Ty Watches "Jurassic World Rebirth"

I saw three movies this weekend, written about two that I liked, and now I'm going to talk about the one I wasn't so into.

My wife and I really love the original "Jurassic Park". It was one of my favorite movies growing up. I was obsessed with dinosaurs and seeing them "come back to life" was pretty important to me. They tried to make a few sequels that weren't so great. Although, I did find some things to enjoy in the third installment. Then Chris Pratt was tabbed to play the star in the reboot, "Jurassic World". These movies, especially the third one, were not for me. I am not the biggest Chris Pratt fan, the movies were dull, they had problematic storylines and they really phoned it in in the end. Hell, the third "Jurassic World" movie wasn't even really about dinosaurs. They decided to focus on giant mutated mosquitoes, and that was a bad, bad decision on their behalf. So, going into this new "Jurassic Park" movie, "Jurassic World: Rebirth", my expectations were very low.

And the movie delivered on those low expectations.

I told my wife after the movie was over that I actively disliked it. I couldn't find, for me, one thing that I really enjoyed. The story was slapdash and lazily put together. The direction was wonky and felt disengaged. Scarlett Johannson and Mahersela Ali are both way too good of actors to waste their time in a movie like this. It would have been better if they simply focused on Johnathan Bailey's character and just told his story. It's clear that the people behind Bailey are pushing to make him a star, and they should have given him the leeway in this movie to try out his stardom. He is already making a name for himself in "Wicked" and "Bridgerton" and this movie felt like another big shot for him. But he was not the main character, and I kind of think they should have made it all about him. But I also fully get it if you cast Johannson and Ali in a movie like this, they are going to be the leads. This was just another miss by the group making this movie.

As for the dinos, they were hideous and gross. This one, from what I can gather, was all about mutated dinosaurs, and I feel like they took that way, way too far. The D-Rex had what looked like a giant wart on the front of its head. It also had disgusting alien-like teeth that really bummed me out. I've always been a brachiosaurus guy myself, but they found a way to change these majestic creatures and gave them weird fin looking things on their necks. They also had some kind of hybrid pterodactyl-veliocraptor thing that was terrifying to see on the big screen, and not scary in a good way like the raptors in the first movie. They were gross and nasty and mean looking. I also very much dislike when an animal like a dinosaur can read human emotions and act on it. They did that far too many times in this movie. A guy threw a hammer at one, locked eyes with him and chased him down before eating him. The pterodactyl/veliocraptor thing was actively chasing down the humans in the movie. It was a total mess. And the whole family that got stranded at sea storyline was so pointless and added nothing but stress to the story.

I really do not like to sit down and bash stuff that I wish I had the audacity and intelligence to make, but this movie was very, very bad in my opinion. I do not recommend it. It does nothing to help the "Jurassic Park" movie. In fact, I'd say they may have to start all over because this was a total trainwreck. Clearly, I did not care for this movie. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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