SeedSing's Advent Calendar of Awesome Holiday Music: Day 7 - The Man in the Santa Suit

ed note: This article was originally published on December 7th, 2015

The pre-Christmas Day season of Advent is upon us. Here at SeedSing we love the chocolaty goodness of getting a piece of candy once a day until we get to open our presents. As our gift to you we will present a new awesome holiday song for every day of Advent. This is the greatest music of the season. Enjoy.

Day 7: The Man in the Santa Suit by Fountains of Wayne

Opened Doors: One, Two, Three, Four, Five, Six

I am embarrassed to know how much actual money Santa makes, and that real beard Santa makes the most money (nothing celebrates the season by shamelessly ripping off the great film Snowpiercer). I have this knowledge because my first professional job was to book performers for parties, including Santa. Many the performers I worked with were semi-normal, professional people. In the sea of clowns, magicians, and Elvis impersonators, the Santas were not quite as normal.  There was an air of desperation and sadness to the group. I paid Santa well, but money does not always buy jolliness. My theory was that these men could only make really good money a few weeks out of the year. To make this extra income these men had to endure a grueling gauntlet of uncooperative kids, demanding parents, and childless adult idiots that wanted themselves (and their dogs) to sit on Santa's lap. I paid Santa well because he had a tough and thankless job.

Fountains of Wayne, one of the Greatest American Bands, included "The Man in the Santa Suit" on their 2005 B-sides double album Out of State Plates. The tune perfectly captures the sad inner life of a mall Santa. Starting with the acknowledgment of "Santa" being a union laborer with a significant other who works at the hair salon. Mr. and Mrs. Claus seemingly live paycheck to paycheck. There is no holiday spirit to uplift Fountains of Wayne's protagonist, he just needs the money. What follows is a list of troubles Santa always has during the Christmas season. There are snot nosed kids who make fun of Santa's appearance (if that Jerry Garcia beard is real, Santa is making double this year), younger kids are throwing up on Jolly Old Saint Mall Nick, and all the older kids are commenting on Santa's beer for breakfast. Being  Santa is not as joyous as popular culture may have led us to believe. 

Santa's troubles are not just with the kids. The fellows at the local tavern also get on Santa's case. After a day of dealing with kids, barf, and attitude, Santa gets called names by the grownups. The world is filled with superficial jerks, and Santa is not immune to their attacks. Being overweight and harry in December may pay some bills, but it does not get one away from ridicule. The cruelty of people does not take a holiday during Christmastime.

"The Man in the Santa Suit" is on point for why any grown man would go through these troubles, it is all about the money. The name calling, the kids, the indignity of it all is worth the money. Fountains of Wayne's protagonist is zen about his current place in the world. He is getting paid for his looks. That is the hairy fat man's victory. He needs the money, and he has an opportunity to enhance his bank account. The bills will be paid up in Santa and Loretta's house this December. Merry Christmas to them.

On your way to the mall give "The Man in the Santa Suit" a listen. Understand what Jolly Old Saint Mall Nick is going through. Be nice to Santa. Every man who puts on the red suit this year will deal with more trouble than any one person deserves. In November my office used to be a revolving door of chubby hairy men looking for work. In January I was being sent a lot of small gifts as thanks. I paid Santa, and Santa needed the money. Santa deserved the money.

RD Kulik

RD is the Head Editor for SeedSing. He is chubby enough to be Santa, but his jolliness needs some work. Any Santas out their that want to give us a gift - Support SeedSing.

The Greatest American Band Debate: Fountains of Wayne

So what exactly is the Great American Band?  Is it just the best rock band that happens to be American?  If the Beatles or the Rolling Stones were American, would this conversation essentially be over?  I’m not convinced.  There’s a lot of talk in literary circles about the mythical Great American Novel, with the understanding that said novel is supposed to Say Something about The American Experience (a la The Great Gatsby or Huckleberry Finn).  If that’s the case, then the great American band should be not just a great band who happens to be American.  It should be a band that says something quintessentially American.

With that in mind, I’m going out on a limb to nominate Fountains of Wayne.  As in “Stacy’s Mom?”  Yes.  Hear me out.  Not to be one of those “but I knew them when” types, but I remember hearing their infectious first single “Radiation Vibe” on college radio, and instantly loving it.  A few years later, I heard the song “Troubled Times,” bought their first two albums, and was hooked.  All this is just to say that when I heard “Stacy’s Mom” on the radio, I had more context for it than most people.

Music first:  Most of their music is a mix of pop/rock styles.  It’s slightly off-kilter guitar driven power pop, sometimes with a little low-fi sheen.  There are rock, country, punk, and folk influences here, along with great harmonies and a little indie whine-rock thrown in for good measure.  More importantly, these guys write a hook like nobody’s business.  You’ve likely heard Adam Schlesinger’s songcraft in the movies.  He wrote the Wonders’ big hit, so you can blame him if you can’t get “That Thing You Do” out of your head.   If you’ve seen the film “Music and Lyrics” (which I don’t really recommend), you know that Schlesinger also has the chops to write a credible Wham! knockoff such as “Meaningless Kiss.”  (Look it up on YouTube right now.  I’ll wait.)  

But dig a little deeper, beyond the killer pop hooks, and you’ll hear Fountains of Wayne creating masterful songs about the suburban experience for Generation X America.  All the little details underscore the theme:  the power pop/punk melodies, the finely observed lyrical humor, and finally Chris Collingwood’s vocal performance, with its straightforward “everyman” delivery.  Part of the hip hop tradition is to talk about Gulfstream, the Palms, and Prada to seem glamorous and out of reach.  On the flip side, Fountains of Wayne name checks more prosaic and accessible brands like Subaru, La Quinta, and the Gap.  Even the seemingly fluffy “Stacy’s Mom” captures a sense of ennui, where the most exciting woman you know is your friend’s hot mom.  That whole album, the aptly titled Welcome Interstate Managers, is largely about the banal underpinnings of suburban life.  There’s a cheery song about a traveling salesman with an alcohol problem; another about waiting for a red notification light; and another about a Sunday morning with a significant other, drinking coffee while watching “Face the Nation.”

This theme runs through Fountains of Wayne’s entire catalog.  They’ve even done one of my favorite Christmas songs, “The Man in the Santa Suit,” which peers into the life of the poor schmuck who dons that red suit for the extra cash.  The image of a mall Santa who is “sweaty and smells like beer” is funny, but he’s been led there by his blue-collar cash strapped existence.  

Like most of us, as the band aged, the theme went from the youthful detachment of the mid-90’s to a little more fatalism in the post-9/11, post-Great Recession era.  Their latest album contains the elegiac song “Cemetery Guns,” about a military funeral on the Illinois plains.  The song focuses its attention on the grieving young widow, but it suggests that her life has been upended by a centuries-long cycle of military-industrial conquest.  While they aren’t raging, exactly, there is no mistaking the resignation of the lyric “Godspeed their reckless sons, who evermore play their forefathers’ hands on the foreign sands.”  Plus ça change, et cetera...

“Okay Tina, fine,” you say.  “They’re more than Stacy’s Mom.  But great American band?”  Fountains of Wayne’s music is a sardonic and melancholy reflection of middle class life disguised as upbeat power pop.  It’s the Reagan era’s sunny facade imperfectly plastered over that famous Gen X apathy.  What’s more American than that?

Tina S

Tina is an infrequent contributor, somewhat scientist, and tennis fan. She could not sit on the sidelines while we ignored great bands. Follow her lead and nominate your Greatest American Band.