Relax Morrissey

Since we have been living with my folks I have not been able to stay as up to date on my regular TV shows. We still get to watch some from time to time. But, I have not seen one of my Sunday night shows in awhile. That means I have missed a good four or five episodes of "Bob's Burgers" and, most importantly, "The Simpsons".

Missing so much "Simpsons" is a bummer. I know I will catch up when we get back home, which should be in two weeks hopefully. But still, I miss my usual ritual of watching after having a real nice Sunday night dinner with my family. I especially am bummed for missing the most recent episode. I heard all about it, and I have been reading all the aftermath that has occurred since it aired. I am a fan of Benedict Cumberbatch, I adore Flight of the Conchords and Bret McKenzie and I have never listened, or wanted to listen, to any Morrisey music. So all the stuff I saw and heard prior to its airing had me excited. I like when "The Simpsons" does stuff like this. I like when they make fun of an aging star, especially one that clearly cannot take a joke. So for them to go at Morrisey, and it remains to be seen for me if it was purposeful, I was totally on board. I am even more on board after seeing how he reacted, and all the stuff he has said since. I guess he wasn't too pleased and said some things. I believe he called the writers hurtful and racist. I even saw that he was going to pursue a lawsuit, but he doesn't have the money to do it apparently. That is so goddamn funny to me. Morrissey seems pretty holier than thou, that he takes himself far too seriously, that he thinks he is above criticism, that he thinks he can say whatever he wants but no one else can, basically he seems like a real downer. He seems like a guy that would be a real drag to simply talk to. He seems like no fun. He is the real life version of Debbie Downer.

This isn't the first time, nor the last I imagine, that "The Simpsons" has gone after a famous person like this. They did this to George Bush, and he seemed to take it in stride. They also made fun of Gerald Ford in that very same episode, and I didn't hear Ford complaining about it at all. Those are two presidents. They made Michael Jackson out as a humongous white person that resided in an insane asylum. He didn't say a word. There was an episode with a ton of pro athletes, including guys like Yao Ming, Tom Brady and LeBron James, and they did their own voices. They had no problem poking fun at themselves. Even famous people that are total recluses, like Jasper Johns. He wears a bag over his head, he makes jokes at his own expense and he has been on more than once. If Jasper Johns can take the joke, why does Morrissey think he is above the poking fun that has been a cornerstone of "The Simpsons"?

I think it is plain and simple, and I have already mentioned it. He is a sad sack of a human being. He is a bummer. He is an asshole. He is miserable. He is no fun to be around. I'm sure the people in his circle thought this episode was hilarious, but they have to make a big fuss or else Morrissey will be upset. I would go as far to think that even his fans found it kind of funny. But not Morrissey. He has to be the wet blanket. He has to be the lone dissenting voice. He has to make a fit. He has to be the child.

I am so excited to watch this episode now, and I am prepared to laugh and laugh and laugh. And while I am rolling on the floor, I will think about how Morrissey wanted to file a lawsuit, but that he doesn't have the money to do it. That is the funniest part of this whole thing to me. He was once a star, once an uber famous person, and now he cannot even afford to file a suit. That is a riot. As for "The Simpsons", I hope they continue to do what they do best and skewer pop culture. I know they will, and it makes me even happier knowing that this means they will probably go after Morrisey again, possibly soon. One can hope.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Ty Watches "Superstore" Series Finale

My wife and I decided we were going to watch "Superstore" about two months ago. We were looking for something new, something we hadn't watched yet, and we wanted it to be light and funny.

I had heard good things about Superstore, I am a big Colton Dunn fan and Justin Spitzer, the creator of the show, did some very wonderful things on the American "Office". So we started it and we couldn't stop watching. One episode a night turned to two, then three, then we were clocking five or six a day. Since she has been working from home, we would watch an episode during lunch, then one at dinner with the kids, then sometimes four more after they went to bed. The episodes are 22 minutes long, so we could blow through five or six a day with ease we found out quickly. In doing this we got caught up very fast. We found ourselves waiting to watch new episodes on Hulu very fast. We got to a point where we could watch it in real time if we wanted. We still opted for Hulu.

“Superstore” was so well done. It was funny, but also poignant. The way they tackled issues, issues that come from working in a big business with big corporate people that may or may not even know who their employees are, it was done very well with much needed humor. The stuff with unions and strikes, that was relatable. Having a character being undocumented, and going through his journey, that was eye opening. The inter store politics and fights and hook ups, I loved it all. I found the show so easy to watch because it was so well made. They even tackled systemic racism and the pandemic nearly perfect. Their racism episode was dynamite. The way they handled the last season, all of which was during this pandemic that is still raging, was very well done. My family finally decided we were ready to finish the show a few days back. They had their series finale and we were putting it off because I did not want to stop watching. I know I can always go back, but I will never get the first time viewing ever again.

So we sat down and watched the two part finale. I loved it. I think the way they tied everything up, the way they pretty much finished everyone's story, it felt right to me. For people that watch the show, they know what I am talking about. Glenn reopened his hardware store and hired Mateo and Cheyenne. That was so fitting for so many reasons. Jonah and Amy got back together after Amy quit and moved back home. I was hoping this was going to happen, they were the best couple, and they should have ended up together. The show made us wait, but it was worth it. Dina took over the fulfillment center that Cloud 9 turned into, and hired her five best workers. She had Marcus and Sandra and Justine among the five, and it was nice to see them all still together. Dina also ended up with Garrett, which was super fitting. Hell, they may even beat out Jonah and Amy as the best couple. Garrett's speech that he gave, as the original Cloud 9 was closing, that was a perfect summation of the greatness of this show and I loved the moments they replayed for all of us to see and remember. It was so fitting that Garrett gave the speech too. I liked seeing everyone's interview when they first got their jobs at the store. I like the flashback stuff. I like seeing the characters before they became the people the show wanted them to become. And that barbeque scene at the very end, where everyone is together was so sweet and made me optimistic for the first time in a long time during this pandemic. They were all together hanging out, having fun, their kids were playing together, they were eating food together. It made me opine for the time before COVID when we could do it. It also made me realize that we will get to that point someday soon, hopefully.

I thought this was a great way to end such a great show. I will miss it. I will also most definitely be watching the Cheyenne and Bo spinoff show that is apparently in the works. "Superstore" was an under the radar show that I think will find a great second life on streaming services. It will become like "Friends" or "The Office" when more people, younger people, find it. "Superstore" was a classic, and it ended almost perfectly. I was very pleased with it all.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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A Shout Out to All the Soap Opera Actors

We are entering week three of living with my folks. Our house is still being worked on, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. They placed concrete where the new room will be, they were putting up 2X4's everywhere, and there is only one big excavator in our yard, as opposed to the three that were there last week. They're moving along. And I am not complaining about living with my mom and dad. We are close, my wife gets along with both my parents swimmingly and my kids adore their mimi and papa. It is getting to a point where it is fine, but I would still rather be in my home. Unfortunately, for the time being, that isn't on the table.

One interesting thing I have noticed in these two plus weeks is the shows my folks watch during the day. I usually do not have the TV on during the day until my son gets home from school. But both my parents are retired, and they like TV. In the morning it is news or "The Middle". Side note, as soon as I get back in my home, I am going to watch the entirety of "The Middle". That show is solid, at least the bits and pieces I have seen thus far. But every weekday at 1pm both my parents watch "General Hospital". And if they are not home at 1, they record it and watch later. I have never been much for soap operas. It is not my thing. It is too dramatic and silly and wild and ridiculous. The stories are like what you see on "Maury Povich", but with beautiful people. This is not to say that I am some kind of fancy TV watcher who only likes "real" TV shows. I watch mindless reality TV. I am all in on "90 Day Fiancé" because it is so trashy. I love cartoons. One of my all time favorite shows is "Aqua Teen Hunger Force". I like weird, absurd TV. I am not above soap operas, they are just not for me.

In watching these shows, well they only watch "General Hospital", I have a newfound appreciation for the actors on the show. I have to assume they know how ridiculous the plot lines are, how insane some of the stories can be, how funny some of the conclusions are, but they all commit. I remember when James Franco was on "General Hospital" because I would go back and watch only his scenes on YouTube. And you know what, the character he played, named Franco, is still on the show, someone else plays him now, and all the actors act like it is totally normal. I respect that. They could make weird inside jokes about it, but they don't. They just all accept the fact that "Franco" is still on the show, even though it is some random actor. And for the actors, this has to be a plum gig. I'm sure they get paid very well, they get to do wild and crazy things, they get to chew as much scenery as one can imagine and they can stretch their acting legs. Yes, it is crazy, but if you are trying to break into Hollywood, what better way than to start out on a soap opera. Or, if you are someone who has achieved James Franco level fame, why not take a chance to do something different? Or if you are an older actor, some of the people on this show look familiar to me as far back as when I was in my 20's and they are still on, why not stay with a job that you are comfortable with, and one where you can make a nice living? My mom has even informed me that this show wins all kinds of daytime Emmys. I think award shows are lame, but when shows win, that usually means they have some kind of value, some level of achievement in Hollywood. It is nothing to scoff at, that is for sure. And my parents follow the many different storylines like I did when I watched "The Wire" or "Breaking Bad". They are just as involved. I asked my dad about a week back to explain the show to me, and he went on a 15 to 20 minute long speech, telling me the entire plot of the show over the whole year. He may act like he doesn't like the show, but he at least pays attention, and that says something to me about this show.

So while I am not a fan of soap operas, and will most likely not revisit them when we get back in my house, I do respect and appreciate what the people who make shows are doing. They have a tried and true method, and it has never stopped working. That is important.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Ty Watches Brian Regan's New Special "On the Rocks"

The other day I sat down, in between the movies I have been watching, and I watched Brian Regan's new Netflix Special, "On the Rocks". Brian Regan is one of my all time favorite stand up comedians. He is a lightning bolt. He is a force on stage. His facial gestures, the way he uses his body for his comedy, the way he uses his voice, it all works. He is also clean, which is an accomplishment, although it shouldn't be, and he still seems to absolutely crush every time he is on stage. He also keeps politics out of his act, which is smart and endearing of him.

Again, Brian Regan is simply one of the absolute best, and this special is fantastic. It is quick, funny, moving and perfect. It was also shot during the pandemic, which is wild. Apparently they made it in Utah, and there seemed to be about 100 or maybe 200 people in the audience, all of which were masked, and it is probably the first of its kind, with more of them to come. It was crazy to see all the masked fans, but I will say, it actually made me feel oddly comfortable. This is the new reality we live in, and this is as safe as a performer can make a stand up show now, and most definitely in the future.

This special was filled with classic Brian Regan bits, facial gestures and all. I was a bit on the fence about this special, I haven't heard much from Regan in the past few years, but he showed why he is one of the greats. From the moment he walked on stage with a full head of gray hair, to talking about his newfound OCD and anxiety, to his social anxiety, to his love for mayo, all the way to his impression of the person who invented the bagpipes, it was all hilarious. The gray hair was a perfect start. He mentioned it right away, talked about how COVID forced him to stop dying his hair, which made for a great bit inside a bit, and got it immediately out of the way, and did it very funnily. I loved the OCD and anxiety stuff. As a person who has both of those, it was nice to hear someone make a joke about it, to not take it so seriously but to recognize it. I loved the stuff about bookshelves. I have taken the exact tests he mentions in the special. I feel the same way about things that he talks about. I check the stove every night for example. The social anxiety was just as good. Hearing him try to shoehorn his way into conversations is exactly how I felt pre COVID. Those party going situations with strangers make me so uncomfortable, and to hear how Regan deals with it, I was rolling. When he talks about the lady who says that animals are smarter than people, that was my absolute favorite part of the special. The mayo bit I feel like was written for my wife. He loves mayo so much that he had to make a resolution around it. I have made that joke to my wife before. And when he described how he dealt with this, it was gross, but also one of the funniest things I have heard. And that closer about the bagpipes, it was classic Regan. He did facial stuff, he used his body, he used his limbs. When he performed this joke it was talking, but also very visual, and it worked like a charm. It was funny and goofy and silly and classic.

It was nice to see a new stand up special from one of my favorites, and one of the best stand up comedians of all time. Go check it out. You can watch it with your kids, and they will find it funny. You will also get to see one of the all time greats crushing at their profession. Watch this. It is well worth your time.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Ty Rewatches "Saved By the Bell: The College Years"

In listening to the podcast "Zack to the Future", and rewatching old episodes of "Saved by the Bell", and also finishing up a book called "Zack Morris Lied 329 Times", I recently decided I wanted to go back and watch "The College Years" again. I did watch it when it was first on, in syndication, and I remember thinking that it was not as good as the original, but thinking it was just fine. Well this rewatch, and yes we finished the whole season, all nineteen episodes, in about four days, showed me a whole new light, and it was not great.

"The College Years" just does not have the juice that the original had. It isn't as campy or funny or goofy or enjoyable. It is just more recycled nonsense, but this time around they are in college, and I kept saying, they are too old for these stunts. Zack still acts like he is in high school. I know he is only a freshman, but his whole schtick, his antics, his attitude, it is so much more trashy than when he was in high school. People are supposed to grow as they get older, supposed to find new meaning, become the person they will be for the rest of their lives. Zack does none of this. He is still scheming, conniving, womanizing and, quite frankly, kind of pathetic. He has one line when he talks about a girl he likes dating someone they said is cooler than him, and he says, "cooler than me? No one is cooler than me". Dude, you are in a college with thousands of other people, some of which are most assuredly cooler than he is. Hell, he lives with Slater, and Slater is at school on a sports scholarship. His roommate is cooler than him. When Kelly shows up in episode 2, she is cooler than him. The fact that he wants to be in a fraternity so bad makes all the independents cooler than him. I could go on and on.

I really like Mark Paul Gosselear, and seeing where he is at now in his career makes me appreciate him so much more, but he is no good as Zack in "The College Years". He is just kind of blah and boring and repetitive. At least Slater has wrestling, a job, starts to celebrate his heritage, dates someone totally different from him. Slater shows growth from high school to college. He also, for the most part, stays out of the shenanigans. But, he is kind of boring in this iteration of the show. Screech is still geeky and weird, but he gets a girl on his own, joins a frat on his own, helps take care of a monkey and excels in school. Screech would go places in real life. But, again, he is so doofy and dumb, especially for someone as smart as his character is supposed to be. Kelly, when she shows back up, is seemingly down for all new experiences. She works at the school hospital, she is a waitress, she dates a professor and she resists Zack, at least for a bit. But she still succumbs to his "charm", and picks him over the hundreds of other guys, who would have been way better for her in the long run. Leslie, Alex and Bob are just filler. Leslie starts as a love interest for Zack, but that ends as soon as Kelly shows up. Alex is annoying and a stereotypical theater major and chews far too much scenery. Bob is supposed to be the new Belding, but, and I can't believe I'm saying this, he is not nearly as funny or charming as Dennis Haskins.

"The College Years" tried to stick to the method that was so successful in high school, but you have to remember, these kids are college kids. High school nonsense doesn't fly. Professors cannot order students to their office. They cannot force kids to come to class. Zack wouldn't be able to get away with his usual chicanery. I love "Saved by the Bell". Believe me. But I think that is the only version of the show I will still watch, especially with how rough "The College Years" was on rewatch. It is not very good. At all.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Ty Watches the Super Bowl

The Super Bowl came and went with a whimper last night. Tampa Bay crushed Kansas City. It was close for about one quarter. The Chiefs got called for an exuberant amount of first half penalties, many of which I thought were pretty bad calls. The refs cleaned it up in the second half, and the game went pretty smooth after that. But, even with the refs making some bad calls, this game was not as close as I hoped it would be.

I assumed we would get a high scoring, shootout type of game. The Bucs did their part, but the Chiefs were stifled. The Bucs defense was dominant last night. And I know people will say that the Chiefs didn't have their two starting tackles, and that Mahomes is hurt, but that did not affect them at all in the playoffs until last night. The Bucs got constant pressure, they negated the Chiefs run game, they had Mahomes running for his life all night and they picked him off twice. They also did not give up one TD, which I believe is the first time that has happened to the Chiefs since Mahomes took over as the starter. This was also the first time he was beaten by double digits in the NFL. The Bucs D should have won a team MVP last night. They were awesome. This goes to show that Todd Bowles is a good coach. The Bucs offense did all the right stuff after their first two drives. They went three and out twice, then they figured it out. Byron Leftwich orchestrated an exceptional game plan after those first two drives, and the Bucs pretty much did whatever they wanted. They had receivers and tight ends streaking down the field constantly, and they were wide open. Leonard Fournette and Ronald Jones Jr ran with power and had gaping holes to plow through. This was a dominant effort. Tom Brady did what he has always done. He was efficient, focused and managed the game perfectly. He executed Leftwich's plan to a T.

I do not like Tampa, not at all. I haven't liked them ever. But, the proof was out on the field that they were the better, more prepared team last night. Also, I questioned Brady's choice to sign with Tampa. I was obviously wrong. I think there is no question he is the best QB to ever play in the NFL.

As for the Chiefs, this is going to happen from time to time. They did have key injuries. Mahomes was not 100 percent. They relied on a rookie running back. With dynasties, and yes the Chiefs are on the cusp of being one, games like this are going to happen. New England did not win every Super Bowl they played in. Peyton Manning won two, but he also lost two. The Cowboys have a ton of titles, but they have playoff lapses too. The Packers have the same. With a team on the brink of a dynasty, especially in football, games like this are par for the course. But make no mistake, they got whooped. Mahomes even said as much. They were outmatched and thoroughly beaten. But do I think they will be back in the Super Bowl before Tampa? Yes. They are still the favorites in the AFC every year they have a healthy Patrick Mahomes. I think they should be the favorites for the Super Bowl in 2022. They are that good. They had a rough game last night, and were beaten by a better team. But that doesn't change the fact that they are young and super, super talented.

As for the other stuff, this whole Super Bowl "experience" was indicative of 2020, and the beginning of 2021. We had no one at our house to watch. The food was excellent, just not as plentiful. The commercials, save for a very few, were all kind of dull. I am not a fan of The Weekend, and while his show looked neat, I did not think it was a hall of fame performance. I do appreciate that his dancers were masked, even if it was just for affect. The anthem was fine. The poet, I did think she was amazing. The post game stuff was very blah, as was the game itself. I am astonished that the NFL got a full season in, that there were no stoppages or shut downs and that they played a Super Bowl. But the game, and pretty much everything surrounding it was not that exciting or interesting. I'd say the two best things for me were the poet and the pulled pork sliders my wife made. Everything else was very forgettable.

Anyway, congrats to the Bucs, and Chiefs fans, don't get too upset, you guys will be back very, very soon.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Ty Watches "WandaVision"

"WandaVision" might be one the best new shows to ever be on TV. I was going to watch this show no matter what. I am a Marvel fan, I like most of the movies, I fully believe that Marvel is better than DC and they have done some interesting stuff these past couple years. I like the direction they have gone with the "Thor" movies, "Guardians of the Galaxy" is super cool and most of the "X-Men" movies, especially "Logan", are pretty awesome. So I just assumed that "WandaVision" was going to be, at the very least, watchable.

It is so much more than that. This show is one of the coolest, most unique and interesting things that TV has ever produced. I will not spoil anything, at least not try to, moving forward. When I read about the show I was intrigued. Then I saw some trailers, very short trailers, I was even more on board. Then this past weekend, me, my wife and our son decided we were going to watch all four episodes that have been released. These four episodes are amazing. I love the concept of the show. My son was confused as to why the first episode was in black and white. We explained to him that TV back in the 50's was all black and white. Oh, by the way, the show is done like old school TV sitcoms. The first episode was the 50's, then the 60's, then the 70's. The fourth was where they shifted, to modern times, and that was one of the best, and most essential, episodes in modern TV. Wanda and Vision are barely in it, but we get a look at what is going on in the outside world, the real world.

Prior to the fourth episode though, we have been given three very cool, very eye opening stuff. I also think there have been plenty of easter eggs dropped in so far. I am not totally up on all the stuff I am sure I am missing, but knowing Marvel, they are dropping stuff in left and right. Anyway, in that first episode, we have the 50's set. Wanda and Vision live in a town called Westfield, and they are just trying to be everyday citizens. They still have their powers, but otherwise, Vision has a job, Wanda makes friends around the neighborhood, and they are trying to live a "normal" life. But weird things start to come up. There are moments when you can hear people talking to Wanda. There are splashes of color in the premiere. There are things that come up that make it seem like this world may not be real. That continues into the second and third. More and more things happen, but it is all underscored by some wild things that are happening. Wanda keeps hearing these voices. She keeps seeing things that make her snap. She suddenly gets pregnant out of nowhere. Vision is starting to ask questions. He wants to understand what is going on. The people in the town seem to be in on some weird plotline that we haven't been cued into yet. Speaking of the neighbors, Kathryn Hahn is really, really good on this show, and I am stoked to see where they take this character. I'm also very interested in what is going to happen next, after the fourth episode. A bunch of stuff came to light in that one, and it is going to make for a very interesting close to the first season.

I do hope they continue to make more and more because this, as I have said before, is one of the coolest TV shows ever created. This is showing how smart and interesting and willing to take chances the Marvel company is right now with the properties they have. I like this show more than the last two "Avengers" movies, which I love. I am more interested in the outcome of this season than I was for the season one finale of "The Good Place". which is one of the best finales ever. "WandaVision" has so, so much potential, they are realizing it early, which is great, and I am just so pumped to watch from here on out. Check out this show, you will not be disappointed. This show is truly, truly amazing.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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RIP Dustin Diamond

Earlier today I was outside with my daughter while she rode her wheel cart and RD texted me, "pour one out for Screech".

I was surprised, to say the least. I knew he was sick. I knew a few weeks back they had rushed him to the hospital and it was kind of a secret as to what was going on. Then it was released that he had stage 4 lung, or maybe throat, cancer. But by all accounts, as of less than two weeks ago, he seemed to be in recovery. Everyone around him said he was doing chemo, and they had hoped it was working.

Apparently it did not. I guess, from what I have read since receiving that text, was that the cancer was very dangerous and that it spread very quickly throughout his whole body. His reps said that the only good thing to come from this was that he died fast and wasn't in a "pool of pain". That sounds brutal to me.

Now that I have had a couple of hours to sit on this info, and I even talked to my wife about it, it feels pretty goddamn weird to be writing, basically, a "tribute" to Dustin Diamond. He was an actor, as a child, that I adored. I watched "Saved by the Bell" pretty religiously as a kid. I didn't get up to watch on Saturday's when it first aired, but syndication was my jam. I would watch it for two hours some days, if I was lucky enough to catch the TNT and TBS blocks. I devoured the show in my tweens, and even into my teens and early 20's. I know every episode from the four high school seasons, I can quote most of them, and Screech was probably my favorite character, at least as a kid. He made me laugh, he was goofy, he dressed wild and he was smart. I even thought he was kind of cool, and I loved his pursuit of Lisa. As I got older, and still watched the show, maybe even more so when RD and I lived together, I saw it with different eyes, but Screech was still the funniest. Only this time around I laughed at him, and then realized that I had been laughing at him even when I was a kid. He was the main character that got dumped on by everyone on the show. He was the butt of the jokes. Even when he would get the girl, or do something helpful, it was always backhanded, or made out as a joke. Screech wasn't this funny, smart kid I looked up to on the show as a child. He was the nerd, the doofus, the one everyone made fun of. I still stuck with him, even going so far as to wear Zubaz pants when RD and I had a day we dedicated to Screech. But as I look back on it now, Screech wasn't cool, he was the dork, point blank. I very sparingly watched the "College Years", and I think I only saw maybe a handful of "The New Class", but it was more of the same with Screech. He never really evolved on the show.

After “Saved By the Bell” his personal life became more of the thing, and he did not seem like the best person in the world. He released a sex tape, which he later said he used a "double" for the sex. Okay, whatever. Then he wrote a tell all book, which he then confessed was written by a ghost writer, and half, if not more, of the stories were false. That's kind of pathetic. Then he went the reality show route, and he was always cast, or trying to be, the villain. It didn't work, and he couldn't pull it off. Anytime he got into it with someone, I would always say, "Screech is about to get his ass kicked". This is partly him, for being an asshole, but me also, for typecasting him in my head as Screech. He never changed from the character I watched growing up, so that was who he always was to me, and a lot of other people. The nail in the coffin was when he was in a bar fight that involved a stabbing, and he was arrested and put in jail for, I believe, three years. That wiped any, of which there may have been none, respect that I had left for Dustin Diamond. It all went out the window, and it seemed that way with his former castmates, and even some friends he had made. I know he did a tell all thing with Oprah Winfrey in 2013 where he tried to clean things up, and did a similar thing with Mario Lopes three years later, but the damage had been done, and he was, quite frankly, a dirtbag in my opinion.

Yet it is a bummer when someone dies so young. He didn't get COVID or anything like that either. This wasn't because he was being careless. He unfortunately got a very serious form of cancer that cut his life way, way too short. I know I have been dumping on him this whole blog, but that is a crummy way for a person to go out. Yes he wasn't a good person, but he wasn't some kind of monster that did awful things to people. All of his harm was self inflicted. So while I do not feel about him like I did with Kobe Bryant, or someone I truly adore like MF Doom, it is still a shock and a bummer when someone I watched growing up dies so young. He was only six years older than me. That is crazy.

RIP Dustin Diamond. You lived a wild and crazy life, but Screech will live on forever, and I guess you made the most of your time here.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Best of 2020: Top Five Television Shows

TV was pretty solid this year.

It really was the highlight of 2020.

You do not believe me? Let’s discuss.

There was a lot of great television to choose from, and a good amount of it was okay. There was some early quarantine stuff that, when I look back on it now, was not as great as I thought it was at the time. Think "Tiger King" and "Love is Blind". Those shows were a nice distraction, but looking back, they were not great by any stretch of the imagination. They were more crummy reality TV shows that let me forget how crazy the world was, and still is. But, there was good stuff, just mostly already good shows that had really good seasons. That is how I viewed my choices this year. There is only one brand new show on my list, but that show is the best of the year. The rest are all shows that are already established. Let's get to the list.

At number five I have season two of "What We Do in the Shadows". The movie was amazing, and the show is pretty damn good. The first season was a nice homage to the movie. The second season really went out on its own. They explored each character. They gave us great one off episodes of two main characters. The episode that focused on Colin Robinson, the energy vampire, was one of the best episodes of TV in decades. They were able to follow that up with the "Jackie Daytona" episode, featuring an excellent cameo from Mark Hamill. "What We Do in the Shadows" got exponentially better in season two, and season one was great. The stuff with Guillermo, further looking into his vampire hunting past, ended with a tremendous conclusion. I loved this season, and I cannot wait to see where they go with the third.

At number four I have season two of "The Mandalorian". I am a newly minted "Star Wars" fan, but "Rogue One" and "The Mandalorian" are pretty exceptional. Season two of the show gave us Baby Yoda's real name. We got some kick ass fight scenes. Boba Fett reappeared. The episode with Ashoka Tano was epic. And anytime Giancarlo Esposito showed up on screen, I knew some wild stuff was about to happen. We got to see cool space monsters and other inhabitants of this world, and that is always fun for me. I read they had some on set drama, but none of that showed in the final product. And that surprise at the end of the season ranks right up there with some of the best TV season finales ever. "The Mandalorian" is a great show, with a solid cast and really cool story writing. It is an old west style show shot in outer space. I'm curious to see where they go with season three, but I bet it will be great.

At number three I have season 10 of "Curb Your Enthusiasm". Sure, it gets kind of annoying waiting on a new season of "Curb", but when you come up with the comedy that Larry David does, all that goes away. This most recent season rules. All the stuff with Susie and Jeff is great, and it went to a new level of greatness this season. The episode with the painting was hilarious. The wedding episode with Timothy Olyphant was cringey in the best possible way. The stuff with Cheryl and Larry was tremendously funny. Ted Danson was sparsely on, but when he was he was great. But the spite coffee store was the creme de la creme. Larry deciding to do this, with Leon's help, is what makes this show so funny and so incredible. The writing, and improvising, is second to none. Larry David proved why he is one of the greatest people ever to do what he does. He has entered the pantheon of people that really can do no wrong. I know they are making an 11th season as we speak, and I am sure they will find a way to make COVID funny. David might be the only person capable of accomplishing that.

At number two I have season four of "Fargo". "Fargo" is a great show, with great connecting storylines. Season 4 kind of connected all the previous seasons. This was the first one that didn't take place in the North, instead heading to Kansas City. But, there was mention of Fargo, and the show was as captivating as previous seasons, if not more so. Chris Rock was the head of one crime family, the new one, going up against Jason Schwartzmann's already established crew. How they weaved both families stories together was perfect, and the addition of outside characters was done so well. Nurse Mayflower was frightening. The high school student that lived in a mortuary clearly was running things near the end. The sister and her girlfriend, the robbers, were so good. Timothy Olyphant, his second appearance on my list, was charming as hell. The way Noah Hawley does this show, the way it is written and the people he gets to act are so good and so game for anything that is thrown at them. And as I said before, the way they tied previous seasons to this one was done so well. The very last scene of this season was too perfect. "Fargo" is one of the best shows on TV right now, and I hope FX continues to do more.

Speaking of FX, and how I previously mentioned I only had one new show on my list, coming in at number one is the FX show "Dave". I am a Lil Dicky fan. I like his music. I do not think he is a joke or parody rapper, I just think he writes funny lyrics, but is a genuinely good rapper. I did not know what to expect from his show, and boy did it knock me on my ass in the best possible way. The show is a comedy, but like most things on FX, it deals with some heavy shit. Dave is trying to make it, but it is hard for him. He tells his story on this show, and he gets other people involved. Gata, his buddy and hype man, is all wild and fun, but he is bipolar. The episode that reveals this is a very well told, raw story of bipolar disorder. Dave's old camp buddies come to see him perform live, and while they have him doing jokey things, we find out that his old friends are assholes that took advantage of him. Dave soon realizes this too. His friend and engineer wants to make it in the music business, but his anxiety and self doubt gets in the way. Dave treats his girlfriend like shit, and when she finally calls him out on it, and breaks up with him, I was heartbroken for them both. This show was able to perfectly toe the line of drama and comedy. They did such a good job. And the way it catches you totally off guard is how any good show should hit you. I was on the fence about this show, but damn am I glad I watched it, and have watched it multiple times since. I highly, highly recommend people check it out. It will surprise you.

That does it for TV. Come back tomorrow for my top five sports moments of 2020.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing Classic: Advent Calendar of Holiday Television Programs: Day 23 - "Seinfeld - The Strike"

ed note: This article was first published on December 18th, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we are looking back at the great holiday music, movies, television episodes, and food of this great season. Enjoy

Day 23 "Seinfeld - The Strike"

Original air date - December, 18th 1997 

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen,  Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty, Twenty-One, Twenty-Two

For SeedSing's Advent Calendar of great holiday television shows, today, I'm going to write about the "Festivus" episode of "Seinfeld". I know the episode is called "The Strike", but lets be honest, I think we all know this as the Festivus episode. The Festivus episode of "Seinfeld" ranks right up there with any "Simpsons", "The Office" or any other TV show we have written about for the Advent calendar. In fact, I'm going to say that the Festivus episode of "Seinfeld" is the best holiday television show ever. I may quote "The Simpsons" more, or laugh at "The Office" more, but this particular episode of "Seinfeld" has literally changed the way I view the holiday. Today marks Festivus, and I will be airing grievances, showing feats of strength and getting the big pole out for this wonderful pre holiday holiday. 

The episode starts off funny. We all learn that Kramer was/is a worker in a bagel shop, and the strike that he has been seemingly on for years, has ended. Funny right off the bat. The whole thing with the bagel shop, and Kramer's past, and now present, are all classic "Seinfeld". We also get another story involving Elaine giving some creeps a phony phone number and there is some wackiness that happens with this plot line throughout. But, the true gem of the episode is when George's dad tells the world of the joyous day of Festivus.

We learn that when George was a kid, his dad was in line waiting to get him a toy, a doll in fact, and someone else got the last one. He pleaded and prodded the person to give him the doll, but they just would not budge. This caused Frank to lose his mind. He got very, very upset, as he almost always does.  This was when and where he Frank decided he needed to have a "holiday for the rest of us", and thus, Festivus was born. He decided that everyone needs to do many things to make themselves feel a bit better during this holiday season.

Let's be honest, this time of year brings out the anxiety and anger in the best of us. The holiday season can be pretty rough. So, the fact that Frank came up with a holiday where everyone can air their grievances, I love it. I wish this was a real thing and people would not get upset at the outcome. Imagine how nice it would be to tell everyone how you feel, but with the caveat that they cannot get mad at you, and they are allowed to do the same. This would be terrific. To let it all out, that would feel great from both sides. I love that the Costanza's do this every year, because who has more grievances than the Costanza's? No one, that's who. Imagine Frank, Estelle and George sitting around airing their grievances, it must be magically hilarious.

Then, the feats of strength. This would be my absolute favorite. This gives you the chance to prove who is the strongest in your family. I would crush this part of Festivus (ed note: no he would not), and I think my whole family, while they might disagree at first, knows that I would dominate. Now, imagine once again, the Costanza's doing this. I can almost guarantee that Estelle would be the strongest in the family. She may not look it, but I think she would absolutely dominate George and Frank in a feats of strength competition. I bet George is also the weakest, even at everyone's advanced age. He is so meek and mean, but that is just his attitude, I'm sure that does not translate into actual strength.

Then, we have the Festivus pole, which is the alternative to the tree and menorah used during this time of year. It is just an unadorned pole that sits in your living room on December 23rd. It does nothing, but it adds so much to this episode. The fact that Frank just wanted an alternative to all the glitz and glamour of the holiday's is a perfect representation of Frank and the Costanza's. They do not conform to social norms at any times, and I love that.

What makes this episode even more wonderful is the fact that people have made Festivus a real holiday. This has become a real thing. At the time of its airing, it was just an idea that Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David and the "Seinfeld" writing crew came up with, but now, it is real. The computer hasn't proclaimed that I have spelled the word wrong once, there is actual written facts on the internet and most people actually celebrate the day. This has become a world wide, nationally celebrated holiday. I know for a fact that when I go see my family later today, we will celebrate some of the best parts of Festivus, and I cannot wait (ed note: also the fact that Ty will once again lose the feats of strength).

The fact that Festivus is a nationally recognized thing should be more than enough to get this episode on our list, but there are so many more reasons. It is a funny, goofy, Costanza heavy episode, which are usually the best that "Seinfeld" has to offer. While I love "The Simpsons", and it will always be my favorite show, this episode of "Seinfeld" is one of the best episodes of just general television, but it is also the best representation of this holiday that TV has ever put out. It is magnificent.

Go out and have a wonderful Festivus everyone. After all, it is a holiday for the rest of us.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Did we mention that Ty always loses the feats of strength. He does always lose. Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing Classic: Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 21 - "Saturday Night Live - TV Funhouse December 17th, 2005

ed note: This article was originally published on December 21st, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we are looking back at the great holiday music, movies, television episodes, and food of this great season. Enjoy.

Day 21 "Saturday Night Live - TV Funhouse December 17th, 2005"

Original air date - Read the title 

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen,  Fourteen, Fifteen, Sixteen, Seventeen, Eighteen, Nineteen, Twenty

We all need that special time where we rule the world. I can do no justice to the master work of Darlene Love and the people at TV Funhouse. 

Enjoy

RD 

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He also did not wait in line for King Kong on Christmas Day. He wish he had.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing: Classic: Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 16 "The Boba Fett Cartoon Featured in the Star Wars Holiday Special"

ed note: This article was originally published on December 16th, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we are looking back at the great holiday music, movies, television episodes, and food of this great season. Enjoy

Day 16: "The Boba Fett Cartoon Featured in the Star Wars Holiday Special"

Original air date - November 17th, 1978

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen,  Fourteen, Fifteen

Sometimes the thing we really want for Christmas turns out to not be that great. Maybe there was a big video game we were wishing for, and it was underwhelming. A new cool drone that crashes and breaks within ten minutes. A hoverboard that sets fire to your feet. Many times we have our heart set on something, and our anticipation is rewarded with shoddy craftsmanship. As we dig through the garbage that once was our wanted presents, we sometimes find something unexpected and spectacular.

It is well known that the Star Wars Holiday Special is an epic piece of trash. Premiering on November 17th, 1978, less than two years after the release of the original film, the holiday special was immediately greeted with disgust and disdain. George Lucas himself has wished for the destruction of every copy of the cash grab be destroyed. The story was idiotic, the guest stars were questionable, and the Tree of Life song was a special kind of stupid. The special only aired once, and has never been given a VHS, Betamax, DVD, or BluRay release. For almost two hours, the world was inflicted with holiday blues from a galaxy far far and away. It was mostly a major disappointment, except for a 10-minute cartoon smack dab in the middle.

"The Faithful Wookie" was a small animated feature that split apart the mind numbing stupidness of the Star Wars Holiday Spectacular. The animated short is most famous for introducing the bounty hunter Boba Fett into the Star Wars cannon. It is considered so influential that the 2011 BluRay release of The Empire Strikes Back has the cartoon remastered in high definition as an easter egg.

The adventure itself centers around Luke trying to rescue Han and Chewie from some McGuffin, and Boba Fett appearing as a helpful ally. The 1978 audience had never seen this character before and did not know what the armored man's motivations were. Unfortunately, we learn that Boba Fett is in contact with Darth Vader, and the bounty hunter is trying to set a trap for Han, Chewie, and Luke. The ever resourceful R2D2 catches Fett, and our new enemy uses his jet pack to escape, promising that they will all meet again. 

The ten-minute cartoon shows why Boba Fett has become one of the most popular figures in the Star Wars hall of heroes and villains. His armor is awesome. He uses the things on his wrist, and his jetpack. "The Faithful Wookie" features more dialogue from Boba Fett than what will come in the next two films. The adventure from our heroes is basic stuff, but the premier of this incredible new resident of a galaxy far far away was the only gift worth keeping from the Star Wars Holiday Special.

It is disappointing to get the new great thing and then learn it is a poorly constructed cash grab by some focus group driven idiots in a corporate office. The whole ordeal leaves a scar on what was once a favorite piece of pop culture. But, sometimes if we dig through the trash, we will find a gem. Sometimes that gem even comes in the mail with a rocket that shoots off of its back. If you find that gem, hold onto it, it is worth an obscene amount of money.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He was inspired to write this because he just got done seeing Rouge One. He is now hoping to get his very own Death Star engineer figurine in the mail any day now

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing Classic: Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 13 - "Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas!"

ed note: This article was originally published on December 13th, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we are looking back at the great holiday music, movies, television episodes, and food of this great season. Enjoy

Day 13: "Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas!"

Original air date - December 18th, 1966

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten, Eleven, Twelve

Sometimes there is something so popular, and for reasons one cannot explain, that thing will drive you insane. Ten years ago Justin Beiber was the big thing, and many people could not stand him. The same phenomenon is going on today with Taylor Swift. It is impossible to like anything from these pop culture sensations if you have invested so much of your heart in hating them. It does not matter if a large group of people like these things, your hatred is blind. The world you live in would be much better if someone took all of these songs and shoved them off of the highest mountain.

In 1966 Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! became an instant holiday classic. The previous year saw the debut of A Charlie Brown Christmas and two years earlier was the premier of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The mid-1960s was the golden age for holiday television specials. Since 1966, Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! has aired on television every year, winning its timeslot regularly. It has more than earned a spot as part of the holy trinity of must watch holiday specials.

For those living under a rock, the story centers around a lonely creature who has chosen to make residence directly above a group of people he hates. The Grinch is akin to a modern-day prepper. His cave is extremely well stocked with all the necessities. He has scissors, red cloth, a sleigh, anything a creature would need in the who apocalypse.

Yet even in his state of preparedness, The Grinch cannot stand the whos, he especially hates them around Christmas. The whos make an incredible racket, cook non-canned food stuff, and all blindly follow the brain dead joy of Christmas. The Grinch is on edge waiting for the end times, and his hate has become downright irrational. This year is the final straw, the Grinch is going to rob all the whos, and then they will know pain.

The Grinch succeeds in his thievery, but those weirdo whos still get up and have a festive Christmas. This breaks the Grinch's brain, and he decides his years of lonely prepping were pretty pointless. Not only does the Grinch get in the holiday spirit, but he learns that a freshly cooked roast beast is way better than a 10-year-old can of creamed corn. 

Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas!  was not just a perfect adaptation of a classic book, it also had a great look and incredible music. Animation legend Chuck Jones gave the special its look, classic Hollywood Frankenstein Boris Karloff told the story, and awesomely voiced Thurl Ravenscroft sang the iconic song. Of all the great Holiday television specials, Dr. Seuss' How the Grinch Stole Christmas! is the only one that is perfect.

It is a lonely existence to live in a world where one rejects what everyone else loves. There is no reason to fully embrace that piece of pop culture, but you should not totally dismiss it either. In all of the stuff you hate, there may be a shiny gem that made the journey worth while. If you will not give the popular thing a chance, then you are just a common hipster, or worse, a Grinch.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He was a little under the weather today so he mustered up the strength of ten bloggers, plus two, to get the article written.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Seedsing Classic: Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 11 - "The Twilight Zone: The Night of the Meek"

ed note: This article originally premiered on December 11th, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 11: "The Twilight Zone - The Night of the Meek"

Original air date - December 23rd, 1960

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight, Nine, Ten

Our lot in life helps determine our truest wish. Almost any good hearted person, rich or poor, will wish for kindness to all of their fellow citizens of earth. The wealthy will fulfill their wishes by giving to charity, donating their time, and finding other ways to enrich the poor. People who are at the bottom of the economic ladder will also want to help their fellow man, knowing that they are also part of this group that needs help. Some people who are very poor will be obsessed with helping their neighbors and do not have the means to achieve their wish. Many times these dreamers can only find their solace in the bottom of a bottle. If they, along with the rest of the meek, can not get at least one day of joy, then the dreamer can choose to weep or drink. Most of the time they drink.

In the second season of the influential television series, The Twilight Zone saw the first of the anthology series Christmas themed episodes. In "The Night of the Meek" Honeymooners actor Art Carney played the role of Henry Corwin. Narrator Rod Serling explains that Mr. Corwin is a normally unemployed man who once a year plays the role of Santa Claus at a local department store. Corwin starts the episode in a bar having finished six drinks and half a sandwich. When the bartender catches the department store Santa grabbing a bottle of booze, Corwin is kicked out into the snowy street on Christmas Eve. 

It was a good thing Corwin was kicked out of the bar, because he was an hour late to his job of being Santa at the department store. His boss, Mr. Dundee, is not pleased that his Santa is late and drunk as a skunk. Corwin can not even get through the first rotten child, terribly named Percival in the kids own mind, before he stumbles drunkenly out of his chair. Percival's obnoxious mother doubles her terribleness and tells off Mr. Dundee. With all the unpleasantness that just happened, Mr. Dundee fires Corwin's Santa and calls him a drunk. Corwin apologizes for his condition and explains to Mr. Dundee, and all the assembled children, that he has to drink or he will constantly weep. He is so saddened during the Christmas season to look around his tenement and see children who are hungry and have no toys to play with. Just once he would like to see the meek inherit the earth. Since that seems like an impossible dream, Henry Corwin must drink, or he will weep.

The audience witnessed Santa Corwin's weeping earlier when the poor children were asking for gifts, and for their daddies to have jobs. Knowing he has no choice to drink, Corwin heads back to the bar. The bartender will not let Corwin in because as he tells the other patrons, "Santa is a lush."

Left with nowhere to go, Corwin hears bells in the air and spots an old sack on the ground. He notices the sack is filled with presents and immediately goes out to search for the kids. Each kid asks for a particular gift, and Corwin delivers the exact wish. With his renewed holiday spirit, Santa Corwin heads to a church service at the mens shelter. After he insults Sister Florence with the promise of a new dress, Santa Corwin is giving all the poor men their exact wishes. A pipe, a cane, a sweater, a smoking jacket, all of it was magically coming out of Santa's bag. The meek were getting at least one day of joy.

The gift extravaganza ends when Sister Florence brings Officer Flaherty in to arrest Santa Corwin for theft. At the station Flaherty is joined by Mr. Dundee and the two men demand to know how and why Corwin robbed the department store. Santa Corwin is filled with joy as he explains that the bag just gives out the people's wishes. Mr. Dundee will not have it and starts berating Officer Flaherty while the store manager digs in the bag to only pull out empty cans and a confused cat. When Corwin asks Mr Dundee what his wish for Christmas is, the rude store manager says a vintage 1903 cherry brandy, that was a good year. Without fail, Santa Corwin produces the bottle and leaves to deliver more joy to the meek. 

In the end, one of Henry Corwin's fellow tenement dwellers remarks that there is nothing in the bag for Corwin. Santa Corwin responds he got the greatest gift of all, he was able to really be Santa for the night. With Corwin left alone, in pure and sober joy, he hears those bells again. As he goes to search out the sound, Corwin is presented with a reindeer-led sleigh and a joyful elf. The elf tells Santa that it is time to go and get ready for next year. Still confused, Santa Corwin gets in the sleigh and takes off towards the North Pole. Mr. Dundee, who is now drunk off of great cherry brandy, spots Corwin in the sky and offers cheers to Officer Flaherty for miracles on Christmas Day.

We all have our hopes and wishes around Christmas time. Those without want can usually fill their hearts with the spirit of the season by giving to any charity of their choice. The poor do not have this option. They see the want in kids and adults like and can only find solace in hard drink. They have their misery amplified by Christmas. But as mid-twentieth century philosopher Rod Serling says "There's a wondrous magic to Christmas and there's a special power reserved for little people. In short, there's nothing mightier than the meek."

RD

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Want to know about the plight of mall Santa? Check out the great Fountains of Wayne song, "The Man in the Santa Suit".

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing Classic: Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 9 - "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! - Koopa Klaus"

ed note: This article originally premiered on December 9th, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 9: "The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! - Koopa Klaus"

Original air date - October 30th, 1989

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six, Seven, Eight

One of the very best things about Christmas is getting a great present. During our shopping sprees, it is inevitable to find something that you want for yourself. The desire to get that one great present usually turns into an obsession. For the few weeks leading up to Christmas, we can start to get pretty self-centered about presents. We sometimes forget about all the good feelings experienced by giving other people joy around the holds. Our selfishness can make Christmas a downright icy time of the year.

In the late 1980's The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!  was there to capitalize on the sudden popularity of the Mario Bros. video games on Nintendo. Each episode started and ended with a live action adventure of Mario and Luigi with their celebrity friends in New York City. Cindi Lauper, Norman Fell, Vanna White, and many other late eighties luminaries stopped by the Mario Bothers plumbing shop. In between these live action segments was an unrelated cartoon adventure of Mario, Luigi, the Princess, and Toad in the Mushroom Kingdom. The crew was constantly thwarting the evil schemes of King Koopa and his coalition of animal like bad guys (ed note: The Mario games had not named the main bad guy Bowser yet, hence the title King Koopa).

On the day before Halloween in 1989, The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! presented an animated adventure titled "Koopa Klaus". The episode starts with Mario and the crew trying to dig a tunnel to HawaiiLand. Due to Toad's terrible navigation, they end up in the North Pole of the Mushroom Kingdom. Before the heroes arrived in the snowy landscape, King Koopa froze Santa's workshop and took Father Christmas hostage. King Koopa hates Christmas for some reason and wants to destroy all the toys Santa will be delivering. Our heroes decide to visit Santa's workshop on suggestion by Toad.  He is obsessed with getting presents. The Princess decides to give Toad his present early in hopes that it calms her servant down. Upon getting his new snowboard, Toad selfishly goes off to play. He never even thanks the Princess for the thoughtful gift.

The joy of Toad and his new snowboard is short lived, because King Koopa spots the crew and decides to attack. Our heroes see that Santa is a captive in King Koopa’s sleigh, and they all decide to save the big guy. Toad agrees to help, but not for Santa’s safety, he wants to save the toys. At one point, a bob-omb hits Toad and knocks him off the snowboard. He is concerned about his new toy, and the Princess scolds him for being selfish and only thinking of himself. Mario and Luigi use some good old platform jumping, some cave chasing, and other assorted video game moves to get Santa away from King Koopa and save the day.

Saint Nick was safe, but Santa’s workshop was still frozen. Toad is beside himself because he fears there will never be any new toys for the little guy. He then feels ok because at least he got a new snowboard, who cares about anyone else. The Princess tells Toad that Christmas is a time to think of others. With the spirit of the season finally coming into focus for Toad, he gives the snowboard to Santa so at least one present will make it for a Christmas delivery. The kindness of Toad’s gift causes the ice to melt, and free Santa’s workshop. Christmas is saved in the Mushroom Kingdom, and as a reward the Mario crew got to spend the evening delivering presents to all the toads, toadettes, and maybe even a few goombas and koopas.

Getting a cool gift is awesome. What we should not forget is that the feeling we get from giving someone a cool gift is what Christmas should be about. We will spend a lot of time in shops, or on the internet, looking for some great gifts. In our searches, there will be something great that catches our heart’s desire. This is not the season to be selfish. The joy of Christmas will be felt when you give someone else their heart’s desire. If your lucky, you will get that gift so someone else can feel the true holiday spirit.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of The X Millennial Man Podcast. He is still waiting for a game to feature the rad talking late eighties Link of The Legend of Zelda cartoon series.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing Classic: Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 7 - "The Late Show with David Letterman - December 19th, 2014 "

ed note: This article was originally published on December 7th, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we are looking back at the great holiday music, movies, television episodes, and food of this great season. Enjoy

Day 7: "The Late Show with David Letterman - December 19th 2014"

Original air date - it is right there in the title.

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six

Every year around Christmas we listen to the same songs and watch the same television shows. We all have our traditions, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. These little bits of holiday pop culture sometimes get us into the right mood during a cold December night. These annual traditions help us look back to other pleasant times we experienced during the holiday season. There is a comfort in looking forward to that one thing that makes our holiday season extra special.

David Letterman once famously said that it is not the Christmas until he hears Darlene Love sing that song. The song in question is the new standard (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home. Vanity Fair has a great oral history of how Darlene Love ended up on Letterman for almost thirty years singing her iconic song. That first appearance in 1986 was simple, and without pomp, but a beloved holiday tradition was born.

The small band, and ugly holiday sweaters, had nothing on Phil Spector's iconic Wall of Sound, but Darlene Love still slayed with her vocals. Since that appearance, Darlene Love, Paul Shaffer, and David Letterman made (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home a fixture on Late Night, and then The Late Show. Only a writers strike would stop the trio from letting Letterman start Christmas. Many even believe that Love's Late Show appearances helped her finally, rightfully so, get into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

On December 19th, 2014, Darlene Love performed (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home for the last time on The Late Show. In May of 2015, David Letterman retired from the late night game. Everyone knew that the December 19th performance was going to be the last, and nothing was held back. The four-piece backing band of 1986 was replaced by a horn section, strings, backup singers, and Paul Shaffer on a grand piano. Love even decided to belt out the last few lines on top of the piano because she was afraid of breaking down when Letterman came to give her a hug. The 2014 performance of (Christmas) Baby Please Come Home was an epic curtain call for a singer, a talk show host who was a fan, and the viewers that counted on Darlene Love to usher in the holidays every year on late night television.

Our holiday traditions are something to be celebrated. Listening to the same songs, or watching the same tv specials, is what makes December a great time. We all have that one special pop culture thing that gets us in the right Christmas mood. David Letterman had Darlene Love sing that song. We were truly lucky to share this tradition with Mr. Letterman.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. The holidays do not start for him until he hears Linus and Lucy.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 6 - "The Wonder Years: Christmas"

ed note: This article originally premiered on December 6th, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 6: "The Wonder Years: Christmas"

Original air date, December 14th, 1988

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five

We all wanted that one perfect gift for Christmas. Many times that gift was made by Nintendo. In the mid-eighties there was the original NES, 2006 saw the Wii, and in 2016 we are all out desperately searching for the original NES once again. There was the Furby, Cabbage Patch Dolls, and Tickle Me Elmo that drove people crazy during past holiday shopping sprees. Sometimes we wanted that perfect gift to be a big purchase we have been holding off on. A new car, a big vacation, or even the latest and greatest in television technology could be the gift that makes that particular Christmas the most memorable ever. That big gift would consume much of our holiday spirit.

In 1988, "The Wonder Years" was early in it's second season. The show was coming off a Best Comedy series Emmy and was quickly being recognized as one of the must-watch shows on all of television. Baby boomers loved the nostalgia, and gen xers loved the characters. Kevin, Paul, Wayne, Jack, Norma, and of course Winnie Cooper were people we wanted to spend time with. The third episode of the second season was to be the first of many Christmas-themed stories.

"Christmas" starts off with Kevin, Wayne, and Norma marveling at the new color televisions on display at the local store. They have decided that for this Christmas, color tv is at the top of their wish list. Throughout the entire episode, the members of the Arnold clan find their own way to convince patriarch Jack that a color television would make this Christmas extra special. Jack acts in his normal sensible way, but at one point he even admits to wanting a color television. Is the price worth it, or even feasible, is what troubles Jack. Reality is not on display for the rest of the Arnold's, and the color television becomes the obsession for Christmas.

Kevin Arnold is not only entranced by the hope of color tv, he also is still pining for Winnie Cooper. While daydreaming of a moment with Winnie, she approaches Kevin to present the young man with a Christmas present. Her only wish is that Kevin wait until Christmas to open the gift. This moment drives the smitten younger Arnold to find a perfect gift for Winny. He and Paul end up at a mall so Kevin can find the right perfume for Miss Cooper. After many attempts, he settles for a simple snow globe. In Kevin;s mind, getting a gift is what really matters.

Like any good episode of "The Wonder Years", the third act reveals the folly of Kevin's thoughts. When delivering his gift to Winnie, Kevin learns her family has decided to suddenly leave town and not spend Christmas at home. In the pilot episode of "The Wonder Years", we learn that Winnie's brother Brian was killed in Vietnam. This was to be the Cooper's first Christmas at home without their son, and they decided to spend the holidays elsewhere. Later, Kevin catches up with his color tv obsessed family as the sing Christmas carols. In the middle of song, it starts to pour down rain on the Arnold clan. All the anxiety of the holidays washes away as Jack breaks out into uncontrollable laughter. The rest of the family joins the father, and Kevin realizes what real memories are made on Christmas. The best memories of the holidays come from being together and experiencing the unexpected. Wanting something does not make for Christmas magic, experiencing something does. We learn that the family did not get their color tv that year, but nobody cared. Winnie's gift to Kevin was a simple four leaf clover and the wish of luck in the upcoming year. This Christmas was memorable because of what was unexpected, and welcomed.

There is a very good chance that most of us will not get that new car, big vacation, or mini classic Nintendo this Christmas. Right now in early December we may hope for the unexpected, and unreasonable, to happen. Really though, chances are that the perfect gift we have in mind now will not appear on Christmas morning. The thing is that we will not remember this holiday season for  what we did not get. Something will happen, unexpectedly, that will put this Christmas into our own personal history books. We just have to let those events come to us.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is still interested in that mini NES. It would be an unexpected surprise to find one this holiday season.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

SeedSing Classic: Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Television Programs: Day 3 - "Saved By the Bell: Home for Christmas Part 1 and 2"

ed note: This article was originally published on December 3rd, 2016

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday television program for every day of Advent. This is the greatest tv of the season. Enjoy.

Day 3: "Saved By the Bell: Home for Christmas Part 1 and 2" Original air date, December 7th and 14th, 1991

Opened Doors: One, Two

Going to the mall during the holiday season has its ups and downs. It is always very crowded, people are downright rude, and there are cheesy Christmas activities going on everywhere. Santa is patiently attending to thousands of scared, or overly greedy, children every single weekend. All the stores are playing the same holiday standards you were sick of decades ago. Untrained, seasonal, workers slow down the cash registers at stores people only visit in December. And if you are lucky, there will be a half-assed holiday pageant or play going on near the food court. Nine times out of ten, this production is an extremely loose interpretation of the Charles Dickens classic "A Christmas Carol".

In the early 1990's, the gang from Bayside High taught the gen xers and millennials the important lessons of the late 20th century. Lessons like staying away from caffeine pills, be nice to the hot girl in a wheelchair, and should you use dope? Nope. The lesson on two Saturdays in December was about how homeless people are real. 

Home for Christmas was a two-part episode that took place entirely away from Bayside and The Max. Due to this geographic change, there is no Mr. Belding to be seen in this extended adventure. Instead we have the kids all hanging out at a local mall for a variety of reasons. Kelly is working at a mens store to make some extra money. Jessie assisting Santa as one of his elves. Slater is wrapping presents, very poorly. Zack and Screech are not being employed, but they are still hanging around because Zack's mom is getting ready to put on a mall production of "A Christmas Carol". Lisa is volunteering at a hospital, but she also finds plenty of time to get away and join the crew. Shenanigans were about to start.

The craziness gets started when Zack and Screech discover an extremely well put together homeless man shaving in the mall bathroom. Later, on a date with a girl he just met, Zack remarks unkindly about the homeless man. The new girl promptly storms out. The whole crew becomes obsessed with the encounter with the homeless man. The girl Zack pissed off also happens to work at the same store with Kelly. Storylines start to connect after Zack sees the new girl wolf down a basket of fries. She was eating like an animal, not a classy early 90's socal teenager. We learn that the homeless man and the girl are father and daughter. This Christmas was about get real in Bayside California.

The story progresses like any other good Saved By the Bell. The crew discover a problem, hijinks ensue, a lesson gets learned, and our new friends get a better shot in life. There is the Scrooge-like character of the mens shop owner, the bratty kid who kicks Jessie, and the women rightfully upset about Slaters bad gift wrapping job. All of these people exist in large quantities in the real world, but in the Saved By the Bell world we have the Bayside crew to make it all better. The Scrooge discovers the Christmas spirit, the gang learns a lesson, and the homeless people get to live in the Morris house until next episode. A true god bless us everyone. 

Even if you do all of your holiday shopping online, and you should, it is always fun to get out to the local mall. The people are usually terrible, the kids are brats, and there may be less desirable homeless people in the bathrooms, but the Holidays are alive and well in these retail wastelands. The malls are also filled with teenagers, and some of them may be well meaning. If they lack in empathy, maybe they will at least give you a terrible rendition of "A Christmas Carol". The memories of that awfulness will keep Christmas going all year.

Ed Note: These Holiday music article are meant to be fun. Having said that, this is the most important time of the year to help the homeless in your city. Your time and money is needed to assist your local homeless charities. Contact the United Way to find a charity in your city.

RD

RD Kulik is the Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He thinks if you are going to watch only one two-part Saved By the Bell that takes place in a mall, skip this one and watch the one where the crew buys U2 tickets.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing

Ty Watches "Fargo" Season Four

"Fargo" just wrapped up its fourth season, and boy was it a good one. I am proceeding with caution, as to, I do not want to spoil anything.

"Fargo" is a loaded show. It is a show where you need to give it your full attention. You cannot be on your phone, or in your own little world. You have to be laser focused when watching. This goes for all seasons of this show. If you zone out for as little as five minutes, you will miss something. That is one of the many reasons I have enjoyed the hell out of this show from day one. Sure, I had my reservations. The movie is a classic, come at me if you disagree. So I was a bit leery of a TV show. But when I saw it was going to be a serialized crime show, and that the Cohen Brothers gave it their blessing, that was all I needed to get on board.

Just like with other seasons, the fourth season takes place in a certain time, the end of 1950 to the beginning of 1951. The only difference from previous seasons, this one takes place in the midwest, in Kansas City. The other three seasons are in the North, mostly Minnesota. But changing the scenery did nothing to dampen the show. This season was just as brutal, just as involved, just as grimy and just as good as the other three seasons. In fact, I think it may be my second favorite season, behind only the first. This season was so well done. It weaved a great crime story. It told the story so well, and so effectively and so real. This season's violence, and how undignified mob violence can be, felt the most real to this point. There were so many shots in the back, or guns going off unexpectedly or no pomp and circumstance before being shot, like in big time action movies. When it was time for a certain character to die, they died. You know what I mean. In these big crime or action movies there always seems to be a monologue or something to stall the end game. That isn't real life, and this season of "Fargo" showed that very well.

I was super impressed with the acting in this season too. Chris Rock was the boss of the new family in town, and he really delivered. That dude can act when given the proper writing and direction. Jason Schwartzmann was really good. He was wild, but smart. He had some of the funniest moments, but he was also pretty crazy. Jessie Buckley, as the crazed nurse, was a revelation. I had never heard of her until now, but I will never forget her now. Ben Whishaw was so good and so understated, and he was probably the character I rooted for the most. Emryi Crutchfield was tremendous, and her role in this is going to lead to way bigger and way more fun roles. She was so awesome. Glynn Turman, Doctor Senator, was so great. He deserves to win every award he is going to be nominated for. He was wonderful. Rodney L Jones III, as Rock's youngest son, man was he excellent. He got to really stretch his legs as the series went on, and he shined. I mean, everyone in this season did a great, great job, just like the actors in prior seasons.

I am immensely impressed with this show. Where most shows would dip, or take some time off, look at the season of "Lost" with Bai Ling, or every season of "The Office" after Steve Carrell left, "Fargo" hasn't done that. Each season has its own charm and is so well made and written and acted. This show is a force, and I hope they continue. It was also nice to have this right now as a distraction from the world. I love this show, and I really, really liked this most recent season. Just do yourself a favor and watch it. In fact, watch all of "Fargo". It is more than worth your time.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

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Ranking Every Episode of "G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero" The Top Ten

Recently I went back to watch all 95 episodes of the original “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero” cartoon series from the 1980’s. In the spirit of list articles, I went out to the internet to find a ranking from worst to best of the show. I found nothing. There were plenty of top ten lists, but no in depth list of all 95 episodes. I decided to do something about it.

Want to know how I came up with the rankings? Read my introduction.

Need to catch up? Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

And now, enjoy the exciting conclusion of my rankings of “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero”.

#10: “Once Upon a Joe”

Original Air Date: October 1st, 1986

“I don’t know any kids’ stories.”

Shipwreck

In battle with Cobra to get the McGuffin Device, the Joes inadvertently destroy an orphanage. No orphans were destroyed, just their house.

While rebuilding the orphanage, Shipwreck gets roped into telling a few of the foundlings a story. His story is a fairytale featuring a few of the Joes, Shipshape (Shipwreck), Leatherhead (Leatherneck), Frogface (Wetsuit), and DaDuke (Duke). The story is imagined with a different looking animation style than the regular GI Joe shows. A few Cobra’s along with Scarlett and Cover Girl also make an appearance in Shipwreck’s story.

While Cobra, in the real world, is trying to get the McGuffin Device back, Leatherneck has to take over the story. He is terrible at telling stories. Shipwreck, out to check on something for Beachhead, is knocked out by Zartan, and the Cobra master of disguise makes himself up as the Joe Sailor. The kids find Zartan/Shipwreck and ask him to continue the story. Zartan/Shipwreck’s story is all about the bad guys winning. The kids are suspicious and venture out to find the real Shipwreck.

The kids succeed and real Shipwreck, in his underwear, uses the McGuffin Device. The characters from Shipwrecks story come into reality and defeat the Cobras. We learn that the McGuffin Device changes reality based on the mind of the user.

The orphanage gets rebuilt, and Shipwreck stays to give the story a happy ending.

 The Good:

An awesome Shipwreck episode. The episode is also kind of emotionally touching. The McGuffin Device, genius writing.

The Bad:

Shipwreck in his underwear around kids. Not a comfortable situation.

#9: “The Traitor”

Original Air Date: November 25th and 26th, 1985

“I may be hard up, but I’m no traitor.”

Dusty

This is an incredible two-part story about family, and heroism, centered on one of my favorite G.I. Joes ever.

The GI Joe team has a new armor treatment impervious to Cobra lasers. Cobra Commander wants this armor treatment, and he sends out the Crimson twins to find a way to get the formula.

At the same time, we learn Dusty’s mom is sick and her bills are piling up. Coincidently, Extensive Enterprises owns the debt of Dusty’s mom. They offer Dusty a trade; the armor treatment and they will forgive the debt. Dusty is against it at first, in fact he causes a redneck bar brawl when the Crimson Twins first offer him the deal, but he later agrees to give Cobra info on the Joe’s operations in exchange for money to pay down the debt.

After a few times of Cobra stopping the Joes, Duke tells Flint that Dusty is a traitor and the Joes are going to trap him. The trap plan goes south when Duke is knocked out and hospitalized and in a coma. Dusty is court-martialed, and on the way to prison when Cobra saves the fallen Joe.

To be continued.

Part two starts with Hector Ramirez of “Twenty Questions” recapping episode one. It is truly an incredible way to catch up the viewers

When the action picks up, Dusty is in a Cobra uniform working with the snakes. The former Joe fights and saves a Cobra soldier in a flooding arena of sport with piranhas. Dusty leads Cobra on a few missions to get chemicals for a mind control gas. Dusty also hands over the armor treatment to Cobra Commander.

During a mission where Dusty leads Cobra, Shipwreck, Lady Jaye, and Flint are captured, and Cobra Commander is going to have Dusty gas the prisoners with the mind control chemical. In a bit of reversal. Dusty gasses all the Cobras. Dusty is not a traitor. The Joes all escape.

In the end it is discovered that the armor treatment is not stable, Duke and Dusty came up with the traitor plan, only Duke and Dusty knew the plan, and Dusty’s mom is feeling much better thanks to the money the Joes swindled from Cobra.

 The Good:

An incredible story featuring Dusty, one of the greatest Joes. The plan is very well thought out.

The Bad:

Even with a well thought out plan, why were Dusty and Duke the only ones to know. A lot of anxiety from Joes, mainly Shipwreck, could have been saved if Duke trusted a few other high-level members of the team. Maybe tell Lady Jaye or Scarlett.

#8: “The Viper is Coming”

Original Air Date: October 24th, 1985

“Guess I won’t be needing that window cleaned.”

Barbeque

HOT TAKE ALERT: Yes, I can hear the screams of many G.I. Joe fans. “This episode should have been dead last”, you say. “The whole plot revolves around a terrible dad joke” the cries echo in my mind. Even the voice of Duke, Michael Bell, apologized to the fan base about this episode. I do not care, I absolute adore “The Viper is Coming”, and I can not doubt my own adoration.

The plot?

Barbeque is having a party at his new pad, a converted firehouse. A bunch of the Joes are dancing, rappelling, and playing basketball. The party is interrupted by a phone call. The mysterious caller calls himself the Viper, and he says he is coming. He also says five seventy-five.

The Joes are concerned. Scarlett deduces that five seventy-five must be coordinates and those coordinates bring the Joes to Antarctica. Once there, the team stumbles onto a Cobra Rec center with a gym, pool table room, cafeteria, swimming pool, and an entertainment lounge. A battle breaks out and the Joes take down the Cobra rec center.

The next day back at Barbeque’s pad, the Viper calls back. This time he says that he is coming Friday at the west corner. The Joes think Cobra is going to attack West Point. Once the team is at the United States Military Academy, Major Bludd does attack the graduating class of. The Joes, along with the cadets, turn away Major Bludd and his team.

The next day at Barbeque’s, and another call from the Viper. This time the Viper says he is coming tomorrow, top floor first. The Joes figure something is going down at the Extensive Enterprises building, since it is the tallest building in the world it has the highest top floor. Again, the Joes get into a battle with Cobra. The Crimson twins and Destro are frustrated that this “Viper” is making things rough for Cobra.

The next day at Barbeque’s pad, and the Joes have a huge team with tons of equipment surrounding the Joe fireman’s house. A small eastern European man with an accent approaches with a mop and bucket approaches. He says he is the viper, five seventy-five an hour, he will start on the west corner, top floor first. He is here to wipe the windows clean.

Barbeque can only sit and laugh.

 The Good:

A perfectly structured episode. Genuinely exciting and mysterious. Awesome to see the background world of Cobra.

The Bad:

I don’t know if the Joes always had the best teams for these missions. Barbeque in Antarctica? That doesn’t seem right.

#7: “The Rotten Egg”

Original Air Date: October 7th, 1986

“You made one mistake bucko. I may be older, but I’m better.”

Leatherneck

Leatherneck has been invited to give the commencement address at CEC. He is going to use his leave to be the guest of honor at this military academy, and he is going to stop by his beloved Paris Island to check out the batch of new marines that are graduating.

Once Leatherneck reaches CEC, he meets the Commandant. It is Buck McCann, a former high achieving marine recruit that Leatherneck threw out of the corps. It seems that McCann had great skills, but he was a lousy Marine when it came to discipline and respect. McCann is head of CEC; the Cobra Elite Corps. McCann is going to settle an old score with Leatherneck and use the CEC recruits to attack Paris Island.

The final exam McCann creates for the CEC cadets is to hunt down Leatherneck. During the hunt, Leatherneck schools the CEC kids, and even saves them Doesn’t matter, one of the cadets still knocks Leatherneck out.

The Joe marine has to escape so he can save Paris Island. In his hospital gown, Leatherneck starts to take out CEC cadets. The Joes at Paris Island see Leatherneck confront McCann, and Beachhead instructs everyone to let Leatherneck fight it out with his old enemy.

In the end Leatherneck beats McCann, and a member of the CEC rips the patch off his uniform symbolically turning away from Cobra.

 The Good:

A great story that tells us how people may turn to Cobra. Good soldiers with bad morals are what makes Cobra great. Awesome feature episode all about Leatherneck.

The Bad:

Why did Leatherneck, and nobody else on the Joe team, investigate what in the world is CEC?

#6: “Memories of Mara”

Original Air Date: November 15th, 1985

“And I’ve got this thing for mermaids.”

Shipwreck

This is the beginning of an epic story.

Out in the sea, the Joes are looking for the lost Navy submarine the USS Nerka. During the battle, Shipwreck spots a person in the water. The Joe sailor dives in and discovers this woman in the water has blue skin and is breathing through gills. Cobra wants this person back, but Shipwreck and Lady Jaye get her away.

We learn the gilled woman is named Mara. She was/is a member of Cobra and was part of an experiment to make amphibious soldiers. Unfortunately, the experiment made her only able to breath underwater. Mara is claiming ignorance on the Nerka, Lady Jaye does not believe her, Shipwreck does.

During a Cobra attack to get Mara back, Shipwreck takes her and escapes to an island. It is there that Shipwreck and Mara show their feelings for each other. Shipwreck also learns that Mara does know where the Nerka is located.

Mara tells the Joes the location, and then a rescue mission is greenlit. Mara, not in the water, saves the Nerka captain from torture, and Lady Jaye from a procedure that would give gills to one of our favorite Joes. The Nerka is saved, Shipwreck and Mara get away.

In the end, Mara kisses Shipwreck and swims out towards the horizon. Our favorite sailor just sits and waves while he smiles.

 The Good:

On its own, a great story. As part of larger story, this episode is must watch. A strong Shipwreck stories.

The Bad:

The first act is forgettable. The real action starts once Mara and Shipwreck are together.

#5: “The Most Dangerous Thing in the World”

Original Air Date: October 28th, 1986

"We got a saying in the Marines. The most dangerous thing in the world is a green officer in the dark with a book of matches.”

Leatherneck

Dr Mindbender has an incredible plan that would undermine the morale of the GI Joe team.

With General Hawk away, Dr Mindbender decides to infiltrate the Pentagon computer and promote three undeserving Joes to leadership roles. The three Joes chosen, Lifeline, Dial-tone, and Shipwreck. They are all promoted to Colonel, which is strange as Beachhead points out because Shipwreck cannot be a Colonel, he is not even in the army.

The three new Colonels are as bad as Dr. Mindbender thought they would be. The pacifist Lifeline takes weapons away, the dopey Dial-tone is changing things in the Joes computer systems, and the arrogant Shipwreck is throwing his rank around and upsetting his already in shock teammates.

Cobra has the Joes on the ropes, right until General Hawk parachutes out of a NATO jet and turns the tide. After the Joes turn away Cobra, barely, General Hawk says that these three joes were chosen to disrupt the team because Lifeline has the skill but not the will to lead, Dial-tone has the will but not the skill to lead, and Shipwreck has neither the will or the skill.

 The Good:

A very funny, and very informative, episode. The character work up to this point makes the whole story work. Prime commentary from Wetsuit and Leatherneck.

The Bad:

Ever since Dial-tone joined the team; he has been the subject of a bunch of abuse. I feel bad for the poor guy. He probably went to his men’s housing after this to eat some beans out of a can.

#4: “Nightmare Assault”

Original Air Date: October 29th, 1986

“What do you think of your cowardly son now, dad.”

Lowlight

The best episode of the second season of GI Joe.

Also, this episode premiered the day after “The Most Dangerous Thing in the World”. This part of season two was incredible. Onto the plot.

The Joes are having nightmares. The culprit of these nightmares? None other than Dr Mindbender and his newest invention. The Joes are losing sleep. They are becoming ineffective. Even great leaders like General Hawk are hesitating in battle.

The one Joe who knows about not sleeping, that would be Lowlight. The Joe sniper can function without sleep because he had a troubled childhood. His nightmares are about his father sending a scared boy out to kill rats.

The Joes decide to use Lowlight to lead the Joes through Dr Mindbender’s manufactured nightmares. Lowlight takes control of the dream, and defeats his childhood trauma, then is able to defeat Mindbender and his infernal machine.

In the end the Joes are saved, and Lowlight is having the first relaxing sleep he has had in a long time.

 The Good:

The imagery is trippy and fits the story perfectly. An awesome Mindbender invention, one that works, and a great personal story about Lowlight.

The Bad:

Lowlight is a creepy dude in this episode. Before this he was just an ass, but here he is damaged.

#3: “Worlds Without End”

Original Air Date: November 4th, and 5th, 1985

“Not another time. Another place. Another world.”

Flint

After a few close calls, Steeler is questioning if the battle between Joe and Cobra’s is even worth it. Nothing ever changes. The Joe tank commander is distraught.

Right now, the Joes and Cobra are fighting over the matter transmutter, a device with unknown applications. During a bottle on a bridge over a river, the matter transmutter goes off. The bridge disappears along with the Joe team of Flint, Lady Jaye, Footloose, Steeler, Clutch, Airtight, Grunt, and Barbeque. Also, the Cobra Moccasin pilot Copperhead seems to disappear with the Joes. We never hear from him the rest of the episode.

When the Joes wake up, they are not at the river, they are in a dry riverbed. Flint surmises that they fell asleep and many years have passed. As the Joes hike and look for answers, Steeler is bit by a strange pink bug. The Joe team also discovers that Cobra has taken over the world. They find the Joe HQ, and it is nearly empty, guarded by Cobra, and full of cobwebs. Once the Joes get into the base, they learn that most of the GI Joe team is either missing, or killed, in action.

Steeler is having a hard time with this.

The Joes split up to try and make sense of everything they have experienced. The different teams fix and use old Joe equipment. Flint, Barbeque, and Airtight go to Washington DC and learn that the Dreadnoks are cops. Those Dreadnoks cops are now chasing the Joes. Lady Jaye, Footloose, and Clutch are in old Sky Hawks, and they see Cobra has changed all the recognizable US monuments. Mt Rushmore, it now has Cobra Commander and Destro. The Lincoln Memorial, it is now the Cobra Commander Memorial. The White House, US Capitol Building, and the Washington Monument, they are all solid gold now. It is here that the Joes realize that time has not moved forward, but that they have travelled to another dimension. Also, the Baroness recognizes and wants to see Steeler.

To be continued.

In part two, the Flint, Barbeque, and Airtight team escape the Dreadnoks, but are eventually captured by Zartan. Lady Jaye, Footloose, and Clutch in the Sky Hawks get caught by an energy net from the golden Washington Monument.

Meanwhile, Grunt and Steeler are at the old Joe HQ, then suddenly Steeler in his sickness delirium stumbles upon skeletons of old dead Joes. The skeletons he sees are those of Grunt, Clutch, and himself. Steeler is understandably freaked out. A Cobra lady soldier finds Grunt and Steeler and asks them to come with her.

Next, we see the two Joes, Steeler is feeling better and Grunt is explaining to his friend that the Baroness of this reality was romantic with Steeler and she is secretly part of an anti-Cobra resistance. After a tough conversation with the Baroness about her Steeler being dead, the two Joes hatch a plan with the Baroness.

The other two Joe teams are part of a typical Cobra torture/entertainment scheme. Through some ingenuity the two teams escape to meet up with Steeler, Clutch, and the Baroness. The Baroness hatches a plan start a Cobra civil war between Destro and Cobra Commander. With her plan working, the Joes go back to the point the crossed dimensions.

Before the portal closes, Clutch, Grunt, and Steeler decide they are going to stay in this alternate reality to help the Baroness fight Cobra. Steeler has learned why being a Joe, and fighting Cobra, is so important.

We never see Clutch, Grunt, or Steeler in the rest of the cartoon serious. That is truly awesome writing.

The Good:

An incredible story that shows why the Joe fight against Cobra is so important. The journey that Steeler takes is trippy, and emotional. Knowing that Clutch, Grunt, and Steeler are leaving behind everything to fight Cobra is truly touching.

The Bad:

The animation is great, and scary, for a young pre-teen boy. Steeler is not the best character to go on this journey with.

#2: “There’s No Place Like Springfield”

Original Air Date: December 12th and 13th, 1985

“Looks like a dozen of other towns I know.”

Shipwreck

The end of an era for GI Joe. This is the last story we will see until the show expands and changes with “Arise, Serpentor, Arise”, and oh boy what a way to go out.

From the very beginning you could tell this two-parter was going to be something special. Shipwreck, Polly, and Lady Jaye are trying escort a ragged scientist off of an island. Actually, Lady Jaye is carrying the good Dr Mulaney while Shipwreck and Polly take up the rear.

The doctor was a prisoner of Cobra and he was tasked with making a chemical that can turn ordinary water into a bomb. Fearing he will not make it, Dr Mulaney implants the formula into Shipwrecks brain and whispers a code word to Lady Jaye. The code word will cause Shipwreck to reveal the formula.

On the way back to the Flagg, Shipwreck the Joes are attacked by Cobra. Shipwreck’s Sharc is sinking fast while the Flagg looks to be in trouble.

Commercial Break.

After the commercial, Shipwreck wakes up in hospital some indeterminate time later. His hair and face are grey, and he is greeted by his wife Mara and his kid Althea. The last time Shipwreck remembered seeing Mara was back in “Memories of Mara”, when she swam away because she could only breath underwater. It seems that Shipwreck has amnesia and does not remember Doc curing Mara, Shipwreck taking out Cobra Commander, the Joes finally defeating the snakes, he and Mara get married, and they have a daughter, and they move to the non-descript town of Springfield. Shipwreck does not remember any of it.

Once Shipwreck gets home, still confused, Mara recommends he take a nap. During his nap, the Joe sailor dreams of going into a car wash and having Cobra Commander, and other members of the now gone organization, asking forcefully for Mulaney’s formula. Shipwreck is confused and quite scared.

Trying to remember his new life, Shipwreck tries to get back to what is supposed to be normal. He sees that Scarlett and Duke are together, he owns a business with Deep Six and Torpedo. He insults Flint by referencing Lady Jaye. After his insult, Shipwreck learns that Lady Jaye died the night his Sharc went down.

Shipwreck is emotionally destroyed. To make matters worse, he keeps dreaming of Cobra asking for Mulaney’s formula. He finally gets into a trap at the car wash where his old Joe friends attack the old sailor. As Shipwreck hits each one, the Joe dissolves into grey goo. Shipwreck is screaming in agony.

To Be Continued.

In part two we start to learn what is actually going on. Shipwreck asks Mara to send him back to the hospital, where Shipwreck is drugged with spiked milk. The Crimson Twins use cadet Demming to interrogate Shipwreck by using a mind probing type device. Things start getting intense in the interrogation. When Doc objects to the Crimson Twins plan, they destroy him because he is a synthoid. All the Joes in Springfield are synthoids, including Polly.

The real Polly ends finds Shipwreck, destroys synthoid Polly and helps Shipwreck realize that he is a prisoner of Cobra. Polly also overheard the code word for Mulaney’s formula, and uses it to activate the formula in his sailor friend’s brain. Shipwreck creates the chemical, drops it into Springfield’s water supply, and thanks to a stupid Dreadnoks who shoots at Shipwreck, all the water in Springfield’s pipes starts to explode.

The Joes, including a very alive Lady Jaye, on the USS Flagg see the explosion and know where Cobra is keeping Shipwreck. The Joes attack, a battle ensues, yet before he goes, Shipwreck needs to save his wife and kid.

Predictable, and still sad, Shipwreck sees that Mara and Althea are synthoids and part of Cobra’s ploy. The story ends with Shipwreck with tears in his eyes, and ready to get back to the Joes.

Amazing.

The Good:

The first episode is so well done setting up the world of GI Joe after Cobra, and the reveal that all is not as it seems. The second part is action packed, sad, and has great closure on an awesome season of GI Joe.

The Bad:

This is very nitpicking, but I have to say something. Why in the world did Shipwreck not notice the dye in his hair and in his beard earlier? Does the man never shower?

#1: “Cold Slither”

Original Air Date: December 2nd, 1985

“Long live Cobra. Cold Slither forever”

The crowd at the Sports Arena

If you wanted to explain the greatness of “GI Joe: A Real American Hero” what would you highlight? The teamwork, and diversity, of the Joe team. Check. The inventive genius of Destro. Check. The awesomeness of Shipwreck. Check. The need of the Baroness to highlight her relationship to Destro. Check. The business acumen of the Crimson Twins. Check. The greed and laziness of the Dreadnoks. Check. The boldness of Cobra Commander to go incognito by wearing sunglasses over his mirrored face. Check plus.

Welcome to “Cold Slither” the greatest episode of the 1980’s GI Joe cartoon series.

The first act is all about Cobra going broke. Cobra troopers are in line for unemployment, and Extensive Enterprises are trying to recoup their losses by selling Cobra equipment to any would be dictator. In order to get back on top, Cobra Commander goes to get a high interest loan from a low level criminal who has a problem using the correct words (a great bit of double voice duty from Neil Ross, the voice of Shipwreck). With the money, Cobra Commander is going to use a new subliminal message technology developed by Destro to create a song that will enslave the populace.

The band and song “Cold Slither” are born. George Landsburg, the director from “Lights, Camera, Joes” is back to make a music video with Zartan and the Dreadnoks being the visual representation of the band.

The song is a hit. Cobra is making some money, and Extensive Enterprises is ready to be back in business with Cobra Commander. The kids in school love Cold Slither. The Joes are getting complacence with no Cobra, and “Cold Slither” is entertaining a few of the troops while they waste the days away. Shipwreck, Footloose, and Breaker, are into the music, and Duke does not understand this music the kids like today. When Cobra decides to activate the subliminal messages and demand everyone go to a concert at the Sports Arena, Shipwreck, Footloose, and Breaker decide to go AWOL. Shipwreck even pulls out his toy issue percussion pistol.

Duke is not happy with the AWOL Joes. Scarlett has a plan to bring everyone back and thwart Cobra’s comeback plan.

At the concert, the Dreadnoks are playing “Cold Slither” again and again. The sold-out crowd seems ok with it. The Dreadnoks are getting tired and leave Zartan on the stage alone. In their dressing room, the Dreadnoks have three comely lady groupies. Surprise, the groupies are Scarlett, Cover Girl, and Lady Jaye. They easily dispatch of the idiotic Zartan cronies. The girls make it all the way to the control room and get the Cobra high command to retreat. Duke thinks the subliminal machine may help the Joes with discipline around the base. Scarlett disagrees and destroys the world altering machine.

Once the concert goers come to, they all realize they are at a concert and they want music. The big show ends with the Average Joe Band. Breaker on keyboards, Shipwreck on drums, Lady Jaye, Scarlett, and Cover Girl on backing vocals, and Duke, Footloose and Rock and Roll on guitars. The band plays an awesomely stylized version of the shows theme song. End on the American flag.

Yo freaking Joe.

 The Good:

A perfect episode of GI Joe. Nearly every character from the Joes and Cobra is used in one short episode and all the characters are well thought out, the story highlights the motivations of each team, and no second was wasted. This is the episode you use to introduce someone to the greatness of “GI Joe: A Real American Hero.” Add in the PSA with Deep Sick sneaking up on the kid in the pond, and I guarantee you will have a new fan of GI Joe.

The Bad:

Nothing. Absolutely Nothing. (except for one weird animation goof on Shipwreck’s beard when they are at the Sports Arena for the concert).

There you have it, the definitive rankings of all episodes of the classic cartoon series “G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero”. This was tons of fun to write, and I hope brings some debate in your minds on what I ranked right, and what I ranked wrong. The most important thing I wanted to depart was knowledge about the greatest military toy commercial to ever air. And as the saying goes

Now you know.

RD

RD is the founder and Head Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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