An Ode to the New Pizza and Cool Ranch Doritos

I'll be taking the week off after today, so I wanted to leave you all until next Monday with what I consider to be some hard hitting material. Let’s go.

This is the time of year where we eat far too much as people. We stuff ourselves and blame it on the holidays. I am not immune to this either. I feel like if I run nine miles on Thanksgiving morning I can go nuts, thus negating all that running I did in the morning. But I will still do it, most likely, I am on Wegovy so who knows what that will do to my body, but I plan on eating more than normal. I also know that "Stranger Things" is coming back either today or tomorrow for everyone to stream on Netflix. I don't watch that show, so the hype is nonsense to me.

But, and this is me getting to the hard hitting news that I want to dive into, "Stranger Things" and Doritos have some kind of deal together right now and I recently tried their new flavor of Doritos. The whole "Stranger Things" of it all had nothing to do with me buying it, it was the flavor that I noticed and that was what intrigued me. As a kid I used to love pizza flavored chips. I don't believe Doritos ever had a straight up pizza flavor, but I remember other brands did and I used to house those bags whenever I could get my hands on them. And, for me, the best flavor of Doritos is the cool ranch. It is tangy and zesty and hits all the notes I want my savory snacks to hit. Well, this flavor was pizza and cool ranch. I was all in the moment I saw that. I will say, the bag was cool and retro. It had a late 80's early 90's look to it. I don't know from "Stranger Things", but the color way on the bag was dark and cool. Whatever the execs did to market these, it for sure worked on me. I bought them and tried them that very day.

I loved these chips from the first bite. I heard "Doughboys" try them on a recent episode and they were not fans. I couldn't disagree more with them. These were exactly what I wanted. The pizza flavor was definitely there. The food scientists messed with the flavor just enough to give it a pizza flavor. And for those who may be asking me what is "pizza flavor", let me explain. The pizza part of these chips tastes like the sauce on a pizza. The sauce is my favorite part. I don't know what it is, or why for that matter, but when I eat pizza the main thing I look for first is the flavor and extent of the sauce. I like my pizza to have more sauce than most and I like when it has a zip to it. That is the taste I got from the pizza in these chips. It was nice and zesty. It reminded me of old school Pizza Hut pizza. I don’t like Pizza Hut anymore, but as a kid, they had so much sauce that it was always my go to when my folks asked where I wanted pizza from. I believe that is why I like Cecil Whittaker's here in Saint louis so much. Sure, they load up the toppings, and they use a nice provel and mozzarella mix, but they also have the best sauce and they are generous with how much they put on each pizza. Then, to button it with cool ranch, that's a chef's kiss for me. The cool ranch makes these chips tangier and gives me all the good feelings I get when I dip my pizza in the ranch. That's one of my favorite things to do at a pizza spot. I like to get pizza and then ask for a side of ranch to dip the pizza in. It makes it taste better to me. It is even better if I get wings and ranch, dip the wings in first and then the pizza. Then I have a buffalo ranch that I dip my slices in and it is the best. That is the exact flavor I get out of these new Doritos.

I don't know if these are here to stay, but I'm hopeful they are. I am all in on this flavor. I like the meshing of two different flavors in one bite. I'm always mixing salty with sweet, and here I get to do two savory flavors that I really enjoy quite a bit. I love these chips and I recommend them to anyone that is a fan of pizza dipped in ranch. These will hit the spot. Enjoy the holiday and I will see you all back here on Monday. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Chuck E Cheese's Middle Name is a Glorious Bit of News in Our Dark World

These guys scream Entertainment

Because Ty is the most boss of all internet writers he refuses to stop creating awesome content, even when he is on a family vacation. His loquaciousness will be blunted while he enjoys his undisclosed tropical getaway. Each piece will be some quick thoughts on some current things going on, nothing political of course.

Recently it was "found out" that the E in Chuck E Cheese stands for Entertainment. That means the character Chuck E Cheese's full name is Charles Entertainment Cheese. A lot of people have come out saying how this is incredible, wonderful, perfect, everyone is in love with this "news". Me, I love it too, but I find it way more fitting than something to be enamored with.

What else could the E stand for? Chuck E Cheese is a born entertainer. His lot in life is to perform for kids, dance with families, throw parties, hand out presents, front a band, eat pizza and hand out fistfuls of tickets for crappy prizes. That screams entertainment.

I can't look at a name like Chuck E Cheese and picture a giant party rat as anything else but an entertainer. Would a law firm hire him? How about a bank? Maybe he could be a temp? There's no way he would be in the food service industry. Although, he does give out pizza, but, he doesn't make the pizza. That's a major health code violation. In reality, look at Chuck E Cheese and you know that rat likes to party. Always has a smile on his face, belly full of pizza and always dancing.

He is, as already stated, a born entertainer. Also, what else did people think the E would stand for? Did anyone out there think the E was for Ernest? Everton? Eddie? Enrique? Ezekiel? Eugene? None of those fit a party rat. Ernest is fitting for a buffoon that gets himself into needless trouble.(RIP to Jim Varney, dude had a niche and made an entire career out of him. Kudos to that) Everton is too regal. A party rat is not regal. No offense. Eddie is too "normal" a name. That is a legit middle name handed down generationally among many families. Enrique is too sexy a middle name for a rat. It would be awesome if that was Chuck's middle name, but it doesn't fit like Entertainment does. Ezekiel is too old timey and a little too religious for my taste. And Eugene, that would only make me think of Eugene Mirman, one of my favorite stand up comedians and voice actors. Entertainment is just too perfect.

I'm happy that this was announced. This was a pretty cool move by a "restaurant" that I despise. It actually almost, but not quite, makes me want to take my kids there. This is a fun story, and it was a much needed break from all the grim and depressing stuff that is out there right now. I'm curious to see what RD has to say about all this. He was, at one time, an employee of this franchise, and as he and I have said on previous podcasts, he's donned the Chuck E Cheese suit. I wonder if he felt like a true entertainer while "in character"? But, I really do like this story, and this was a lot of fun for me to write. Charles Entertainment Cheese, it is so wonderful and so perfect.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is wondering what the editor thinks of the "E" news. When RD was in the Chuck E Cheese costume, he assumed the E stood for Exit-None. The name was a variation on the Jean-Paul Sartre play "No Exit" where the moral is that "hell is other people". When you work at Chuck E Cheese, you quickly learn about the damnation of being around those customers.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.