Join Ty while he checks paternity tests with "Maury Povich"

 You are NOT the father. Now who is a good boy.

You are NOT the father. Now who is a good boy.

Sometimes the worst television can be the best entertainment.

With my wife on maternity leave, I've been watching some day time television with her that she normally doesn't get to watch since she doesn't get home from work until 4pm. I don't usually watch any day time TV, my son and I are usually out doing stuff, and my newly born daughter will be joining us on these excursions when my wife goes back to work. But, my wife has two months left on her leave, so day time TV will be a staple. One of the shows that she loves is "Maury Povich".

First things first, this show is utterly ridiculous and totally fake. These people know exactly what they're doing on this show, and if they have any questions as to how to act, producers and the behind the scenes crew gives them direction. This, I'm sure of. But, I've grown to not only enjoy "Mo Po", as we call it, but I look forward to watching it everyday at 3pm Saint Louis, Missouri time. It's like a train wreck. It's terrible, just down right awful, but I cannot look away. I love how bizarre and insane and just plain wacky this show is. Nine times out of ten, it's a DNA test to find out who is the father of some infant, or it's a lie detector test to find out if someone is cheating on someone else. In the rare case, we get both of these in one episode. Man, this is exciting when you know, not only is a DNA test coming, but there's a lie detector test as well. Sometimes, very rarely, they do a "where are they now", or a "boot camp" episode and we do not tune in for these, but that barely ever happens as I've already said. "Maury Povich" is the epitome of bad reality television. Like I said, it's completely fabricated, but that doesn't make it any less hilarious.

Now, it is bad, but it's watchable bad. It's a better version of "Sharknado". Readers know how I feel about "Sharknado". "Mo Po" is enjoyable. It's dysfunctional and stupid and a total mess, but I've grown to love it over the past couple of weeks. And Maury Povich seems to have taken this lot in life and run with it. He was, at one time, a true journalist with a moral compass. Go look at some of his older versions of his show, most of the time the topics were legit topics. He was a real journalist tackling real subjects. He was good at it too. He met and married Connie Chung and they're still married to this day. They were both reputable journalist and TV personalities and one day, that all changed. Connie Chung is off TV now, to the best of my knowledge, and look no further for her "breakdown" to the moment she was singing on top of a piano and "dancing". It's a hard watch, but it's also pretty god damn hilarious. And Maury's case, I think one day, when he was reputable, he thought that it would be a good idea to have a lady or ladies on that may not have known who the father of their child was. Sure, at the time, the mid 90's I believe, this was a good and groundbreaking idea. It would give these ladies closure and these fatherless children would at least know who their dad was as they grew up. Then, one day, the DNA test results came back negative and the man on the set was not the father. Holy shit was this a huge deal! The crowd went nuts. People on the stage were either crying, cheering, dancing or doing all three at once. This was the moment when Maury just ran with it, in my opinion. I think, since he's a pretty smart person, he saw an opportunity and he figured, okay , this is what I am now. He decided that he would do only DNA test result shows at first. These gained a lot of steam, but after awhile, they became stale and predictable. That's when he introduced the lie detector tests and the decoys. Boom! A total new thing for his talk show was born and it's been like this ever since. As I said before, it's either a DNA test or a lie detector test, or both, Monday through Friday on "Mo Po", and I love it. These are always met with the same response. The people on stage are always yelling and talking over each other, someone inevitably calls Maury 'Murray" and the tests results always deliver both good and bad news. Sometimes, when the man isn't the father, the guy starts doing a dance and the lady runs off the set screaming and crying. These are my favorite moments. They're hysterical. When the guy is the father, or he's lied during the lie detector test, or he's caught hitting on a decoy, the reaction is always the same. The guy claims he was set up, or that the lie detector was wrong, or he will take care of the child, but he wants nothing to do with the baby's mom. And their reaction to this news is always hilarious. You can tell the guys who know they're going to get caught because they always have a coy smile when the lady is talking about them cheating or not taking care of their baby. During all this, Maury just sits back, let's the fight build to a boil, and just when it's about to get physical, he gets the results folder and they get down to business, it's fantastic.

The real reason for this post today is not only to give love to "Maury Povich" the TV show, but to let everyone know that I will be live tweeting today's episode from the seedsing account. So, read this article and at 3pm Saint Louis time, check in with @seedsingrdk to see my tweets. My wife will be watching with me, of course, and she will chime in with her thoughts too. Join us for the hilarity.

See you all later today.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man podcast. He does not feel the need to go on Murray's show to get DNA results for his kids, at least not yet. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.