Coping with the Unreality of Reality Television

I've talked about reality shows a lot on this website. I also watch, or watched, a good amount of reality shows. I still check in from time to time on reality shows my wife watches on the weekends. But I have been putting more thought into them lately, probably more than the creators, I kid. But I have been trying to suss things out about some of the shows that I watch and have watched.

As I get older I am getting a bit cynical about these "reality" shows. They don't really live up to the hype anymore. They are retreads. They are rip off shows. And they are horrible for the television industry because they put a ton of people out of work. This has been on my mind a lot lately. I find myself even thinking about these shows when they are not on. I don't know what that says about me, but here we are.

I think my biggest issue as of late is the fact that these shows are not actual, true "reality" shows. There is nothing real about them at all. If they were factual, if they were real, they would be tiring and very boring. Think about your everyday life. How boring is it really? I know that if I were to be filmed for a reality show, and if they stuck to actual reality, it would be a total snooze fest. The cameras would see me go through my routine. I get my kids ready for school in the morning. I run errands or have coffee with my dad and friends. I come home and do chores around the house. I go for a run. And then the night is filled with taking kids to sports, having dinner and going to bed. Pretty tiresome huh? That is how I know these reality shows are actually real. Real life is boring. But if you do a few takes of a conversation, add alcohol and try to start a conflict, that is a recipe for intriguing "reality" shows. I have read that these reality shows have copious amounts of alcohol just laying around. I feel like the producers of the shows think that if there is alcohol around, and most of the people enjoy alcohol, they will loosen up and let it fly a bit. That is why there is rarely ever a person on a reality show that has chosen to not drink. I would never be in a reality show because I choose to not partake in alcohol. I would, as I am prone to say in this piece, be very boring.

Take a show like "Love is Blind". My wife is very much into this show and I will sit down with her and watch or listen in the background while I am doing something around the house. This is the fakest "reality" show on tv. They go so far as to have everyone drink from the exact same style cup. The cups are all the same, even when they go to stores, parties or are at their home or their parents homes. That is for continuity. Which leads me to another point. The fact that the glasses have to be the same, so as not to show drinks being consumed, that means they do multiple takes of supposed "real" conversations. There was a very big blow up the other night and the fact that someone cried, I was completely taken out of it because I noticed the glass. This made me question how many times they asked this girl to cry, or how many times they had this dude call her horrible names. And that happens all the time on these shows. It looks like it is a conversation unfolding in real time until you start to think about tv and the fact that they need the correct lighting and that they have to be able to fully hear everything and that the clothing has to be the same, it is all made up.

You could even put cooking competitions in this conversation. I cannot believe that a "Chopped" contestant can think on the fly as fast as these competitors do on the show. They come up with these crazy dishes in a matter of seconds. I have to believe that they have a little bit, at the very least, of an idea of what is coming in those baskets. And they also have to make multiple dishes in an allotted time. Stuff has to get messed up that we never see in the finished product on our tv's.

I could go on and on with other reality shows, but these two came straight to my mind when I thought of this piece. Reality shows are not based in reality. Sorry if that bursts people's bubbles. But I'm not here to tell you not to watch them. If you like reality shows, watch as much as you want. That may be your steez. They just aren't for me and I am going to continue to see what other things I notice while watching them. I will just keep it to myself when I watch with my wife. 

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast.

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The trashy "Bar Rescue" performs a record breaking dumpster dive

This strip club is way below my trash standards

ed note: Since the popularity of this article, Ty has decided to review each new episode of Bar Rescue. Look for his column on the latest episode every Tuesday.

I'm a big, big fan of the show "Bar Rescue" on Spike TV.

It's everything you'd want in reality TV. It's staged, it's trashy, people talk over one another so you can't hear what anyone is saying and the host is ridiculous. Jon Taffer is utterly insane. First of all, during the opening credits, he claims to be a member of the Nightclub Hall of Fame, whatever the hell that is. Second, his best way of delivering advice is to scream and yell and demean the owners of these failing bars. He also looks like a goblin, literally. He calls everyone failures and forces people to fire friends and family. This all sounds bad, but it's quite hilarious. His "specialists" that he brings in are just as absurd. They're all yes men and women. They look like bobble heads, anything Taffer says, they nod and agree, no matter how absurd or terrible the idea is. This show is the perfect reality show.

Taffer and his people have "rescued" a lot of bars. In fact, you can go to their website and see how many of the bars are still open. Last I checked, he had about a 50 percent save rate, not that good for all his talk. Well, on their latest episode, they did something I thought I'd never see on this show. I mean, it's pretty classless, but last night, they took it to a disgusting level.

Last night, they "saved" a strip club in Detroit. And yes, it was as gross as you'd think it could be. When they arrived, the club was called Chix on Dix. Ewwwwww! That's so appalling and very foul. When Chix on Dix first opened, the owners claimed they were making millions, I don't buy that. Then, the problems started. The club became dirty, the workers and strippers were disinterested and one of the co owners just stopped showing up. The strippers were not happy and they looked like it. They started to drink, sleep on the job and flat out quit doing their job. They also changed the name from Chix on Dix to Industrial Strip. Another terrible pun. What was the worst though, the new owner wasn't reprimanding customers that physically touched the dancers. Even I know that's illegal and I've only been to one strip club in my 33 years on Earth. I think strip clubs are depressing and gross, but that's not the point of today's blog. At this point, Jon Taffer and his "experts" are outside the club watching the action on a video in the car. Typical Taffer, he sees something he doesn't like, storms into the club and starts yelling almost immediately. Now don't get me wrong, these people deserve to be put down a couple of pegs, but Taffer could've gone about it differently. But, his go to move is to yell and berate. Taffer and his team assess the situation and get ready to go to work. His bartending expert actually had the easiest job because the current bartender was okay. She was lively and energetic, she just needed to be taught how to properly pour drinks. But, his cooking expert and his strip club consultant had their work cut out for them. The chef was the owner of the night club. Taffer hates this and addressed it right away. He made the other owner show up and be the boss and made the other owner become the chef. Needless to say, he struggled mightily. My only question, who eats at a strip club? Is the club not disgusting enough? Who goes to a strip club and thinks, I could use a meal? My only guess, A monster, but that's just my opinion. The strip club consultant, aka a lady who got to old to strip, but couldn't find a new job, had little to nothing to work with. The dancers were still disinterested no matter how hard this lady tried and she really tried. She showed them her tricks of the trade. She showed them how to interact. She showed them how to make extra tips. It all fell on deaf ears. Try as she might, these girls weren't interested. Instead of really pushing them, they just decided to bring in newer, more professional dancers. This is another Taffer staple. When he doesn't get results, he fires the old crew and brings in his people. That's pretty lazy in my opinion. After all this and the remodel of the club, Taffer renamed it The Power Strip. Another god awful pun. He put in new drink systems and new poles and cleaned the place up a bit.

As with the end of every episode of "Bar Rescue", the club looks like it's saved. Everyone is happy and flashing money along with their smiles. This episode was no different, but they went back six months later. The owners admitted that they weren't making as much money and the staff was going back to their old ways. Not surprising if you ask me. I was grossed out by this whole episode. I don't like strip clubs, as I said before. I don't drink and I definitely would not drink at a strip club. The people were flat out mean and nasty. I knew that this day was coming on "Bar Rescue". They were bound to do a strip club, but why did they pick such a gross one? It was very upsetting. I won't stop watching "Bar Rescue", but I will read what each episode is about now because I don't ever want to see them try and save another strip club.

This episode will forever haunt my nightmares.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man. Little does he know that the head editor has had plenty of meals at strip clubs, they were all for business meetings. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.