Ty Ranks the 2017 NFL Teams: The "Phantom Menance" Edition

Continuing my 2017 NFL countdown I have my next 4 teams. These teams still are pretty awful, but not as bad as the teams I did yesterday. Lets get to it.

Coming in at number 28 I have the Los Angeles Rams. I accidentally almost wrote Saint Louis. I am still a little annoyed that Kroenke moved the team. Regardless, this team is still pretty awful. What they do have is a great defense, especially if they can get Aaron Donald to end his holdout.(they need to pay the man) They have a very good pass rush and D-Line. Their secondary, while young, can make plays here and there. And their linebackers, they are just fine. The defense is good enough to keep this team in, if they are stout enough, 6 games. They will most definitely play Seattle tough, they always do. What holds this team back is their atrocious offense. They have a great, otherworldly running back in Todd Gurley. But, he has no O-Line to open holes for him. The receiving corps, even with the addition of Sammy Watkins, is truly bad. Maybe second only to the Jets as the worst in the league. And their QB, Jared Goff, is a bust. I am already saying it. I know they have said that he has been "lights out" in camp, but everyone has, with the exception of Christian Hackenberg. Goff is not a good QB. He isn't even a starting QB in my opinion. The Rams have a new head coach too. He is younger than me. He is supposed to be some QB guru, but I don't think anyone can work with Goff. Unfortunately, at least for the Rams defense, this team will continue to be a 4 or 5 win team. Todd Gurley deserves better than this.

At number 27 I have the Jacksonville Jaguars. Again, this team has a something that looks like a real NFL defense. They have made some big free agent signings, and I really like Jalen Ramsey as their top corner, but they need a better D-Line and some accountable linebackers. They can be great, but right now, they are average. This is another team where the problem lies with the offense. They have good receivers. Allen Robinson is good. Allen Hurns is good. Hell, Dede Westbrook may even be able to contribute right away. They took my favorite player in the draft, Leonard Fournette, but he is already injured. Hopefully they play it safe with him. But, they do have Chris Ivory, who stunk last year, but I think that has to do with a mediocre line. He could have a bounce back year. They also still have TJ Yeldon too. They have some backs. The problem here is with Blake Bortles. He is bad. I mean, real bad. He is the worst garbage time QB I have ever watched. He doesn't win games for this team, but he sure as hell loses them. Bortles is done, toast, finito. They need to get rid of him. I know their backup is Chad Henne, but at least he has been on decent teams before. Blake Bortles is the second worst starter in the entire NFL, behind only Hackenberg, and he will continue to hold this team back from winning anything of importance.

At number 26 I have the Miami Dolphins. Some may see that and think that is way too far down for this team. They were in the playoffs last year. They have a good run game, good D-Line and some good receivers. Why are they so low on your list? Well, one name, Jay Cutler. The Dolphins would have been in the early teens on my list if Ryan Tannehill didn't get hurt. He did, and instead of reaching out to Tony Romo or giving Colin Kaepernick his much due contract, they went out and signed Jay god damn Cutler. I hope Miami fans like to watch a guy that will throw crushing pick sixes, then walk to the sideline like he did nothing wrong. I hope they like watching a guy that will quit on them the moment he gets one knick or bruise or hit. I hope they enjoy watching a guy that doesn't even want to be there. He is going to be a nightmare. He is going to waste a year of Jarvis Landry, Kenny Stills and DeVante Parker. He is going to waste a year of Jay Ajayi and Kenyan Drake. He is going to yell at, and waste a year of a pretty decent O-Line. And Jay god damn Cutler is going to waste a defense with guys like Ndamukong Suh, Cameron Wake, Kiko Alonso and Michael Thomas because he just doesn't give a damn. The Dolphins should have stuck with Matt Moore, as I wrote awhile back, but no, they signed Jay Cutler. What a waste. That is the best word I can use to describe this upcoming year for the Dolphins, waste.

My final team for today, coming in at number 25, I have the Buffalo Bills. This is the same team that just traded their best receiver, and I know that Watkins gets hurt a lot, but he was their best outside threat. This team is also over using LeSean McCoy. They make him carry and catch the ball way too much, and it is catching up with him. As much as I might like Tyrod Taylor, he just isn't a viable starter in the NFL. He tucks and runs too much. He is a tremendous athlete, but he needs to throw more. Their O-Line is good, but I actively root against them because they signed Richie Incognito, and that guy is the worst. I despise him and everything he stands for. And now that they traded Watkins, they do not have any wide receiver threats. Do guys like Charles Clay, Andre Holmes, Zay Jones(he's a rookie) and Rashard Ross really strike fear into any opposing secondary? No way. Besides McCoy, none of the backup running backs are any good. But, the Bills do have a pretty stout defense. Marcell Dareus as been as good as advertised. Shaq Lawson is coming along fine. Reggie Ragland is a good linebacker. They did lose Stephon Gilmore, and while Micah Hyde may not be as good as Gilmore is, it helps cushion the blow a bit. The Bills do have a defense that will not only keep them in games, but could even win them a game or 2. Still, the Bills will lucky to win 6 games this year. Their offense is so far behind. As I said with Gurley, I will say with McCoy, he deserves better.

That is it for today. Come back tomorrow for my next 4 teams.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He will be happy once we get past the teams that are only watchable on the Red Zone channel. Just  few more days.

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