Ty Ranks the 2023 NFL Teams: Flat Faygo Chocolate Cream Soda Division

The next ten days of my blog are going to be football related. I want to let the readers know going ahead. We have both the NFL and NCAA seasons right around the corner, and you all know how much I enjoy football, especially college football. I love doing these blogs also. They are some of my favorites. For the next eight days I will rank the NFL teams from 32-1, then I'll do my postseason and awards predictions on day nine. Day ten is dedicated to college football, and I will do my massive preview and predictions then. Gear up everyone, football is near. This blog will have to suffice until then.

Okay, coming in at dead last in my preseason ranking, at number 32 I have the Arizona Cardinals. This team was a playoff team just a few short years ago. But look at where they are now. Kyler Murray is coming off a pretty devastating injury and looked disillusioned before he got hurt. Deandre Hopkins has been replaced by the undersized Rondale Moore. The o line is not the best. James Conner's prime came and went a while ago. I could say the same for Zach Ertz. The defense is very thin, and their best player, Budda Baker, will most likely be on a different team before this season ends. The Cardinals stink. They will not win many games, and they may be the best bet to get the first overall pick in the 2024 draft.

At 31 I have the Houston Texans. I very much like the CJ Stroud and Will Anderson pick. I'm all in on both of them. I know Stroud looked rough in his preseason debut, but the dude can play. He will figure it out. And Will Anderson can wreck backfields right away. He was a beast in college, he has the determination to blow up and I think he will be an upper tier edge rusher sooner rather than later. Outside those guys, it is not great. Nico Collins is an okay receiver, but not a number one guy yet. I don't even know who Dameon Pierce is, but he is the projected running back starter. Robert Woods is cashed as an upper level wideout. The o line is meh. They overpaid for Dalton Schultz. The defense, outside Anderson Jr, is either too young and not ready, or a bunch of no names. Derek Stingley is good, but he may get traded. Sheldon Rankins had a moment, but who knows if that will happen again. I like that they picked Henry To'oTo'o, but he isn't a starter yet. The Texans are still rebuilding. They made some solid picks this past draft, but that won't pay off right away. They need time. But don't expect a quick rebuild.

At number 30 I have the Las Vegas Raiders. I have very little hope for this team. They have made some wild offseason decisions. Some would call their offseason head scratching. I would be part of that some. I also think Josh McDaniles is way in over his head and thinks he is a better coach than he really is. To not give Josh Jacobs an extension is dumb. He is one of the better backs in the league, he was their leader on offense and he will not play for them again. That is my prediction. He is going to be traded very soon. They replaced Derek Carr, who is wildly overrated, with Jimmy Garroppolo. I mean, Garoppolo is either hurt or, at best, a game manager. That won't mesh with no Josh Jacobs. Davante Adams deserves better than this. I know he wanted out of Green Bay, but him having to play for this team feels cruel. He's too good to be wasted on this team. The o line is good, but they will have an entire new backfield to block for that will not be as good as it was a season ago. The defense is good, but they will be wasted as well. They will have to win games, and they are not equipped for that much responsibility. Marcus Peters is awesome. So is Maxx Crosby. Chandler Jones still has moments, but the defense will be tasked with too much and it will show by the middle of the year. The Raiders should be better, but due to the front office and coaching staff, they are going to find it tough to be competitive.

The final team for the day, at number 29 I have the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. They're going to try Baker Mayfield now. We have already seen how that story goes. They let Leonard Fournette walk and replaced him with Rachaad White. Who is that? Mike Evans is in a similar situation to Davante Adams. His talent is wasted here. Chris Godwin deserves better. The o line deserves better. They have no QB and run game. Scoring will be tough. The defense is nowhere near what they were when they won the Super Bowl in 2020. Everyone who is still on the team from then is older. Devin White is still good, but not the player he was in 2020. Antoine Winfield Jr is one of the better safeties in the league, but not a marquee guy anymore. Shaquil Barrett has the goods, but he has not been consistent yet. Lavonte Davis is dope, but he lacks consistency as well. Vita Vea is more known for shotgunning Gatorade than anything else at this point in his career. This team is a far cry from its Super Bowl championship, and I have zero faith in Baker Mayfield being a good starter ever in the NFL. The Bucs are going to have a tough season.

That is it for today. Come back for the next four teams tomorrow. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Ty's 2022 NFL Preview - Trying the New Locally Brewed Beer Division

Welcome back to my 2022 NFL countdown. Hope you all enjoyed your weekend.

Starting the countdown today, at number 12 I have the Denver Broncos. The Broncos probably made the biggest move of the offseason when they acquired Russell Wilson. I have never been a fan, but he is a very good QB. He knows what to do and he does it very well. Wilson is the type of QB that can turn the fate of a franchise around right away. This team is going to go from a non playoff threat to an actual playoff team. They also got Melving Gordon III on a cheap deal to backup Javonte Williams, who has potential to be a solid back. Jerry Jeudy is a solid receiver. KJ Hamler is a perfect third wideout. He is going to be the Broncos version of Tyler Lockett. Courtland Sutton is good enough. Their O line is very good and is getting better. Russell Wilson will enjoy not running for his life all the time. The Broncos defense may not have Von Miller anymore, but they still have Bradley Chubb. He is very, very good at football. They have a decent secondary. The D line is not full of names, but they are good. The Broncos D has not been the problem, it has always been the QB. Now they have a legit top five QB in the NFL. They will win 10 or 11 games and be in the hunt for the playoffs all season long.

At number 11 I have the Las Vegas Raiders. I almost called them the Oakland Raiders. Las Vegas is still odd to me. I do not trust Derek Carr at all. He is not a winning QB. He is a game manager at his very best. He is not worth the humongous contract they gave him. They got Davante Adams, and that is very, very big. He is the best receiver in the NFL. He will elevate Carr's game, and the familiarity with Carr is solid. But why are they trying to trade Josh Jacobs? He is a very good back. Why is Hunter Renfrow the number two wideout? He is, at best, a slot receiver. Darren Waller is good, but he keeps getting hurt. The O line is okay enough. The D had a big year. It was why they got into the playoffs last year. Maxx Crosby is legit. Chandler Jones is a great linebacker. So is Denzel Perryman. Rock Ya Sin is a good corner and he has a cool ass name. The Raiders D can play. I just keep going back to Derek Carr at QB. He is a liability and could halt any momentum they had from last season. With all that though, the Raiders are a 10 win team and a likely playoff contender.

At number 10 I have the Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles made some very good moves this offseason. AJ Brown was a great addition. Devonta Smith had a monster rookie year. He will build on that. If Miles Sanders can stay healthy he is an upper tier running back. This will all benefit Jalen Hurts, who I like a whole lot. He has a cannon for an arm. He is a great runner. He is so good at the read option game. And this is year three for him. Time to show up. The O line is very good at run blocking as well. The Eagles D got Hasson Reddick this offseason. This is a great reclamation project for them. Darius Slay is very good. Josh Sweat should have a big season. Anthony Harris is a solid safety. Brandon Graham is back. Fletcher Cox is one of the best D lineman in the league. The Eagles are in a put up or shut up year. I think they will show up. I believe they can win 11 games and their division.

At number 9 I have the Dallas Cowboys. I do not like the Cowboys. I have never liked the Cowboys. I feel that the Cowboys are the most overrated team in the NFL. They consistently fall flat on their faces every season. They are irrelevant. That being said, I do like Dak Prescott. He is pretty awesome. He is one hell of a QB. The dude can sling the ball. I do believe that Ezekial Elliot is fully overrated. He got his big deal and has gotten worse every season since. He is not feared. He is not an every down back. He may get passed by Tony Pollard this season, who I like a lot. There is no more Amari Cooper. Ceedee Lamb, who is very solid, will step into his place. He and Prescott will make for a lethal duo. Michael Gallup is okay. I have no idea who Jalen Tolbert is. The Cowboys O line was their best unit. While still very good. they aren't as dominant as previous seasons. I have zero faith in the Cowboys defense. The defense is not very good, and that is why the offense needs to sling the ball so much. Leighton Vander Esch is wildly overrated. DeMarcus Lawrence's best days are behind him. Anthony Barr is a headcase. Jayron Kearse is very blah. But they do have two rising stars on D. Micah Parsons is going to be a force in the league. And Trevon Diggs is an intercepting machine. These dudes are wonderful. The Cowboys are like Gonzaga. On paper they look great. But when it gets to the nitty gritty they fold up. They will win double digit games and be in a dogfight with the Eagles all season. But come playoff time, who knows which Cowboys team will show up.

That is it for today. Come back tomorrow for the next four teams.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

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Ty Ranks the 2021 NFL Teams - Playing a Game in January Division

Day five of my 2021 NFL countdown begins with my number 16 team the Los Angeles Rams.

We are only three years removed from them being in the Super Bowl. Sean McVay came out of the box with a bang but it looks like the better teams may have figured him out. They also have an almost entirely new roster, especially on offense, from that team that went to the Super Bowl. They traded for Matthew Stafford. I have written about this trade twice now. It is almost a totally even swap. Stafford has a much bigger arm than Jared Goff, but he cannot stay healthy and he has never been further than the first round of the playoffs. He also doesn't have a Calvin Johnson type receiver to just chuck the ball in the air and hope they come down with it. I was kind of stunned when they let Todd Gurley walk a season ago. They paid him big money and they just cut him. They are now left with Darrell Henderson Jr and Xavier Jones. Sure they don't make as much as Gurley did, but had Gurley gotten the proper time to rehab they might now be in this predicament. Robert Woods is a fine receiver, Cooper Kupp is a poor man's Julian Edelmann and Desean Jackson is old. The O line is serviceable. Why the Rams are here, and not somewhere in the 20's is their defense. Aaron Donald is the most dominant player in the NFL. He is the best D lineman I have ever watched. Jalen Ramsey is a world class corner. He is almost as lockdown as Charles Woodson. He is so good. Taylor Rapp is a heat seeking missile and interception machine. Leonard Floyd is a good linebacker. McVay may have gotten this job based on his offensive mind, but the Rams will win with defense. The question is can they win enough to make a playoff push. They feel like an eight win team, but if they win nine games that wouldn't surprise me. Neither would six wins.

My number 15 team is the Minnesota Vikings. First and foremost, Kirk Cousins is a moron. I cannot stand him. At all. He is such a crummy dude, and he is not that good of an NFL QB. He got all that guaranteed money and what do the Vikings have to show for it? 0 playoff wins in two appearances with him as their guy. Dalvin Cook is a very good running back when healthy. He gets hurt far too often, but it does look like he has put in work this offseason to bulk up and try to stay on the field. Justin Jefferson was phenomenal last year. He was a revelation. Adam Thielen is a fine wideout, he is just a bit overrated. Irv Smith is a fine tight end. The O line is fine. The defense has taken steps back every year under Mike Zimmer. Everson Griffin is good, but he has some demons he needs to figure out. Danielle Hunter is an okay D lineman, but maybe he has already played his best football. Patrick Peterson was a good pickup, but he is much older and has kind of fallen off each season. Anthony Barr is okay at linebacker. The Vikings had a teeny tiny window and it looks like they blew it. Until they can move on from Cousins this team is destined to underperform. They are a .500 team at best.

My number 14 team is the Las Vegas Raiders. The Raiders are slowly building some semblance of a playoff contender. They seem to be putting in some kind of work. Derek Carr isn't great but he isn't bad. He needs to just manage the game and minimize mistakes. Josh Jacobs has that look of having a breakout year. The time seems to have come. Hunter Renfrow and Henry Ruggs look to be a solid receiver duo, if Carr can get them the ball. The O line is okay enough to keep the QB upright and open holes for Jacobs. The Raiders have taken big swings on defensive players way early in the draft, but maybe they put it together this year. Clelin Ferrell has shown flashes. Yannick Ngakoue was one of the most coveted free agents a few seasons ago. Maybe he finds his footing again. Trayvon Mullen has the ability to be a good cover corner. So does Johnathan Abram. The Raiders do have some players, but I still do not trust Jon Gruden. I love that they are requiring a negative test or proof of vaccine to come to the games this season though. Maybe the Raiders put it together this year and make a playoff push. I see them as an eight or nine win team.

The final team for the day, and week for that matter, at number 13 is the Los Angeles Chargers. They should still be in San Diego but that is a topic for another day. Justin Herbert kind of shocked me last season. He sat for a bit, but when he came in he looked confident and ready to go. He has a big arm, can see over the line and will listen to coaching. That pick doesn't look so bad a year later. Austin Ekeler has truly proven he deserves the starting running back role this year. He is a very good all around back. Keenan Allen is one of the best route runners in the NFL and he has great hands. Mike Williams is big and physical and when healthy he can do damage. The O line is very good and got better with the addition of Rashawn Slater. The defense has some dudes. Joey Bosa is an asshole, just like his brother, but the dude can play. He has proven that. He's still a dickhead though. Kenneth Murray is a throwback linebacker, and I will thoroughly enjoy watching him play football this season. Derwon James is amazing. He is so good in the secondary. He can do it all. And I like Nasir Adderley. The Chargers have the guys. They should make a playoff push. Hell, they should be in the playoffs. I felt they did not give their past head coach a fair shot, but they moved on. The new coach could reap the rewards of his hard work. The Chargers should win nine games this season. That is it for today and this week.

Come back on Monday for the next four teams.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

Come and support Ty and the podcast on Patreon.

Follow Ty on instagram and twitter.

SeedSing is funded by a group of awesome people. Join them by donating to SeedSing.