Not the case. Hodgman's wife was caught up in the auction and bid 3,700 dollars. After seven minutes of no one bidding, the boat was sold to them. So, now he owns a boat. The story he told of the townspeople congratulating him and his wife for how cheap they got the boat was very funny.

Just when we thought the show was over, Hodgman pulled out a ukulele and played two folk songs. Nothing humorous about the songs, just two sweet, very nice folk songs. And, my goodness does he have a very good singing voice. I was shocked and loved every second of how he ended his show. It was completely off the wall and super, super cool. Go out and see John Hodgman's Vacationland if he's coming anywhere close to you. It's not your typical standup show, but you will enjoy yourself.

I know I did.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the co host of the X Millennial Man podcast. It is funny how many comedy shows Ty attends. Follow him on twitter @tykulik.

What Do We Call a Device that is More than a Phone?

This is a phone. It does not fit in your pocket.

A device was patented by the United States Patent and Trademark Office in 1876 by Scottish immigrant, Alexander Graham Bell. Although there is a lot of dispute over who invented the electric telephone sparking the sequence of events which eventually became the phone we know of today, Bell is most commonly credited for it in the United States due to his patent. Certainly other key inventors and tinkerers of the day, such as Charles Bourseul, Antonio Meucci, Johann Philipp Reis, and Elisha Gray, are just as if not more praiseworthy as Bell was. Many more innovations since then have contributed to what we today refer to as “the phone” making all these inventors mere cogs in the machine that is and has been the technology revolution.

Prior to the transmission of voice signals the telephone was a term used in other inventions. This includes an invention by a captain named John Taylor who used a series of horns to communicate between sailing vessels in the fog and called the system The Telephone. Comparatively, many inventors who were working on devices that convert sound to electrical signals did not use the term telephone at all.

The term telephone is derived from the Greek word tēle which means “far” and the Greek word phōnē which means “voice”. Put together it means “distant voice”. I would say that the term is certainly something that refers to transmitting speech over long distances. The term we use today, “phone”, is merely a shortened version of original term and I think still refers to sending a voice over a distance.

The device that we commonly refer to as a phone does include a feature of sending voice over long distances. However, I think it is long overdue that we consider other ways to refer to the device since transmitting voice is far from the primary use of those devices.

There are some types of these devices which are more dedicated to the task of transmitting voice than others. Sometimes these devices are referred to as dumb phones or feature phones. I have no doubt that many users of those types of devices do primarily use them for voice communication. But even those have the capability of text and sometimes image or video communication. I know many users of those devices who communicate primarily in text as well. Therefore, I think that it is a misnomer to call these phones as well.

When it really comes down to it what we are talking about are computers. These devices are specialized computers with a cellular connection which can be used for voice, data, text messages, games, productivity applications, picture taking, navigating, picture taking, etc. These devices are just as much a camera as they are a phone. They are much more than a single feature. They are an extension of ourselves. A device that allows us have near constant ability to communicate in various ways with the world. A multi-tool, an electronic swiss army knife that allows us to do tasks that our biology does not inherently allow. It is so much more than simply a phone.

So the first question is: What do we call it instead? While I like the idea of “electronic multi-tool” or “electronic swiss army knife”, I doubt that it could be widely adopted if it required saying more than one or two words. Maybe that sounds like I am saying that humanity is lazy but I guess I am. We already use the term “phone” to refer to these devices and I doubt anyone will put forth the effort to both use a more appropriate term AND use more words. It just will not happen.

One term that I have pushed for in the past is “comm”. It is a device which is used to communicate in various ways. I thought it worked. I never got anyone else used to it though and eventually I gave up. Furthermore, I now realize that it does not encompass some of the other functions of the device. The tools such as navigation or picture taking are not fully encompassed by the term “comm”.

My favorite idea currently is actually an acronym. It is an acronym that has been used in the past for these devices before they turned into phones. Personal Digital Assistant shortened to PDA really fits the bill. I think that term describes exactly what these devices do for us. However, I am open to other ideas. Do you have a better term for the devices we commonly refer to as a phone? Lets share our ideas in the comments below.

Kirk Aug

Kirk writes about tech trends, science, and whatever else society wants to innovate next. He still does not know how to explain the save icon on a Word document, is it a piece of St. Louis style pizza? Follow Kirk on twitter @kirkaug.

The Greatest American Band Debate: The Sugarhill Gang

SeedSing is filled with music lovers. We can not agree on who is the best band from the States. The Greatest American Band Debate will be a regular feature where we discuss and compare bands who started in the good old USA. If you have any suggestions of bands we should debate Contact us seedsing.rdk@gmail.com

For Seedsing's Greatest American Band debate, I'm going to nominate a group based solely on one song.

That may sound weird, or even unfair, but this one song started a revolution of great, great music that, had these guys not put this song out, we may have never had. The band that I'm going to nominate today is Sugarhill Gang. We all know their famous song, "Rapper's Delight". This is the one song that I'm speaking of and will be the basis of my blog today. In 1979 three guys, Master Gee, Wonder Mike and the now deceased, Big Bank Hank, started a rap group in New Jersey. All three of them had their own rapping style, but combined, they made one of the most influential and greatest rap songs of all time. Without these three, and their producers and business people that were around them, we never would have gotten rap music. Some may argue with me and claim that Blondie's "Rapture" was the first rap song, but it's not. "Rapture" came out in the early eighties and "Rapper's Delight" came out in 1979. Blondie was not a rap group as well. Blondie was a rock group that happened to have Debra Harry "rap" on one song. It gained commercial success because Blondie was a great band and Debra Harry was very pretty. But, had "Rapture" been the stepping off point for rap music, we would've never gotten some of the greats that we now have or had. "Rapper's Delight" and Sugarhill Gang made rap accessible to everyone. This song crossed generations and races of all kinds. Talk to anyone you know, be they a fan of rap, rock, reggae, blues, jazz, any type of music and I guarantee they all know at least one line from "Rapper's Delight". This song is one of the greatest songs of all time. Not just rap, I'm talking any genre of music.

Sugarhill Gang was composed of the three guys I mentioned before. They were all free style rappers, but they didn't really know how to put their music on a record. In the late 70's, rap was not a thing. It hadn't been invented yet. Some producers heard what these guys were doing, and they wanted to put it on record so everyone could hear it. They just didn't know how to put music to what they were doing. Some genius decided to use a sample from a Chic song and the idea of sampling and rap was born. The Chic song they used was "Good Times". It had a constant beat that went throughout the whole song. The producers isolated this music and had the members of Sugarhill Gang put their rap verses to the music. "Rapper's Delight", and for all intents and purposes, rap music was born.

"Rapper's Delight" is, by far, the longest rap song that I've ever heard. It comes in at just around 8 minutes. How crazy is that?"! A rap song lasting for 8 minutes is unheard of, unless we're talking Wu Tang Clan which I'll write about on another day. The length of the song allowed each member to truly shine. We, the audience, got to hear these three emcees do their thing. They were incredible, and no one knew what to call this music. People were amazed at what these guys were doing. They brought the world and the US a new style of music. What made it even more crazy was the fact that there was no hook or chorus. When each rapper took his turn, they spoke the famous lyrics, "I said a hip hop, the hip to the hop you don't stop, rock the bang bang boogie, the up jump the boogity beat". Those are the first real verses of rap music ever recorded. This song was so popular, it was the first rap song to reach the Billboard Top 40. It was lightening in a bottle. 

I was born three years after the song came out, but "Rapper's Delight" was my ipso facto introduction to rap music. To hear what these three did was incredible. I didn't hear the song until the nineties, I was a teenager, but even back then, I understood the importance to rap music that this song had. Without this song, I would never had listened to Notorious B.I.G or Jay Z or A Tribe Called Quest or even rap groups like Outkast. You can go back and watch or read interviews with the vast majority of rappers and rap groups and they will all cite Sugarhill Gang and "Rapper's Delight" being one of their gateways to rap music.

As I said before, this song crosses many, many generations. The first person to tell me and have me listen to this song was my father. He's 32 years older than I am. I have a three year old son and I will put "Rapper's Delight" on in the car and he will mumble the lyrics I wrote before. So, just between three people, myself, my father and my son, we all know the song. That's a 64 year old, a 32 year old and a 3 year old. Tell me one other song that does that. Another great thing about Sugarhill Gang as a group, they're clean. They don't use any swear words and their albums are family friendly. That's almost unheard of in a lot of music today. I love that I can play "Rapper's Delight" with my son in the car. He likes the song and it gives me a chance to listen to something other than children's music. Don't get me wrong, I like that the kids music helps my son learn, but I'd much rather listen to "Rapper's Delight" than the ABC song again.

Sugarhill Gang put out five albums, but nothing came close to the greatness that is "Rapper's Delight". Their other stuff is decent, and they even made a kids rap album, but "Rapper's Delight" was their peak. What a great peak to have though. They are responsible for creating an entire genre of music. The music they created, rap music, may be the most popular music there is today. They are still performing today with the two surviving members and some other friends of theirs. That's pretty incredible that they are still out there doing music. They've even scored some top 100 hits, but it's all overseas.  

With one single song, Sugarhill Gang created rap. That's reason enough for me to nominate them in our debate. They may be more of an influence, which I've written about, but they created "Rapper's Delight", therein creating rap. They belong on this list for that reason alone. Go out, after you read this, and listen to "Rapper's Delight" and be grateful that they created this song. Without Sugarhill Gang, we wouldn't have rap and without rap, we wouldn't have some of the greatest music there is today.

Thank you Sugarhill Gang. You guys belong in the Greatest American Band debate.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the co-host of the X Millennial Man podcast. When he was little, Ty thought hip hop was what a rabbit listen to. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Why is Joe Maddon so Bush League?

Birth place of the modern Cardinal Way

Who in the world does Joe Maddon think he is?

Sure, he's a good baseball coach. Good, not yet great. If he can take the Cubs to the World Series and win, then he becomes great. But where does this air of superiority come from? Does he think he's the greatest manager of all time? Does he feel like he can write the rules of baseball and everyone has to do as he says?

I bring all this up because, in the recent series with the Cardinals, not only did he call out the "Cardinal Way", but he repeatedly had his pitchers throw at Cardinal batters. I understand the first time because the Cardinals hit one of the young Cub stars, Anthony Rizzo. In baseball the unwritten rule is, you hit one of our guys, we are going to hit one of your guys. This rule has been around forever and it's not going anywhere. But, to complain about the "Cardinal Way" after that particular game, and then to go out in the next game and hit three Cardinal batters, that's down right douchey. That's like a frat boy not getting the girl he wants because she already has a boyfriend and he gets his lame frat "brothers" and they outnumber the boyfriend and beat him up.

I'm trying to say that you sound like an upset frat boy Joe Maddon.

Also, why are you so against the "Cardinal Way"? This is a term I don't particularly care for, but all the Cardinals do is win, so the "Cardinal Way" must be working. Wouldn't you want to model your team after a successful team? Every other league is a copycat league, but you Mr. Maddon, like to "think outside the box". Sure, your way has gotten you to one World Series, which you lost, and won you a couple of division titles, but you've never truly won anything of importance as a manager. You act like you're the king of baseball though.

Why is that?

The only reason I can come up with is, the horrible people at ESPN love you, so they constantly do stories on you. I feel like this makes you think that your more important to the game than you truly are. No one outside of Chicago cares about you and your way of coaching. Sure, you have a good, young team that is on the verge of greatness, but you are just an okay manager. To attack the Cardinals the way you did was bush league. Spoiler alert for you Joe Maddon, the Cardinals aren't fazed by trash talk. They could care less that you called them out on ESPN. The Cardinals are an organization that goes about their business with class and style. They don't feel the need to attack other teams or players via the media unlike you Joe Maddon. It's also absurd that after you got your eye for an eye in the first game, the very next night you felt it was okay to hit three more players. What kind of amateur shit is that?! Do actions like this make you feel like you're a tough guy? It makes you look like an asshole, not a tough guy. To people outside Chicago, you're bush league. That's what a little league coach who has way too much invested in his little league team does. You're a manager of a professional sports team. Act like it for god's sakes. Don't act like a frat boy or a little brother. I thought that your schtick was okay when you were in Tampa, but now that you're in a big city, I see the true person that you are and it's an ugly, mean person.

It's funny to me that you chose the Cardinals to attack too. I guess the little fish want to attack the shark. The shark always wins Joe Maddon. The Cubs are riding their hottest streak since the early 2000's, and you're still 6 games back in the division. You guys are actually third in the division behind the Cardinals and the Pirates. But, the way you talk and the way the media talks about the Cubs, you'd think that they were in the first place. That's not the case. And how arrogant are you going to be if, the way it looks now the Cubs and the Pirates will be playing in the one game playoff, you guys lose the play in game to the Pirates? You already had your second baseman break the leg of the Pirates starting shortstop with a dirty, illegal slide, and you guys still may lose that game. If the Pirates win, are you going to call them out and say you don't care for the way they run their organization?

Well, let's look at the organization that hired you last offseason. The way the Cubs got you to be their manager is some of the shadiest shit I've ever seen or heard in my life. How many back alley deals were made? How many people in Tampa did you screw over so you could take this Cubs job? You are about as low class as they come Joe Maddon.

I hope you guys do beat the Pirates in the play in game and have to face the Cardinals in the division series. It will be that much sweeter when they kick your guys asses in the playoffs. I don't know why you think you're the greatest thing since sliced bread in baseball, and I hope you get crushing defeats in the playoffs with the Cubs, just like you did when you were with Tampa. You, Joe Maddon, are a scumbag and you deserve the worst of sports outcomes.

You're an arrogant asshole.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the co-host of the X Millennial Man podcast. The only thing he will defend more than his teams are his children, and a good steak. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

In an era of bad sports announcers, Cris Collinsworth is the worst

Mic to be used for analysis, not opinion

My beloved Packers played the Seahawks on Sunday Night football last night, and as a fan I of course was tuned in.

It was a pretty good game. Green Bay outplayed the Seahawks for three quarters, with the Seahawks briefly taking the lead early in the third, but the Packers eventually won the game. I was happy with the outcome, it's always great when your team wins, but that's not the point of today's blog. Today I want to talk about my dislike for Cris Collinsworth.

He's a god awful football announcer. I have problems with a lot of different commentators, but Collinsworth is the worst. I watch a lot of college football, so I've grown to dislike guys like AJ McDonough and Chris Spielman. They always seem to do Michigan games, and I am always upset when I see them calling the game. Lee Corso, who a lot of people like, is unwatchable to me. He's a gimmick. He was a tremendous failure as a coach and, in my opinion, he's much worse as a TV personality. I couldn't care less about his "pick of the day" bull shit. Take pretty much anyone from ESPN for that matter. Mike Tirico and Jon Gruden couldn't be more annoying calling Monday night games. They act like two best friends that speak a language only the two of them understand. It's pretty unpleasant. With college basketball on ESPN you have morons like Digger Phelps and Dick Vitale. Digger Phelps is a poor mans Lee Corso, and I've been sick of the "Dickie V" character for a decade now. Jay Bilas is just as bad. Whenever anyone bad mouths Duke, his alma mater, he's quick to defend them. I'm sorry, but if you're going to be an analyst on TV, you can't have a favorite team. You're not doing your job fairly. Same thing can be said for Tony Kornheiser and Mike Wilbon. I watch "PTI" everyday, but the two of them are completely biased for players and teams they like. Wilbon won't say a bad thing about anyone from Chicago, or any team from Chicago. Take the recent Patrick Kane story. He plays for the Blackhawks, and was accused of sexual assault this offseason. Wilbon hasn't said one bad thing about him because, as he put it, "we don't know all of the story yet". That's horse shit. If he played for any other team in hockey you'd say he needs to be suspended, if not kicked out of the league. Kornheiser is just as bad with East Coast teams. Anyone from New York gets a pass, except for the Knicks, and he is a huge fan of all the professional teams in Washington. Forget the fact that the NFL team from Washington is terrible and the Wizards, Capitals and Nationals never live up to expectations, he still defends them to the high heavens and jumps all over teams that aren't on the East Coast for being chokers. It's such a joke.

But, with all these terrible, biased announcers and TV personalities I've mentioned, Cris Collinsworth takes the trophy for most insufferable. He is so in the bag for the Seahawks, it's hard to listen to him call a game. I'll get to last night in a minute, but let's look at last season. He and Al Michaels, I like Al Michaels and feel bad for him that Collinsworth is John Madden's replacement, called the first game of the 2014 season. It was also Green Bay and Seattle. Seattle was coming off a big Super Bowl win over Denver and you would have thought that Collinsworth was part of the team. Everything he said was praise for the Seahawks. They were the greatest defense ever, even better than the 85 Bears he said. Marshawn Lynch was the second coming of Jim Brown in his opinion. Russell Wilson was the second coming of John Elway. It was made worse by the fact that Seattle beat Green Bay pretty handily in that game last year. Collinsworth couldn't have sounded happier. Everything was praise for how great of a team the Seahawks were last season. And, that was the case since they made it to the Super Bowl, which he called with Al Michaels. Collinsworth sounded on edge the whole game. You could clearly tell that he was pulling for and wanted the Seahawks to win this game badly. Every time the Patriots scored, Collinsworth would make a claim that Seattle blew a coverage, or that New England got away with a penalty. It was never that New England was outplaying them for most of the night, it was something Seattle or the refs did wrong. He never pointed out the fact that Tom Brady picked apart Seattle's secondary. The Patriots dinked and dunked their way up and down the field all game, but you'd never know that if you listened to Collinsworth. No praise for New England during the game. Seattle had a chance to win that game as we all now know. As they drove down the field, with one of the luckiest catches I've ever seen, Collinsworth sounded almost giddy calling this drive. Then the infamous one yard line pass happened. You guys remember the face that Richard Sherman made when Malcolm Butler intercepted Russell Wilson (behold beauty)? I bet that Collinsworth wasn't just making that same face, I bet he was crying. He sounded audibly upset that the Seahawks lost that game. You can't pick sides when calling games as an announcer, especially in the Super Bowl. It's fine to have a favorite team, we all do, but when you do TV, you CANNOT be biased. It's unfair to all the watchers.

Last night was probably the worst I've ever heard from Collinsworth. Once again, whenever Green Bay did something good, or drove down the field, or stopped Seattle's drives, it was never because the Packers did something right, it was Seattle doing something wrong. When Seattle took the lead in the third, he sounded like a proud father, heaping praise on Wilson's performance. Wilson played well in the game last night, but he threw a crucial interception on a screen pass. A linebacker dropped into coverage and picked him off one handed. The linebacker fumbled at the end of the play, Green Bay clearly recovered the ball, but that's not what happened in Collinsworth's perspective. First, he claimed the running back that the screen was set up for, didn't show himself quick enough to Wilson. Then, the line left their blocks too quick. Then, what a lucky interception he kept saying. Finally, he was convinced that the Seahawks recovered the fumble. He insisted, even after the game, that the refs blew that call and cost them the game. Never mind the fact that right after the turnover Aaron Rodgers, and more importantly, James Starks drove the Packers right down the field for the go ahead touchdown and two point conversion. The Packers would later add a field goal to make it a ten point lead and they stripped Fred Jackson with thirty seconds left to seal the game. But, after it was all said and done, you would have thought that the Seahawks got screwed over by the refs if you listened to Collinsworth. He's the worst kind of announcer. Not only does he have a team he roots for, but he openly roots for them while calling their games on national TV. That is unacceptable. He needs to stop with the Seahawk love and do his job correctly. I long for the days of Keith Jackson and John Madden calling games, but, unfortunately, we seem to be moving into an era of commentators openly rooting for teams while they call games. Collinsworth has started it, and it's only going to get worse from here.

That's a bummer.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing. He does not have any strong religious beliefs, yet he does think God wanted the Packers to win because that is what matters in the world. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Will Smith Needs to Focus on Being a Great Actor Again

Bad title puns courtesy of the editor

Yesterday I watched the movie "Focus".

You may, probably not though, remember this movie. It came earlier this year and it starred Will Smith and Margot Robbie. The movie was pretty blasé. It was a paint by the numbers heist movie with way too many moving parts. When you figured out who the mark was and who the thief was, boom, they shifted to two other people, that in my case, I'd forgotten about.

Now this movie could've been great. The first part, that takes place in New Orleans, is halfway decent. There's good dialogue and a cool montage of the thieves doing their thing. Then, inexplicably, they flash forward three years and now the two main characters are in Buenos Aires. This is where the movie falls off the rails. The story becomes way convoluted for its own good. There's too many twists and it doesn't work. Not for me at least. Margot Robbie and Will Smith do have pretty good chemistry and they almost make this movie watchable. Almost.

This brings me to what I really want to talk about today. What happened to Will Smith? He was, he still kind of is, a pretty damn good actor. Watch his performance in "Ali" or "The Pursuit of Happyness" or even "Fresh Prince of Bel Air". He's pretty good at the drama, and I really like him in comedic roles. His bit part in "Anchorman 2" as an ESPN broadcaster at the big news team brawl is quite funny. But, why does he take roles in movies that are down right terrible? "After Earth" I kind of understand. His son was the star and he wanted to help him on set, but that movie is horrible. Why did he make the terribly melodramatic movie "Seven Pounds" a couple years ago? That movie was a slap in the face to dramatic movies. It seemed like it wanted you to cry, but it was just a stupid, stupid movie. Why did he appear, as Satan I might add, in the movie "Winter's Tale"? That movie is an abomination and his role is garbage.

Even big budget movies like "Independence Day" and "Wild, Wild West" he can't save. I know a lot of people adore "Independence Day". It's one of my wife's favorite movies, but that movie is a turd. Will Smith is good in it, but that script and that director had no idea what they wanted to do. I loathe that movie. I guess, in Will Smith's case, this was his first big time starring role, so I understand a little bit why he took it. But, "Wild, Wild West"? Come the hell on. Not only is this one of the worst movies I've ever seen, but it's terribly, horribly racist. I can't believe that script didn't get rejected a thousand times. And the giant spider is a monstrosity.

Now, I don't mean to bad mouth Will Smith. Like I said before, I really like him. He's charismatic and you can't take your eyes off him him when he's on screen. He commands your attention. I'm more upset with the choices he's making lately. I just don't get it. "Focus" should have, and could have, been a really good movie, but the script was too loaded and didn't come together. I wish Will Smith would go back to doing smaller movies like "Pursuit of Happyness" or "Six Degrees of Separation". He's phenomenal in "Six Degrees of Separation". Go watch that movie and marvel at how well Smith acts in that movie. Considering his role and where he was at that time in his career, his performance is truly incredible. So, please Mr. Smith go back to the smaller independent movies and stop making big budget flops.

You're a better actor than that and you deserve better.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture Editor for SeedSing and the co-host of the X Millennial Man podcast. He has hopes for Will Smith, yet in Ty's eyes DJ Jazzy Jeff has had a great carrer. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

The Great Characters of "Key and Peele" Will Be Missed

Toss out the tv, there is nothing good on anymore

Last week one of the greatest sketch comedy shows on TV aired their final episode.

"Key and Peele" has their series finale last Wednesday. I know I'm a week late, but I needed this time to reflect on what made "Key and Peele" so great. This show came out of nowhere to me. I knew of Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele from their appearances on "MadTV". They were the only ones on that show that left an impression on me. I'm a SNL fan, so "MadTV" was, basically, a joke to me. It came and went, and people may say, look at Will Sasso he's been mildly successful, or look at, I've already run out of names after one person. Keegan Michael Key and Jordan Peele came later, and they were the only memorable ones on the show. When I heard, three years ago, that they were working on a sketch show for Comedy Central, I was excited. I like both of them, and they each would pop up in movies or shows every once in a while, but the fact that they were getting their own show, had me intrigued.

The first season of the show was just as great as I hoped it would be. In the first sketch of the first season, they put out one of the most quotable and memorable skits that lasted all the way through the five seasons, coming to an end in the final episode. Two husbands were hanging out, with their wives in other rooms, and they were complaining about their significant others. They would get to the end of the complaint, lean in and whisper, "I said biiiiiiitch", and each of the guys would congratulate the other one for standing up to his wife. But, when the wives would enter the room, both men would tense up and say, "we aren't talking about anything". It's one of, if not their most, memorable sketches. Through all the seasons we were also introduced to recurring characters like Wendell, Luther(Barack Obama's anger translator), Andre and Meegan, substitute teacher Mr. Garvey, the East/West Shrine Bowl players(some of the funniest names I've ever heard), MC Mom and many, many other hilarious characters. Wendell, played by Jordan Peele, was a nerdy, loner that would order a pizza, or go to a sex addicts group and make up wild stories. He would always claim to have way more friends than he actually had, his friends were his action figures, and his stories got larger and less true as they went on. Barack Obama's anger translator, Luther, was one of the best characters on sketch TV of all time. Keegan Michael Key played Luther, and Jordan Peele would do his spot on Obama impression, and when Obama spoke, Luther translated every word into a super loud, very angry speech. In the final season we even got a Hilary Clinton anger translator to argue with Luther. It was very funny. Luther was such a popular character, he actually spoke at one of Obama's recent speeches. It was great. Andre(Key) and Meegan(Peele) were your typical mid twenties, douchey couple. Andre was a total pushover, dressed head to toe in gaudy Ed Hardy gear, and he would literally follow Meegan to the ends of the Earth. Meegan was the epitome of a bitchy, over privileged, snotty twenty something year old. Her high pitched tone and the way she treated people was so grating, that everyone who came in contact with her hated her, except for Andre. They almost broke up in the final episode, but Meegan tricked Andre into staying together. The East/West Shrine players had some of the funniest, most ridiculous names I've ever heard. Key and Peele's portrayal of these players were spot on. Some of the names included Hingle McCringleberry or X Wing @aliciousness, just absolutely absurd. Some rumors were, they got the idea for this recurring sketch when they heard there were real players named D'Brickashaw Ferguson and Ha Ha Clinton-Dix. Those are real football players, with Clinton-Dix actually appearing in one of the East/West sketches. MC Mom seemed to be almost a throw away character, but the further she got into her rap, the better the sketch became. This portrayal by Peele was phenomenal and it brought back one of "Key and Peele" most famous catchphrases, "Put the Pussy on the Chainwax!". Fans of the show know exactly what I'm saying with that catchphrase. Substitute teacher Mr. Garvey was the best recurring character on this show. Played to perfection by Keegan Michael Key, Mr. Garvey had an anger that only a substitute teacher could have, and he pronounced all the students names wrong. For example, Aaron was pronounced A a ron or Denise was pronounced De Nice. It is such a funny, yet at the same time, true sketch for all of us who've ever had a substitute. There's so many more excellent characters that they both played, but these are my favorites.

When the show premiered, they used to do it in front of a studio audience, a la "Chapelle's Show" and I really liked that. In the third season, they switched to the two of them driving in a car on a long stretch of road with the desert to each side of them. I was frustrated at first, but as it went on, some of the funniest moments were produced between the two of them simply talking to each other. In the long run, it was clearly a set up to end their very first sketch, the "I said biiiiiiitch" sketch, and it totally paid off.

Both of these guys will continue to work because they're so talented and I'm glad that Comedy Central gave them a platform so more people could find out how funny they are. The two of them wrote a movie that will be filmed soon, and both are working in TV and movies very consistently now. I will miss you "Key and Peele".Wednesday nights will not be the same without you, but you ended the show at the right time for yourselves and it was a very pleasing ending to fans like me. Thanks for the three plus years and five seasons of some of the most hilarious sketch comedy I've ever seen.

You guys definitely put the pussy on the chainwax.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the co-host of the X Millennial Man podcast. With all of his shows ending, what will he watch next? Supergirl? Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

The Greatest American Band Debate: A Tribe Called Quest

We've been doing our Greatest American Band debate on the website for a little over three months now. We've discussed many great bands, old and new. Some are hugely famous, others a little more underground. What dawned on me this weekend though, we haven't discussed any hip hop/rap groups.

That's a shame.

Hip hop/rap is the only type of music that is truly American. It originated in the US and, only about 10 years ago, did it start to come from overseas. There's a plethora of rap groups that I will be writing about over the next couple of months, one every week to be precise, and today I'm going to start with my personal favorite, A Tribe Called Quest. Tribe, which I will call them the rest of this piece, was the first true hip hop group that I was exposed to that was good. I listened to people like Puff Daddy and Mase and Onyx, but those were all pretty terrible rappers. Puff Daddy is a genius producer, but a not so good rapper. Mase was cool for a minute, but he went into some weird tail spin and I believe he's a preacher now. Onyx had one really good song, "Slam", but in preparation for this blog, I listened to it again, and sadly it doesn't hold up. Puff Daddy did introduce me to the GOAT, Notorious B.I.G., but he's a solo act, so he's out of this discussion.

Once again, my oldest brother, the same one that introduced me to the Velvet Underground, introduced me to Tribe. They were like nothing I ever heard before. They had a smooth, jazzy sound. But, they also were phenomenal rappers. Q Tip was the smooth operator of the group. He had a soulful, yet political consciousness that spoke to me. He delivered his lyrics with ease. He was/is such a good rapper, he made it sound easy. It's like watching a really good NBA player, someone like Magic Johnson, who is so good, they make it look easy. I can't do the things they do, but they make it seem possible. Phife Dawg came at you like a canon. After one of Q Tip's verses, Phife would come in and blow you away with his intensity and, almost angry, delivery. He was the perfect compliment to Q Tip. One was smooth(Q Tip), the other would punch you in the gut(Phife). Ali Shaheed Muhammed was a fantastic DJ, and when he did rap, he was decent. Ali Shaheed was more of the voice of reason in Tribe. He kept them going, even when times were rough. I'll touch on the rough times later. Ali Shaheed clearly just wanted to make music. He didn't want to argue and fight and gripe with the band, he just loved music. Look at the work he's done with D'Angelo or TLC or Tony! Tone! Toni!, the guy is a musical genius. They had a fourth member, Jarobi, but he only appeared on their first album, and he was, for all intents and purposes, their hype man. Jarobi and Phife still remain close friends to this day, so, for that reason alone, he deserves mentioning when talking about Tribe.

All three(four if you want to count Jarobi) were great as a group. They knew what each of them excelled at and they capitalized on that knowledge. In the long run, they grew to hate each other(really Q Tip and Phife hated each other, Ali Shaheed just wanted to make music like I said earlier) because with genius and ego comes jealousy. Q Tip and Phife were both so great at what they did, I think they both grew suspicious of each other and that's when the infighting started. These fights led to the demise of the band, they would reunite for four years, but I will talk about that later, and they only made four albums. But, those four albums are fantastic. Their debut album, "People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm" is groundbreaking. I'd never heard anything like this ever before. You had four guys interweaving jazz grooves with hip hop beats and two of the best rappers to ever walk this Earth. Talk about coming out of the box and crushing a grand slam. This album put not only the hip hop world on notice, but all of the music business started to pay attention to Tribe. This is not only one of the best rap albums of all time, it's one of the best albums of any kind of music ever made. On this album, you can hear the influence it had on other hip hop bands like Digable Planets or Dilated Peoples. Without "People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm", we would never have had those groups. Sophomore albums are usually a step down from debuts, but not in Tribe's case. Their second record, "The Low End Theory" was not a slump, it was a revelation. This is, in my opinion, the greatest rap album of all time. Q Tip was always the leader, but Phife took a huge step forward and became an unstoppable force on this record. They took all their jazzy beats and bumped it to a whole other level. They matured and became better rappers than I ever thought they could be. This is a must own album for all music lovers out there. Even if you don't like rap, you'll like "The Low End Theory". It's music for all different music lovers. After this album is where the fighting started for Tribe. As I said, Phife started to become a force and I don't think Q Tip liked that. It may sound like I'm being too tough on Q Tip and, yes, Phife is my favorite of the group, but that's not the case. I just think that two geniuses will eventually grow to dislike each other when they spend that much time together, and that's what happened. They still made two more albums though. "Midnight Marauders" is a really good record. The story goes, they were fighting so much that each of them recorded in their own studio, but when you listen to this record, it sounds like Q Tip and Phife are standing right next to each other in the recording studio. This is also the album where Ali Shaheed got to do some rhyming. He was pretty good too. They recorded one last record, "The Love Movement", but you can definitely tell that they were ready to be done with each other. It's still a really good record, but you knew it was going to be their last. They put out four great, classic albums in a short amount of time, and I didn't even get to some of the songs on these records.

In fact, let's do that now. Songs like, "Buggin Out", "Bonita Applebum", "Can I Kick It", "I Left My Wallet in El Segundo", "Award Tour", "Oh My God", "Steve Biko(Stir it Up)" and many more are classics. "Buggin Out" is when Phife busted out on the scene. Go listen to his verses in this song and be amazed at how awesome he is as a rapper. He is great. "Bonita Applebum" might be one of the greatest love songs I've ever heard. If it wasn't so dirty, I'd want it as my first dance at my wedding(full disclosure, my first dance song at my wedding was "Sea of Love", a great choice in my opinion). "Can I Kick It" might be one of the most quotable songs of all time. Wherever I'm playing sports with my son and we have a ball that we are kicking, whenever he says, "Can I kick it?", I say, in my best Tribe impression, "Yes You Can!". That song is awesome. "Oh My God" is the best kind of ear worm you can get. I hear that chorus and the rest of the day, I'm singing that in my head and out loud. "Steve Biko(Stir It Up)" has one of the coolest grooves in a rap song that I've ever heard. Q Tip is his smooth self on this song and he delivers his lyrics like a god damned pro. "Award Tour" is my favorite Tribe song. The verses and the chorus are awesome, both Phife and Q Tip shine, and they give a shout out to their main man, Ali Shaheed Muhammed, throughout the whole song. It's a really, really good song. There's many, many more songs I could talk about, but these are my favorites, and the ones I listen to the most.

As I've said before, they fought a ton, but they did reunite for a brief time in 2004 until 2008. They played sold out venues and sold out festivals. Fans were eager to see them live, and for the most part, they delivered. Go watch the excellent movie, "Beats, Rhymes and Life: The Travels of A Tribe Called Quest" directed by super fan and actor Michael Rappaport, and you'll see them reunite, but you also see the fights that were going on, specifically between Q Tip and Phife. This is a really good movie about Tribe and it's a must see for all fans. All of the members went on to solo careers, but Q Tip is/was by far the most successful.

Before I give my closing thoughts on Tribe today, I also wanted to mention that they were contemporaries with Busta Rhymes, Common and the great De La Soul. These two bands and two solo artists grew together at the same time. How crazy is that. Tribe is one of the greatest bands of all time, not just in hip hop/rap, but in all music. A Tribe Called Quest is, by far, one of the Greatest American Bands and they absolutely belong in our conversation. The things I've written and many, many more reasons are why I nominate them today.

Tribe rules.

(ed note: A Tribe Called Quest has also not been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. What they hell is wrong with the hall?)

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture Editor for SeedSing and the co-host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. At one time Ty was rocking some series dreds, he now rocks a bald spot. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Place the Face with the Voice and Watch Eugene Mirman's Netflix Special "Vegan on His Way to the Complain Store"

With so many good things on, it is time to grab the extra tvs

Yesterday I finally got to watch Eugene Mirman's stand up special on Netflix entitled, "Vegan on His Way to the Complain Store".

Now for those of you out there that don't know who Eugene Mirman is, maybe you're familiar with his voice acting on the fantastic TV show, "Bob's Burgers". He plays the voice of the male child, Gene. He's my personal favorite on that show. Mirman's voice acting is absolutely hilarious. To give you a taste of the dialogue, Gene says to Bob, "that's channel five news, they'll finger anything with a pulse. Bob replies, "I think their slogan is, our finger is on the pulse", then Gene replies, "I'm pretty sure it's, we'll finger anything with a pulse, look they're fingering us right now!". That's hilarious.

The first place I saw Eugene Mirman was on the great, underrated TV show, "Flight of the Conchords". He played Bret and Jermaine's landlord named Eugene. He was used sparingly on the show, but when he was on, it was always funny. There's one scene in particular where he's stuck in an elevator with Jermaine and he's showing him the new faucets for the apartment building. Jermaine tries to use the faucet, complaining to Eugene that it doesn't even work. We all know it doesn't work because it's not hooked up to anything, but these two play this scene to big, big laughs. It's small in stature, but huge in hilarity.

I started to get into Eugene Mirman more after "Flight of the Conchords" went off the air. Mirman and Kristin Schaal were the two people outside of the main characters that I needed to know more about. So, I bought Mirman's two comedy albums and they are comedic gold. He's an excellent stand up. He's was on the cusp of the alternative comedy scene. Hell, he might have been one of the first. He has a great bit on one of his albums about whale watching in Maine, I believe, and he talks about how beautiful it is, but all he could think of doing was going from person to person to ask them, in a whisper, if they had any condoms. His first four albums are all great, especially, "God is a 12 Year Old Boy with Aspergers" and he has his own sense of humor and how he performs it to an audience is, uniquely, Eugene Mirman. He does bits where he reads open letters that he's written to town magazines or papers. He does stuff about art, and then he'll present his crude drawings with funny stories behind them. He loves to take pictures and then explain a weird occurrence involving himself or a group of friends that said occurrence happened to, holding the picture up the whole time. He creates new slogans for companies. My favorite thing he does in his act, he signs up on dating websites, or websites like LinkedIn and writes crazy stuff in his bio.

All of these bits are in "Vegan on His Way to the Complain Store", and it's all very funny. For instance, he has a LinkedIn bio bit, where he says he's the VP of Pee Pee at Verizon. He explains that it's still on his personal bio page because, "no one fact checks anything on LinkedIn". He also said that, to further hammer home his point about no one fact checking anything on LinkedIn, he gets a lot of calls about open VP positions at different companies due to what they saw on LinkedIn. It's really funny. He does an audience Q and A during his set, and it's found out during this, that he will answer questions from his fans on Facebook, as long as it's not something weird like, "I'll wash your shoes". We also learn that he likes to ask celebrities very absurd questions on Facebook, hoping that one day they'll respond. Listening to him talk about the ridiculously hilarious things he asks politician John Boehner is wonderfully absurd. It's great. He does the art thing during this special, explaining that he contacted Whole Foods, asked if he could put art in their store, and they begrudgingly said yes. His artwork is hilariously childish, on purpose of course, and his titles for his pieces are really funny. My favorite thing he did in this new special was, he explained how he got a parking ticket while he and his girlfriend were sight seeing in New Hampshire. I won't go into the whole bit, but he got a ticket for "parking the wrong way". He backed into a spot, apparently that's illegal in New Hampshire, and he goes into a whole story about a letter he wrote that will be published in the New Hampshire Summer Guide. He's obviously very angry about the ticket and he felt the best way to get back at them was, to write an angry, yet very funny letter about it. Watch the special for this bit alone, it's fantastic.

"Vegan on His Way to the Complain Store" is another excellent addition to Eugene Mirman's already large body of stand up specials. He's an awesome comedian and people need to know about him, if they don't already. Fans of his will love this special, and this special should also bring him some new fans. Yes, "Bob's Burgers" and, to a lesser extent, "Flight of the Conchords" made him better known, but stand up is where he's gained his notoriety.

So, watch "Vegan on His Way to the Complain Store", it's really, really great and comes highly recommended from yours truly.

Ty 

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the co-host of the X Millennial Man podcast. 

The Greatest American Band Debate: The Cars

We all have a soundtrack to our lives. There are songs we hear that immediately transport us back to a certain time in our life. These songs are not always considered great by the critics and keepers of pop culture, but they have strong personal feelings. Everybody born before 1980 can sing the first few bars of the song Alex P. Keaton hears when he thinks of Ellen. I had no idea who sang that song, or what it was called. (Billy Vera and the Beaters, At This Moment. Now you know, it that is half the battle.) Music is the closest thing we have to time travel. Sometimes we hear a song, and we are transported to a time long forgotten.

The Cars created some of the greatest memories with their incredible music. The band was able to build these memories by making some of the greatest music to come out in the early 1980's. Ric Ocasek and his sound is iconic, but he was not a solo artist.  The Cars were a band who went through many previous incarnations with new members being picked out of other small local bands until an influential sound could be created. Ocasek first picked up bassist Benjamin Orr in Cleveland and headed to Boston. Once in Boston the duo added and subtracted many members until the Cars were formed with Ocasek, Orr, Elliot Easton on guitar, Greg Hawkes on keyboards, and David Robinson on drums.  The synth heavy, new wave sound of The Cars helped move the nation away from disco. The bands first two albums, The Cars and Candy-O both brought the band great success, but their eternal greatness was going to be how The Cars music was brought to the masses visually.

On August 1st, 1981 MTV launched and created a new trajectory for popular music. Well regraded musicians who did not have a good look, such as Christopher Cross, were suddenly being left behind. The pretty bands like Duran Duran and Flock of Seagulls (???) were now taking over your screens and speakers. The Cars were one of the first bands to understand that great music videos could complement great music. They were already commercially and critically successful with their sound, now The Cars were gaining a new level of fame with their videos. At the very first MTV Video Music Awards, The Cars took home the top prize for their video for "You Might Think".

The Cars already had the great music, they now were considered the best music video artists. Incredible music and mind blowing videos is not how an entire generation will remember The Cars. In 1982 the film Fast Times at Ridgemont High opened and left its mark on all of generation x. Writer Cameron Crowe and director Amy Heckerling created iconic characters, and produced one particular scene that would hit a bit close to home for many of the audience. (link kind of NSFW). The iconic music used for this memorable scene was the song "Moving in Stereo" by The Cars. Like the Alex Keaton sad song, Phoebe Cates coming out of the pool song has been planted in our brains and created a moment we will never forget. The red bikini, the exit from the pool, the slow walk, the embarrassment, all to the voice and bass of Benjamin Orr with backing from the rest of The Cars. Anyone born before 1980 knows that scene, and they know that song. The Cars created an everlasting memory.

The Cars broke up in the late eighties, and bassist Benjamin Orr succumbed to pancreatic cancer in 2000. There have been a few different line-ups touring under The Cars, mostly playing iconic hits from the bands greatest days. In 2010 the living founding members of The Cars reunited, recorded a new album, and went out on tour. It is down right criminal that The Cars have not been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. The keepers of the hall need to correct this oversight. The Cars created a sound for a generation.

In crowning the Greatest American Band, we get caught up in who made the most popular music, and we forget to give credit to the bands that are timeless. The Cars may not be the most popular, although they did pretty good at selling records, but they were unforgettable. When I listen to The Cars Pandora station, there is recognizable hit after hit. The moment "Moving in Stereo" comes on I am transported. Over thirty years later I can feel the excitement, and the embarrassment at the same time. That is true greatness.

RD Kulik

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing. He hopes now that the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame has no more Beatles to induct, maybe a deserving band like The Cars can get some love. Nominate your Greatest American Band and write for SeedSing.

Ty remembers the greatness of Moses Malone

Another legend lost

Last week I wrote about the surprise passing of NBA legend Daryl Dawkins, AKA "Chocolate Thunder". Today, I come bearing more bad news on the NBA legend front.

As most of you know by now, Moses Malone unexpectedly passed away yesterday at the age of 60. This one hit me just as hard as Daryl Dawkins. I even mentioned Moses Malone in my article about Dawkins. If you remember, Malone was who the 76ers traded Dawkins for, and they won the title that year. Moses Malone was the first professional basketball player to make the jump from high school to the pros. He led his high school team to two straight, undefeated championship seasons. He signed to play at the University of Maryland, but gave up his college career when he was drafted in the third round by the Utah Stars of the ABA. He signed a five year contract, but spent only three seasons in the ABA. The Utah Stars folded after his rookie season and he caught on with the St. Louis Spirits for the next two years. He put up pretty good numbers while playing in the ABA, averaging 17 points and grabbing 13 rebounds a game. When the ABA and NBA merged, Malone was drafted by the Portland Trailblazers, but never played a regular season game for them. He was traded to the Buffalo Braves, but only played two games with the team. He finally found a semi permanent home after being traded to the Houston Rockets.

During Moses Malone's first full season in the NBA, he put up decent numbers again. Malone averaged 13 points a game, but where he shined was rebounding, and more specifically, offensive rebounding. He finished third in the league in total rebounding at 13 a game, but he set a new offensive rebounding record, grabbing 437 total offensive boards. He would later break that record. He was also a stalwart on the defensive side of the court, blocking almost three shots a game. Malone led the Rockets to the Eastern Conference Finals, the Rockets were once in the East, only to lose to his eventual team, the 76ers in six games. During that playoff, Malone set a record with 15 offensive rebounds in one game. The 78-79 season was peak Moses Malone. He averaged 24 points and 17 rebounds a game on his way to winning the league MVP at the tender age of 23. This was the season he broke his own offensive rebounding record, grabbing 587 of them. Once again though, the Rockets were swept in the Eastern Conference Finals, this time by the Boston Celtics. Malone and the Rockets couldn't seem to get over the hump. The Rockets finally made the NBA Finals in 1981, Malone coming off another MVP season, but they were beat by the Sonics.

During the 1983 season, Malone was traded to the 76ers for Daryl Dawkins, as I mentioned before. New ownership wanted new players and Malone fit in perfectly with what the 76ers wanted to do. During the 83 season, Malone led the league in rebounding for the third straight season, collecting 15 boards a game. He also averaged 25 points per game as well. During the 83 playoffs, the 76ers only lost one game and swept the Lakers in the Finals. Malone won NBA Finals MVP and got his first, and only, NBA title. A couple more seasons and a couple more runs in the playoffs with the 76ers followed, but in the 85-86 season, the 76ers traded Malone to the Washington Bullets. His first season with the Bullets had Malone making the All Star team for the tenth consecutive season and putting up 24 points and 11 rebounds. Ultimately though, despite Malone's big numbers, the Bullets were swept in the first round by the Pistons. The same thing happened the very next season. Malone put up big numbers, but the Bullets were swept again by the Pistons in the first round.

Moses Malone played for three more teams, the Buck, Spurs and the Hawks. He put up okay numbers, but he was starting to get hurt more and he played a lot of basketball by this time in his life. He was even brought back by the 76ers to help tutor Shawn Bradley. He had a long, successful NBA career. He was such a good rebounder, he was dubbed "Chairman of the Boards" by his fellow players.

What drew me to Moses Malone was his tenacity and love for basketball. Sure, he was a great scorer, but he seemed to love playing defense and his rebounding is unmatched. He took more pride in rebounding than anything else. As a kid, I wanted to be Michael Jordan or Charles Barkley. As a I got older, into my twenties, I studied players like Daryl Dawkins and Moses Malone, and that's who I try to model my game after. Yes, I like to put the ball in the hoop, but I'd rather start a fast break with a defensive rebound, or get an offensive rebound for a put back. That's more satisfying for me.

It's a shame that Moses Malone passed away yesterday. In the past two weeks, we've lost two basketball legends that a lot of my generation, the Millenials, have little to no knowledge of. That's depressing to me. Instead of watching Blake Griffin or Kevin Love and saying that they're some of the best big men rebounders(they are not), go watch old games of Moses Malone. He's the best rebounder of all time. You will be missed "Chairman of the Boards". I hope you and Daryl Dawkins are playing one on one wherever you are now.

Rest in Peace.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and co-host of the X Millennial Man podcast. Follow him on twitter @tykulik.

Cloves and Fedoras: The rebirth of an insane beautiful dream in "Jodorowsky's Dune"

Madness can create great beauty

Cloves and Fedoras is Seed Sings reviews for little known pieces of pop culture.  Feel free to contact us with your own submissions of undiscovered gems that must be known.

Once upon a time there was going to be a movie that featured Mick Jagger as the scion of an evil family bent on ruling the galaxy. The evil family patriarch was to be played by legend Orson Welles. The band Pink Floyd, fresh off of Dark Side of the Moon, was going to produce the score for a planet in this movie. Salvador Dali, and a prop of Dali's head, was tapped to play the mad emperor of the galaxy. H.R. Giger worked on his very first movie with this film. The movie was going to be the first adaptation of Frank Herbet's science fiction classic Dune, the power behind this bold dream was avant-garde filmmaker Alejandro Jodorowsky.

Jodorowsky's Dune (2013) is a documentary directed by Frank Pavich that looks at what could have been if the world got to witness this version of Dune on the big screen. Alejandro Jodorowsky (El Topo, Magic Mountain, Tusk) himself is the star of this documentary and he takes you joyfully through his memory, and vision, of creating a truly remarkable film. The french film financier Michael Seydoux, who owned the film rights to the book, adds his recollection to Jodorowsky's creative endeavour. The documentary is filled with the incredible stories these men lived, and goes through the disappointment of not having the director's vision be put to film. 

The cast for Jodorowsky's aborted Dune was an incredible story in itself. The director made insane deals to secure the cast of his dream. Orson Welles agreed to play Baron Vladimir Harkonnen if the actors favorite Parisian chef could be retained on set to make Welles favorite food on demand. The director's own twelve year old son was put through intensive martial arts training to prepare for the lead role of Paul Atreides. David Carradine, at the height of his Kung Fu fame, was tapped to play Duke Leto Atreides. Jodorowsky's  and Seydoux's story of casting Salvador Dali is one of the highlights of the documentary. No spoilers, you need to see the film to see this amazing story of what could have been.

The amazing cast of Jodorowsky's vision was equally matched by the forces who were creating the world of Dune. Legendary french comic artist Moebius was hired by Jodorowsky to create storyboards for the entire movie. Special effects technician Dan O'Bannon, later famous for Alien, was recruited to create the never before seen visual effects. British illustrator Chris Foss, famous for creating many iconic science fiction book covers in the 1960s and 1970s, was tasked with creating the "machinery" of the galaxy. The creative force of these three artists created a massive book detailing the entire layout of the film. This telephone sized book is featured heavily in Jodorowsky's Dune and is a star in its own right.

Seydoux attempted to get the budget together by using the Dune layout book and shopping the idea to film studios. Many speculated that the film would clock in well over ten hours, and in a pre Star Wars days, science fiction was not a hot property in Hollywood. Everyone interviewed in Jodorowsky's Dune seem excited by the memories of creating the film, and they share their dejection in the failure to get the project off the ground. The documentary is not quite as long as Jodorowsky's masterpiece, it is only 88 minutes. The time you spend watching this story will make you wanting more. The documentary made me wish for ten hours of incredible film.

Alejandro Jodorowsky may be known as an eccentric madman. His vision for Dune was incredibly unconventional, but great science fiction is visual and thought provoking. The 1984 David Lynch film, one in which Lynch had his name as director removed from the theatrical release, is considered a disappointing misstep. We will never know if Jodorowsky's version would have done the book justice. Thanks to the incredible documentary Jodorowsky's Dune we get a chance to peek at what could have been. Near the end of the documentary, Jodorowsky suggest that someone could use his storyboard book and make an animated film out of its contents. If we can get this done, I will be one of the first to watch the film. All ten plus hours.

RD Kulik

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing. He is always looking for insane projects that deserve attention. Realize his dream by writing for SeedSing.

Let Me Respectfully Explain Why Your Team Stinks: Ty's new hatred for the Seattle Seahawks

It is insulting when you call me a Seahawk

There are some teams I really, really dislike.

Today, I'm going to go back to my irrational hatred for a football team. In two previous blogs, I've written about my irrational hatred for University of Missouri college football and the Los Angeles Clippers from the NBA. Today, I turn my attention to the NFL with the Seattle Seahawks. Good timing to, since the season started last night and truly gets underway on Sunday. The Seahawks are the first team I'll be writing about, under my irrational hatred blogs, that have won a championship. They won the Super Bowl two years ago, and played in the Super Bowl last year. They should've won that game, but I'll get to that later. Missouri football hasn't won anything of importance in over 50 years, and the Clippers have never won anything important ever in their history.

So, let's get to what I hate about the Seahawks. First, there was a time, about 10 years ago, when I actually rooted for the Seahawks in the Super Bowl. They played the Steelers, a team that will be talked about in this discussion at another time. That version of the Seahawks were coached by former Packer coach Mike Holmgren and had Shaun Alexander. I actually, kind of, liked this team. Shaun Alexander was my number one pick in my fantasy draft that year. I also liked the fact that they were a quiet team. No trash talk, no media stuff, they just went out and played football.  By the way, the Seahawks won that Super Bowl. The history books have the Steelers as the champs, but the refs screwed the Seahawks and the NFL and ESPN needed a redemption story for rapist Ben Roethlisberger.

Right after that season, I kind of forgot about the Seahawks. They were mediocre for the next 5 to 7 seasons. Then, they won, what was at the time, the worst division in football, the NFC West with a 7-9 record. This was three or four seasons ago. That was Pete Carroll's first season as head coach. Not only did they win that god awful division, but they went out and beat the New Orleans Saints in the Wild Card game. In typical Saints fashion, they had to go on the road to Seattle, Seattle won the division so they got home field, and the Saints couldn't stop the run. Go back and watch all the missed tackles on what is probably Marshawn Lynch's most famous run.  

It is after this Wild Card win and their subsequent draft  where my hatred for the Seahawks began. They started to pump their chests and say how great they were. Excuse the shit out of me, but you assholes backed your way into the playoffs that season and beat the Saints when everyone expected you to. This attitude is indicative of their head coach. Pete Carroll is a douchebag. This is the same guy who called out Mark Sanchez in front of the media when he declared for the draft. Sanchez was his quarterback at USC, they just came off a Rose Bowl win and he didn't have another decent QB on the roster. So, instead of doing what college coaches are supposed to do, support their players decisions and dreams, he acted like a dumped girlfriend. What makes this even worse, Carroll left USC within a year after Sanchez left for the NFL. Why did he care so much? I'll tell you why, he's a prick that whines like a baby when he doesn't get his way. Let's not forget how much of a cheater at USC he was. He bought Reggie Bush's family a home and a car. He had so many recruiting violations against him that, had he stayed at USC, they could've gotten the death penalty. So, he bolted for the NFL, and you'd think his cheating would stop, but nope. The Seahawks are one of the most suspicious teams in the NFL. Be it fighting between teammates in the locker room or steroids or even players using Ritalin. All these things, with the exception of the fighting, is against the rules. Does the NFL or Pete Carroll or Roger Goodell do anything about it? No, they're all too busy attacking the Patriots for under inflated footballs and stuff that happened almost a decade ago. Pete Carroll also made the worst play call ever during last year's Super Bowl. How do you not hand the ball off to Lynch on the goal line?! That call proves your ignorance and arrogance. I was elated you lost the Super Bowl in crushing fashion. You're an idiot Pete Carroll and  I hate you.

I mentioned the draft also as a reason why I hate this team. They undercut other teams and under pay their rookies. They seem to get pretty good players at a super cheap salary. How on Earth does that happen. Guys like Michael Bennett, Doug Baldwin and the majority of their offensive line are really underpaid. Marshawn Lynch is the best running back in the league right now, and they just gave him a multi million dollar extension last year. Their best secondary player, Kam Chancellor is willing to sit the whole season because, for football players, he's criminally underpaid. Richard Sherman is due for a huge raise, but will he get it? Probably not because they just gave Russell Wilson a HUGE contract.

This brings me to another big, big problem I have with the Seahawks, Russell Wilson. This guy is the most corporate, robotic piece of human trash I could ever imagine. He shows no emotions, unless he's talking about God. Let's get things straight too, he's a mediocre QB at best. This team didn't make it to two consecutive Super Bowls because of Russell Wilson, their defense and Marshawn Lynch carried them. But, you turn on ESPN or the NFL Network, and he's mentioned in the same breath as Aaron Rodgers, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady and old timers like Warren Moon and Fran Tarkenton. I'd take all those QB's over Wilson in a second. He's got little to no touch on his throws and he's going to get killed running the read option. He's a tick better than Colin Kaepernick, and that's not a compliment. The fact that the Seahawks gave him Aaron Rodgers money is going to cripple this team in the long run. Instead of paying the players that got them to the highest point in football, they paid a sub par QB a shit ton of money.

All his God talk needs to stop. When he first got in the league, players from other teams, it's been reported, said that he slept with their girlfriends while they were still together. That's not good in God's eye Russell Wilson. Also, if there is a God, he doesn't give a shit about you. You are the least of his problems. He's also totally sleeping with current girlfriend, musician Ciara. Nobody buys your guys bull shit. Russell Wilson is also known for clashing with teammates. He ran Golden Tate and Percy Harvin out of town. He tried to get the front office to trade Lynch in the middle of last season. Screw you Russell Wilson, have fun winning 6 or 7 games for the rest of your career. And, nobody outside of Seattle likes Marshawn Lynch or Richard Sherman. The hatred for Lynch isn't as bad for Sherman, Lynch pokes fun at himself, but his whole attitude towards media and people outside of his circle is stupid. Quit trying to be the Rasheed Wallace of the NFL. You're not as charasmatic as Rasheed Wallace. Richard Sherman on the other hand, boy the hatred is strong. Sherman is the best cover corner in the league, but he needs to stop talking. You went out and got into a fight with Skip Bayless. I can't think of a more douchey fight. You're a Stanford grad Richard Sherman, you don't have to constantly go on TV and tell us how smart you are. We know you're smart. You're also a bad sport. You lose with no dignity, and when you win, I close my ears because I can't deal with your mouth. You're like a conservative republican. You think you're correct because you're the loudest. Just shut the hell up and go out there and play football. You're a good enough football player that you don't need to run your mouth. Also, nothing made me happier than when Russell Wilson threw that pick and your smile turned to a frown. It was euphoric for me to watch you lose.

Seahawks fans are pretty ridiculous too. As I said earlier, you guys just recently became good. Before this success, I didn't know one single Seahawk fan. Now, they're coming out of the woodwork. If that's not a bandwagon fan, I don't know what is. You guys are the 21st century Dallas Cowboys. By this I mean, your fans are bandwagon fans and people that don't like you, HATE you and your fans. I hate all these actors and comedians, that I enjoy, are pounding the drum for you all over social media. Comedian Nick Thune, who I think is great, acts like there's no other team in the NFL. Or, when he does talk about a team not called the Seahawks, that team is a cheater and all their fans suck. Come back to me when the Seahawks are also rans in two years and tell me that you're still a fan. Chris Pratt, the biggest star right now and one of my favorite actors, is all over social media with his Seahawk love. Where were you five years ago?! I didn't hear or see you pumping up the Seahawks. You were like a ghost, but now that they're good, you're all over the place talking about Seahawk love. I bet the two of you couldn't name the starting QB the year before Matt Hasselbeck took over the job. You guys probably loved Hasselbeck when he was your QB, but now, you probably tell other people that he's a joke and shouldn't be in the league. I've got news for you guys, your QB's have never been elite.

So, these and many, many other reasons are why I loathe the Seahawks. It's a new hatred, but it's very strong and will only get stronger. Screw you Seattle Seahawks and screw your "12th" man bull shit. No one cares.  

You will be irrelevant in two years.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and co-host of the X Millennial Man podcast. His love for Michigan Football is much greater than all of his hatred combined (please Jim Harbaugh, start winning soon). Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Ty saw Ratatat live, and you should too

Delivering the best in electronica

Last night I saw Ratatat at the Pageant in St. Louis and it was a really excellent show.

I bought the tickets last month while on vacation in the UP of Michigan and the excitement had continued to build for the entire month of August all the way to last night. I usually don't get too excited for concerts like I used to. When I was a teenager and in my early twenties, I'd buy tickets in advance and constantly think about the upcoming show. I would be on razors edge by the time the show came around. It was not a great way to go to shows because I felt like I was too amped up when the concert finally happened and, while the shows were usually great, I didn't enjoy the experience as much as I should have. As I've gotten older, I don't get overly excited until I'm at the show. Last night, I found a happy medium between my two selves. I was very excited, but I've learned to temper expectations until after the show when I can really critique it. What had me more excited than normal was the fact that I'd never seen Ratatat before. Most shows I go to now, it's bands that I know will be good, or great. I don't have the time to go check someone out live that I only know a few songs, or have never heard of. I'm getting to old to discover new music live. I prefer to listen to someone on record many times before I commit to seeing them live. Ratatat brought out old feelings in me. I was excited to see a band for the first time. Full disclosure, I've listened to their records a TON and I knew exactly what I was getting into, thus making the decision to go easy. I brought my brother Seth along. He's the one who introduced me to the band and he's closest in age to me, being only four years older than me. What made the anticipation greater for me, Seth goes to a lot of live music, he's seen somewhere in the thousands of live shows, but he'd only seen Ratatat once, seven years ago. He was, for all intents and purposes, as new to them as I was.

Let's get to the show. The opener was one guy that called himself Hot Sugar. We arrived late to the show because, unless it's a double bill, I don't care for openers. They're usually boring and are only on the tour because they're on the same label as the headliner. We walked in during his first song, listened for about 2 minutes and went outside. We re-entered the venue when he was playing his last song, heard about another two minutes and he was off the stage. So, four total minutes of Hot Sugar and that was all I needed to hear to know I didn't care for his music. It was ambient DJ music, I bet if I stayed for his whole 40 minute set, I could've taken a cat nap. But, openers don't really matter, let's get to Ratatat. Their set started with a big projection screen that had Ratatat written in big block letters. The music playing sounded like something out of Star Wars and the block letters were shooting off fireworks. The band finally emerged and for an hour and a half, they crushed. Their set ran the gammit of their albums. They played songs off of all their albums. They opened with "Pricks of Brightness" off their new album "Magnifique". It was an awesome way to start the show. The lead guitarist shredded and his band member played a really heavy, chest thumping bass line. The set only got better from there. Other tracks off "Magnifique" included an excellent version of their six and a half minute epic "Nightclub Amnesia". They played the slower, what I call their "Mario Bros" water level song, "Magnifique". They played their single "Cream on Chrome" and my favorite song off the new album, "Abrasive". It was great to hear these songs since they're so fresh in my head. But, as I said earlier, they played songs off all their albums. Other standouts were, "Wildcat", "Shempi" and "Loud Pipes". "Loud Pipes" was pretty great. They played a bit of guitar, but both members of the band ditched their guitars for a couple minutes and banged away on the drum that each had set up in front of them. The same can be said for "Shempi". Both songs have guitar in them, but they focus more on the drums and it was a nice change of pace from the majority of the show. "Wildcat" is a classic Ratatat song. When you hear the cat's growl, you know it's on. That song is incredible live. What I was happily surprised by, they played "Seventeen Years". It was their first of two encore songs. This was the song that introduced me to Ratatat. I didn't know that "electronica" music could be guitar driven, but "Seventeen Years" proved me wrong. It was AWESOME live. I was so, so happy to hear this song last night. It's my favorite Ratatat song and it's always nice when a band you like plays your favorite song at a live show.

The songs were great, but the show going on behind them was just as cool. They had a big projector behind them and two flat screens on the side of the stage. Random images were shown on these devices throughout the show. We saw lions, birds, old sculptures and an eight armed running baby. The lead guitarist would stand in front of the projector screen when it was white and we got to see his shadow throwing down on guitar. It was pretty great. The light show was awesome too. They had a ton of reflective lights and pulsing white and orange lights throughout their set. The light show we got during "Nightclub Amnesia" was exceptional. I felt like I was in a disco in the 70's, but in a good way. The two guys in the band also provided me enjoyment. They each stood, at various moments, with their legs spread about a foot apart and proceeded to play their instruments phenomenally. My only gripe with the concert had to do with the venue. I love the Pageant, but the balcony was closed and the 21 and over area was packed. When we were in that area, I felt like a sardine in a can. It was very uncomfortable. Thankfully, Seth suggested we move to the under 21 section, since neither of us were drinking, and it was our best decision of the night. No gripes with Ratatat, just with the choices the venue made.

This was an excellent show and I'm extremely happy I got to see Ratatat live. They were on my concert bucket list and I can now cross them off. I will see them any other time they come to St. Louis. They were that great. So, if Ratatat comes anywhere close to you and you're a fan, see them.

It's well worth your money.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the co-host of the X Millennial Man podcast. If you come to St. Louis to play a show, Ty will be there in the under 21 section to do a review. Follow him on twitter @tykulik.

Comedy is thriving with podcasts. Get the best with the new app Howl.

Where do I turn the dial to hear this great comedy?

As all of you know, I'm a big, big fan of podcasts. 

I listen to podcast ranging from sports to comedy. Comedic podcasts are where my bread is buttered. I love listening to funny people being funny. There's something great about podcasting that allows these comedians and comedy writers to be funny in a free flowing environment. There's no real structure. Sure, you have an intro and an outro, but what happens in the middle is the best part. You get to hear these people use improv. That's so cool, because a lot of these people are great improvisors. People like Doug Benson, Scott Aukerman, Mike Mitchell, Nick Wiger, The Sklar Brothers, Paul F Tompkins and Matt Gourley are all great comics and actors, but on podcasts, they shine. Podcasting gives them the ability to do whatever they want. No notes from network executives, or people telling them to wrap something up. They have free rein. 

Podcasts have also introduced me to very funny up and coming actors and comedians like Lauren Lapkus, Jon Gabrus, Hayes Davenport, Sean Clements and even an old timer like Brendon Walsh. Ben Schwartz is so hilarious whenever he and Scott Aukerman do their "solo bolos" on Comedy Bang! Bang!. Actor Adam Scott is very, very funny during his appearances on multiple podcasts. Nick Kroll is a comedy powerhouse, especially with his many different characters on Comedy Bang! Bang!.  How Did This Get Made introduced me to Paul Scheer, June Diane Rapheal and the extremely funny, Jason Mantzoukas. I had barely ever seen or heard from Andy Daly until he started to pop up on different podcasts and now he has one of the best shows on TV, "Review". I could go on and on and on.

The main reason I'm writing today is to tell you about the great new podcast app called Howl. Howl gives you unlimited access to every single Earwolf, Wolfpop and WTF With Marc Maron that's ever been recorded. That means every episode of Comedy Bang! Bang!, How Did This Get Made, U Talkin U2 To Me, Analyze Phish, what I'm trying to say is, you get every single episode of every single Earwolf show. On most podcast apps, you get the last six months. On Howl, you get every episode ever, and the old ones are remastered with no commercial interruption. Same thing goes for the fairly new sister network of Earwolf, Wolfpop. You get Maltin on Movies with Baron Vaughn, I Was There Too, The Canon and so on and so forth. Every episode ever and the old ones are commercial free.

That would be enough for me, but they also give you every single WTF with Marc Maron. On his free app, he only gives the last sixty episodes for free. Howl gives you every episode ever. That's right, you can go back and listen to the two part Louis CK episode, voted best podcast ever, commercial free as many times as you want. You can hear Marc Maron interview Robin Williams. You can hear him from his start, interviewing his comedy buddies all the way to his high point of interviewing President Barack Obama.

Now, this app does cost money, but it's only 5 dollars a month. That's not much at all considering what you're getting. There is also shows that are only part of the premium Howl app. New shows from the Sklar Brothers, Lauren Lapkus and Jermaine Clement just to name a few will be on the premium app soon. There's also a TON of comedy albums available. You can hear albums from comics like Jen Kirkman, Doug Benson, Jim Gaffigan, Nick Kroll, Aziz Ansari and many, many more. I know, this sounds like an add, but it's not, I really just love this app and I think comedy podcast listeners will too. This is the holy grail for comedy podcasts. All these hours upon hours of uninterrupted shows is, in a word, phenomenal. It's a nice way to give back to these people that give us all this free content. Five dollars a month is nothing, and it's totally worth it. I love the Howl app and I'm really happy to have it. This is the first movement in the future of podcasting and I couldn't be happier about having all this content. Keep up the great work people of Earwolf, Wolfpop and WTF.

You guys have a fan for life.

Ty 

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and co-host of the X Millennial Man podcast. He did not get paid by any advertisers for writing this, . Follow Ty on twitter .

Why does Roger Goodell hate the NFL?

The newest NFL mascot, Lady Justice

Here at SeedSing we have commented many times on recent scandals in the NFL (here, here, here, and here). The general consensus around our virtual office is that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell is not very good at his job. Players like Tom Brady, and teams like the New England Patriots, may not be totally innocent, yet the ineptness of Goodell masks any improprieties. With the season only days away, many thought that Goodell's never ending follies would take a back seat to some real football action. That is what we hoped.

ESPN occasionally stumbles into actual journalism from time to time, usually with the people associated with Outside the Lines. Today looked like one of those stumbles with the piece Spygate to Deflategate: Inside what Split the NFL and Patriots Apart well researched and written by Don Van Natta Jr. and Seth Wickersham. The article goes through a history of deception by the Patriots, and the cover ups orchestrated by Commissioner Roger Goodell's office. Nothing really new was introduced in the piece, it was just confirmation of the Patriots rule bending and Roger Goodell's complicity in the spying scandals. Now at the start of the NFL season, the media and general public are once again debating on how badly Roger Goodell managed another crisis.

Many people think that ESPN piece once again condemns the New England Patriots to the branding of being cheaters. I was living two blocks from the St. Louis Rams stadium during the 2001 - 2002 season. I would never say that I was a huge Rams fan, but as the scholar David Puddy says  "Gotta support the team". I was shocked, but not surprised, that the Patriots beat the Rams. All of these years later I honestly think not giving Marshall Faulk the ball more is what cost the Rams, not an illegal videotape of practice. Maybe the Patriots did cheat. It does look like there is a long paper trail to help indict the team. Many Patriot defenders (like some of our heroes, Bill Simmons and our very own Ty) will go on and on about how every team tries to get an edge. That may be true, but then why do we not hear about the San Diego Chargers spying. It would be nice to have the Cincinnati Bengals implicated in some beneficial cheating if it means we could win a playoff game. My point is that the Patriots level of cheating was well beyond that of an average team. The bigger the operation, the more likely you will get found out.

The Patriot's alleged cheating is minor compared to the cover up instituted by the NFL in relation to the spying allegations. The ESPN piece insinuates that many of the owners were aware of the issues with the Patriots, and those owners did little to stop the indiscretion. Why would any owner allow any other team to break the rules and achieve greater success. I would hope that all the owners want to maximize the income their teams can bring in. The idea that the owners want to "defend the shield" seems very counterproductive. If the Patriots were getting a leg up in multiple Super Bowls because of cheating, the cheating will be exposed. It takes a lot of people to pull of a major cheating operation, people will talk. People did talk. The Patriots made extra money while the other idiot owners were complicit in hiding the truth.

The Patriots and the other owners may look like cheaters and enablers, but Roger Goodell is the jester in the NFL's court of idiocy. The commissioner has been fortunate enough to be in power during an era of unprecedented revenues, this is not due to Roger Goodell. Since day one, Goodell has looked vastly over matched and has an ego that is far ahead of his competency. The ESPN piece paints a picture of a guy who can kiss the asses of his billionaire bosses, but cannot handle basic human conversation away from the comfy confines of his echo chamber. Every organization has scandal, Goodell seems surprised by the reactions to his ineptness in dealing with the scandals related to America's most popular sport. That is not the mark of a leader, it is the mark of an out of touch dictator. Roger Goodell has had the support of his billionaire bosses, and the loyalty of a sycophantic sports media. With all of these benefits, he still makes any minor crisis into a big one. Many have thought that ESPN decided to run their article to make Goodell and the NFL brass look good in light of the setback they had in federal court with the Brady suspension being thrown out. This article does not make Goodell look good, it makes him look worse than the incompetent stooge many already take him for.

If Roger Goodell is so smart, and so good at his job, why does he act in this manner. Sports media personalities I respect, like Dan Patrick, seem to go out of their way to defend the business of the NFL over the players. Goodell has people everywhere trying to make him look competent. I understand that these media personalities (I can not call them journalists) need access in order to get ratings. It is better to lose your integrity to the commissioner than it is to any player. I can not help to shake the idea that Roger Goodell hates the NFL. If he is so great, and so smart, than his actions must reflect the desire to bring football down. The ESPN article shows a paranoid, desperate, non-thinking man. Roger Goodell is either an incompetent danger, or a subversive one. The Patriots may have bent the rules, the owners may have turned their heads, but Roger Goodell has kept it all alive. Why is he still the NFL commissioner?

Why does Roger Goodell hate the NFL?

RD Kulik

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing and host of the X Millennial Man podcast. He is available to be the next NFL commissioner. His Playstation 2 memory card has quite the resume on it. Come tell RD why he is wrong by writing for us.

The Greatest American Band Debate: Creedance Clearwater Revival

For the Greatest American Band debate, I nominate Creedance Clearwater Revival this afternoon.

I know, it's probably pretty weird for a millennial to nominate CCR, but I just recently got into their music, and these guys were awesome. Hell, John Fogerty is still making pretty good music. I think the main thing that drew me to CCR was their sound. These were four Californians, but their music sounded like they were from the bayous of Louisiana. I love how gruff and raw their music sounded. The best thing I read or heard, I don't remember exactly, was, someone called their music "swamp rock". It was really bluesy and had sounds of rock and roll, but that "swampy" sound with the guitars and John Fogerty's vocals was a perfect description. I love that their music is referred to as "swamp rock".

This is another classic American rock band that only stayed active, meaning the original four founding members, for five short, but very productive years. They put out seven albums in five years. That's unheard of nowadays. You're lucky if you get two albums in two years from your favorite band or musician now. Hell, it's almost expected that a group will take two to three years off after each album. The fact that CCR had that many albums, four of them recognized as some of the best rock music ever, in that short period is very, very impressive.

Now let's look at what puts CCR in this discussion. The members of the group include, Tom and John Fogerty, Doug Clifford and Stu Cook. We all know who John Fogerty is. He was CCR's lead singer, guitarist and wrote every single lyric and instrumentation of every CCR song. His brother, Tom, was the rhythm guitarist. He's the Fogerty that we all only know for one reason which I'll touch on later. Doug Clifford was the drummer and Stu Cook played bass. I think we all can agree that John Fogerty is head and shoulders above the other members of the band, but this band wouldn't have been so famous had it not been for the other three members. Tom Fogerty was the rhythm guitarist, and contrary to popular belief, they're important. They keep the timing for the band just as much as the drummer. Tom Fogerty was crucial to their sound as well, because he loved old blues music. He brought them inspiration for their sound. Stu Cook brought the gruff, distorted bass sound to this swampy music. He's really good and next time you listen to CCR, try and just listen to the bass, he's really incredible. Doug Clifford on drums was awesome. He also kept time for the band, but his drumming on songs like "Born on a Bayou" or "Fortunate Son" are great.  The albums they released, as I said earlier, are prolific and they busted them out. Seven in five years. They started in late 67 early 68 with their debut album titled, "Creedance Clearwater Revival". This is a great debut. They did take one year off, but in 1969 they had one of their most prolific periods of new albums and new music. They put out three albums in 1970, "Bayou Country", really taking off with the swamp rock sound, "Willy and the Poor Boys", showing their blues roots and the classic, "Green River", this album showed the band melding all their sounds into one and making an epically awesome rock/blues album. They took a much deserved rest and in 1970, they put out two phenomenal albums. In 1970 we got "Cosmos Factory" and "Pendulum".  "Pendulum" is a really good rock and roll album. In fact, this is their most basic rock album, in my opinion. "Cosmos Factory" is great on so many levels. This is, by far, my favorite CCR album. This album is much like "Green River", melding all their styles into one, but it's better, because the band had been playing together for awhile then and with the same members and comfort in each others musical ability, they were able to make their best music. "Cosmos Factory" is a must for CCR fans and for rock fans in general. This album is awesome. In 1972 they released their last album with the four founding members, "Mardi Gras". This album is okay, but you can tell that they were beginning to grow weary of each other. That much time together with the same people that aren't family or loved ones will take it's toll on a lot of people.

Back to the great albums and some of the songs included in these albums. CCR has a TON of hits. Songs everyone knows like, "Fortunate Song", "Bad Moon Rising", "Lodi", "Run Through the Jungle" and "Travelin Band/Who'll Stop the Rain". The early hits, "Fortunate Son" and "Bad Moon Rising" are great, anti war songs. Something some people may not know is, the members of CCR were veterans and after they returned home, they became the first, real protest band. They hated the war and told anyone within ear shot why the war was wrong through song. I love this about them. In a time where it was frowned upon to talk down to authority, they fought authority and used their platform, music, to fight it. "Lodi" showed a softer side to the band. This is a quieter song abut being stuck in one place at a certain point in your life. It's a really cool change of pace. "Run Through the Jungle" has one of the coolest sounding guitars I've ever heard on record. The riff sounds simple, but that doesn't make it any less awesome. It's so cool. This song really shows off John Fogerty's guitar playing ability. "Travelin Band/Who'll Stop the Rain" was the bands way of getting two songs on a single record. They're both great, memorable songs. Really smart idea by CCR too. Pack more music on a record for the fans. CCR also did a good amount of cover songs. Their version of Marvin Gaye's "Heard It Through the Grapevine" is a ten minute epic swamp rock song. They took a 2 minute R&B song and turned it into this ten minute swampy, bluesy rock and roll song. They covered Roy Orbison's "Ooby Dooby" note for note. This was them thanking one of their influences. When they first exploded on the scene, a song a lot of fans liked was their version of Screamin Jay Hawkins "I Put a Spell on You". This is a classic blues tune, but they put their twist on it, and it's really good. Many people think CCR covered the Ike and Tina Turner classic "Proud Mary", but this was an original CCR tune.. Their covers are almost as good as their originals. That takes talent in my opinion.

CCR also had problems with each other and other bands. They famously said about the Grateful Dead, while following them at Woodstock, that they, and I quote, "put audiences to sleep with their music". I don't like the Grateful Dead personally, so I find this very funny. More notably, they didn't get along with each other after they released "Mardi Gras". John Fogerty didn't really like anyone in the band, but he and his brother Tom fought the most. They went so far as to break all communication off with each other and didn't ever speak to each other again. Tom Fogerty died in the 80's due to complications from AIDS and John Fogerty never got any real closure with his brother. That's a bummer. John Fogerty also has the famous court case where he was sued by his former record company for sounding too much like John Fogerty. When he signed , as a young, dumb kid, he signed all his rights away. The record company basically had a strangle hold on all of CCR's music, but he must have had some damn good lawyers, because he won the case and now has all the rights to his own music. The fact that this record company sued him shows how big of dickheads record executives are. They don't care about music, they care about money. Fights, or "beefs" like these are now common place in music, but CCR was one of the first bands to openly fight like this. You may disagree with me, but that tells me they're an American band. They were inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1993, but they dislike each other so much, they wouldn't play together at the ceremony. As I said earlier, John Fogerty is still making music today, but don't expect any kind of reunion with the rest of the living members of CCR. According to a recent interview, John Fogerty was asked if CCR would ever reunite and he said, "I'd be up for it, but I don't think the other guys want anything to do with me anymore". Sad, but also, that's bands for you. One minute they love each other, the next they hate each other. I love CCR and their five year run is unparalled. They deserve and belong in our debate. The above reasons are why I'm nominating them. Creedance Clearwater Revival is awesome and will forever be credited with creating a new brand of music, "swamp rock".

That's pretty cool in my book.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the co host of the X Millennial Man podcast. If his car gets stolen he is holding our hope that the cops can find his Creedance tapes. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

A year later "Snowpiercer" is still a movie to watch

This snow needs some piercing

September is a horrible time for new movies. I love to watch movies, but the theaters have nothing good to offer. Channel surfing is the best way to find anything worth watching.

Last night as I was channel searching at 10pm, I came across the movie "Snowpiercer". I saw this movie in the theaters and I loved it, but I also forgot about it. I own it on DVD as well, but I leant it to a friend, and I still don't have it back. I'm here to tell you today that, holy shit, this movie is still totally awesome! First of all, the cast is incredible. You have stars like Chris Evans, Jamie Bell, Tilda Swinton, Octavia Spencer, John Hurt and Ed Harris just to name a few. The set and art direction to this movie is beautiful. The movie takes place in one area, the train, but the train has many different parts. There's the back, aka the poor people, there's sleeping cars, there's a garden, an aquarium and a spa. That's just a quarter of the train. As you get to the higher class people, there's a school, sushi bar, fancy dressed people in one random car, a night club and then the engine. All these cars on the train are beautifully and meticulously designed. For example, the garden looks like a real life garden. I wouldn't be able to tell you if it was on a train or if it was on ground. The nightclub looks like my nightmare of a nightclub. I don't frequent places like that, but the few I've been to are recreated in "Snowpiercer" to haunting perfection. The engine is enormous and beautiful.

The fighting and combat scenes are like watching a bloody ballet. There's one fight scene in particular, where the train's soldiers each gut a fish, presumably to show the passengers that blood will be spilled, and it's awesome. They fight each other with hatchets also. You can hear each plunge into a victim's chest, head, arm and leg. It's brutal, but awesome. When they reach a tunnel, the soldiers turn on night vision and they film the rest of the fight scene from the view of the soldiers. It's really, really cool. Inventive too.

The writer and director, Joon-ho Bong, is very talented and clearly has his own vision for movies. He's only done 13 movies, with "Snowpiercer" being his first, mostly English speaking movie. But, what other people may know him for is the terrifying Japanese horror film, "The Host". That movie is very scary.

Chris Evans, who is great in this movie, gives one of the most heartbreaking yet stomach turning monologues I've ever heard in a movie. I'm not going to spoil it because you need to hear it to believe it. It's so sad and extremely upsetting. When Evans gets to the engine, the back and forth between him and the trains inventor, Wilford(played by Ed Harris) is awesome. You get the viewpoint from the lower and upper class. It's really good, really interesting writing. I cannot recommend this movie enough. It's so great and so much better than crap like the new Transporter movie, or that Agent 47 movie. Hell, I think "Snowpiercer" is better than Chris Evans past two movies, "The Avengers" movies. And, I love "The Avengers" movies. But, if you want to see something super interesting and innovative, watch "Snowpierecer". It also has fighting and explosions and all the stuff you want in a popcorn movie, but "Snowpiercer" has the writing and directing of a small budget independent movie. This movie is incredible and comes highly recommended from me.

Watch it and enjoy.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and co host of the X Millennial Man podcast. With the dreadful movie period coming up he is looking for other great movies to watch from the last few years. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Last Generation Gamer: The unappreciated feminism of Final Fantasy VII

Game does not work, time to blow the dust out.

Last Generation Gamer is Seed Sings way of reflecting on the greatest video games that were released before the current gen systems.  These are not necessarily reviews.  Let's look at these thoughts as a walk down memory lane.  If you have any ideas for Last Generation Gamer contact us seedsing.rdk@gmail.com

Video games come under a lot of fire for being generally misogynistic. These accusations are usually dead on. People like Anita Sarkeesian have been pointing out the male gaze inserted in our popular culture. The girl as a prize, Mario saving the princess again, Ms Pac Man not having the right to keep her maiden name, there are way too many examples of men ruling the video gaming world. Horrid events like gamergate continue to show the communication hold that misogynists have on the industry. Things are slowly getting better with games giving us FemShep, Samus Aran, and Lara Croft as solid protagonists who happen to be female. Unfortunately these heroes have a few of their own issues related to misogyny. You can win Samus in swimsuit in the many Metroid games, Lara Croft has her iconic assets, and FemShep gets the most idiotic formal outfit (without all the mods or DLC)imaginable in a great game like Mass Effect 3. These heroes are still strong protagonists and these unfortunate additions do not alter their story arcs, yet it still holds the empowerment back.

The Final Fantasy series has always had some issues with damsels in distress and the woman as the prize. Great games like Final Fantasy VI and Final Fantasy X have incredibly powerful women who heavily rely on the weaker men in the game to save the day. Final Fantasy X-2 has only women as playable characters, yet there is still the eye rolling hot bath scene mid way through a game about the end of the world. Plus Yuna's main goal in X-2 is to find a boy.

Final Fantasy VII (Playstation 1997) was a groundbreaking game in the popular series due to the inclusion of 3D graphics and full motion video cut scenes. The in game story was massive and required 30 or more hours to complete. The characters all had very in depth backstories that were unnecessary to complete, but brought a richness to the entire game.

When exploring the full depth of these backstories, the hidden feminism comes to the forefront of Final Fantasy VII's story. The three playable female characters, Aeris, Yuffie, and Tifa, all have their own agency and do not rely on the men to be the hero. In the standalone world of Final Fantasy VII (I am only talking about the original game, not any of the extra games or movies associated with original Square-Enix release) the female protagonists are fiercely independent and vital to defeating the conflict. These powerful women seemed out of place since there was never a "wait for the man to show me how moment" from any of these characters. During my first play through I never thought about the feminism, yet as the years go on, and I remember how great Final Fantasy VII is, the feminism seems quite clear. 

The game begins and ends with Aeris (or Aerith) Gainsbourough's face. She suffers her horrible fate at the midpoint of the game, and never acts as the damsel in distress. Aeris goes to her fate thinking she can win, and the hero fails in his rescue. Yuffie is the daughter of nobility and runs from her duties. When you visit Yuffie's father, she stands on her own to prove her worth as a warrior and leader. Both of these women do not need the men to save them. Both control their own destiny.

Tifa Lockhart is the true feminist hero of Final Fantasy VII. On the  surface Tifa seems like every other video game woman. She has the halter top and she seems to pine for the hero's affection. Once you play through the game Tifa is not defined, or made stronger, by Cloud. She is her own person, with her own dreams. Tifa may want something more from Cloud, but his obliviousness does not make her follow him like a puppy. Tifa is responsible for bringing Cloud back into the fight. Cloud is Tifa's damsel in distress.

Final Fantasy VII still has some unfortunate parts of the game. There is the outdated and uncomfortable time spent on the Don Corneo quest, and the costume choice for Tifa. With the upcoming remake for the Playstation 4 some of the games warts may, or may not, be wiped away. Even with the problems, Final Fantasy VII still managed to put in the game three female characters who were not in distress, did not need the male hero, and could be counted on as the leaders. Square-Enix may not have wanted to create feminist icons in Final Fantasy VII, but the gaming community is lucky to have Aeris, Yuffie, and Tifa in our history.

Special thanks should go out to my good friend Wikipedia and www.feministfrequency.com for providing insight and facts.

RD Kulik

RD is the head editor for SeedSing and the host of the X Millennial Man podcast. He still gets mad when blocky Sephiroth stabs blocky Aeris with a blocky sword. Think RD is crazy? Come tell us why.

Cloves and Fedoras: Dan Auerbach's experiment with The Arcs pays off

Is it already time to rock?

Dan Auerbach of the Black Keys side project, The Arcs, put out their debut album "Your Dreamily" today and I'm here to tell you, you need to buy this album, not only if you're a fan of the Black Keys, but if you're a fan of experimental rock/blues/funk/R&B/spaghetti western music.

Dan Auerbach and the members of the band(Richard Swift, Leon Michaels, Homer Steinweiss, Nick Movshon, and features Kenny Vaughan and Mariachi Flor de Toiloache) take a bunch of chances, and more times than not, they knock it out of the park. I had heard the leaked tracks, "Outta My Mind" and "Stay in My Corner" about a month ago and I was immediately on board. "Outta My Mind" is a Black Keys esque rock song, but that's where what I call spaghetti western music comes into play. There's a keyboard playing music that sounds like it's straight out of an old Clint Eastwood western. I've always liked this sound, what I will now call the spaghetti western sound, in the old western movies, so I really liked hearing it on a rock record. "Stay in My Corner" is a sweet love song. It's really funky, yet psychedelic at the same time. I love the mixtures of genres within a song. Other great early tracks include, "Put A Flower in Your Pocket" and "Cold Companion". "Put A Flower in Your Pocket" is a straight up spaghetti western song. It sounds like it could be on the soundtrack for "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly". There's awesome guitar and that really cool keyboard sound. It's a great song. "Cold Companion" is a bit more of a blues/rock, Black Keys style song. Auerbach plays some really solid solos on this song. Auerbach is an awesome guitar player and he gets better and better with his vocals with each album he puts out.

The first nine songs are all in the spaghetti western, blues, rock genre. The last five songs find them making a complete genre change. The back half of the album turns into a funky, R&B record, and I couldn't be happier about it. Songs like "Velvet Ditch" and "Searching the Blue" are straight up R&B songs, but they add horns to each one, making them really funky. "Velvet Ditch" is where the album makes the switch. It starts out like a rock song, but then it slows down and has Auerbach showing off his falsetto voice. It's, for all intents and purposes, an R&B song. And just when you think it can't get any funkier, here come the horns. It's a great addition to the sound the band is looking for. "Searching the Blue" is the closing track on the album and it is horn and guitar heavy. Auerbach croons while crushing it on the guitar and the horns are dynamite. The genre switch is Richard Swift putting his stamp on this album. He's been touring with the Black Keys the past couple of years, playing bass, but he's put out solo albums himself, and he has a very folksy/funky/R&B sound to his music. He's a great musician and you should go out and buy his solo stuff if you enjoy this album.

I love that Auerbach is taking chances like this lately. He's really branching out with his music. He wrote all the songs on the last Black Keys album, "Turn Blue", and that was a very Pink Floydian type of album. This album, "Your Dreamily" and this new band, The Arcs, show him trying his hand at R&B and psychedelia music. He is so much better than Jack White at everything he chooses to do musically. He's also a better person from what I hear about Jack White. I love this album and I love that Auerbach and Carney are good enough friends that each can do their own side projects. It's really going to help the Black Keys get better and better with each album they put out in the future, having so many different styles of music that they are able to play.

Go out and buy "Yours Dreamily", sit back and the enjoy the cool, funky, spaghetti western, smooth R&B music that they play. It's really, really good.

I am not kidding, it is really, really good.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the co host of the X Millennial Man podcast. He was debating how many albums a band needs to be considered one of The Greatest American Rock Bands. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.