A Dirty Take on a Classic Halloween Song

A few years back I wrote about my love for the song "Monster Mash". That hasn't changed. As far as "Halloween" music goes, "Monster Mash" is one of the few good songs that people should all listen to during this holiday. Most of the other music played this time of year is nonsensical to me. Everyone tries to put some spooky sounds or add spooky words and it makes the song even worse in my opinion. But "Monster Mash" is a solid hit, a bop as my son would say. But there is one other Halloween song that I want to shout out today, and it is kind of perfect because it is almost exactly the same as "Monster Mash".

I'm an avid podcast fan as you all know, and you all know about my love for "Comedy Bang! Bang!". It is still my favorite podcast of all time. During Halloween they used to do episodes entitled "Hell House". These were some of my favorites. I'm not much on Halloween, especially when I stopped trick or treating. I don't like to dress up, I don't like being scared, I would rather run around than walk and stop at house to house and I have never been much of a partier. That has changed a little since my kids were born. I like to walk around with my daughter and her friends and I like that my teenager is doing teenager things for Halloween. And the music, as you all know, is not for me. But at least I had these hilarious episodes of "CBB" to listen to during Halloween.

From time to time, Nick Wiger would show up near the end of these episodes. I'm a big time Nick Wiger fan. He is one of the funniest dudes in the podcast and writing world. He knows how to make jokes and how to present them so they work. I love his main podcast "Doughboys" as well. So whenever I saw his name pop up as a guest on the "Hell House" episodes I would get stoked. Wiger's presence meant that he was going to be playing Leo Karpatze. Karpatze is an old timey singer/songwriter. He usually has one of his daughter's perform with him. And before he goes into his song we get to hear his backstory. And it always cracks me up. This all inevitably leads to Wiger as Karpatze talking about how he is the original writer of "Monster Mash". He claims to have done all the work, but Bobby "Boris" Pickett made it famous. He also claims that Pickett changed the whole idea of the song. Karpatze says that the song still revolved around monsters in his vision, but they were not at a mash, or a party. These monsters were much more lascivious and adult. I will not put any curse words in this blog moving ahead, but you all have to know that Wiger as Karpatze doing his version is incredibly filthy. Karpatze's version is actually called "The Monster F%^&", and it is about all of these monsters having what equates to an all out orgy. The song is vile and descriptive. Wiger puts in great detail what each monster is doing to one another. He paints a very vivid picture of what is going on. He did film a video for this song years ago, and that brought the whole thing to life. But what makes this song so amazing and fun for Halloween is Wiger's performance on each appearance of the "Hell House" episodes. He is so locked in and focused. He growls the song at times. He is intent on finishing without breaking, all the while he is trying to have every other person crack up while he sings. The many actors that have played his various daughters do a wonderful job of playing along. This song is filthy. It is downright disgusting. And yet I love to listen to it year round, but especially during the month of October. My wife and I will walk around the house when just the two of us are home and sing random lyrics. I have listened to it multiple times already leading up to this Halloween. I still prefer "Monster Mash", but "Monster F%^&" is a very, very close second.

I implore everyone to give it a listen, but just know going in that the song is very, very not safe for work. Now if you'll excuse me I think I'm going to give it a listen before the kiddos get home and I have to take them out to trick or treat. Happy Halloween everyone.  

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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The "Monster Mash" is a Bright Spot in the Halloween Season

Even the Fremont Troll is in for the "Monster Mash"

Happy Halloween. Please enjoy this post from holidays past. The article was originally posted on October 31st, 2016.

I'm not the biggest fan of Halloween. I think that I've made that pretty clear on this website and podcast. Halloween died for me the day my parents told me, at 13, that I was too old to go trick or treating anymore. I couldn't argue with them, they were right. Who was I fooling by going out there with my football jersey on, that's right, it was my jersey, not some NFL or college players jersey, and trying to get free candy from strangers. It felt weird doing that, as a teenager. I've also never been one for dressing up, be it in costume, for a party, a funeral, a wedding, basically any fancy occasion. I like to wear t shirts and jeans, cargo shorts or athletic shorts. That is what is most comfortable, so that is what I feel like I should wear. So, the idea of putting on a costume or makeup or both, that is unappealing to me. Since 13, I have not been a fan of this "holiday". I also don't like being spooked, I hate scary movies, I don't like haunted houses and the puns made around this time of year are atrocious. Even with 2 small children, I still do not get into the spirit. Call me a curmudgeon, an old man, an angry old man, whatever, I just do not get excited for Halloween. I do go out and trick or treat with my children, I'm not a monster, but I'm always happy when it is over.

But, there is one thing, and probably the only thing, that I do like about Halloween. I like, neigh, I LOVE the song "Monster Mash" by Bobby Pickett. First off, I love the 50's/60's music sound. I love how genuine and nice and kind of dirty that it can get. I'm a big Buddy Holly fan. I love all the old time blues guys, think Robert Johnson. I'm just a big fan of that older sound of music. "Monster Mash" is the perfect representation of the goofy, yet extremely catchy sound of the 50's/60's rock/pop music.

The song is hilarious first off. The singer sings the song in a very deep, trying to sound scary but not pulling it off, voice that is unforgettable. The song also has background singers doing some of the best background work in spoof music history. The "ooh ah ooh"'s that sprinkle that song and the hushed vocals during the chorus are glorious. The music is trying to be spooky, but it comes off kooky, in the best possible way. The instruments and sounds are great. The bubbling cauldron at the beginning is great. Then, it's your typical 4/4 groove with 3 chords. The "Monster Mash", in its simplicity, is so much better than any Ramones song ever, and I will debate anyone for the length of time why I'm right about this.

Then there are the lyrics, my goodness, what a hilariously ridiculous song. Pickett sets the table beautifully from the start. He paints a very real depiction of a goofy Halloween story. The first line, "I was working in the lab, late one night/when my eyes beheld an eerie sight/for my monster from my slab began to rise/and suddenly to my surprise". Perfect. He is a mad scientist that had a late night, and Frankenstein I'm going to assume, awakes from his slumber. But, instead of attacking this scientist, the chorus lets us know that Frankenstein just wants to do the monster mash. They never tell us how to do the monster mash, but we do know that it is a graveyard smash, so I guess all the monsters at the graveyard can really boogie, but they can only do the monster mash. In the second verse, Pickett talks about how all the ghouls and monsters and vampires and the like come to him to get a jolt so they too can do the monster mash. It is so silly, yet so damn catchy. I'm humming it in my head as I type this. Then, after all the monsters get their jolt, they all proceed, along with Frankenstein, to do the monster mash, and we are led to believe that it is still a graveyard smash. In the third verse, we hear that every monster is there, including, the Wolfman, zombies, Dracula, and even Dracula's son. This dance has turned this graveyard into party central. And now, not only are they dancing the monster mash, they are singing it as well. These monsters are having the time of their lives, thanks to the monster mash. But, in a stunning twist during the fourth verse, Dracula wants to know why no one is doing the Translyvania Twist? Well Dracula, I'd like to know as well, and Pickett explains why in the next verse. The other monsters let him know that this is a strictly monster mash party, and at the next party they have, they will all gladly do the Translyvania Twist. Instead of getting angry and biting necks, Dracula is cool with this arrangement and goes back to the party. The "Monster Mash" ends with it's unforgettable chorus, and the song is over.

I really do truly love this song. I love the goofiness, the music, the vocals, everything. I think this song is great. It is an undeniable classic as well. Everyone spoofs it to. From the "Comedy Bang! Bang!" podcast to "The Simpsons", someone somewhere has a "Monster Mash" spoof that they are waiting to unleash. So, while Halloween may not be for me, at least I'll always have the "Monster Mash" to get me through it. Thanks Bobby Pickett.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is not quite as high on the sequel to "The Monster Mash", the unfortunate "Monster Swim". Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.