Nightmares in Home Cleaning

Being the at home parent means I do most of the household chores. I understood this was a part of my newfound duties once my wife and I decided I would be the parent to stay home after my son was born. To be honest I was doing this all along. I come from a very neat and tidy, some might say OCD, I'm that some, family. My mom was always cleaning the house, my dad would clean the kitchen and grill and me and my brothers had plenty of chores to do when growing up. I'm not saying my wife is messy, but she is an only child and her folks did the cleaning. She keeps things pretty clean around the house too, but it was just a given and I have been cleaning up ever since we moved in together. I do not like to control many things, but cleaning the house is my domain. It is my time to shine.

About two to three times a month I do what I consider a deep cleaning of the house. I dust, sweep, mop, clean all the bathrooms, vacuum, clean the sheets, make my kids clean their rooms and give the whole house a thorough run through. Yesterday I did one of the deep cleanings, the first of August in fact. My son was with his grandmother, my daughter was in her room for her quiet time and my wife was at the office. This gives me two full hours to get all this done. I usually use up the full time limit. I like the feeling of having a nice clean house even if we do not have many guests nowadays due to COVID. We do still have our folks over, so it is a way for me to show off for them I suppose. Everything was going as planned, I was on schedule and then I went to clean up the kids bathroom. Now that we did the addition my wife and I enjoy our new room which has its own bathroom and shower. We have our own personal space to go to the restroom and to clean up. The kids bathroom used to be all of our bathroom before we added on. All four of us would use that room to do what we needed to do. Now it is for the kids.

Here is where my story gets scary. When I went in there to clean up yesterday I thought I was going to vomit everywhere. Again, I try my damndest to keep a tidy house, but things sometimes get pushed to the backburner for a week or so. I usually do spot clean ups, but I missed a few here and there and I paid the price yesterday. Their bathroom was an absolute nightmare. There was soap scum everywhere in the shower. The shampoo bottles were open and dripping. The foaming soap was open and on its side, also dripping. The bathroom mirror was smudged to hell. There was toothpaste all over the inside and outside of the bathroom sink. And the toilet seat was the absolute worst. I grew up with three older brothers so I know how gross toilet seats can be, but this was on a whole other level. The stench of urine filled the room. It was blasted all over the top and bottom of the seat. It was on the underneath side. The bowl was grimy and gross. I know you may be reading this and thinking how disgusting this is, imagine having to clean it. I went in there and scrubbed the hell out of their bathroom. I also had a very long talk with them about hygiene and keeping rooms like a bathroom clean. I told my wife about all of this and she said her stomach was doing flips because of how gross it sounded. I do not know how my mom and dad did it. I'm pretty sure my mom did the cleaning of the bathrooms, and if my brothers and I ever dirtied up a bathroom this badly, I sincerely apologize. I cannot imagine how she dealt with the filth. I know my daughter was the one who messed up the mirrors and showers, but the toilet was on my son. He knows better. I have heard him going to the bathroom and just thinking he was splashing everywhere. Now I am certain he was. This was such a mess.

The lesson? Now I know I have to keep doing my spot clean ups. I have to stay on it or else this could happen many more times. I love my kids more than anything in the world, but what they did to that bathroom was unacceptable. I bet it will not happen again. Or maybe I hope so.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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