Better Never Than Late on "Dark Phoenix"

For quarantine date night my wife and I watched "Mad Max Fury Road". It was its release day birthday, my wife hadn't seen it and I wanted her to experience the awesomeness that is that movie. But, I am not going to write about that today. We have been very vocal on how much both RD and I LOVE that movie. I think we have said pretty much everything we can say about its greatness. It is a perfect movie.

On the day after quarantine date night, Sunday, we decided to watch "Dark Phoenix". It was on cable, we hadn't seen it yet and we are completists when it comes to "X-Men". I had heard not so good things about the movie, and my wife mentioned the same. She also rented the movie awhile back when she was home sick from work. So the fact that she didn't remember it should have been our first sign that maybe we shouldn't watch. But, we did see "X-Men Origins: Wolverine". We watched "Apocalypse". We saw the other Wolverine movie, the one in Japan, which I actually liked. We have seen them all. So we had to see. Maybe the critics were wrong, maybe it was the fever that caused my wife to forget, maybe, just maybe, they finally got this story right, maybe they did what "X-Men 3" tried to, but couldn't.

Well, and it bums me out to say this, this is the worst "X-Men" movie I have seen. That's right, I would rather watch "Origins" than "Dark Phoenix" if I had to pick. I mean, I don't want to watch either, but "Dark Phoenix" was just so very boring. Everything about the movie, for me, just didn't work. I felt like all the actors kind of phoned it in. James McAvoy, Sophie Turner, Michael Fassbender, they all just knew it was the end. Jennifer Lawrence seemed extremely checked out too. I know she said she didn't want to do this anymore, and boy did that show. Her death scene, which makes zero sense in the "X-Men" world, could have been very dramatic and moving. It was not. It was quick and easy to see coming. Nicolas Hoult, who I really like, was not good as Beast. I could hear his accent slip in and out, he seemed to have very little interest in the role and looked like he wished he was anywhere else. Both McAvoy and Fassbender seemed happy to just cash the check.

The thing that made this so disappointing was the story. Jean Gray has such a cool story. She is the most powerful X-Men. She can do what Professor X does to the nth degree. She is also very strong. She can fly. And she is an incredibly conflicted character. She has all the elements for what should be a very good story. The writers did not do that. They wrote scenes that seemed to drag. Sophie Turner, try as she might, had to deliver some super cheesy lines. Same thing with Lawrence. They had to do that with straight faces. My props to them. But all the stuff with Gray, as a kid, going to the academy, then becoming all powerful, it just seemed to drag on screen. There were too many scenes explaining stuff as opposed to showing her power. Her conflict was boring and cliche. The way she handled herself, especially when the bad guys came, it was all far too easy to see what was going to happen. The stuff with her and Cyclops made me opine for the relationship between grown up Jean Gray and him, and my wife and I call him "Cryclops". Like, it just didn't work at all. Even the big fight scene was not very good. My wife said that she thought she remembered it being solid, but that was with her fever addled brain. The fight scene was boring, they kept cutting back to Gray as a kid and there was only one good moment, when Magneto crushed a train car and tossed it aside.

My point? "Dark Phoenix" is not a good movie. It is not even a fun good movie. It was a bummer, and they should be able to get this story right. I hope someone else tries, like they did with "Logan", because Jean Gray's story is a great one. But "Dark Phoenix" way missed the mark for me. I'd skip this one if I were you. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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"Alien: Covenant" is a Pointless Way to Spend Your Holiday Movie Watching Weekend

Spend the unofficial star of summer here, not in Ridley Scott's Alien world

First off, Happy Memorial Day. I'm a little conflicted as a person on this day. I support the troops and those that fought for the freedom of this country, but I am vehemently opposed to war, and I HATE our current government. So, for me this Memorial Day, I choose to remember family members that fought in wars, and Harambe. It is just over one year since we lost Harambe. Those are the people I will memorialize on this day.

Now that that is out of the way, lets get to my review of "Alien: Covenant".

I was very excited to see this movie. I, like most movie watchers, love "Alien" and "Aliens". Those are 2 exceptional, scary, tight paced horror movies that happen in outer space. I'm not a big fan of horror movies, but there is something about being in space that attracts me to movies like "Alien" and "Aliens". There is nothing more I can say about those movies that hasn't already been said. They're classics.

On the other hand, "Prometheus" is one big pile of trash. I was so stoked to see that movie when it came out a few years back. I was pumped that they were going to do a prequel to 2 great movies. I was so excited that one of my favorite actors, Michael Fassbender, was going to have a big part in it. I loved that Damon Lindelof, of "Lost" fame, was writing it. It had everything that I thought I wanted. Then, I watched the movie and I just hated it. It was boring, incoherent, poorly acted, poorly written, terribly directed, it was bad. My wife fell asleep during all the big scenes, and I wished I had to. The only decent thing, and I use decent very loosely, was Fassbender. That dude is a great actor. I so wanted Noomi Rapace to be awesome, and while she was okay, she was no Sigourney Weaver. Everyone else was just awful. "Prometheus" nearly turned me off "Alien" and "Aliens". But, I re watched them both, and I was back on board.

Then, about a year ago, I heard that Ridley Scott was returning to do a new "Alien" movie. I got excited once again. Then, when I saw pictures of the set, heard about the cast and heard that the Xenomorhps would be back, needless to say, I was going to see this movie. The movie came out a couple of weeks ago, but with it being a holiday weekend, I had a chance to see it yesterday, and my dad and I took advantage of our open afternoon, and we went to see it. I sat down in my chair fully expecting to fall in love all over again with this franchise. This one was definitely was going to be better than "Prometheus" I said to myself.

The opening credits rolled, And yes, it was better than "Prometheus",  but, this wasn't the movie I was hoping for when I first heard about it. The movie got decent reviews, but the consensus of the mass critics kind of summed it up perfectly. They said it was a nice return to form, and better than "Prometheus", but that it didn't add anything new to the franchise. I thought that was spot on. Everything about this movie was fine. Nothing was terrible, but nothing was great. The actors were all pretty decent, highlighted by Danny McBride and Michael Fassbender. Fassbender had dual roles, as 2 versions of his robot, and he played his part very well. I totally bought it. McBride, who I have only ever seen in comedies, I thought handled the drama, suspense and horror very well. Everyone else did okay. Not great, just okay. Katherine Waterson as Daniels, essentially the Sigourney Weaver role, was kind of a bad ass, but nowhere near as bad ass as Weaver. The rest of the crew was blah. Billy Crudup, Demian Bichir, Carmen Ejogo, Jussie Smollett, Callie Hernandez and Amy Seimetz didn't really leave any kind of impression on me. They were just there. The story was still a bit slow too. They focused a bit too much on Fassbender's robot, and that was to their demise. They relied a bit too much on Fassbender's great acting I think. The action sequences were okay, but they did not blow me away. In fact, you could definitely see the CGI in a few scenes.

Say something positive I keep hearing my mother say. With that in mind, the best part of the movie was the Xenomorhps, and the other aliens that scurried through the forest. They were definitely scary and crazy looking. My only problem with the aliens though, we saw the main Xenomorph in the previews. They should have held that out. It would have made it so much more cooler had I not known it was coming.

All this being said, "Alien: Covenant" was better than "Prometheus", but that is not a compliment. I expected a whole lot more from this movie. Maybe my expectations were too high, but I really wanted this movie to be a lot better. I'm glad I saw it, I am a completist. But, it just wasn't as great as I wanted it to be. I had higher hopes.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Harambe also loved "Alien" and "Aliens". The world owed him a better film than "Alien: Covenant".

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If You Listen to the Critics, you Might Miss Out On Good Movies Like "X-Men: Apocalypse"

It is your choice alone to sit in the movie theater

Last night I finally got around to seeing "X-Men: Apocalypse". As you all know by now, I am a big X-Men fan. They are my favorite group of superheroes, Wolverine is the best superhero all time and I pretty much like all the mutants that make up the X-Men. I think their stories are the most unique and the coolest, by far. I have liked all the X-Men movies, with the exception being "X-Men Origins: Wolverine". It pains me to say that because of my love for Wolverine, but it is a bad movie. I almost put "X-Men 3" as the other bad movie because that ending is an abomination, but the first 3/4 of that movie is very interesting and kind of cool. The ending is just so, so terrible.

I put off seeing "X-Men: Apocalypse" for so long before the reviews were luke warm at best. The critics said that it was a waste of a good cast and the actors played cliché characters. They were hardest on Oscar Issac, who played Apocalypse, but I thought he did just fine. In fact, I enjoyed this movie.

My blog today is not a review, but more so an indictment of critics. But, I will give a short review. "X-Men: Apocalypse" is not even close to the same level as some other movies in the X-Men universe. "X-Men 2", "X-Men", "X-Men: First Class" and "X-Men: Days of Future Past" are all better movies than "Apocalypse". But,as I said, I enjoyed all 2 and a half hours. I was never bored, the story was interesting and I really liked the acting. Michael Fassbender, James McCavoy, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicolaus Hoult and the kid that played Havoc were all just fine reprising their roles. And the new people, the girl from "Game of Thrones" as young Jean Grey, the kid that played young Cyclops, the young Nightcrawler and young Storm, Psylock and Oscar Issac, I thought they all did a good job. I felt that "Apocalypse" was a fine addition to the X-Men pantheon. It was a good popcorn movie and I think most people would enjoy it if they watched it.

This all leads me to my main point. After the movie, I checked back on Rotten Tomatoes and Metacritic and IMDB and other sites like that to see if I misread the reviews. Well, I did not misread anything. The movie scored a 44% on Rotten Tomatoes, hovered right around a 5/10 on Metacritic and IMDB and seemed to be considered a flop by most websites that compile critics reviews. I read most of the consensus' on each site, and they all said virtually the same thing. They said the movie was "overwrought with action and clichéd characters that take away from a compelling story and good actors".

I could not disagree more. First off, overwrought with action? It is a god damn superhero movie. Superhero movies are supposed to be filled with action because they have superheroes in them. The same critics did not say this about movies like "Captain America: Civil War" or any other X-Men movie, and I feel like all those had way more action scenes than "Apocalypse". "Civil War" was basically all action, and critics loved that movie. I think it is a better movie too, but it is not that much better than "Apocalypse". And all the other X-Men movies that these same critics loved, like "Days of Future Past" for instance, they loved the action scenes and said they added so much to the story. I love the scene where Magneto destroys that baseball field in "Days of Future Past", but there was also a very similar scene in "Apocalypse", and the critics claimed it was "overwrought with action sequences". That is totally baffling to me.

Then, to call the characters cliché, what were they expecting? These characters are already in the ether. They have all been established a long, long time ago by the creators of the X-Men comic books. They cannot be any more clichéd than the characters in the comic books that I'm sure these critics read and loved. That is such a blanketed, ill-conceived criticism, in my opinion. I understand when they say that about a movie that does not have established characters, but saying it about a superhero movie is asinine. If these characters are clichéd, so is Captain America, Iron Man, Dr. Strange, basically any superhero, that these critics gave wonderful, glowing reviews, they are all clichéd. They are all the same character that they are in the comic books, so they are clichéd versions of their comic book characters. I'm sorry critics, but you cannot have it both ways. If the people that made these movies started to add new characters themselves, rabid fans would demolish them on social media, and I guarantee that you critics would chastise the people writing these movies for adding new, unnecessary people in an established universe.

I just do not understand the hatred for "Apocalypse" coming from so many well-known critics. I feel like they need to bad mouth some movies sometimes just because. they have no real reason, they just want to dislike something, so they choose the new superhero movie coming out with big expectations, and that is the one that they are going to crush on their websites and papers. This may be the same thing that happened with "Batman V Superman", but that movie had a director with a known track record of being mediocre. The X-Men movies have a well established, albeit a creepy dude, directing these movies, and for the most part, they have gotten glowing reviews.

I guess what I'm really trying to say is, do not trust critics, me included. If you want to see, read or listen to something, do it. Do not base your decision on what these people say. I wish I hadn't waited so long to see "Apocalypse", but I read, and trusted these critics, and it was the wrong choice. I try not to listen to critics, but I made a mistake. I really enjoyed "Apocalypse", and I think most fans of superhero and X-Men movies will enjoy it too. Check it out, if you want.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He has not been kind to the movie critics this year. Hear him talk about it all on a classic X Millennial Man Podcast that is all about the Oscars.