A Remembrance of Things Ed Hardy, Frosted Tips, and the Height of Reality Dating Shows

My wife and I have gone back and watched some of the older dating shows we devoured when we were first dating. Let’s discuss.

We started off with "Daisy of Love". That show was horrible, but endlessly watchable for the two of us. I found myself transporting back in time on this rewatch. We have also gone back and watched "Rock of Love" and "Flavor of Love". Those shows are a little better than "Daisy of Love", but they are still pretty awful. Bret Michaels had a moment in rock music. He was part of the whole hair band that played their version of metal music. Flavor Flav is the hype man for one of the greatest hip hop groups of all time, Public Enemy. Flav was part of something important. Public Enemy is a major group. They're all timers. And while Chuck D has continued his fight against injustice, Flav decided he needed to go on a VH1 dating show, and eventually do some programs with Brigette Nielsen. Oh well. We have just started to watch "I Love Money", which features contestants from the majority of the dating shows that appeared in VH1. "I Love Money" is just as bad as "Daisy of Love". The contestants on the show are dumb and make horrendous decisions over and over again. I also think it's hilarious that they seem to think they invented alliances on game shows. The show is a total mess, but I cannot stop watching.

That's what leads me to my topic of the day. I don't necessarily miss these shows, and I'm stoked they have never tried to revamp any of them, but these shows captured a certain moment in time. These shows were on in the early-ish 2010's, and even though it doesn't seem that long ago, rewatching these shows have brought back so many memories. The amount of Ed Hardy on these shows is wild. I forgot how ugly and ridiculous those clothes were/are, but the people on these shows were wearing it in droves. You can't look at the screen for more than a second before you see a big tiger and that diamond encrusted Ed Hardy logo. It is hideous. There's frosted tips as far as the eye can see. Every single dude seemed to have frosted tips back then. They would put way too much gel in their hair, spike their hair and then you'd see the off color top of their head. It was a look. I never had it, but I know plenty of people who did. I do not think it looks good, but damned if a bunch of people on VH1 dating shows weren't rocking that look. The amount of muscle dudes was wild too. I get it that sometimes muscles can look nice, but when you overdo it, it looks very, very bad. It is clear a ton of these dudes were on steroids, and it is so easy to pick them out of the lineup. We also had far too many dudes with cauliflower ears. I know that MMA and other kinds of fighting were popular at the time, but damn, clean yourself up better after each fight. The ears looked so horrific and filled with bacteria.

The thing I have noticed the most is all the contestants just angling for their own show. This was before being on the internet was all you needed to be famous, so these people were pulling out all the stops. These shows are supposed to be "reality" shows, but everyone plays a part and has a character. There's always the mean one, the nerdy one, the athlete and so on and so forth. There's not one single person that is genuinely being themself. This is the height of really bad, really scripted reality tv. And yet I cannot pull myself away.

I will continue to watch and I will continue to judge. I'm just happy that the streaming devices of today give me the option to watch again. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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Tracking the Decline of Mankind: "I Love Money" Edition

We are back watching trash

Another day, another old school reality show that I love to talk about. So, after finishing up all of "Flavor of Love" this past weekend, my wife and I were looking for another VH1 "celebreality" show to watch. We decided to pick "I Love Money".

Now, this was more so my pick because I used to LOVE this show. What I love so much about "I Love Money" is how little it takes itself seriously. I mean for starters, the show is called "I Love Money". The contestants are there simply to win 250,000 dollars. Isn't that what being on reality TV is all about? These people want fame and fortune. "I Love Money" is not guaranteeing them fame, but it is giving them a small fortune. I mean, 250k is not a whole lot, but it is nothing to sniff at. That is a quarter of a million dollars. And, when you take away taxes and what not, the winner still took home well over 6 figures. I would gladly take that amount of money any day.

As far as the contestants, they are all former cast members of one of the many "celebreality" shows that VH1 used to offer. We have people from "Flavor of Love", "Rock of Love", "I Love New York", and so on and so forth. It is a real mishmash of the trashy people that peppered these old reality dating shows. And, they have not changed their ways at all. They are all conniving, backstabbing, plotting and forming and breaking alliances. It is truly wonderful, in all of its trashiness. I was saying to my wife the other night while watching that these contestants clearly watched stuff like "Survivor", and really tried to roll with the whole alliance thing. The problem with that, these people are not as smart as some of the former "Survivor" contestants. Also, the "Survivor" contestants were fighting for things like food, a comfy bed and other comforts that we take for advantage. The people on "I Love Money" are fighting for nothing more than a chance to win cash. That is why I like this show more than "Survivor". There are no real stakes at all.

The challenges on this show are hilarious. They take "famous" moments from the past reality shows and make them do some asinine, over the top, stupid ass challenge. For example, one time on "Flavor of Love" season one, a contestant tried to cook an entire chicken in the microwave for Flav's mom. Of course this went horribly. Well, in "I Love Money", they make the contestants fling chickens that were cooked in the microwave over an obstacle, and a group of people have to try and catch them in a net. See, really stupid. Another challenge they have, on the one and only season of "I Love New York", a little person, who they called Midget Mac(again, these shows were so offensive and horrific), couldn't swim and his floaty he had on a river popped and he almost drowned. He was okay though, don't worry. So, on "I Love Money", they make the contestants swim in a river, grab a mannequin that is supposed to look like Mac, save him, put him on a stretcher and pull it to shore. Again, so stupid.

Watching all of this take place has, much like "Flavor of Love", taken me back to a time when these shows were must see TV for me.  I have to say, we are currently on episode 7 of season one of "I Love Money", I am so glad that this was the choice we went with for the second round of "celebreality" shows. It has only reaffirmed how much I truly enjoyed this show over the other ones. Don't get me wrong, I like the dating shows, along with all the silliness. But, "I Love Money" is a whole other level of trash and crassness and craziness and stupidity. It is an amazing show. Much like I said last week while talking about "Flavor of Love", if you have that itch to watch these older reality shows that VH1 used to thrive on, revisit "I Love Money" first. You will instantly remember all the contestants, even if you choose to not watch the other shows beforehand, and you will be so happy that this was the one you went with first.

"I Love Money" is amazing, and you can thank me later after you watch it, and realize that I was not messing around.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. What will Ty watch next? My vote is for "Next".

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We Revisit "Flavor of Love" to Understand When Mankind Fell into Ruin

The End of Civilization started with Pumpkin and New York

Recently my wife texted me to tell me that she wanted to revisit a dating show that we used to watch on VH1. I started to rack my brain trying to figure out which one she wanted to watch. Now, for some that don't remember, VH1 used to show videos, then, after that, all they showed were various dating shows featuring former music stars, then people that were on those people's shows.

After trying to guess, and not be able to get it right, she told me she wanted to watch "Flavor of Love". I was so stoked by this news. Of all the dating shows we watched before we had kids, "Flavor of Love" was, by far, the best and most trashy, which is why everyone watches reality TV. This show used to crack me up, and the very next day, I searched all of our TV channels and our streaming services, and I finally found full episodes on YouTube. I texted my wife a video of the opening of the first season, and she texted back very excited.

That night we started to watch the first season of "Flavor of Love", and all the great, funny, disgusting and ridiculous stuff came flooding back. This show has the nastiest, loudest and wildest contestants to ever appear on a game show. I swear, the people on the show forget that they are on national TV. They say some of the wildest, and dumbest shit in the world. It is crazy. Another thing that came back was all the crazy ass challenges they had to do to "win" a date with Flavor Flav. It is truly insane. They have had to do stuff like, create and run a "restaurant" within Flav's mansion, set up a hot tub park with something that explains their situation, they do a roast of the other girls, they meet the families, which always turns into some crazy as drama, especially with Sister Patterson(look her up), the list could go on and on. It is wild.

But, the thing I kept coming back to that was truly astonishing, these girls are all competing to be Flavor Flav's girlfriend! What the hell! For those of you who may not know who he is, he is the world's greatest hype man. He was one of the founding members of one of, if not the, best rap groups ever, Public Enemy. He had a very fruitful music career, and with that, he decided he needed to do a dating show on VH1! I say again, What the hell! No wonder Chuck D really doesn't want anything to do with him anymore.

What is really upsetting about the show and Flavor Flav is how shallow he, and the contestants, can be. Now, I am not the world's most attractive man, but Flavor Flav makes me look like Idris Elba or Ryan Gosling. I mean, he is tiny, he has a real wiry frame, he is loud and he is mean. He is ugly on both the outside and the inside. He is judging these girls on their looks, and my wife and I both see him and think, who is he to judge. I have respect for what he did as a member of Public Enemy, but this show really soured me on him as a person. He is also super weird about touching his face, and the spelling of his rap name. He has some of the wildest quirks that I have ever seen. Whenever someone touches his face, he loses his god damn mind. You'd think they were going to slap him. Then, if you misspell his name, be prepared to be taken down a couple notches. He gets so mad, and it is such a small thing to get that angry about.

All that is bad, but the worst thing of all is the way he treats these ladies. He is always telling them to "crowd around your man", and almost forcing them to kiss him, and calling out their breath or their looks or their appearance. Every time he dos this, I yell at the screen, yo, look in the mirror my dude.

Even with all this garbage, that is not enough to keep me from continuing to revisit this show. No matter how awful Flav is, or hot ridiculous the challenge, the nicknames or anything else that goes on this show, I still am excited to watch it again. As I write this, I am watching episode 7 of the third and final season with my wife because she has the day off work. It is truly the best trashy reality show out there. Hell, it might be the best trash reality show that has ever existed. It is just so wild and crazy and stupid and fun. My wife and I have been so into the show, we have decided that, after we finish up all of "Flavor of Love", we are going to watch all the other VH1 reality shows that we used to watch regularly.

Seriously people, if you want to see how crazy reality dating shows used to be just as short as 7 or 8 years ago, go watch some "Flavor of Love". I feel like you might be offended at first, but then you will get sucked in to how nuts and bizarre and goofy it all is. I'm so glad that this show is back in my life. It is a nice escape for 40 minutes to watch this utter nonsense. I love it so much.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. He forgot to mention that Flav is also in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. No Sonic Youth, The Smiths, or Cyndi Lauper, but Flav is there. 

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