The Cleveland Browns are Hopeless

The new Browns mascot

After last night's terrible showing on Thursday Night Football, which the NFL needs to get rid of, I really think the Cleveland Browns are going to finish the season 0-16. I, like many other people, thought last night was their best chance to win a game. They were playing a Ravens team that had to gut out a tough win against the Steelers on Sunday. They had some guys injured, as does all teams, and Flacco and the Ravens offense has not be setting the world on fire by any means. The Browns usually stay in games too. They never really get blown out, but they can never seem to come through in the end.

Last night though, they looked abysmal. The Browns looked like the team that had a gritty, tough game 3 days before. They looked sluggish. They looked slow. They looked unprepared. They looked as bad as they have looked all season last night. They made Flacco look like a premiere NFL quarterback. The Ravens offense suddenly "got going". I don't put much stock into this offensive performance by the Ravens because the Browns make all teams look like they have elite offenses.

I totally put this loss on the terribleness that is the Cleveland Browns. They just can't do anything that resembles something good on a football field. They cannot run the ball at all. The line gets no push and they open no holes. The running backs are either running for their lives as soon as they get the ball from the QB, or they cannot break away from tacklers. They are bad. When your best receiver is Terrelle Pryor, that should alarm Browns fans. Pryor is a very good football player, but he is, by no means, a number 1 or 2 option at receiver on any other NFL team. He is more of a trick play or third option on a decent NFL team. But, other than Pryor, I cannot name one other receiver on their roster. Their tight end, Barnidge, used to be very good, at least a good fantasy option, but he has been non existent this season. The QB's aren't throwing to him, and that is a problem.

Then, we have the QB situation. I mean, how much worse can it get for this team? They have played so many QB's this year, and the problem with all these QB's, none are NFL starting caliber QB's. Last night they turned to Cody Kessler, and he wasn't even that good at USC. I mean, he was good enough to be a starter at a major power 5 university, but he should be a third string QB, at best, in the NFL. They have also started guys like Kevin Hogan, a rookie who benefited from David Shaw and Christian McCaffrey at Stanford last year, Josh McCown, who has been so mediocre in the NFL, I don't understand why he still gets chance after chance, RG3, who was great as a rookie in Washington, but he has become a shell of himself and he never learned how to properly slide, choosing to take multiple hits, and now can't stay healthy. Besides those three guys, the other names include, Charlie Whitehurst, Connor Shaw, Pat Devlin and Austin Davis. That is a TERRIBLE list of players. No team could win with guys like that starting at QB.

On the other side of the ball, the Browns defense just can't stop anyone. They're a myriad of reasons, but I think it is mostly due to spending way too much time on the field. The offense does little to nothing for them and then the defense is thrown back out there, usually in poor field position. Even with the addition of Jamie Collins, it won't matter. One good linebacker will not shore up all the problems this team has on defense. Like I already stated, they made Flacco look like a pro bowl QB last night, and he stinks.

Also, we cannot mention the Browns without talking about Johnny Manziel. He was a problem from the start. He never did the things he promised he would do, and they eventually cut him, which they needed to do, before the season started, but he had already done his damage. Manziel was also a HORRIBLE influence on their best offensive player, Josh Gordon, who went to rehab, now is out, and doesn't want to play for the Browns anymore.

This team is a mess. I think that Hue Jackson is going to be a good coach, he did a decent enough job at Oakland as the head guy, and he was a good coordinator for the Bengals, but he was put in a no win situation this year, especially when RG3 went down in the first half of the first game. This first season is a mulligan for him.

When I look at the rest of their schedule, I honestly do not see a win coming. They have 4 home game left, but they are against the Steelers, a loss, Giants, most likely a loss, Chargers, probably a loss and the Bengals, a loss. They also have to travel to Buffalo, probably a loss and at the Steelers, another loss. I just do not see a win coming from their final 6 games. Their best chance, in my opinion, is the Giants because Eli Manning is always capable of throwing a lot of picks, but the Giants defense will win that game for them. Others may say the Browns could beat the Chargers, but I think the Chargers could score 50 if they wanted. There is no way they beat the Bengals or Steelers because those teams are fighting for playoff spots, as are the Bills. This has been a rough year for the Browns and Hue Jackson, and I think it will end with an 0-16 record.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. At one point, Ty was sick of all the Browns talk. He now thinks we need to acknowledge their historic terribleness. 

Ty Ranks the 2016 NFL Teams: The Dumpster Fire Edition

Football is right around the corner people. The preseason starts next Sunday, and the regular season is a little over a month away. For the next 8 days I will countdown the teams in the NFL, 4 teams a day, going from worst to best, in my opinion. On day nine, I will do my postseason picks, including the Super Bowl winner, and I will also pick all my award winners. I will stick to some of my other, regular blogs, i.e., the "Bar Rescue" updates and some greatest American band picks, but for the most part, the next two weeks will be NFL heavy. I will also do a college football preview at the end of next week. So, hopefully everyone is ready for some football talk, because I'm ready to watch some football. I will break down the teams to the best of my knowledge and tell you why I have them where I have them in my rankings. 

Okay, let's get to the countdown.

Coming in at number 32, the worst team in the league this season will be the Cleveland Browns. The Browns are an absolute dumpster fire. They did some good things this offseason. They fired their old coach, they dumped Johnny Manziel, finally, they hired what seems to be a decent head coach, but other than that, this team is not very good. Their defense is very, very below average. They have no one on that side of the ball that can strike fear in any opponent. Their defensive line gets no pressure, their linebackers are mediocre and their secondary is subpar. They will give up a ton of points. Unfortunately for their defense, their offense won't be able to put up too many points. They have an okay receiver in Josh Gordon, but he hangs out with Johnny Manziel, he's been suspended multiple times for violating the leagues drug rules and, when he is in there, he doesn't have a very good QB throwing him the ball. The only 2 QB's worth anything on their roster are Josh McCown and Robert Griffin. McCown is not good enough to be most teams third string QB and we all know about Robert Griffin. He's a prima donna that cannot stay healthy and forced his way out of Washington. He had a great rookie year, but he has been oft injured and, when he is healthy, he has been pretty awful. They don't have any good running backs, so the run won't scare anyone. Their offensive line is subpar at best as well. The Browns stink. If they win 3 games this year, I'd be shocked. Hue Jackson is a good coach, but it is going to take some time before the Browns are anything close to an 8 or 9 win team. I say they finish 2-14 this year.

Coming in at number 31, I have the San Francisco 49ers. You may see that and think, they were a contender only 2 years ago, well, a lot has changed in 2 years. They put all their eggs in the Colin Kaepernick basket and he has proven to not be that good. He has no accuracy, cannot throw the deep ball and abandons plays way too early and relies on his legs too much. Then, people may say, well they hired Chip Kelly, way can't he turn the 49ers and Kaepernick around. First off, Kelly is not a good NFL coach. His zone read does not work in the very fast paced NFL. Chip Kelly is a college coach that somehow got two NFL jobs. He is not a competent NFL coach. They just lost their best receiver, Anquan Boldin, and they have no running game, Carlos Hyde is not that good. They lost all their good defenders a year ago to, mostly, retirement. This team can't score and they can't stop anyone. They are only slightly, very slightly, better than the Browns. I think the 49ers will go 3-13 or 4-12. They are not very good and until they overhaul the whole team, and get a new head coach, they will continue to be bad.

Coming in at number 29, I have the Tennessee Titans. I have liked what they have done in the draft the past couple of years, but Mariota is still only a second year player and he has little to no weapons around him. The Titans receivers are good, but very young and very unproven. They still need a few years. The backs are mediocre, but they can get better. The offensive line is not very good, save for Taylor Lewan, but he still gets far too many personal foul penalties. They have decent tight ends, but when the QB has very little time to find them, it doesn't matter. The Titans defense is not very good. Even when they play bad teams, like the 49ers and Browns, they still give up 20 to 30 points. This team also tries to run some kind of hybrid read option/west coast offense that looks very bad at times. Mariota still needs another year or two before he reaches his possible potential, as do the receivers and the backs. The defense needs to get a whole lot better before they are competitive. They can get better through the draft, which seems to be the way Titans are rebuilding right now. The Titans may win 5 games, but anymore than that would be a huge surprise to pretty much everyone, Titans fans included. I will give them the benefit of the doubt and say they finish 5-11.

At number 28, I have Mike Wilbon's favorite team, the Chicago Bears. This may surprise some people, the fact that I have the Bears this far down on my list, but they are a very, very bad football team. They let their best offensive weapon walk last year, Matt Forte, to the Jets. They have no good receivers. I don't care that they have names like Alshon Jeffrey and Kevin White, neither are that good. Hell, Kevin White didn't play a single snap last year because he got injured in camp. They don't have Martellus Bennett anymore, so they have no tight end threat. They got rid of Forte, as I mentioned earlier, and their consolation prizes are Jacquizz Rodgers and Jeremy Langford. Then they have one of the worst, most overrated, most annoying, most self inflating assholes at QB in Jay Cutler. I don't understand why people think he is a good QB. He didn't win in college. He has been very subpar in the pros. In fact, the lone time he has been to the playoffs, he got "hurt" and missed most of the Bears loss to the Packers. Jay Cutler may be the most overrated, non deserving players in the entire NFL. As long as he is the Bears QB, they will continue to be very mediocre on offense, especially since Matt Forte is gone. The Bears defense is not very good either. Sure, they signed Danny Treveathan away from Denver, but he will not turn this unit around on his own. They have no defensive line, and don't listen to the nonsense that has been coming out of Kyle Long's mouth recently, he is out of his mind. They can't pressure the QB and they can't stop the run. The linebacking unit, save for Treveathan, is subpar. The secondary in not good at all. The Bears are bad. The only reason they are ahead of the three teams before is, they always find some way to miraculously win a game or 2 that they should have no shot. They will either go 4-12 or 5-11. The Bears stink and they need a new QB.

That's it for today. Come back tomorrow for teams 28, 27, 26 and 25 and a "Bar Rescue" update.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. The teams he listed above would cause him to change away from the NFL RedZone network. These are teams with nothing worth watching. Follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.