Thank God the Kobe Era is Over

Tomorrow the Sun will rise on a better NBA

Ed Note: Check out Ty's initial reaction when Kobe announced he was going to retire.

Tonight marks the final game in the 18 year career of Kobe Bryant. Now, I'm not going to shower him with praise and talk about how great of a player he was, I'm going to do quite the opposite in fact. You may or may not have heard me already bash him on the mini podcast this morning, but in this blog, I'm going to really roast him.

Let's get the very few nice things I have to say about him out of the way first. Yes, he was a great scorer, top five all time perhaps. Sure, he won 5 championships. Yes, he was a multi all star and all NBA performer. And yes, he stuck with one team his entire career.

Now, thankfully that's all out of the way. I feel kind of dirty for saying anything nice at all, but it beared noting.

Time for the very long list of things I dislike about him and why I think he is one of the most overrated super stars of my generation. Let's start at the beginning. He declared for the draft straight out of high school the year after Kevin Garnett. First of all, I think he was mad that someone got to do that before him, but Garnett is one year older, so there was nothing he could do about that. But, it was the way he declared that has me dislike him right from the start. Bryant is only 4 years older than me, so when he declared, I was 14. The arrogance and cockiness with which he announced his decision was downright absurd. He acted like he was the best thing since sliced bread. Wearing sunglasses in doors and smiling like an asshole the whole time. What a douchebag. When Garnett declared, he seemed humble and happy at the opportunity. Not Bryant, he was cocky from the beginning.

Then, to have his agent tell teams he wouldn't work out for them, I mean, who in the hell does he think he is? He was an 18 year old that hadn't really done anything of note against any real competition. There is no way I would have drafted him based on that alone, but I would never draft a teenager, that's just me.

Then, the shadiness that went into him being drafted by Charlotte, then traded to the Lakers was beyond belief. If this kid was so good, how come 12 teams passed on him in the draft? The people who think that the draft lottery is fixed should definitely look at this moment as one of the catalysts.

Then, he gets in the league and is immediately upset at his lack of playing time on a perennial playoff contending LA Lakers team. I ask again, who in the hell did he think he was at 18? Veterans are going to get the minutes over a teenager on a good team. That's the way it has always been.

Then, when he did get his chance, he was a ball hog and a very porous shooter. He never looked for the open man, he only looked for his shot. He didn't care how the play was drawn up, he only cared if he got the shot. So, he was a terrible teammate from the moment he was drafted into the NBA.

Then, he did put in work to become a good scorer, but he didn't really focus on much else. I don't care what anyone at ESPN, Bleacher Report or Sports Illustrated says, he was not the leader and not the reason those Laker teams won titles. Had they not went out and acquired Shaq, and let Kobe be the leader, they would have been lucky to be a playoff team. Shaq made them a dominant force. But, was that good enough for Kobe, to be a multiple title winner? Of course not, because he was not the focal point of that team. The offense ran through Shaq and Kobe hated that. How selfish do you have to be, that you feud with, probably, the best center to ever play basketball? Why not just be happy to be the number two option on a perennial title contender? Kobe got dealt the best hand he could have ever imagined when the Lakers signed Shaq, but instead of being happy, he decided he wanted to feud. Kobe could never get along with Shaq, and that's a shame. As I stated, he was mad that Shaq was the man, but he also couldn't deal with the fact that everyone liked and knew that Shaq was a better player and teammate. This also drove him nuts, which, in turn, drove me nuts. He would openly complain about Shaq and Phil Jackson to the media. He would drag their names through the mud at any and every opportunity he got. What a childish act. Even when Bryant was accused of sexual assault, which I will touch on in a bit, he tried to turn the tables and say that Shaq fooled around too. Basically, he was DeAngelo Russell in the early 21st century. I mean, what a jerkoff.

Then, the front office gave in to their bratty, whiny star and traded Shaq away. Now, Kobe was the focal point of the team and guess what, the Lakers were mediocre at best. Sure, they'd win 43 or 44 games, but they never seemed to get out of the first round. Bryant proved he could not lead a team, no matter how many shots he took. But, some people will say, he won a title after Shaq left, but I will say, he didn't win until he got Pau Gasol, another top tier center. Bryant himself cannot lead a team to titles, he needs at least one other superstar. You know who never needed another star player to win titles, Michael Jordan. And, don't give me that whole Scottie Pippen is an all time great bull shit. Pippen, in the lone season where he was the main man on the Bulls, he sat out crucial moments in critical playoff games and the Bulls were very mediocre. Pippen may be the luckiest player to ever play in the NBA. Jordan was, and will always be, the GOAT. Kobe Bryant isn't a tenth of the player that Jordan was. Hell, I'd take Jordan right now before I'd take Kobe.

Then, after fracturing another relationship with another all star, Gasol left and the Lakers returned to mediocrity.

Then, the injuries started to pile up.

Then, the tanking began.

Then instead of taking a back seat to the new, younger nucleus, Bryant decided he needed to sign a two year extension that paid him 20 million a year. How did he expect to get this money and to get back to the playoffs, I will never know. He single handily crippled the Lakers franchise with this abomination of a contract. The Lakers couldn't go out and get the high profile player that Bryant needed if they wanted to compete again because Bryant's contract ate up all the extra cap space they might have had. They could get meetings, but they couldn't sign anyone worth noting. Yeah, they got Steve Nash, who was on the very back end of his career and rarely played, and yeah they got Dwight Howard, but he and Bryant feuded because Bryant seems to hate big men, but those teams were never very good.

Then, after Nash retired and Howard signed with the Rockets, the Lakers went into full tank mode, but they were still being led by Bryant. They tried to win again by drafting young talent, and boy has that planned completely backfired. Julius Randle broke his leg during his very first game as a rookie. We all know what's going on with DeAngelo Russell now. And who are they going to take this year? Either Ben Simmons, who may or may not be a head case, no one seems to know, or Brandon Ingram, who is good, but needs to gain weight and put in a lot of time to get used to the long NBA season. This team is a dumpster fire and it's because of Kobe Bryant. He is also, according to stats, which I don't usually care about, the worst shooter in the entire NBA this, his final season. And oh yeah, the Lakers are 16-65 at the moment. Tell me the last team led by Jordan that was under .500? None.

I cannot wait for tonight's game to be over so I can stop hearing about "Kobe's Farewell Tour". He stinks now and his team is historically bad. They are irrelevant. In a season where the Warriors should be the one and only story, Kobe Bryant has found a way to take that from them. He is selfish in every aspect of his life. The Warriors should be the top story on every sports news station, but when I turned on ESPN this morning, they were talking about Kobe's last game. They felt that a 16-65 Lakers team playing a 40-41 Utah Jazz team was a bigger story than the Warriors going for 73 wins tonight. What a crock of shit.

Bryant's terribleness goes beyond the court into his real life as well. As I said earlier, he was accused of sexual assault. First off, what kind of monster physically forces themselves on an unwilling person? The scum of the Earth only does stuff like that. Then, he admitted to having relations with this woman, but assured the media that it was consensual. Even if it was consensual, he was married at the time. So, that makes him a double scum bag. He allegedly forces himself on this woman and he is cheating on his wife at the same time. He is a real piece of human garbage. I know people will say stuff like, that's the past and he's made up for that, but you know who will never forget that day? The lady he may have forced himself on. She will always remember that, and that will always haunt her. He is also a terrible role model for his young teammates and young kids in general. He doesn't lead a team so much as he berates people who won't do things his way. He is, and always will be, selfish. He thinks his way is right, even though his way is ball hogging and yelling. I don't know of many athletes that get better or try harder when they get berated. That's not a quality teaching method.

Plus I cannot stand this whole "Kobe's Farewell Tour" and the #ThanksKobe bull shit. This farewell tour has been a giant jerk off session for his massive ego. He goes into visiting arenas, shoots 3 for 30, and visiting players shower praise on him. What a crock. He is way past his prime and he should have retired 5 years ago. Great players like Russell Westbrook, Kevin Durant, Chris Paul, LeBron James, they are all stroking his ego even more, telling him what a role model he's been to them. Bull shit. You guys would have been just fine had he been a run of the mill NBA player. Don't give in and tell him he is great, that's what he wants to hear. I also don't buy that he is some kind of nice person now either. He always has been and always will be a selfish asshole that only worries about how he looks. I guarantee if it were LeBron James and not Kobe Bryant retiring, Bryant wouldn't say one nice thing about James. He would not even open his mouth.

So, instead of lavishing him with praise like most other publications and websites will be, I'm going to say screw you Kobe Bryant. You have always been an ass, and you will always be an ass. You're an ungrateful piss ant that has never been satisfied with having the finest things in your life. You're a curmudgeon. You're a whiner. You're way past your prime. And you are no role model to me or my family. I'm glad I won't have to hear from you anymore after tonight. Good riddance and I hope you never resurface on a basketball court or an arena or on a television broadcast of any kind. I don't want to see your face or your overbite anymore. Goodbye forever.

Ty

Ty is the Pop Culture Editor for SeedSing and the other host of the X Millennial Man Podcast. Do you have passion like Ty? Come write for us. Also make sure you follow Ty on twitter @tykulik.