An Ode to the Taco Bell Chicken Soft Taco

I have been pretty critical on the site and podcast about Taco Bell. I think their food all tastes the same. It all comes out of a flavor gun. I wish I could remember what comedian said a joke along those lines, the food gun, but whoever it was had it spot on. Most of the food still does taste the same to me too.

My wife and son love to go there. I usually do not get anything, but the past two times I have gone there I have indulged. And the stuff I get, for the most part, has no real distance from the other food save for a sauce here or the addition of sour cream there. The crunchwrap supreme is a concoction of every food gun they have, and it tastes like goo. The burritos are all the same. I honestly cannot tell the difference. The Doritos tacos all are similar and they do not put enough dust on them. I haven't tried the rehashed Mexican pizza yet, but if I had to go out on a limb, I bet it tastes just like it did in 2001 when I ate them all the time. But there is one food that I have had the past two times that I keep thinking about. I keep going back and reminiscing on how good it was. I truly enjoyed the flavor. I found it different from what I have had there before.

That Taco Bell food item is the simple chicken soft taco. There is no real difference in ingredients, save for the chicken. The tortilla is flour. There is shredded cheddar, I assume that is the cheese they use. And there is shredded lettuce. It is all the same. But going for the chicken over the "beef" makes all the difference in the world. I honestly do not know what they season it with, but it has real flavor. It kind of punches you in the face after eating all the other food they have to offer. It is juicy and has fake grill lines in it. It has that rotisserie feel to it. It mixes those two worlds to near perfection. The spice mix is great. It tastes like a great protein for a taco. And it is plentiful in the tortilla. I swear they put as much chicken in the taco as they do with beef. There might be more chicken in the taco than there is in their burritos and other foodstuffs. Whatever they are doing, it works. I remember being a kid and when my folks would get Taco Bell, on the very rare occasion, getting the chicken soft tacos was a nice surprise treat. Now that I am an adult and can go there when I want, I think I will only, and always, get the chicken soft taco. I think what I like most about it is the simplicity too. It doesn't need to have a shell with chip dust on it. It doesn't need nacho cheese or sour cream. There is no need to add any sauce to it, but the fire sauce amps the taste up great. The great thing about the chicken soft taco is the ease.

I am still going to be tough on Taco Bell. I still give my wife and kids a hard time when asking for Taco Bell. I would still rather go to almost any other fast food place. But at least I now know that, on the rare occasion that I will be buying food from Taco Bell, I will be buying multiple chicken soft tacos. They are truly a taste sensation.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.  

The Naked Chicken Chalupa was Good for the Taste Buds, Not So Good for the Stomach

Damn you Beautiful Taco Bell

Last Friday I wrote about how excited I was that Taco Bell was bringing back the naked chicken chalupa. It was my ode to the one thing I love about Taco Bell. Well, last night I went to get a few for me, and one for my wife. She wanted to try them too, because much like me, she loved them. So I got us 3 mild ones, 2 for me, 1 for her, and we dug in.

I have to tell you, they’re still pretty great. The fried chicken shell was pretty tremendous. It has a nice crisp to it, the way it’s shaped is perfect for a taco, and the “chicken” tastes pretty good. The inside is filled with shredded lettuce, shredded Mexican cheese and diced tomatoes. This was all fine, but didn’t add much. But, something I forgot about, there is some kind of spicy green sauce at the bottom. It’s too smooth to be guacamole, but too green to be sour cream. I am glad I got us the mild flavor because this green sauce has a kick. I am a big fan of what they did with this sauce. I added 2 packets of hot sauce and my wife ate her’s sans sauce. I prefer my method. While eating the naked chicken chalupas there were just sounds being grunted, or the occasional, “yep, these still hold up”. We both remembered why we liked them so much.

So yeah, the naked chicken chalupa is still pretty great. And, shockingly, I didn’t feel sick or gross after eating them last night. I was kind of surprised by this pleasant feeling. I was full, but not bloated. But, all that changed this morning.

Now, before I get into it, I regret nothing. My wife got up to get ready for work and told me she wished she hadn’t eaten the chalupa. I asked if she were sick, and she said no, but that she felt awful. I was surprised because I still felt okay. This was around 7am this morning. My wife left for work, seltzer water in hand around 730. I still felt fine, but as I was making my son breakfast, the pain set in. I’m not going to get gross, but I will say, I’ve spent a good amount of time in my restroom today. I feel like I’m being punished by my diet and by Taco Bell. I shouldn’t have eaten one of these, let alone 2. My body is rejecting these chalupas. I now remember why I don’t eat like this regularly anymore, and why I stay away from Taco Bell. As I said, I regret nothing, but my body sure does. The thing that frustrates me most is how long it took to take effect on me. I thought I was in the clear. I thought my stomach was going to let me get away with it. I thought, since Sunday is my day to eat whatever I want, I would be free from this feeling. Well, I was/am not. I should have only had one, but who’s to say I still wouldn’t feel like I do now? Taco Bell is evil, and I’m paying for it today. All of this isn’t to say that I won’t be going back to get more naked chicken chalupas, hell, I might get more this coming Sunday, but I will think about it a bit more.

The fact is that the naked chicken chalupa is great. I still love it. But, I despise the way it has made my body feel today. Was it worth it? Probably not. Will I buy more, eat them and deal with the aftermath? You better believe it. Go, please and buy these because they’re great. Just know, you will be in for a rough day the day after. God damn you Taco Bell. Why must you torture me so?

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. His body has not been properly trained for Taco Bell like the head editor. A strong regiment of chili cheese burritos should be all the training Ty needs.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

Long Live Taco Bell's Naked Chicken Chalupa

Taco Bell has big plans for you guys

I'm not much of a fan of Taco Bell. I have stated as much on the podcast. Hell, RD and I went into a big time debate early on in our podcast. He loves it, me, not so much. Everything there tastes the same to me. It is all one big goo of meat and random sauces. Now, this isn't to say that I do not go there. In fact, on days that I don't diet, Taco Bell is one of my go to fast food spots. It is cheap, and I know what I am going to get, and that it will satisfy me until it decides it is time to void my body. I want to give the right person credit, and I am pretty sure it is Matt Braugner, a fantastic stand up comedian, but he nails it when it comes to Taco Bell. He basically says that everything comes from what is basically a caulking gun, and that the food is meant for drunk people to "soak up the night". I mean, come on, that is too perfect.

I say all this because I am excited about something that I saw on my TV last night pertaining to Taco Bell. One thing I do "admire" about them, they always take chances. They come up with new food stuffs all the time. I remember when the chalupa first came out. I remember when they first started making their version of quesadillas. I have tried their take on fries. I haven't had their breakfast, but I have heard good and bad about it. I used to love their 2 shelled tacos, I can't remember what those are called (ed note: Double Decker Taco), but I do know that they were held together by a smear of refried beans, and their selection of drinks, even though it is a Pepsi establishment, and that is utter blasphemy, is pretty unique. But, the one new product they came out with a little over a year ago that I went nuts for was the naked chicken chalupa.

For those of you that don't know what that is, first off, you are a better person than me, second, it is a taco, but the "shell" is a piece of fried chicken shaped like a corn tortilla. When this first came out I stayed very, very far away. I did not want to lower myself to being a person that tried, and liked, a naked chicken chalupa. I had lost all this weight, I was calling myself a runner, I was, and still am, hiking all the time, and I was, still am, an avid basketball player. I didn't need the naked chicken chalupa. But, I was convinced by many, many people, who I trust, to try this thing. So, my wife and I ventured on over to Taco Bell on a day where I let myself eat whatever I wanted, and I tried one.

Oh my goodness was it amazing. I kid you not. I was floored by how good this naked chicken chalupa was. I couldn't believe that, of all places, Taco Bell made something so original, and tasted so good. This wasn't like their typical fare, this was unique. As I stated, the shell was a piece of fried chicken shaped to look like a shell. That is insane. Then, the inside had some lettuce, diced tomatoes and a little Mexican cheese blend. I put some fire sauce on it and I was hooked. I went back that day and got some more. I then went a few more time, just to get the naked chicken chalupa. Then, like some cruel joke, it was off the menu. No reason was given, other than it was seasonal, and I was crushed. I finally had a reason to got to Taco Bell, and not be ashamed of myself. I know it isn't healthy, but as a big time advocate of the Atkins diet, this was as close as Taco Bell, or any other fast food restaurant for that matter, has gotten since KFC made the double down, which is horrendous.

Lucky for me, I saw a commercial that brightened my day last night. Taco Bell has these new ads that are like throwbacks to old creepy news stories, and the guy that is the spokesperson said that they were bringing the naked chicken chalupa back. I was so excited I rewound the commercial and showed it to my wife, who was just as excited as I was. I'm not sure the exact date that they are bringing it back, for all I know, they already have them in the restaurant, but I know for god damn sure that I am going to buy a shit ton of them. This is a good thing that Taco Bell has done. They are bringing something back that was wildly successful, and hopefully this time, they keep it around for longer, or just put it on the menu permanently.

I know this is a weird and goofy thing to be excited about, but dammit, I'm pumped. Thank you Taco Bell. For once in your odd existence, you are doing the right thing. Long live the naked chicken chalupa.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He is not yet aware that there is a "Wild Naked Chicken Chalupa" that is advertised to be a little spicy. Dump some fire sauce on that thing and experience fast food heaven.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.

"Doughboys" Deserve all the Medals for their Great Podcast

All Tacos are golden

For the past three weeks the excellent podcast "Doughboys" has been holding their own "Olympic" games. They have called it the Doughlympic Susser Games. Much like their Tournament of Chompions, which they did during March Madness, the hosts, Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell, have proclaimed it a disaster. But, I have found myself really enjoying these games almost as much as the Tournament of Chompions. The Tournament of Chompions was more structured, but the Doughlympic Susser Games episodes of the podcast have been very listenable and very funny. Wiger and Mitchell continue to dump on themselves, but they have created a podcast that is very funny, and they have a lot of fans that look forward to each episode.

During the Doughlympics, they have placed contests between pizza chains, taco chains and they ended with coffee chains. Sure, they could have done it a bit differently, like placed Italian food versus Mexican food, but they chose to pit three of the same food stuffs against each other. At first I didn't think it was a good idea, but after a listen, it made total sense. For example, in the taco episode, they put the chains, Taco Bell, Del Taco and Chipotle up against each other. And, instead of just rating tacos, they had competitions for different types of food at the chains. They did hard and soft shell tacos. They also did burritos. They also compared nachos. As I said, it made sense. They gave themselves a short time limit to talk about each food, and when they were done, each restaurant got gold, silver or bronze. Then, Wiger would pick a song that "represented" that chain as their anthem, and he'd play a snippet from it. This was the theme throughout the past three weeks of the games. They did it with pizza chains and they ended the games this week with coffee chains. I thought it was a great idea to not just pick one food item to give medals to. That would have made the episodes way too short.

That is one of the best things about "Doughboys". I love the length of the episodes. I enjoy Mitchell and Wiger's back and forth. I love that their guests are, not only friends of theirs, but also fans of the podcast. They seem genuinely happy to be on the show. I have not thought, for one second, that the Doughlympic Susser Games was a waste of time. The only waste may have been Evan Susser himself, but that is his "role" on the podcast. He shoehorned his way in, but I find him funny on each episode. I even listened to the after show, "After Dough", and found it interesting.

The best thing about these particular episodes, they still kept the basis of their regular podcast. They still had a guest. They still did drops. Wiger still roasted Mitchell. They still read emails. They still did one of their many funny ending segments, i.e., "Snack or Wack". I found these games fun, but more importantly, funny.

I hope Mike Mitchell was just upset when he said they were going to end the podcast at the new year. He relented a bit on the most recent episode, saying that it might not end that soon, so there's still hope. I hope Nick Wiger and Mike Mitchell realize that they have fans that really enjoy this podcast. The fans, myself included, even like the episodes that the hosts may not care for. I can't recommend "Doughboys" enough. It's funny and a whole lot of fun to listen to, and yes, that includes the Doughlympic Susser Games. Keep up the great work guys.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. The editor is still upset that Ty dismissed the Quesalupa. That thing was awesome. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.

Cloves and Fedoras: Ty thinks you should give "Doughboys" a listen

Cloves and Fedoras is Seed Sings reviews for little known pieces of pop culture.  Feel free to contact us with your own submissions of undiscovered gems that must be known.

Ed note: The podcast is called Doughboys.  They do not feel the need to have the differentiated THE.  We have corrected the text.  Find this great podcast here.

I recently talked about a great podcast called "I Was There Too" by Matt Gourley.  I'm always on the hunt for new podcasts that are comedy centric and I've just discovered "Doughboys". The hosts of the show, Nick Wiger(writer for Comedy Bang Bang) and Mike Mitchell(Birthday Boys) have a guest join them each week and they go out and review restaurant chains. On the first episode, they go to Chili's and they review it as if they're professional restaurant critics, but with a comedy edge, since they're both comedy performers and writers. It's very funny, but they also take it kind of serious. I mean, they really give constructive feedback on the food. In the Chili's episode, they really take the ribs to task. Saying that they are too saucy and they look gray. But, with all that being said, they still seemed to enjoy the rest of their meal. The only other problem they had was, the drinks were too sweet. After they review the restaurant they give it a ranking of one to five forks and give their overall impression. While going through the review, there's always some kind of funny story or experience that they've had at said restaurant in the past. Following the fork review, they go to a segment they call "Snack or Wack", where they have some type of big brand name snack(Chocolate Chip Resse's Peanut Butter Cup Chocolate Chips Ahoy in the Chili's episode) and decide if the snack is good(Snack) or bad(Wack). Also, very funny to hear them rate these well known snack brands as if they are big time food critics. Being a fan of the Birthday Boys(both the comedy sketch team and the TV show) Mike Mitchell being attached to this made me excited to listen, since the Birthday Boys show was cancelled. I was just happy to see he was still doing things since he is my favorite Birthday Boy. They've only done three episodes, with the third one being released today, May 28th 2015. The restaurants they've reviewed are, the aforementioned Chili's, Taco Bell and today, IHOP. I highly recommend checking "Doughboys" out, it's pretty great.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for Seed Sing.  He will only visits restaurants that get reviewed.  He is eagerly looking forward to his first trip to Chili's, Taco Bell, and IHOP.