Better Late Than Never on "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter"

As I'm sure you can all tell, I've been watching a bunch of movies. I'm in a renaissance of sorts I'd guess you could say. I have always loved movies, I have just rekindled that love I suppose. And lately it has been horror or horror adjacent movies that have struck my fancy. I have always liked when someone does a spoof of classic horror tropes or monster movies. I had the great pleasure of going to The Arkadin recently with my buddy Kirk and we saw one of these spoof horror movies, and I have got to say, it was everything I wanted it to be. The movie was called "Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter".

Some of you may be reading this and thinking it is similar to the movie "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter", which I have also seen. What separates "Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter" from "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter" is the sheer fact that "JCVH" knew it was stupid and silly and goofy and wasn't really trying to do anything else. "ALVH" tried a little too hard. It took itself a little too seriously. It could have been great if it embraced the silliness. It unfortunately went the other way, and that is why I did not enjoy my experience when I saw it, in 3D I might add, in the theaters. But, "JCVH" embraced it all and it was quite fun to watch. I do want to point out, if I had watched "JCVH" on my own in my home I don't think it would have hit as well as it did. I saw it at a cool theater, at a later start time, with a full audience and I was hanging out with the best person to see this movie. All of that, and the delicious snacks, only added to my enjoyment.

"JCVH" is very simplistic in its idea. Jesus Christ is summoned to Canada to stop vampires from turning everyone. But there is so much more to this story. These vampires can be in the daylight with no consequences. Apparently they're targeting lesbians and Jesus is not okay with that, as he should not be okay with that. There are evil surgeons. This movie has full on dance numbers. There's a Mary Magdalene character who goes by the name Mary Magnum, who gets turned into a vampire at one point. There's a shop owner who speaks in a very problematic way and serves no other purpose in the movie than just being a punchline. And, like most movies from the early 2000's, there's a plethora of montage scenes. My favorite was when Jesus got his haircut and then had to fight a massive amount of random people being constantly thrown at him. And while all of this was going on the movie and the movie makers were absolutely in on the joke. They knew exactly what they were doing. They did not take this seriously at all, which is what my friends and I would do if we got enough money to make a movie. The people who made this have got to be friends in real life. I have not heard of a single one of them, and when I researched them after seeing the movie, they have only worked with one another for the majority of their careers. I like that. It makes "JCVH" all the more fun for me.

Throughout the entire movie I could not wipe the smile off my face. I was laughing and laughing. The movie is a little long for a joke, it runs about an hour and twenty minutes. I was ready for it to be over after an hour, but the last twenty minutes did wrap it all up nicely, so at least its got that going for it. And these dance scenes, especially the one after the beach scene, were my favorite part. They were so unnecessary and did nothing for the plot, but I'll be damned if they weren't fun as hell and made me cackle whenever a new one started out of nowhere. This is the type of movie I like to watch most during what may deem "spooky season". I have always enjoyed a good laugh at the expense of movies that are meant to scare you. And "Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter" has shot up to the top of my list to watch from time to time during the month of October.

I would recommend seeking this one out. If you can find it streaming or on physical media, give it a chance. It is a good time and also hilarious. Do yourself a favor and give it a look. It's a fun one. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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