Madison Wisconsin Owes Me an IPhone

I do not feel Welcome in the state capital

I do not feel Welcome in the state capital

My family and I are just returning from a week long trip where we visited the Upper Pennisula of Michigan. It was great. I have written about the wonders of the UP on the site before. That’s also why I didn’t write for a week. I was on vacation.

Well, I'm Back.

On the trip we did make a few over night stops. We have 2 kids, so it’s hard to go the full 10 hours in one day. We did it last year when we visited Gulf Shores, and while it went better than I expected, by hour 10, we were all a bit stir crazy. So, on the way up we stopped in Madison, Wisconsin, and on the way back we stayed at Great Wolf Lodge in the Wisconsin Dells.

Great Wolf was awesome as always. This is one of our favorite places to go as a family. The water park rules, my son can kind of have free rein, my daughter loves the wave pool, my wife loves the slides and lazy river, and I love just about everything about it, but mostly, the snack area. There is so much to do there, and I recommend checking it out if you haven’t.

As far as Madison though, I have a newfound distaste for a town I used to love. Madison is pretty much the halfway point from my home to the UP. It used to be the fect spot to stop for the night. I like college towns, there’s cool restaurants, cool shops and it’s fairly easy to navigate. It was also my idea for us to stay the night there on the way to the UP. I was even more excited when I heard that my oldest brother and his family would be there the same night as us. We decided we would all meet for dinner. And the hotel was great too. There was an indoor water park perfect for our kids and it was right by the highway for easy access to get back on the road to our destination.

We got there last week, got checked in and hit the water park. Everything was going as planned. We finished up at the park, got back to our room, cleaned up and went to meet my brother’s family for dinner. I brought my phone to navigate, but it wasn’t fully charged. So, I plugged it in the car dock and led us to the restaurant. We got to a parking garage, parked the car and headed to the restaurant. I left my phone in the car, the doors were locked and we were in a garage, what could go wrong I thought. We then had dinner, which was great, shouts out to Dotty’s Dumpling in Madison. We then said our goodbyes, said we’d meet up at the house we were staying in the next day, and we headed back to the car.

When we got to the car, I didn’t see my phone. I thought it was weird, but not all that out of the ordinary. Sometimes my wife puts electronics in her glove box or center console. Sometimes I put it in my diaper bag. Sometimes I leave it in my pocket and forget about it. Sometimes it slides under the seats. Really, it could have been any of these things.

After checking all of those, then double checking, we realized that it had been stolen. I was furious. It was made even worse when the parking attendant let us know that the cameras only go up 2 floors. We were on the third. I got even angrier when the other workers, at the pay area, seemed annoyed that we were asking questions. They just told us to fill out a police report, basically telling us it was our fault that our property was stolen.

I went back to the room., pissed off to no end My anger then turned to fear. I wondered what this person, or people, were doing with my phone. What would they do with my info, contacts, pictures, anything on my phone? Lucky for me, my wife is not as hot headed as I am. She told me to take the kids to the room, get them ready for bed, and she would take care of this. She knew I would fly off the handles if I called Verizon and the police.

So, after getting everything ready, and putting the kids to bed, I had cooled off. My wife then showed up to the room, told me she had everything deactivated and showed me a text she sent to whoever took the phone. It was perfect. She also informed me that I would be receiving a new one in a few days in Michigan. I finally was able to relax. I wasn’t going to let this ruin my vacation. I was still pissed off, but everything that could be done was taken care of.

The moral of the story? When it comes to Madison, I’m done. I don’t feel safe there anymore. It’s not worth my time and anxiety to stay there. I don’t like it anymore. Even when we drove by the exit I said, “Screw you Madison”. All the good will that had been built up was gone after one night. One more thing too. The next morning when we got in the car and headed to the UP, my wife and I went to grab our sunglasses. Those were taken as well. They took my wife’s 10 dollar Target glasses, and my prescription sunglasses. What the hell?!

Screw the person or people that stole our things, and screw you too Madison. I’m done with your town, and for now on, when someone asks me about Madison, I’ll have nothing but bad things to say. I’m so disappointed. 

One more thing. Wisconsin football sucks.


Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. The next time someone in Madison sees a car with Missouri plates, and two middle fingers high in the air, Ty is on his way to the UP.

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