A Dirty Take on a Classic Halloween Song

A few years back I wrote about my love for the song "Monster Mash". That hasn't changed. As far as "Halloween" music goes, "Monster Mash" is one of the few good songs that people should all listen to during this holiday. Most of the other music played this time of year is nonsensical to me. Everyone tries to put some spooky sounds or add spooky words and it makes the song even worse in my opinion. But "Monster Mash" is a solid hit, a bop as my son would say. But there is one other Halloween song that I want to shout out today, and it is kind of perfect because it is almost exactly the same as "Monster Mash".

I'm an avid podcast fan as you all know, and you all know about my love for "Comedy Bang! Bang!". It is still my favorite podcast of all time. During Halloween they used to do episodes entitled "Hell House". These were some of my favorites. I'm not much on Halloween, especially when I stopped trick or treating. I don't like to dress up, I don't like being scared, I would rather run around than walk and stop at house to house and I have never been much of a partier. That has changed a little since my kids were born. I like to walk around with my daughter and her friends and I like that my teenager is doing teenager things for Halloween. And the music, as you all know, is not for me. But at least I had these hilarious episodes of "CBB" to listen to during Halloween.

From time to time, Nick Wiger would show up near the end of these episodes. I'm a big time Nick Wiger fan. He is one of the funniest dudes in the podcast and writing world. He knows how to make jokes and how to present them so they work. I love his main podcast "Doughboys" as well. So whenever I saw his name pop up as a guest on the "Hell House" episodes I would get stoked. Wiger's presence meant that he was going to be playing Leo Karpatze. Karpatze is an old timey singer/songwriter. He usually has one of his daughter's perform with him. And before he goes into his song we get to hear his backstory. And it always cracks me up. This all inevitably leads to Wiger as Karpatze talking about how he is the original writer of "Monster Mash". He claims to have done all the work, but Bobby "Boris" Pickett made it famous. He also claims that Pickett changed the whole idea of the song. Karpatze says that the song still revolved around monsters in his vision, but they were not at a mash, or a party. These monsters were much more lascivious and adult. I will not put any curse words in this blog moving ahead, but you all have to know that Wiger as Karpatze doing his version is incredibly filthy. Karpatze's version is actually called "The Monster F%^&", and it is about all of these monsters having what equates to an all out orgy. The song is vile and descriptive. Wiger puts in great detail what each monster is doing to one another. He paints a very vivid picture of what is going on. He did film a video for this song years ago, and that brought the whole thing to life. But what makes this song so amazing and fun for Halloween is Wiger's performance on each appearance of the "Hell House" episodes. He is so locked in and focused. He growls the song at times. He is intent on finishing without breaking, all the while he is trying to have every other person crack up while he sings. The many actors that have played his various daughters do a wonderful job of playing along. This song is filthy. It is downright disgusting. And yet I love to listen to it year round, but especially during the month of October. My wife and I will walk around the house when just the two of us are home and sing random lyrics. I have listened to it multiple times already leading up to this Halloween. I still prefer "Monster Mash", but "Monster F%^&" is a very, very close second.

I implore everyone to give it a listen, but just know going in that the song is very, very not safe for work. Now if you'll excuse me I think I'm going to give it a listen before the kiddos get home and I have to take them out to trick or treat. Happy Halloween everyone.  

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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