Ty Ranks the 2023 NFL Teams: A Warm RC Cola on a Hot Summer Day Edition

Welcome to day two of my preseason NFL rankings. The teams are getting a bit better, but not much.

At number 28 I have the Indianapolis Colts. The Colts have not had a formidable QB since Andrew Luck shockingly retired a few years back. Jacoby Brissett was the best that they had in that time, and he did lead them to the playoffs, but that is not saying much. I do really like the Anthony Richardson pick. He is big, athletic and has an absolute cannon for an arm. He should definitely start from day one and I believe he will. But he is a rookie QB, and rookie QB's usually start slow. He will have to learn the NFL, but I think he has a bright future ahead. It will need some time to work itself out though. Johnathan Taylor, their best offensive player, has requested a trade and has been sent home from minicamp. That is never good. They need him if they want any chance at the playoffs. I have not heard of any of their receivers or their tight end. Whatever happened to TY Hilton also? Who will be Richardson's top target? These are things that need to be figured out soon, but I don't think it will be soon enough. The o line has some dudes, and they have been good at run blocking. But with Taylor wanting out, who besides Richardson is going to be the benefactor of this line's blocking? That is a mystery as well. The defense is full of unknown guys. I loved Kwity Paye when he was at Michigan, but he is coming off injury. Deforest Buckner had a moment, but that feels like such a long time ago. I have not heard of a single guy in their secondary. That seems to be a running theme for me with the Colts, and I bet a bunch of other people would agree. I love the Richardson pick, and think it will pan out in the future, but that will not lead to many wins this season. They need time.

At number 27 I have the Chicago Bears. It feels like the Bears are a year or two away from being in my top 10 though. I think Justin Fields is awesome. He can run and sling it. He needs to throw more, but that will come as he plays more and more. But the dude is their guy and they need to keep him around. Running back is iffy here, but with Fields they get the best of both worlds. I love the DJ Moore pick up, and it has looked good in the preseason. Chase Claypool, when healthy, is a solid wideout. Cole Kmet is a decent tight end. The o line is good enough. The offense is in good hands. What hurts the Bears is their defense. They cannot stop anyone. They give up big plays and the offense has to perennially play from behind. They have some names, like Yannick Ngakoue and Tremaine Edmunds, but they feel far past their prime. Jaylon Johnson can be a solid corner, but he needs work. They don't have the players to stop teams. They are the opposite of the Buccaneers. They will score, but they will not stop anyone. Once they shore the d up, watch out though.

At number 27 I have the Atlanta Falcons. I am lower on them than other writers I have seen. I do not have the most faith in Desmond Ridder. He has won everywhere he has played, but that was due to the defense and some playmakers around him. A lot of people are super high on Bijan Robinson, and while I think he will be good, I do not think he is going to be the world beater that some expect. Once teams start to gameplan for him it will be tough. He is going to be facing a ton of eight man fronts, and he is not built like Saquon Barkley yet. I do not think he is ready to handle that type of load as a rookie. Kyle Pitts keeps getting pumped up, but this seems to happen every year since he was drafted, and maybe he is who he will be for his career. Drake London is a fine receiver, but I don't think he strikes fear in opposing secondaries. And the o line is very blah. The defense is very blah as well. Calais Campbell has not been a backfield wrecker for a while now. Bud Dupree, who I loved coming out of college, has not figured it out. Jeff Okudah was told to not let the door hit him on his way out of Detroit. Grady Jarrett doesn't jump off the page for me. The defense doesn't strike me as being very good. Their best feature is the division, and Robinson. But I think they will have a tougher time trying to win enough games to make a playoff push.

My final team for the day, at LA Rams. They were my number one team last year. They have truly fallen off. Matt Stafford is back. Who cares? He seems to have phoned it in after winning a ring. I don't know who the running back is going to be. ESPN's website has Cam Akers, but I thought he was on the Raiders. Cooper Kupp seems like a Wes Welker type, but with less success. And I have no clue who Van Jefferson or Ben Skoworonek are. Tyler Higbee gets hurt far too often. And the o line is old and getting older. The defense, outside of Aaron Donald, is full of unknowns. I truly could not tell you one thing about the names of the starters I see on ESPN. This team had Von Miller a few years back. They had one of the best linebacking corps in the league. Jalen Ramsey patrolled their secondary. All those guys are gone and replaced by players like Christian Rozeboom, Ernest Jones, Jordan Fuller and Russ Yeast. Who even are those guys? Jordan Fuller is the only name that sounds vaguely familiar. The Rams are not great, but at least they got their ring I guess. But right now, going into 2023, they are not very good.

That does it for day two. Come back for day three tomorrow. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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