This week I'm going to talk specifically about shows on the TLC network. I have no bones about the amount of shows I watch on this network. I have also talked about some shows they put on that look disgusting. I have pleaded to anyone that will listen to me how they definitely need to change the name of the channel because the only thing I have "learned" from the learning channel is that anyone, and I mean anyone, can be on a reality show.
That leads me to what I want to touch on today. I love the show, and all its iterations, "90 Day Fiance". TLC has also learned that this is their biggest cash cow, and they have started to show the show in 2 and 3 hour blocks, and they even have 2 different versions on Sunday and Monday. TLC knows that this is their "hit" show, and they are milking it, as they should.
Last night was the "Tell All" for the most recent season of "90 Day Fiance: Happily ever After?", love the question mark in the title by the way, and it was mesmerizing. I know that this is vapid and stupid and content for the sake of content, but I was very intrigued by what I watched with my wife last night. I need to say too, the last hour of the 2 hour show was the "Tell All". The first hour was dedicated to one of the worst, which means they were one of the most fun to watch, couples on this recent season.
The couple in question are Colt and Larissa. Colt is clearly in love, like for real, with his mom, and Larissa has been in the US for 7 months and has been arrested for domestic assault 3 times. It is a real train wreck, and I literally cannot look away. I loathe these 2 people, but they make for great reality television. All the stuff that went on, from the trail, to Colt's mom telling him how awful his ex wife is, to Larissa living with a new friend, getting a new boyfriend and being asked to stay home for the trial because of ICE, it was all tremendous TV. It is like a drug that I know the effects will wear off soon, but right now, I am hooked. The Colt and Larissa special was wonderful and disturbing and weird and everything I hoped for. My wife and I judged everyone, and isn't that what reality TV nowadays is all about? It was great.
Then the "Tell All" came on, and let me tell you, it was something else. The yelling and fighting and stupidity and lying and ignorance was at an all time high. Some of the couples, mainly Pao and Russ and Andrei and Elizabeth, fans of the show will know who I am talking about, didn't really have to be there. But, the stuff between Jay and Ashley was great. Jay is a 20 year old from Jamaica that has cheated on his wife Ashley 2 times that we know of. He is a scumbag, but she is an idiot. She took this dude back twice after he did this stuff, and I am supposed to feel sorry for her? Get the hell out of here. Colt was there by himself, because he will be alone forever, and he just berated and yelled at everyone. He is a sad, sad, sad man. Larissa didn't even want to be in the same room as him, so she didn't go to the "Tell All", opting to call in via Skype. Nicole was really unnecessary last night, but I feel like something big is going to happen between her and Azan next week.
The cream of the crop that was this train wreck was Pedro and Chantel. It has been widely shown that the 2 families do not get along. They despise each other so much, TLC is doing a spinoff show about that which premieres tonight. Don't worry, my review will be up tomorrow. But the way these 2 interact with one another is toxic. It is really, really bad. Pedro always "jokes" about leaving Chantel, and Chantel is so god damn condescending. It is wild. When Chantel's parents came on, that was when it went from a 10 to an 11. Pedro kept leaving the stage, and then coming back to yell at her mom and dad. The mom and dad are as condescending as Chantel is towards Pedro. It was crazy lit, the way they yelled over one another and fought last night. My wife and I both watched, first in laughter, then in horror and then in sadness for how messed up they all are.
This 2 hour block was a total homerun last night. I say again, I know I shouldn't watch this stuff, but I am hooked, and I don't feel that bad about it. Reality TV is supposed to be like this, and TLC has really found a groove with the whole "90 Day" stuff. My dad hat is off to them.
Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Was he describing an episode of “The Jerry Springer Show”? That is what the head editor thinks Ty was describing.
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