We Did Not Need A New "White Man Can't Jump"

Last week I was scrolling through Hulu and saw that the new "White Men Can't Jump" movie was streaming. I decided to watch.

First off, I love the original movie. I have been a fan since I was a kid. I saw it when I was 13 or 14 and have revisited it multiple times a year since then. Woody Harrellson and Wesley Snipes have tremendous chemistry, the story is good enough and the basketball in the movie was real looking and kept my attention. The whole idea that Harrellson couldn't dunk paid off in the end when he finally did. I also liked the double crossing coming from both Snipes and Harrellson. Rosie Perez was amazing in the movie as well. And the other actors who showed up during the pickup games, some former college and professional basketball players, did a wonderful job. The original worked its charm on me and it has never left.

The new one or remake or re imagining or whatever it is, is not very good. At all. I didn't think it was going to be good, but I thought it would be fun. Hell, I hoped it would even give me some kind of nostalgia vibes. None of that happened. This new version was very scattered and not well acted. The only actor I appreciated was Lance Reddick, but he was almost a total ripoff of Denzel Washing in "He Got Game", but was more timid. He also didn’t have a bunch of screen time as well. It bums me out that this was one of his last movies. The leads were not 1/10 on the level of Harrellson or Snipes. Jack Harlow was not very good at all. He was trying, I will give him that, but he doesn't seem to have it as an actor. He happened to be on an episode of "Dave" that I watched the day before, playing himself, and he could barely even pull that off. To make him a former Gonzaga player who was into holistic medicine and a vegan was puzzling. Harrellson was a gambling addict who was a former pro overseas. They never mentioned his food intake or what he was selling. He was all about basketball and Rosie Perez. Harlow did not come close to pulling off what Harrellson did. Oh, and they never mention the fact that he cannot dunk. He just all of the sudden dunks during a tournament they are playing in, and I guess that is supposed to be an homage or something. It fell totally flat for me. Sinqua Walls, in the Snipes role, was kind of dull. He didn’t really do much. His basketball ability was nowhere near Snipes. And I know they did stuff to help Snipes, but at least he tried and succeeded. Walls just kind of sleep walked throughout the movie. He never really got to show range, and when they gave him a chance, it was not great. He was supposed to be some superstar high school player, but none of that helped the story. Also, Snipes was no high school star or anything. He was a streetball legend. That was his deal. He also happened to be a salesman, but basketball was the intrigue. Everyone else in this movie was the opposite of the outside characters in the original.

This new "White Men Can't Jump" lacked all of the charm of the original. The new movie was not very fun, funny or cool to watch. I found myself bored and kind of gazing off in the distance. I didn't really care to see what happened. I didn't like the new direction. I didn't buy the two leads. It was a miss for me, and due to my love for the original, that bummed me out. You can skip this movie. You will not miss a thing. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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