The Original "Mortal Kombat" Movie is Not Good

In preparation of the new "Mortal Kombat" movie I decided the other day that I wanted to revisit the original two movies that came out in the 90's. I haven't seen them in quite some time, and from what I remembered, I liked them but they were also kind of dumb.

I don't play many video games unless it is college football related. But the "Mortal Kombat" games I always found to be exciting for a little bit. I liked that I could mash buttons and win fights. I also liked to do the fatalities when I learned how to do those. I also remember being intrigued by these games because adults said they were violent. That was almost all I needed before turning the game on. So in playing the game with friends, when they announced a movie was going to be made, that had me stoked. I could not wait to see it. And when I went to the theaters, as a 13 year old mind you, the movie lived up to the hype for me. Yes, it was dumb and didn't follow the rules of the game, but hey, they said the famous lines and I got to hear the crazy techno song. That was all I needed at that time in my life. I don't remember "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation" at all, but I will rewatch that because I'm a completionist and have OCD. The movie that came out in 2021 was great for about four minutes. That opening scene is one of the coolest fights put to film. And they finally got an R rating, so the movie was filled with swear words and gore. But after that first scene the movie fell off a cliff. They focused on a character they created for the movie and that took away all the fun of what the game was all about. They also, and this goes for every movie, say there's going to be a big tournament, but they never really follow the rules of a tournament. The fighters just fight whoever they want and the only reward is their life. And even though I am ragging on the movies to this point, I'm still going to see the new movie and I'm sure I'll have some kind of complaint coming out of it. But that is not the point of my blog today. After rewatching the 1995 "Mortal Kombat", I have some thoughts.

First off, it is a dreadfully boring and bad movie. The fight scenes are lame. They only go on for about a minute. There's one fight where Liu Kang gets to go off for a little longer, but it still was very boring. The effects were horrendous as well. This came out in 95, so that means special effects were getting so much better. I mean, we got "Jurassic Park" two years before this movie. That movie gave us real looking dinosaurs. Hell, in the 70's we got great effects with "Star Wars". In this movie the effects were so lazy and slapdash. It was like looking at an old screen saver on a computer. You can literally see the green screen behind the actors. It is a true mess. It feels like they had some new people on the job, or they just decided to throw some nonsense together and put it on screen.

Then we have the actors. They were very bad and over the top. The scenery chewing was just bad too. It was not funny bad either, it was annoying. It really got to me. I despised Johnny Cage as well. I never liked his character to begin with, and this actor's portrayal really frustrated me. He was quippy and tried much too hard to be cool. Sonya was fine, but that is because I have enjoyed that actor's work ever since she was in "Billy Madison". And to cast Christopher Lambert as Raiden is problematic in every possible way. The voice he used was offensive. He wore Raiden's signature hat and that felt very wrong seeing it on screen. He had long white hair, which is fine, but it still felt weird to me. Raiden is an older lord who should be played by an Asian actor. They messed up in the second movie as well, casting James Remar. I hope they clean this mess up if he is in the new movie. To have two older white actors play him is very, very wrong.

But what made me most upset was the whole plot and story of this first movie. They kept mentioning a tournament and how they were going to fight the best fighters in the world. They said it over and over again. But when they get to the place, they all pick and choose who they're going to fight. There's no tournament. There's no climbing up the leaderboard. They all just decided on the spot who they were going to fight and they fought wherever they happened to be at any given moment.

I loathed this rewatch. I couldn't believe that I used to like this movie. Don't do what I'm doing unless you're a glutton for punishment. These movies are not good or fun at all. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Ty Watches "Mortal Kombat"

I watched “Mortal Kombat” this afternoon. As you all know well by now I was very pumped to see this movie. The game was taboo when I was a kid, the first movie was kind of blah, later iterations of the game were rad, and this new movie had pretty much everything in its corner to be epic.

Sadly, it is not.

This movie is very cheesy and not very good. I am pretty bummed. I wanted to love this movie, but I just cannot think of more than one character in this whole movie that I actually liked. There were also times that I scoffed, complained how cheesy it was and just found myself bored. I cannot believe it. The first seven minutes of this movie, I wrote about it last week, were great. There were stakes, the fight scenes were dope and the actors nailed everything they did. Then it was just downhill from there for me. There was a quick explanation of what the world has become, and boom, we are introduced to the main character, Cole. The guy who played him was fine, but man he was just a cliché through and through. He’s an older fighter, he doesn’t know why he’s been picked to fight in this other dimensional tournament, he leaves his training, but finds a reason to go back. It is a story lifted right from a bad 80’s movie. Jax, who was my favorite fighter in the video game, doesn’t get enough screen time, and when he’s there, his lines are nonsense. His battle with Sub Zero, more on him in a minute, was rad, and his battle scene at the end had the best fatality, but every other time he’s on screen it’s very blah. Sonya should’ve had a much better backstory, and they could’ve delved deeper into her reason for being here, but they don’t. Her story is all wrapped up way too quick. Kano is an asshole through and through. He could’ve been the comic relief, but he was way too much of a jackass. He has zero redeeming qualities. The “bad guys” from the Other World were all stupid, except for Sub Zero. The two lady fighters have as little brevity as Sonya. One of them is in two scenes, and she gets brutally murdered. The other one was pretty sinister, but she gets zero backstory. We know literally nothing about her, other than she likes blood. The four armed monster looked cool, but that’s it. The iron lung guy was more of a dick than Kano. The dude with the sledgehammer has no lines, and he gets his head exploded by Jax, one of the cooler scenes. And the main baddy, he is so much of a cliché that I groaned whenever he spoke. When Raiden, who was solid in this movie, banished him, I said out loud to no one, “thank goodness”.

On the good side, Sub Zero and Scorpion were the only two characters I cared about at all. They had the best fight scenes. They had the best stories. I would watch an entire movie just about the two of them. That would’ve made for a far better movie. Sub Zero is a great, great villain. He was the only one, well he and Scorpion, that I actually liked. I enjoyed their scenes. I was worried every time Sub Zero was on screen. His visual effects were the best. They should’ve done a series of movies, or a TV show about each character individually. That would’ve been so much better.

The makers of “Mortal Kombat” just tried to stuff too much into a 90 minute movie. And that ending scene, with Cole, that was rough. I really do not want them to make a sequel, especially one focused on Johnny Cage, who was lame as hell in the video game. Just make a stand alone Sub Zero origin movie. I’d much rather watch that. Sub Zero and the fight scenes were good, but everything else was pretty bad in this movie. I wish I was wrong. I wish this was better. But oh boy is this movie a clunker in my opinion. And that really stinks.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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I'm So Ready to See "Mortal Kombat"

The other day the internet did one of the few good things it does nowadays, and the people behind the new "Mortal Kombat" movie released the first seven minutes of the movie for free. I immediately watched it, then I watched it three more times after that. I am so very excited to see this movie. I am going to Columbia for a race this weekend so I will not be able to watch it the day it releases, but I will have watched it by early next week. That much I can promise you all.

As for now, that first seven minutes has only made me more excited to see the movie. Now, back in the 90's they tried to do video game movies, and not many of them were watchable. Hell, pretty much all of them were downright awful. I know RD likes "Street Fighter", but even he says it is a guilty pleasure. The "Super Mario Bros" movie is a total dumpster fire. And I feel like, and I could definitely be very wrong, but I am pretty sure they tried to make a "Mortal Kombat" movie, and it stunk (ed note: They made two, and the first one is terribly good with a great techno soundtrack). The problem I have found as I have gotten older is all the video game movies from the 90's wanted to appeal to kids and teenagers, so they went for the PG, or in some very rare cases, a PG-13 rating. That takes away all the fun of the video game. I get that the studios wanted to make money, wanted to appeal to a mass audience, but to not go for the R, or even a hard R, that was their downfall. Those movies were doomed to fail. From what I saw in the first seven minutes of the new "Mortal Kombat" movie, it is a very hard R. It is "Deadpool", but with more violence.

The part that was released shows a humongous body count already and some of the most kickass choreography for fight scenes that I have seen in a movie since "John Wick 3". Then add on the fact that the guy who plays Scorpion loses his wife and son, Sub Zero freezes them and puts a frozen dagger through Scorpion's wife, which makes him hungry for revenge, adds some backstory to this movie. The way he dismisses the assassins that are sent to get him is amazing. I was astonished, while also exclaiming, "that was almost too much blood". I rarely have visceral reactions at movies, and this little portion already gave me one. That is a good sign for me as a movie watcher. I also liked seeing Sub Zero before he was in his fighting suit. I liked seeing the origin of Scorpion's dagger that he throws at people while saying, "GET OVER HERE". Apparently, according to this movie, it is his wife's gardening tool that he uses as his weapon of choice, which is rad. And this portion that was released only showed us two of the, I believe, eight main characters that will be fighting each other in this upcoming movie. There are four bad people and four good people. A nice equal competition.

My main takeaway from this was how good the movie looks overall. The writers seemed to have crafted a story that is easy to follow, and one that is interesting. The choreography, which I mentioned, is like watching a very violent ballet. The actors seem legit. They can act, and they can fight. That rules to me. And there seems to be some kind of brevity, something the good guys will be fighting for.

I am so amped to see this movie. I really cannot wait. I hope the rest lives up to the seven minutes I have already seen. But at this point it would have to be a real dud for me not to find it, at the very least, highly enjoyable. Go check out the video on the internet right now, and if you plan on watching it this opening weekend, and are a friend or family member of mine, do not spoil it for me. I'm going to watch it ASAP. I hope this movie lives up to the hype. The early signs are that it will, and that is good news.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

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SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.